My Living Masterpiece
by laharvey125
Summary: Having found his Muse, young Deidara is determined to win her heart. The only problem is that she sees him as just a friend. Will stealing a kinjutsu be enough to impress her and show her that his love is for real? DEI/OC
1. Chapter 1: The Winner

[Deidara's Point of View]

This is going to be my most daring escape ever. No place is strong enough to contain the likes of me. Despite the threat of death looming overhead I managed to escape from my room and carefully made my way down the hall. My heart skipped a beat when I heard ominous footsteps nearby. I crouched down and peeked my head cautiously around the corner. Sweat trickled down the back of my neck when I saw a dark shadow against the far wall. Now it was too dangerous to go this way and I mentally cursed my bad luck.

I'd have to find another way out. The footsteps drew closer so I made a hasty retreat back to my room and quietly closed the door behind me. Pacing back and forth I considered my options. I could always try the window instead. It would leave me exposed but it was worth the risk at this point. I had to get out of here!

Forcing the creaky window up took great effort but at last I managed to pry it open. I leaned out the window and swept a critical gaze over the street. Strangers went about their business but no one noticed me. It was a good fifteen foot drop, enough to make me wary of just jumping to my freedom. Maybe I could tie a few sheets together. It worked in the movies anyway, why not give it a try?

I clumsily tied the sheets and blankets together, double and triple knotting it. Checking to see if the coast was still clear, I tied my make-shift rope around my bed post and threw the rest out the window. I carefully climbed out and clung to my feeble rope. Suddenly I wasn't so sure about this but it was too late to back out now. I painstakingly made my way down but the fabric strained and started to fray. I was about halfway down when the rope broke altogether. I fell hard, cracking my head on the concrete. I involuntarily cried out in pain as stars exploded from behind my eyes. I sat up and groaned as I held my aching head in my hands.

Then I froze as a shadow loomed overhead. I was caught.

I cringed and looked up sheepishly. "Hey mom…"

She glared down at me. "You are grounded remember?"

I scowled and lowered my gaze. "How can I forget?"

She picked up part of the rope and looked at my window to see the rest fluttering gently in the breeze. Her eyes widened. "And you've ruined your sheets too? You are impossible Deidara!"

"You can fix them though right?" I ventured cautiously.

She frowned as she shook the ruined end of the rope in my face. "Not when they're ripped to sheds! You'll just have to go without until your father's next commission."

I groaned. "But that could take weeks!"

She shrugged indifferently. "That's just the way it goes."

I rolled my eyes and stormed back towards the house when she called for me to stop. "If you're that desperate to go outside, then you can pick up your father's shipment of clay from Nadeshiko's shop."

My shoulders slumped. What good was freedom when it had a chore attached to it? Still it was better than being cooped up inside the house.

"And don't go wandering around," she warned me as I walked away. "Be back within half an hour or you'll be grounded for another week!"

"Whatever," I grumbled under my breath, my mood was decidedly sour. As I turned down the main street in Iwagakure, I was surrounded by merchants who cried out their wares. I ignored them all as I passed by and turned down a much quieter street. Most of the people living in this section of town were foreigners. Why did Dad insist on getting his clay from some dinky little shop in this part of town? There are other shops closer to home and more well known than this out-of-the-way one.

When I asked him why, he said that Masanori Nadeshiko had a special way of making the clay 'come to life.' That's crazy talk; his creations looked just as lifeless now as they did then. Then Dad shook his head at me (my parents do that a lot) and clapped a sympathetic hand on my shoulder. "Son, true art is not in the end result, but in its creation. The process of taking crude materials and its transformation into a flawless piece of art is a journey worth respecting. Masanori is the only businessman in Iwagakure, and perhaps in the entire Land of Earth, who understands that. That is why his materials are of the finest quality."

While I've never met the man personally, he sounds just as kooky as my Dad. Don't get me wrong, my Dad's considered one of the greatest artists in Iwagakure. His work is very impressive and I'm proud of him. I even make a few things from time to time. But I don't get hung up on the "creative process" like he does.

The store looked more respectable than I had imagined it would, given the part of town it was in. Well kept but not pretentious; it had more of a homey feeling to it. The shelves were lined with all sorts of supplies with a main table and cash register towards the back. No one seemed to be around though. "Hey!" I called out impatiently. "Is anyone here?"

"Just a minute!" A feminine voice called from the back. "I'll be right there!"

I lazily scanned the products on the shelves to kill time. If they kept all of their customers waiting like this, it's a miracle they get any business at all. Finally a girl a little older than me came out wiping her dusty fingertips on an equally filthy rag. Her hands were caked with dried clay, its earthy color nearly blended into her dark skin. I couldn't help but stare at her. I have never seen such an exotic-looking girl. The every atmosphere around her seemed to crackle with energy. She had golden eyes, pink glossy lips, and long blonde hair with black dreadlocks pulled back into a high ponytail. The bandaged right side of her face was covered by her long bangs. She looked so bizarre that she was her own definition of beauty.

She smirked at me. "Can I help you?"

I smirked back at her, it was obvious she was into me. I can't help it if I'm sexy. I rested one elbow on the table and leaned in close to her. She blinked in surprise at my forwardness, but that's how I win the hearts of the ladies. I'm not afraid to approach them. From this distance I could see her figure better. She had a small chest but wide hips and thighs. I ran my hand through my hair all macho-like as she continued to stare at me. "Do you have a map?"

"What?" She blurted out, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Because I just got lost looking in your eyes," I said smoothly as I flashed her a dashing smile.

She was quiet for a few tense seconds and then burst out laughing.

My face fell as she laughed so hard that she held her sides. "That's cute but you'll have to come up with better pick-up lines than that if you ever hope to win a girl over," she said as she wiped tears from her eyes after she settled down. "That won't work on anyone over the age of ten."

I glared at her, my pride was severely wounded. "It's worked before."

"Then you must like little girls," she teased with a friendly smile.

"No I don't!" I snapped at her as I slammed my fist on the countertop. "I'd like to see you do better!"

"I can and I have," she said in a casual tone. "Here, lemme show you one of my best ones." She leaned over the counter, her face now just inches from mine. She fixed me with a mysteriously alluring look; the gold flecks in her eye were truly mesmerizing. "I bet you twenty ryo I can kiss you without using my lips."

I frowned at her. "What kind of bet is that?"

"Bear with me kid," she chided with a flirtatious smile. "So what do you say?"

I smirked. There was no way I could lose. "You're on."

She leaned even closer and kissed me. I stiffened in surprise but I couldn't bring myself to pull away. This was unlike any kiss I've ever had. It was sweet and gentle but with a hint of lingering passion. She carefully cradled my face in her incredibly soft hands. My breath caught in my throat as she deepened the kiss and brushed her tongue against mine. I couldn't help but whimper. It felt incredible as it over-whelmed my senses.

I gasped when she slipped her hand into my pants pocket. What was she doing? "It's your reward," she whispered in the corner of my mouth. "I lost the bet remember?"

I have never been happier to win in my life.

She pulled away with a slightly devious smile. "So that's how it's done."

I was speechless.

"Anyway back to business," she said casually. "What can I help you with?"

I still couldn't speak. My entire body tingled with pleasure.

Just then a tall man entered the room from behind her. It was obviously her father; he had the same dark skin, yellow hair and golden eyes. He was a muscular man with broad shoulders, large biceps, a weathered face, and a square jaw. Despite his intimidating appearance his eyes gleamed mischievously. He barked a laugh. "Well, if it isn't Tamotsu-san's boy! What brings you here?"

I forced myself to look up at him and I'm sure that my face was still red.

"You're here for your father's usual order right?" He prompted.

"Uh yeah that's right, hm," I stuttered nervously.

He rested a hand on his daughter's shoulder. "Grab it for me, will ya? It's in the storage room, third shelf on the right." She nodded and left. I stared after her. How could she act so normal when she just changed my world?

I snapped to attention when Masanori spoke. "I've never seen you come here before. Are you finally following in your father's footsteps?

I forced myself to pay attention. "I don't know sir. I haven't thought much about it."

She returned with a large package which she hefted with ease and set it on the table. I felt awkward once again when I realized that I didn't have my wallet on me.

Masanori shook his head. "Don't worry about payment. It's already been billed to your Father's account."

"Thanks for coming," she smiled at me, the very picture of innocence. "We appreciate your business."

I suddenly remembered the time limit mom had set for me so I said my goodbyes and hurried back home. Dad was just removing his shoes when I closed the front door behind me.

"Hi Deidara," he said with a warm smile. "What'cha got there?"

"Your package from Nadeshiko's shop," I said as I held out the package. "You didn't tell me that Masanori-san had a daughter."

"Didn't I?" He said absent-mindedly as he opened the box and examined its contents. "I guess it slipped my mind. Why, did you meet her?"

_I did more than that_, I thought smugly but was content to keep that a secret. "Yeah, she seems…uh…nice, hm. I didn't catch her name though."

"I believe its Natsume," my dad said as he took the package to his workshop and I followed after him. "She's a nice girl and helps her Father out with his shop. She's about eighteen I think."

So she's older than me by four years; that's not too bad of an age gap. By now Dad was engrossed in his work and I was effectively ignored. No matter, I'd found out all I needed to know. As I walked back to my bedroom, I touched my mouth thoughtfully. I could still taste her salty sweet lips and I grinned from ear to ear. I knew one thing for sure: I was going to get another one of those kisses.


	2. Chapter 2: No Better than the Rest

I was anxious to see Natsume again. I couldn't get that kiss out of my head and still felt that tingle of pleasure whenever I remembered it. How soft her lips felt against mine, the graceful way her tongue glided over my own. That sounds a little weird, can a tongue be graceful? Anyway the point is that I enjoyed that minute of ecstasy.

But I was still grounded and couldn't leave the house until I served my time for…whatever it was I'd done wrong. These days I lost track of all the "naughty" things I did, naughty by mom's definition anyway. She's a nice woman but often pretty strict. What she calls naughty I call a heck of a good time. Sometimes I get caught and other times I don't, but it's always worth the risk. Until now that is…how was I going to survive a whole week stuck inside the house? Then I realized that I had to find a way to impress Natsume, win her over, whatever you call it. I just have to find a way to get one of those kisses again. There's no way I can lose this time! My pick-up line before was juvenile, far from my best, but this time I'll wow her for sure.

I practiced in front of the bathroom mirror, flashing dashing smiles as I rehearsed new material. This was all done with the utmost secrecy, there's no way I'd let my parents know that I'm crushing on a girl. Parents have the tendency to ruin things. Dad was as clueless as ever. He's always focused on his art. Mom, however, was harder to evade. She knows me well and noticed the change, suspecting I was up to no good again no matter how innocent I acted. I should probably stop doing that. Acting angelic only makes me look more suspicious.

At last I was free to leave the house again. I got up early that morning and took off running down the street to Nadeshiko's shop. My heart pounded in my chest and my palms grew sweaty as I approached the door. What did I have to be nervous about? I totally had this in the bag. The bell over the door sounded as I pushed it open. To my dismay Natsume wasn't behind the counter this time. Masanori grinned from ear to ear. "So you're back huh?"

I blinked in surprise. I knew he had been big but I didn't remember him looking like a body builder with muscles out the wazoo. Then again I hadn't really paid him much attention last time; I only had eyes for his daughter. His muscular physique was terrifying but his friendly smile softened the tough guy appearance. "How is Tamotsu-san doing these days? Did he need anything?"

I swallowed nervously. Did Natsume tell him about our kiss? And if he did would he kill me? Dads tend to be over-protective of their daughters. But Masanori acted friendly enough, so I gathered my courage and approached the counter. "Dad's just fine; he's finishing up a commission for the Tsuchikage. I came to see Natsume-san."

"She's working in the studio today. Is it something I can help you with instead?"

"I'd…well…it's just that…hm," I stuttered nervously as I racked my brain for an excuse. Then it came to me and I spoke clearly. "She offered to teach me about pottery and ceramics."

Masanori smirked gently. "Did she now?"

I nodded vigorously. "Yes she did."

"Natsume doesn't tutor," he said bluntly as a mischievous gleam shone in his eyes. "It's not her style."

"She made an exception for me, hm!" I insisted, trying to keep my tone calm but I felt panicky. I had to see her!

He looked me up and down, like he was sizing me up for minute and then he silently pointed at a door behind him. I thanked him, slipped around the counter, and hurried towards the backdoor before he could change his mind. Once inside I looked around in surprise. The studio was even larger than Dad's, three times bigger I'd wager. There were shelves and cupboards with supplies along both sides of the studio and a large kiln towards the back.

But I didn't see her anywhere. Was she still in here? I walked further inside and looked all around. At last I found her at a potter's wheel and my heart jumped into my throat. She looked a mess with dried clay caked all over her but still managed to look beautiful. How is that possible? She wore a striped tank top that bared her midriff and revealed a belly button piercing. THAT was sexy! She also wore a pair of short shorts and loose sandals. Her long hair was completely pulled back and styled in a messy bun. There was an eye-patch over her right eye that I hadn't noticed last time when she wore her bangs long and loose. She was hard to work shaping a lump of clay into…well it was too early to know what it was yet. She bit her tongue as she concentrated, her delicate fingers moved gracefully as it came to life under her gentle persuasion.

I couldn't help but stare in wonder. How could she make something so mundane and boring look exotic? Time seemed to slow and seconds crawled as the clay came to life in her gentle hands. She was one with her creation as she practically breathed life into her masterpiece. It was breathtaking to watch.

When at last she finished, she carefully lifted it up and looked it over. Pleased with the result, a satisfied smile touched her bright pink lips. She stood up and placed it on a nearby table with other creations of varying kinds. As she turned around, she accidentally bumped the table with her wide hips. A vase toppled over and she bent over to catch it. It was then that I noticed she had a tattoo on her lower back, just above the waist band of her low rise shorts. A delicious shiver ran up my spine as I involuntarily whistled.

I clapped a hand over my mouth in horror as she spun around to see me. Her golden eye was wide as she stared at me. I swallowed nervously. This wasn't how I envisioned my suave opening. She blinked in surprise and I was speechless.

She looked me up and down. "Who are you?"

My jaw literally dropped. How could she not recognize me? Especially after giving me a kiss like that? That hurt and I glared at her as I went red in the face.

Then it was as if a gleam of recognition lit up her eye and she grinned. "Ah yes, I remember now."

I heaved a sigh of relief as I wore a satisfied smile. Of course she wouldn't forget.

"You're the kid who was looking for a map," she teased playfully with a wink as she grabbed another slab of clay and sat back down at the potters wheel.

My temper flared back up and my hands curled into trembling fists. I can't believe it! I had spent all week fantasizing about her and that kiss…but all she could remember was my lame pick-up line? So not fair! I stormed up to her but she didn't look up from her work as it spun around. "I'm busy," she said flatly. "What do you want anyway?"

"You!" I blurted out.

She stopped and stared up at me. "I beg your pardon?" She gaped.

I was completely embarrassed. All of that planning went straight down the toilet. I had it all planned out; sweeping her off her feet should have been a cinch. Now I looked like such a fool as I scrambled to find my way out of this mess. "Uh, that is…I uh," I mumbled. "I want you to teach me, hm!"

"Ah I see," she said with a side smile as she turned back to her work. "I don't do that kind of thing."

"Why not?" I frowned.

She shrugged, her gaze lowered as she concentrated. "It's not my thing. I like to work alone, you know? Well I guess you do now."

"Please?" I begged. "And besides it's not like you'd be starting from scratch. I already know the basics because my dad-"

"Exactly," she interrupted as she turned her head to the side, never bothering to look up. It was annoying. Wasn't I worth paying attention to? I was tempted to smash it but then she'd just throw me out for good. "Your dad is a Master and I'm nothin' but a novice. He's more qualified to instruct you if you really cared."

"But I want _you_ to teach me," I whined as I racked my brain for a better excuse.

She smirked. "Yeah I've heard that one before," she giggled softly. "You're not the only one who's said that line. But that's never what they come in for and I suspect the same is true for you."

I took a step backward as I felt goose bumps crawl up my skin. Could she see through my lie? And other guys have said the same thing? That bothered me.

She paused for a moment and looked up at me through her dark eyelash. "Am I right?"

I gulped nervously, then lowered my gaze in shame and nodded mutely. My shoulders sagged dejectedly; it was all over now.

"Hmm," she said curiously. "You're the first one to admit it."

I looked up to see her considering me for a moment. She looked thoughtful. "You're different from the others," she said almost to herself.

"Is that good or bad?" I asked warily.

She narrowed her eye shrewdly. "That remains to be seen. What's your name kid?"

"Deidara," I said as I flashed her a winning smile. She hadn't thrown me out yet so there was still hope after all.

"I'm Natsume," she said even though I already knew her name. But it made sense; we didn't exchange names last time. She stopped the wheel and stood up. "So let's see what you can do." She pointed at a lump of clay. "Make something for me."

"What? Now, hm?" I blurted out nervously.

She nodded. "I want to see what you're capable of."

I grinned. "So does that mean you'll teach me?"

"I didn't say that," she clarified. "And besides we both know you'd rather have a kiss anyway." I reddened again. I hate it when I do that but she had a way of catching me off guard. "Well forget it. I'm just curious about your artistic potential, that's all," she went on. "So go ahead."

I frowned for a moment. So a kiss was completely out of the picture? Talk about a major disappointment. Still, I didn't want to leave yet. Obediently I rolled up my sleeves, grabbed the clay, broke it into pieces and set about making a spider. She was probably expecting something more generic like a bowl or plate or something boring like that. But this was a small bit of clay, not much to work with. Or was that supposed to be the point?

When I finished I held it out to her in the center of my palm. She leaned down to inspect it with a critical gaze. "May I?" She asked as she reached out to take it from me. I nodded and she carefully picked it up. "Fascinating," she said in awe as she lightly touched the delicate legs. "These legs are paper thin. How did you get these to support its weight?"

"An artist never reveals his secrets," I said mysteriously to cover up the fact that I didn't know the truth either. It was just a silly little design I came up with as a kid. It really wasn't anything special.

"Not bad kid," she admitted with a side smile. "I've got to say that I'm impressed."

"So will you teach me?" I asked eagerly.

She frowned at me as she set the spider on the table. "You're still hung up on that? What for?"

"I…I just…hm," I got tongue-tied again. Her eye narrowed shrewdly and I knew there'd be no fooling her. I'd have to hope the truth wouldn't sound weird. "I want to get to know you."

She suddenly threw her head back and laughed. I didn't know how to react to that. I didn't know what was so funny. "You're in over your head kid so beat it. I'm the kind of girl your mother warns you about," she grinned deviously as she turned on her heel and walked away.

She's probably right but I didn't care. I followed after her as she looked through a drawer of supplies. "Please Natsume-san," I insisted. "I was serious."

"I know," she said as she looked at me sideways. "But it's a bad idea."

"Why, hm?" I scowled.

She groaned as she slammed the drawer shut and turned towards me. "Will you leave if I kiss you?"

I smirked at the prospect but I had to be truthful. "No."

She frowned. "And why not?"

Now was my moment, time to turn on the charm. I leaned in close and my hand rested on the counter behind her. I tilted my head to the side, my lips close to her ear. She stood completely still, even when I placed my other hand on her hip. To be this close to her gorgeous body was intoxicating. "Excuse me," I whispered, my lips brushing against her ear. "Can you empty your pockets? I believe that you've stolen my heart."

She giggled softly as she turned her head slightly to look me in the eye. Her expression softened and her gaze alluring as she leaned in close. She whispered into the corner of my mouth. "That wasn't bad kid, you're getting better. Perhaps I ought to reward you with a kiss..."

I smirked as I wrapped my arms around her waist. But she pulled away when I tried to pull her closer. She shook her head in disappointment as she stepped back. "So in the end, you're no better than the rest."

I frowned in confusion. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Forget it," she said softly. "Forget I said anything."

I watched her walk away and felt at a complete loss. Things had been going so well, what had I done wrong? She crossed to the other side of the studio as she pulled out glaze materials. I started to approach when someone else slipped in through the backdoor. It was Ryo Watanabe, a muscular jock in his mid-twenties. He was tall, dark, and handsome; the classic triple threat. He was very popular with girls, but what was he doing here? A pottery shop wasn't cool enough for his style. Her back was to him as he crept up behind her. I took a step forward to stop him when he grabbed her arm and turned her around.

Her eye lit up with delight when she recognized him. He looked smug as he pulled her in for a passionate kiss…the kiss that should've been mine. She leaned into him and he slipped his hand into the back pocket of her shorts. That intimate gesture spoke volumes, he must be her boyfriend. "What are you doing here?" She giggled. "I didn't expect to see you until tonight."

He smirked and his gaze was lustful. "You really think I could wait that long?"

She giggled as he kissed the side of her neck but I couldn't bear to watch anymore. I ran out of the studio and past Masanori who asked how the first lesson had gone. I couldn't answer; I was too angry, devastated, and upset to be reasonable.


	3. Chapter 3: Unreasonable Demand

[Natsume's Point of View]

Deidara stormed out with a face like thunder. I'm surprised he didn't slam the door behind him. Oh well, it didn't matter. I'd never see him again anyway. Of course Ryo didn't even notice; he was too busy feeling me up. His touch was eager and lustful as always. It created an incredible rush that went straight to my head. I was delighted to see him because usually he insisted on meeting only at night. I'm sure there's a reason for this secrecy but I don't care. When I'm in his arms, I feel loved and needed. That's all that really matters.

"I need you Natsume," he said huskily. "Don't make me wait until tonight."

I giggled as I gently pushed him back. "You're going to have to. I'm working right now.

"I don't care about that," he said firmly as he pressed me up against the counter. I gasped in surprise as his passion intensified.

"You're forgetting that my dad's in the other room!" I protested but he kissed me to shut me up. My resolve weakened in the heat of his passionate embrace. I couldn't resist any longer and wrapped my arms around his neck as I kissed him back. Then the next thing I knew we were making love in a dark corner behind the storage bins. I was still reeling afterward when he quickly dressed and left. I lay on my back for several minutes. My heart pounded loudly in my chest and my pulse raced as I struggled to catch my breath. It was like a high I couldn't get enough of. Those precious minutes filled with passion and caresses…I sighed in pleasure. It felt euphoric to connect so intimately with another person, to be wanted and loved…to be needed…

But as always, after the high came the crushing reality. I was left all alone, discarded and abandoned like refuse.

I curled my hands into fists as I started to cry. For all his honeyed phrases and promises during sex, he had left without a word. Not even a "Wow that was incredible" or "I love you so very much." Only now did I remember that he hadn't even said hello or ask how my day had been. He was only after one thing and once he got it he was nowhere to be seen. I hated myself for letting him take advantage of me like that. But we've been dating for a few months so you'd think I'd be used to it by now. All guys were like that, obsessed with my looks and the pleasure they can get from my body. None of them really cared about me. I've always known that…so why does it still hurt so much?

I quickly started to get dressed, Dad can't know about this. I think it would break his heart if he did. As I stepped out into the main studio once again, my eyes happened to rest on Deidara's spider sculpture. I paused beside it and touched it gently. He was an interesting character. Just as perverted as Ryo I'm sure but there was a strange sense of honesty about him too. The others guys who hit on me were smooth talkers but Deidara kept tripping all over himself. Even his lame little pick-up lines made me laugh. He had a unique charm about him and for a moment I was intrigued. But in the end he just couldn't wait to get his hands on me, just like every other guy I've met. I sighed as I hung my head._ There's no such thing as Mr. Right, _I thought miserably. _True love is nothing but a joke._

He wasn't likely to come back so what should I do with the spider? I picked it up and looked at it again. A smile crept across my face. I couldn't bring myself to destroy it, it was simply adorable. I place it in the kiln with a few other finished pieces and left it to bake. Then I busied myself with other work.

That night Dad and I went out to eat at our favorite seafood restaurant. "So I take it that Deidara-kun's first lesson didn't go well?" He teased with a wink.

I smirked. "Ah so you're the one who let him in. What possessed you to do that?"

"He said you promised him a pottery lesson."

I couldn't help but laugh. "What a liar."

"Yeah I figured as much," he grinned as he took another bite of fish.

"So why didn't you send him away?" I asked curiously. "You know my policy on tutoring."

"Because I knew that he didn't really want to learn anything," he chuckled. "I do believe he's quite taken with you."

"Of course he is," I said matter-of-factly. "Him and the rest of the male teenage population."

He sighed melodramatically. "Ah yes, such is the fate of the Nadeshiko family. Beauty that is both a blessing and a curse." We both had a good laugh over it. "But seriously," he continued. "He's a good kid."

"And how would you know?" I asked with an arched brow. "You don't know him at all."

"He's Tamotsu-san's son," he said confidently, as if that proved anything.

I laughed. I'd met Tamotsu a few times; he was good friends with Dad. He was quiet and friendly in an inconspicuous way. "He's nothing like Tamotsu-san."

"Really?" He asked in surprise. "Then what is he like?"

"A rogue wannabe."

"All guys act big and tough," he shrugged. "They don't want to appear weak."

_None of us do_, I thought wryly as I lowered my gaze. Just then I heard Ryo's voice from a nearby table. I pretended to drop a napkin and sneaked a peek at him from under the table. He was sitting with a few other guys, probably his friends. I've never met them personally so I didn't know for sure. "So this is it Ryo," one of them jeered as they elbowed him in the side. "Your last night of freedom."

"Yeah tomorrow's the big day right?" One of the others asked.

Ryo nodded. He smirked confidently in that sexy way of his. Even now my heart started to beat a little faster. "Certainly took long enough too. I thought it'd never happen."

"Yeah you two had one of those arranged marriages right?" Another asked.

My eyes widened. An arranged marriage?

Ryo nodded. "Yep, Reiko and I have been betrothed since we were kids. And tomorrow I'll wed and bed her," Ryo grinned openly as he ran a hand through his gorgeous hair. "I can hardly wait."

His friends laughed along with them but I felt my heart shatter. How could this be? He told me that he loved me…that I meant the world to him…it was all just a lie? Completely furious I forgot that we were in a crowded restaurant. But in my temper all I saw was his smug face as he bragged about his bride to be. How dare he? HOW DARE HE!

I stormed over to his table, he didn't even see me coming until it was too late. One of his friends pointed me out and he turned his head in time to see my fist. I punched him so hard that his nose broke and he flew out of the chair, tumbling head over heels. He scrambled to his feet and glared at me. "What's wrong with you, you freak?"

Even now he pretended not to know me! Even when I caught him red-handed, I meant nothing to him. Saving his reputation was more important to him than my feelings were. I truly lost it so I kicked him in the crouch. His eyes widened as he grabbed himself and fell back to the ground. I stepped over him on my way out the door. I walked away and never looked back; though I'm sure everyone thought I was insane. I didn't care what they thought.

I forced myself to keep a steady pace. I wasn't going to run away in shame. I didn't do anything wrong. "Natsume!" Dad growled behind me, his hand on my shoulder. "What was that all about?"

I shrugged him off. "Not here dad. I'll tell you at home." I tried to sound indifferent but my voice cracked with emotion. Tears welled up in my eyes but I wouldn't cry here in the open. If I did, I knew I wouldn't be able to stop. Once we got inside the house I collapsed to my knees and sobbed into my hands. Dad knelt beside me and hugged me close. I cried into his shirt, staining it with my tears and mascara. He didn't say a word as I bawled.

It hurt! It hurt so bad! How could Ryo do that to me? Had I always been so worthless to him? Was I just a stand in? Practice for the main event? I felt so sick to my stomach. And like a fool I had bought each and every lie. Who was the bigger idiot? Him for not being faithful or me for believing his lies?

Dad rubbed my back like he used to when I was a kid. "Who was that guy?" He asked carefully.

"He was my boyfriend." I mumbled as I gently pushed him away.

His eyes widened. "Your…boyfriend? Wait, you mean the guy who's getting married?"

I nodded numbly as I forced myself onto my feet. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Natsume…" he gently said as he reached out for me.

I pushed his hands away. "I said I _don't_ want to talk about it!" I snapped. "Goodnight Dad."

I trudged wearily up the stairs and collapsed onto my bed. I curled up with my pillow and cried myself to sleep. _Love sucks…it sucks so bad…._

In the morning I had a killer headache from crying so much. It was a matching pair with my broken heart. Dad was in the kitchen making breakfast when I walked downstairs. I turned aside to walk out the door but he called after me. Groaning I turned around and sat at the kitchen table, resting my head in my hands. "What do you want Dad?"

"I made your favorite," he said encouragingly as he set a plate under my nose.

It smelled delicious but I gently pushed it away. "I'm not hungry."

He gently pushed it back. "I don't buy that so eat up already."

I glared up at him. "I know what you're gonna say so just say it!"

His gaze softened sympathetically. "I'm sorry things didn't work out for you."

"No, that's not it," I growled as I jumped to my feet. "That's not what you want to say!"

He blinked in surprise. "What else is there to say?"

"You're supposed to say that I'm no better than mom!" I screamed at him.

He went deathly pale. "What?" He asked hoarsely.

"Its true and you know it!" I snapped. He was frozen in place and that's where I left him. I had to get away from here.

As I walked through town, I came across the wedding party as they departed for the temple. The bride was a delicate girl, beautiful and graceful; obviously aristocracy. Ryo was there was well, dressed up so properly I hardly recognized him. The sight of them together, hand in hand, seared like a hot iron in my mind. Did she even know about me? Or did she really think this was her dream come true? The ideal wedding with the ideal man? What a joke.

I turned around and ran in the other direction; I wasn't going to follow in their wake. I kept running, weaving around the crowd that followed after the "happy" couple. I just wanted to be alone right now, alone with my resentment and self-pity. It's not that I wanted to marry Ryo. I barely knew him, our relationship was more passionate than personal, but I had invested my fragile feelings in him. I liked the attention he gave and how special he made me feel…I can't really explain it. I trusted him, I really did. I'm such a fool. Shouldn't I have learned by now that love never lasts? Especially when mom first taught me that all those years ago…

By midday I reached my destination: Lake Kiyomizu. It was sort of like my own private getaway, the place that reminded me of my home in the Land of Water. I missed the smell of the ocean. This obviously wasn't the same, but the water did have its own soothing scent. I dived into the brisk water and swam around. Then I floated on my back and stared up into the clear sky. It was a beautiful day. Of course it would be. It was just perfect…for everyone but me. _Oh get over it!_ I scolded myself as I closed my eyes. _This isn't your first break-up! He's just a guy so forget about that scum and move on already. He isn't worth your tears._

The sunlight overhead warmed my brown skin, the cool water tingled, and a warm breeze swept over the lake; it felt incredible. Nature has a way of making the world simplistic, its own remedy for stress. It brought a smile to my face. Here I could forget the world and everyone in it. I did that for a few hours and I started to feel better. But now it was late afternoon and I had to go home before it got too dark.

I passed through Iwagakure's main gates at about nine o'clock at night. I didn't go straight home though. No doubt Dad was going to be in one of his moods and rightly so, it was very childish of me to run my mouth off and run away. Still I didn't want to fight on an empty stomach so I bought some yummy junk food at the park and sat on a bench to eat. It was delicious and I licked the leftover seasoning from my fingers. Reclining in the bench I gazed up at the stars. It was a beautiful sight. At long last I forced myself to get up. I have delayed the inevitable so I might as well get it over with. I walked down the dark path alone. I'm sure it's very late now so I didn't encounter many out for a midnight stroll.

"Ah, there you are." A familiar voice purred behind me.

I stopped in tracks as a chill ran down my spine. _No…it couldn't be_, I reasoned with myself. _It's just your imagination, that's all. _Then a strong pair of arms wrapped low around my waist and pulled me back against him. I flinched as a pair of lips brushed against the back of my neck. "What are you doing here Ryo?" I asked breathlessly. I hated him with every fiber of my being but my body melted at his touch. Was I truly so weak? So easy to take advantage of? "You're married." I reminded him firmly.

"I am," he whispered against my skin. I resisted his gentle touch and succeeded in pulling away. He grabbed a hold of me again, this time we were face to face. "Where do you think you're going?" He growled, the look in his eyes were flinty.

"Leave me alone!" I snapped as I tried to shove him back but he held his ground, his grip on my arms tightened painfully.

He pulled me up against his perfect body. "Reiko was too innocent and naïve to be any fun in bed." He smirked as he ran a hand down my side. "I demand satisfaction and you owe me."

I glared contemptuously at him. "I owe _you?_ You've got a lot of nerve! What makes you think I'll-"

"Because I'll press assault charges if you don't," he smirked as he slipped his hand up the back of my shirt. "Remember that little stunt you pulled in the restaurant…in front of all those witnesses? It's my word against a foreigner…who do you think the police would believe?"

I swallowed nervously. Prejudice against foreigners was common here and I knew they'd side with him. Besides, what proof did I have to support my claim? Everything we had done had been in secret. There wasn't a shred of evidence to defend me. He chuckled as he kissed me. "That's right; I could have you arrested in a heartbeat. Now give me what I want."

"Forget it!" I growled as I finally succeeded in shoving him back. I took off running and he chased after me. I didn't get far before he tackled me to the ground. Pinned down, I thrashed underneath him while I screamed for help.

"Save your breath," he chuckled deviously. "No one can hear you out here."

"Don't do this Ryo!" I pleaded as he kissed along my bare shoulder. "You can't-"

"I do whatever I want," he smirked as he looked me in the eye. "You'd do well to remember that."

Just then he was wrenched off of me and thrown backward by a blonde teenager who looked strangely familiar. He stood protectively in front of me. "Leave her alone!

Ryo glowered at him as he stood up and brushed dirt off his clothes. "This has nothing to do with you so get lost," he seethed.

"I'm not going anywhere!" The teenager growled.

I jumped with a start when I finally recognized the voice. It was Deidara! But…what was he doing here?


	4. Chapter 4: Jailbirds

[Deidara's Point of View]

This was one of those times when breaking curfew was worth it.

This morning I was still pretty upset so I needed a distraction. I wasted the day at my friend Hitoshi's house. He's lucky enough to have a mom who lets him play video games. So we hung out eating junk food and playing game after game. It didn't work as well as I would have liked. The memory of the kiss was seared in my mind…the kiss that should have been mine. It's so not fair. I'm much cooler than Ryo.

"Hey man…you ok?" Hitoshi drawled as he looked at me funny.

"Yeah why?" I asked indifferently.

"It's just that…you seem…you know…distracted." He shrugged. Apart from his crazy thumbs skills he was pretty slow, taking the term "laid back" to a whole new level.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I frowned.

"You know it's cool…if you want to talk about it…"

I bristled as I glared at him. "Don't go there dude. Talking about problems is something only girls do."

He arched an eyebrow. "So you admit…that there's a problem?"

I scowled. "No I didn't so shut up and play, hm."

He grunted with a shrug and didn't press the issue further. Eventually it got late enough that I had to leave so I walked through the park on my way home. Head bowed and hands in my pockets, my thoughts returned to Natsume.

Just then a piercing scream cut through the air and I jumped and looked around. There it was again, a shrill female voice. "Help me! Anybody!" I didn't recognize the voice but I could sense the fear and terror behind it. My feet moved before my brain had time to process it. I didn't know what I'd do when I find out who's screaming and over what but that didn't matter. Someone needed help. As I got closer I heard more.

"Don't do this Ryo! You can't-"

That's when I saw them. Natsume was pinned down to the ground with Ryo straddling her waist. She struggled against him but he held her arms down as he kissed her. She was frightened and trembled from head to foot.

"I do whatever I want," he smirked as he looked deep into her eye. "You'd do well to remember that."

The way he looked at her sickened me, like she was his to do with as he pleased. Something instead me snapped and I rushed over to stop him. In the heat of the moment I grabbed a hold of him and threw him. Instinctively I stood between them, determined to protect her.

As he stood up I remembered how much bigger and older he was than me. Perhaps I was a little foolhardy in being so impulsive. But I wasn't about to back down now. I glared at him. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Then you asked for it!" Ryo snarled as he drew back his fist and charged. His stance was too far forward and unbalanced. He was no shinobi. I activated partial Rock Armor, a classic earth technique. It covered my arms, hardening them into weapons. I easily dodged and struck him hard in the middle of his back. He grunted in pain and collapsed to the ground. Natsume scurried backward as he nearly landed on her. With a sadistic sneer he grabbed her ankle and tried to pull her towards him again. "You're mine!" He said triumphantly.

She kicked him in the face just before I kicked him in the side, which sent him rolling. He struggled to sit up, pressing a hand against his bruised side. A guttural growl sounded deep in his throat as he glared murderously at me. "I'll kill you for that!"

I smirked. "Just try it punk."

There were so many jutsu's I could have used to instantly take him out. Obviously I wouldn't kill him…no matter how tempted I was. But also that didn't mean that I was going to go easy on him either. I had a score to settle so I stood my guard as he charged again. Did he really think that was going to work a second time? What an idiot. Just as his fist swung towards my face, I quickly slipped through the ground and disappeared out of sight. Then I reappeared behind him and smacked the back of his head. He whirled around to strike but I disappeared once again and reappeared elsewhere. I did this over and over, getting in one good hit before disappearing under the ground again. Completely frustrated, he was worked into a frenzy that borderlined on hysteria which was just what I wanted. Now was the time to shut him down for good. I reappeared and struck him over and over with powerful punches that bruised on contact.

It felt strangely satisfying too, serves him right for making moves on my girl. Well…hopefully my girl one day. I bet she's watching me and is so impressed with my heroism that I'll get a kiss. That's what happens in the movies right? Ryo weaved unsteadily on his feet and collapsed. Then suddenly I was restrained from behind with cuffs slapped on my wrists. I looked over my shoulder to see two police officers frowning back at me. A third helped Ryo to his feet. "What happened here?"

"He attacked me!" Ryo growled as he spat blood onto the ground. "For no reason!"

"Liar!" I snapped at him as I struggled. "That's not what happened and you know it!"

"We'll get to the bottom of this," the police officer assured Ryo and then gestured for his comrades to take me away. Ryo smirked satisfactorily as they led me away.

"You coward!" I snarled as I struggled against their tight grip on me.

"I wish to press charges against her as well," he pointed at Natsume. "For her attack yesterday."

"Very well Watanabe-san," The officer bowed respectfully. He reached out to cuff Natsume but she shook her head.

"I'll come willingly," she assured him and approached me. "Easy kid," she whispered as she rested a hand on my shoulder. "We've lost this fight so give it up already."

I scowled. What the crap? I swoop in and save the day and instead of being grateful she scolds me? She didn't speak again and I was too angry to talk either. It just wasn't fair. Still it had felt great to beat the crap out of Ryo; it had been worth it just for that. At the station we were questioned and required to give a written statement. Then we were locked in a holding cell with solid concrete walls on all three sides with a barred side facing the hallway.

She took a seat on the floor and sighed wearily as she rested her head back against the wall. "I'm sorry," she said sadly.

I frowned. "For what?"

"For getting you involved."

"You didn't force me to," I reminded her as I sat cross-legged facing her.

She considered me thoughtfully for a moment. "Why did you do it?"

I gave her a funny look. "What kind of question is that? You needed help."

She sighed again and lowered her gaze. She was so melancholy and quiet, sitting there so terribly still. It didn't make any sense. Was she sad that we were stuck here? That I failed somehow as her hero? What was it?

"What happened back there?" I blurted out.

She glared at me. "That's an impertinent question."

"I think I've earned the right to ask," I said firmly. Ok maybe that did come off a little insensitive but I was curious. Why was she so happy to be with him yesterday only to be scared of him twenty-four hours later? It didn't make any sense at all.

Her pink lips curved into a delicate side-smile. "Yes, I suppose you have. Ryo-san and I have been together for a few months and today he got married to another girl. I only found out by accident that he's been betrothed to her since childhood."

I frowned. "Well if he's married then what was he doing with you?"

"He didn't find his virgin bride satisfying enough so he thought he could blackmail me into sleeping with him again."

I flinched. It hurt to think of them being _that_ intimate. "Blackmail? How?"

Her delicate smile curled into a wicked one. "I beat him up yesterday when I found out that he'd been cheating on me. In front of his friends too."

"That's _awesome!_" I laughed. "I wish I could have seen it!"

She laughed too. "It was pretty awesome." Then she quickly sobered; her expression sorrowful once again. "I am sorry."

"What for this time?" I huffed.

"For getting you in trouble," she said softly. "This doesn't have anything to do with you."

"Don't worry about," I smirked. "Besides having a criminal record is going to make me look even more attractive to the ladies."

"It'll compensate for your terrible pick-up lines," she laughed.

I scowled as I reddened. "They're not _that_ bad, hm!"

"Yes they are," she teased as she tweaked my nose. "They're perfectly awful but sweet in their own way."

I glared fiercely. "They're not supposed to be!"

She laughed again, what a beautiful sound. "By the way thanks for coming to my rescue."

I grinned. "Anytime."

"There shouldn't be a next time. I certainly don't mean to make a habit out of it," She said as she stretched, elongating her beautiful body. How I wanted to hold it close to mine. I still remember how incredible it felt to be close to her in the studio. Her scent surrounding me as her lips were so temptingly close. Then just when I thought I had won her over, she comes out with that line: _So in the end, you're no better than the rest_. "What did you mean when you said that I'm not better than the rest?"

"You're still thinking about that?" She asked in mild surprise as she stood up and sat on one of the cots. There was one on each side of the holding cell.

I stood before her, looking down. "Well…yeah."

She wore a sly side smile. "I should have thought it was obvious."

"Well it wasn't."

Grabbing a hold of my shirt she pulled me even closer. She wrapped my arms around her waist then cradled my face in her hands as she whispered against my lips. "Fill in the blanks kid. Guys say those stupid little pick-lines for a reason."

She felt incredible in my arms, her lips soft and full against mine even if it wasn't really a kiss. It took every inch of resolve to hold still. If I gave in and kissed her, I'd only be proving her right.

"Guys just chat girls up for however long it takes to get their clothes off. It's all about getting laid. So you turn on the charm to trick us into believing your pretty little lies." Her tone sounded calm as she held completely still. "Do you deny that?"

"Some guys are like that, hm." I confessed. "But I'm not one of them."

"Are you sure about that?" She giggled as she slipped a hand up my shirt. Her delicate fingertips traveled along my smooth skin.

I moaned softly as my eyes rolled back into my head. I felt weak and light-headed, that's never happened before. Usually I'm the one in control though granted I've never been this intimate with a girl. This was an entirely new experience for me. Then she gently pushed me away, stood up and folded her arms across her chest. "_That_ is what I meant when I said you were like the rest and I still think that."

"Now hold up," I protested as I struggled to regain composure. I felt dizzy after being so close to her. "You've got it all wrong, hm!"

"Do I?" She asked with an arched eye brow. "You're interested in me but on what grounds? You don't know me at all. You don't know my past and my hopes for the future. You don't know my fears, my dreams, my true self." She shook her head sadly. "No, you settle for what you see on the surface, ignoring the depths within my soul. You guys are all alike, all for what you can get."

"Then why do you give it?" I blurted out. She glared and swung her hand to slap me. I caught her wrist and narrowed my eyes coolly. "You're right about some things but that still doesn't explain why you gave in to a guy like Ryo-san. You dare compare me to him? I'm _nothing_ like that scumbag! Did you ever stop to consider that?"

She blinked in surprise, completely speechless. Just then keys rattled in the lock and the door swung open. An officer entered with a respectful bow. "Security footage at the park confirms your story so you are free to go. Your parents are waiting for you in the lobby."

She wrenched her hand free and stormed out of the room. I followed after her, a little disappointed to be freed so quickly. What's the point of bragging about jail time when it had lasted less than an hour? Mom pulled me into her arms as she wept over me. "Oh Deidara! I was so worried! Are you safe? Are you alright?"

"Chill mom I'm fine, hm" I grumbled, embarrassed beyond belief. So much for my tough guy image.

Thankfully Natsume didn't seem to notice. She spoke quietly with her father, her expression was apologetic. I couldn't hear what they were whispering about over my mom's hysteria. He looked very serious and nodded firmly. Then he pulled her into a hug which she welcomed with a smile. Then Masanori clapped a hand on my dad's shoulder. "You've got one stellar young man there."

Dad smiled proudly at me. "That we do."

"Well we'd best be heading off. Keep in touch."

"I will," Dad assured him. "Safe travels, my friend."

My eyes widened at this. They left without a backward glance, his arm wrapped protectively around her shoulders. I looked back at dad. "Travel? Where are they going?"

Dad sighed; his eyes were full of sorrow. "Masanori-san worries that when the story spreads his daughter might be in danger."

"Danger?" I asked with a frown. "From Ryo-san?"

"From his bride's family. They're a proud noble clan and won't look kindly on their son-in-law's indiscretion. To save face they may say she tried to seduce him." His gaze adverted modestly. "She does have a certain…questionable reputation."

Somehow that didn't surprise me at all. "But they'll come back right?"

He nodded. "When the gossip dies down."

"And how long will that take?" I asked. I didn't like the idea of her being away, even if it was for her protection.

He shrugged. "A few months probably. Come, the hour is late and we all need our rest."

I followed my parents silently as I thought about what she'd said. _You're interested in me but on what grounds? You don't know me at all._ It hurt to admit that she was spot on about that. All this time I've wanted another kiss, to hold her close. That was pretty shallow and made me no better than Ryo in that regard. But it also didn't help that she would excite me with her closeness. It's like teasing a kid with candy, of course I'm gonna be tempted to taste her. But there was more to the conversation than her critical view of guys. There was devastation in her eyes, unspoken pain in that golden gaze. It made me sad in retrospect, what exactly has she been through?


	5. Chapter 5: Surprise in Shimizu

[Natsume's Point of View]

"There is one thing I want to make perfectly clear," Dad said when he locked the door behind him. "You are _nothing_ like your mother." I lowered my gaze sadly and he gently rested his hands on my shoulders. "Your mother intentionally ran off with a married man, you accidentally dated a betrothed one. They're not the same thing."

"They're similar enough," I grumbled.

"No they're not," he said firmly as he pulled me into a big bear hug. "I love you Natsume. I'm just relieved that Deidara-kun got there in time to save you."

I sighed. "Yeah…he was really something…"

He kissed my forehead. "Now try to get some rest. Tomorrow we'll go to our vacation home by the seaside. We could all use a break."

I nodded and went up the stairs. As I changed into my pajamas I thought about what Deidara said earlier. _You're right about some things but that still doesn't explain why you gave in to a guy like Ryo-san. _My heart dropped into my stomach as I curled up in bed. I knew I was a hypocrite for both condemning and welcoming the perverted attentions of Ryo and the guys before him_. Whenever I give in I feel completeness, acceptance, and love. That's all I want…is that really so wrong?_

I fell into a restless sleep, tossing and turning throughout the night. Then just before dawn I was startled awake by the sound of shattered glass. I bolted out of bed just as Dad ran into the room. There didn't appear to be an intruder but my windowpane had a hole through it. Among the shards of glass was a rock with paper tied around it. He carefully brushed the glass off, untied the string and opened the message. I reached for it but he held out a hand to stop me. His face twisted into an angry scowl as he swore under his breath and ripped it into shreds. "Change of plans, we're leaving right now."

"What?" I protested. "But I haven't packed yet! Why do we-"

"If we don't leave right now there'll be more where that came from," he said grimly as he grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door. "I'll leave a note for Tamotsu-san and he'll send on whatever we need. Now let's move!"

We slipped out the backdoor as more glass shattered behind us. I chanced a glance over my shoulder as I saw intruders breaking down the front door. They wore stiff military-like uniforms with the emblem of the Kawano Clan over their right breast. They must be the security detail of that clan and apparently weren't happy about my release from prison. Some high-ranking clans often take matters into their own hands. Ryo must have come from a very important family to have been betrothed to family as impressive as the Kawano Clan.

Dad and I escaped through the back alley and down into the sewers. It was completely disgusting and I gagged at the terrible stench. Hopefully those following us would be deterred as well and leave us be. It seemed to work as we successfully slipped out of Iwagakure. I wanted to stop and take a breather but Dad insisted we keep moving. "Just in case," he panted as he too struggled to catch his breath. "They've sent the message to any allies in the neighboring area."

"What message?" I pressed but he didn't answer.

We kept off the road as we traveled on. I was completely worn out and nearly dead on my feet by nightfall. Thankfully Dad didn't think we had to sleep in the forest so we took lodgings in a small boardinghouse for the night. I took a shower while he had some dinner and a local newspaper sent to our room. He was looking through it when I came out of the bathroom. Dinner was set out on the table and I sat down to eat. "Aren't you going to join me?" I asked.

He shook his head as he flipped through the pages. "I've already eaten," he murmured distractedly. "Now where would I find…ah yes…here it is."

"Where what is?" I asked curiously.

His expression paled. "It looks like we left just in time. The house has been ransacked though thankfully Tamotsu-san rallied the local police to action before anything could happen to the shop." He sighed in relief as he rested his face in his hands. Material possessions mattered less than his shop did. It was more than just a business, it was his life, what defined and inspired him. I was also relived to hear that it was safe from the intruders. It's a good thing we had clothes and other possessions in our vacation home.

"This is all my fault," I said softly but he shook his head.

"No Natsume," he said kindly. "You couldn't have foreseen this."

"So does that mean we'll live in Shimizu permanently?" I asked hopefully. I've always preferred living by the seaside like we used. Dad's a bit of a free spirit so we move around a lot whenever he fancies.

He shook his head. "We shouldn't have to, Tamotsu-san has friends in high places and he'll sort this matter out before long."

My shoulders sagged in disappointment. Oh well, that's that then. Once Dad has set his mind to something it's pointless to change it. I finished eating and turned in early for the night. As I drifted off to sleep I remembered that I had left Deidara's clay spider on the nightstand in my bedroom. It was probably stolen or destroyed like the rest of the stuff. For some reason that made me sad. It was terrible to know it was gone.

The next morning we ate a hearty breakfast and Dad arranged for transportation for the rest of the five day journey to Shimizu. Apparently the Kawano clan's influence didn't reach this far as we were ignored by our fellow travelers.

We arrived by the end of the fifth day. Chieko, the housekeeper, warmly greeted us. She's about ten years older than me and is family friend who manages the place while we're away. Dad inherited it from his uncle and it has a vineyard on the property that brings in impressive revenue. Chieko also has a major crush on Dad (despite the fact that he's fifteen years older than her) but he doesn't seem to notice. I wonder if he's afraid of getting his heart broken again or if he's genuinely not interested. I've never asked; it didn't seem appropriate to pry.

It's been about a year since we were last here. Dad's business in Iwagakure keeps us too busy to vacation often. So I guess this misfortune with Ryo has some benefit after all. Chieko fixed us a delicious dinner before we turned in for the night. I sat by my windowsill, the view overlooked the beach. The moon was high in the sky, the air warm and salty as the waves crashed gently against the white sand. I took in a great lungful of air and released it with a smile. Oh how I love the smell of the ocean. It reminds me of home and life before mom abandoned us. While I hated her for leaving, life had been wonderful then. I missed that security and life didn't feel the same without her. I missed her so very much…back when we were a real family.

There was a knock at the door and Chieko stepped inside. "Forgive the intrusion but I thought you'd like a drink before bed."

"Thanks Chieko," I smiled as I took the offered drink and sipped it. It was strawberry lemonade, my favorite.

"It's good to see you again," she said as she sat beside me. "Though not under these circumstances."

I stiffened at this. "You mean the gossip got here before we did?"

She shook her head. "No, your dad told me just now." Then she blushed and whistled under her breath as she fanned herself. "Seriously can he get any hotter?"

I laughed. "That's a Nadeshiko for you, possessed with beauty that's both a blessing and a curse."

"I could live with a curse if only he…" She sobered and looked away sadly. "But that's how it always is."

"I know," I commiserated. "If Dad were ever to re-marry I hope it would be to you."

She sighed as she twirled a strand of her turquoise hair around a lazy finger. "Maybe it's because I'm so much younger than him…not to mention half of the female staff adores him too so how am I supposed to be noticed in that crowd?"

She looked so sad. It wasn't like her to be depressed so I tried to cheer her up. "You know him better than those silly twits," I gently elbowed her in the side. "He told me that this place would be in shambles if not for your management."

She cracked a sad side-smile. "What else does he say about me?"

I tapped my chin in thought. "Well…he's grateful for the work you do here…thinks you're kind, clever, and wonders why you're not married yet."

"He can remedy that quite easily!" She laughed and I laughed too. She hugged me close. "I am glad you're back Natsume."

"Me too," I said softly. Chieko was like the sister I never had, both my confidante and my best friend. She bade me a good night before she left. I went to bed shortly after and fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

The next morning I was eager to go to the beach, even before breakfast. Dad was there too with our surfboards. I was a natural but it took Dad a while to get back into the swing of things. I think it has something to do with his massive size. It's a challenge to balance that on a thin wooden board. But soon we were riding with waves together. We laughed as we goofed off and joked around. My dad is so awesome. Chieko greeted us when we returned and waiting for us in the dining room was a wide selection of food for breakfast including native fruit from The Land of Water. "Well done Chieko-san," he grinned proudly as he picked up one of his favorites. "You're incredible; you even remembered all of my favorites."

She bowed respectfully as due her position but I noticed a faint blush of pleasure spread across her cheeks. Then she withdrew to attend to other business, the estate did keep her fairly busy, and we sat down to eat. "You know Dad," I ventured cautiously. "You should help Chieko; it would do you good to learn the business in case we ever live here permanently."

He barked a laugh. "This vineyard stuff is too complicated for my taste. No, no, I trust Chieko-san to handle the details and besides we're here to relax remember? No work for either of us."

I sighed. Well, it was worth a shot. After breakfast I went into town looking for my friends. Some of them had married since I was last here and I didn't bother looking those up. Married couples, especially newly-weds, are frightfully boring. They're too caught up in their husbands and their kids to have any real fun. But I do wish them well and secretly envy their happiness. Three of my friends were still single and soon we were celebrating my return.

"I thought you'd never come back," Airi teased as we sat in our favorite café drinking cappuccinos.

"Yeah why can't you just live here instead?" Haruna pouted as she stirred some sugar in her drink. "Life is frightfully dull without you here."

"You're exaggerating," I laughed. "But it's nice to be missed."

"So how long will you be staying this time?" Kiyoko asked curiously.

I hesitated. "I don't know yet, but probably for awhile."

They blinked in surprise and leaned in close to me. "You're hiding something! C'mon spill already!"

So I told them and they cursed Ryo's name which brought up the topic of ex-boyfriends in general. For the next couple of weeks we hung out together every day, whether at the café, the beach, or shopping in town. It felt great hanging out with friends. I don't really have any in Iwagakure, I don't know if that's because we're considered foreigners there or what. But Shimizu feels more like home to me. When I move out in a couple of years I think I'll move here.

One morning Dad was looking through the mail. He remained in contact with Tamotsu concerning affairs in the big city. He was a good friend and was in the middle of repairing and refurnishing our house while we were gone. That was very generous of him, especially considering that he refused Dad's offer to pay him back. He also was working with the Kawano Clan and local authorities to clear my name and save what's left of my reputation. Personally I didn't think he should bother. I secretly hoped that we would have to stay. But that was selfish of me since Dad looked forward to working in the studio again.

Dad found a letter from Tamotsu, broke the seal, and as he opened it another paper fell out. He picked it up and looked at the writing on the front. "It's for you."

"For me?" I asked in surprise. "From Tamotsu-san?"

"It's not his handwriting but was included in his letter. Perhaps it's from your young hero," he winked playfully.

"I sure hope not," I grumbled as I took the letter from him and left the room to read it privately. I ripped it open and looked at the signature scrawled at the bottom. It was from Deidara after all. Scowling, I crumbled up the letter and shoved it into my pocket. I didn't want to hear from him. I was still angry about his smart remark, even if he was right…_especially _because he was right. Besides I had plans with my friends again and didn't have time to waste thinking about him.

Airi threw a big party at her place with tons of people. I was at my flirtatious best, guys were all around me offering drinks and snacks. Its too easy, just bat your eyelashes a little, pout your lips, and arch your back ever so slightly and they go crazy. Out of all of them Ichiro stood out the most. Tall, dark, and handsome; just the way I like 'em. He even found a way to corner me, quite impressive given the crowd. He was incredibly dreamy with his amorous eyes and the gentle curve of his mouth. His thumbs hooked into the belt loops of my shorts as he pulled me close and rested his forehead against mine. "Out of all the girls here…_you _are the most beautiful."

"Guilty as charged," I smirked deviously as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He would make a nice replacement for Ryo. "But I warn you…I'm not easy to win over."

"Not a problem," he chuckled as he brushed his lips against mine. "I like to take things slow."

I giggled. He was a player alright, but an attractive one and I could use a little distraction while I'm in town. I think he'll do nicely. Sadly we were interrupted by Haruna who desperately needed my help with something. I blew him a kiss over my shoulder and he winked with a sly smile. The party lasted well into the night but I had a blast. Ichiro offered to walk me home even though I suspected his intentions were far from chivalrous. Sure enough he tried to get all hot and heavy but I didn't give in, no matter how tempted I was. I have my pride; I don't just give myself to any pretty face. Especially not on the first day. Not to worry though, there was plenty of time to make him mine in the future.

As I changed out of my clothes for the night, paper slipped out of my pocket. I quickly changed into my pajamas, picked up the paper and looked at it. It was Deidara's letter; I had forgotten all about it. I frowned again as I sat on the bed. Why would he write to me? It wasn't going to be a sappy love letter was it? My curiosity won and I started to read.

_Natsume-san,_

_ I'm sorry about what happened to your house but I'm glad to hear that you made it out of there in time. That Ryo-san is such a jerk, what you saw in him I'll never know. He's still trying to cause trouble but Dad's reputation is higher than his. Don't worry, he'll sort things out. Anyway, I miss you and hope you'll give me a chance to prove that I'm different than Ryo-san. Though let's face it, I can hardly be worse. _

I glared at his cheek. So he thinks I'll just settle for him? What a brat. I didn't bother to finish the letter and ripped it into tiny pieces. Then I burrowed under the blankets and fell asleep.

Over the next two weeks Ichiro worked hard to impress me. He was incredibly charming, seductively sweet, and super attractive. But that's all there was to him. He was far from intellectual and only talked about himself and his hair products. That was ok with me. I wasn't looking for substance. I was just looking for a guy who would adore and spoil me. Yes that was completely shallow of me but then again he wasn't any better. He didn't even bother to ask what my last name was.

When I woke up this morning I took extra care of my appearance. After tempting and teasing him till he was absolutely crazy about me, I decided to take things to the next level. He had already planned a date for tonight but this time I'd give him what he wanted. I styled my hair elaborately, used my favorite perfume, and wore my sexiest outfit: a red and white corset with straps connecting it to a black mini-skirt and thigh-high red silk stockings. Of course I threw a sweatshirt over it. Dad could tolerate a mini skirt but he'd KILL me if I wore a corset. Then I opened the window and took in a lungful of the fresh sea air as I always did. The sun beat down on my face and I closed my eyes and smiled at its warmth.

Suddenly it was dark as if a cloud had covered the sun. But it happened too fast for it to be a cloud. I opened my eyes to see a pair of brilliant blue eyes staring at me. I blinked several times but still couldn't believe the sight. It was Deidara, hanging upside down from the roof, his long blonde hair hung loose and long as it waved gently with the breeze. He smirked at my surprise. "Hey there."

I slammed the window closed and yanked the curtains together as my heart raced a mile a minute. No, it was impossible. I must be imagining things. There's no way he'd come all the way to Shimizu just to hang outside my window. I cautiously drew back the curtains. I didn't see him so I opened the window again and leaned out, looking all around. I didn't see anything out of the ordinary. I heaved a sigh of relief as I giggled nervously. My stomach grumbled so I left to get some breakfast.

Dad was already eating when I arrived in the dining room. Chieko was showing him plans for some renovations she explained were necessary to maintain the business' efficiency. I doubt he was really paying that much attention, he trusted that kind of detail to her. But of course she was considerate enough to keep him informed. They both greeted me with smiles before turning back to work. I was still too shaken up from earlier for my heart to really be into breakfast so I just picked at my food half-heartedly before giving up altogether. I went back up the stairs and down the long corridor to my room. This place was so spacious compared to our place in Iwagakure.

I locked my bedroom door behind me and stripped off the sweatshirt. I was going to have to find a better cover up because I was sweating in this bulky thing. I approached my walk-in closet when I heard the strange sound of paper rustling.

I looked over my shoulder to see Deidara sitting on my bed casually flipping through my diary. "For a private person you do an _awful_ lot of writing. Though this entry from last week is especially fascinating." He smirked up at me. "I didn't know you like to skinny dip. Would you take me along next time?"


	6. Chapter 6: Impossible Dreams

[Deidara's Point of View]

She stared at me with her eye impossibly wide as she went deathly pale. Just like this morning at her window, I don't think she thought it was really me. But why was she so surprised? I told her in my letter that I'd be visiting.

"That's my…you're…that is…" Then she flushed scarlet as she glared at me with flames dancing in her eye. She charged at me with hands out-stretched to strangle me. "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

I sat absolutely still as she ran at me. Then I simply twisted to the side, grabbed her shoulders and slammed her into the bed. I easily held her down. She grabbed a hold of my hair and yanked hard. I clenched my teeth and hissed in pain but didn't let go. She didn't either and we stared at each other, both refusing to back down. Our faces were inches apart and I was so very close to her trembling pink lips. "I _hate_ you!" she seethed. "You break into my room-"

"You left the window open," I reminded her.

"That wasn't an open invitation to sneak inside and read my diary!"

"Ok," I conceded as her grip on my hair tightened and my eyes started to water. "I shouldn't have read it…but…I couldn't r-resist."

"Well you should have!" She hissed. "What are you doing here anyway?"

I frowned. "What are you talking about? Didn't you get my letter?" She grimaced and her gaze averted. She let go and my hair slipped through her fingers. I let go of her shoulders and sat beside her. I couldn't help noticing how sexy she looked but I forced my eyes to look at her face instead. "Well, didn't you?" I prompted.

"I did," she said softly. Why did she look embarrassed?

"So then you should know why I'm here."

She shrugged indifferently as she climbed out of the bed and disappeared into the closet. "Will you be here long?"

"About a week," I said as I stretched my arms behind my head. "Then I travel on to Yamada for orientation."

"Orientation? For what?" She asked curiously as she came out and pulled a dark t-shirt over her head, effectively covering the corset. Now I was sorry I didn't stare when I had the chance. What was she covering up for anyway?

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. "You didn't read it, did you?" I accused her.

She shrugged again. "So what if I didn't?"

My shoulders sagged as I scowled. "I put a lot of work into that letter."

"Hey I didn't ask you to write it. What do you think we are? Pen Pals or something?"

Her flippant attitude was beginning to bug me. "No but what's wrong with being friends?"

She paused for a moment and looked at me for a long while. Her keen gaze was suspicious. It penetrated my heart and threatened to shake my confidence altogether. I swallowed nervously as I gathered my courage and approached her. Her posture was unyielding but there was vulnerability in her eye that I saw her trying to hide. I took a step closer in spite of myself. I stuck my hands in my pockets so I couldn't be tempted to pull her into my arms. "I want to be friends. So…what do ya say?"

She smirked gently as she folded her arms across her chest. "I say you're not telling the complete truth."

I flinched, she was amazing perceptive. She leaned into me. "I know what you're really after," she whispered with her lips so very close to mine. "I can see it in your eyes."

I swallowed nervously, afraid to move in case I crack and kiss her. "There's nothing wrong with me being attracted to you, hm."

"No, I suppose not," she murmured as she turned away. "But it does make you a liar."

I bristled. "No it doesn't! I was serious about being friends, hm!"

"But only as an objective, a stepping stone to your real goal." She giggled softly as she opened the bedroom door. "You forget that I play that game as well. The only difference is that I'm not so obvious."

She quietly closed the door behind her. I was so angry and frustrated. Yes I want to hold her close and kiss her sweet lips but that wasn't all! My attraction to her wasn't solely based on beauty. She was mysterious, intelligent, and witty. She had the power to unnerve me and weaken my resolve. I liked the idea of losing control despite my drive to be _in_ control. That's why I wasn't about to give up. I want to know who she really is.

I threw open the door and took off running down the corridor. She wasn't anywhere to be seen. I started opening door after door, she couldn't have gone far. Then suddenly Masanori appeared behind one of the doors I threw open. I panicked and jumped back with a cry.

He blinked in surprise and then barked a laugh. "Ah Deidara-kun! I didn't expect you until tonight! When did you arrive?"

"Uh, just now, hm" I bluffed with a sheepish grin. I could hardly tell him I'd been in his daughter's room. Dads don't generally like that. "It's great to see you again sir."

"Same here," he grinned as he clapped a hand on shoulder. "Congratulations on your recent appointment to the Explosion Corps. Your dad is very proud."

"Yeah he is," I nodded. "Where's Natsume-san? I wanted to tell her about it."

He shrugged as he steered me down the corridor. "Who knows? She comes and goes so often. But I'm sure she'll be happy to see you."

_If she was then she sure had a funny way of showing it_, I thought ruefully. _Or was that because she caught me reading her diary?_ I really couldn't resist though. I wanted to know the secrets she keeps locked inside her heart. What I had found was surprising and not necessarily in context. She comes off very vulnerable and lonely in her writing. I never would have guessed given her vivacious personality. It's almost like she puts on a show. Plays her part to perfection, dazzles and excites the audience but never reveals her true self. Why is that?

Masanori insisted on giving me a tour of the place and I'll admit I was impressed. I never would have guessed that the Nadeshiko's were pretty well off. No offense, but their shop looked like a hovel compared to this. Then he introduced me to Chieko the housekeeper who showed me to my room.

It was just as big as Natsume's room and generically furnished, most likely a guestroom. It even had a full bathroom, very nice indeed. I could really use a shower.

"I hope you'll forgive me for asking," Chieko bowed respectfully. "But are you the young man who protected Natsume?"

I nodded. "Why do you ask?"

She smiled broadly and her round face shone. "I wanted to personally thank you."

I considered this for a moment. "You're welcome," I said softly.

"I'll have your things brought up. In the meantime please make yourself at home." She bowed again and turned to leave.

I stretched out on the bed and yawned widely. Then I tucked my hands behind my head as I stared up at the ceiling. Now that I had time to think about it, something Natsume had written in her diary really bothered me. It had been dated just the day before: _Haruna told me that I shouldn't waste my time with someone like Ichiro. That nothing good would come from it. She's absolutely right but she's forgetting that love has nothing to do with it. It never has before. Love is nothing more than a fantasy, an illusion, and I'll have no part in it._

How can that be? What girl doesn't dream of getting swept off her feet and living happily ever after? Again I sensed there's a reason behind this dismal point of view. And it only served as further motivation for me to prove her wrong.

The next thing I knew there was a knock at the door. My eyes flew open and I realized that it was nighttime already. I sleepily rubbed my eyes and sat up. I must have fallen asleep. It made sense though; it had been a long journey to Shimizu.

"Excuse me young sir," Chieko called through the door. "Dinner is ready, will you join the family?"

"Yeah just a sec," I said back as I hurried into the bathroom. There wasn't time to shower now but I quickly washed my face.

Chieko waited patiently for me outside the door and bowed slightly when I stepped out into the hallway. "This way please."

"So did Natsume-san come back yet?" I asked curiously.

She shook her head. "No, she often dines out with friends. She's quite popular in town."

How interesting considering the loner she was in Iwagakure. In Dad's attempt to clear her name he encouraged those who knew her to vouch for her. No one came forward and most people had never even heard of her either. But perhaps she feels more at home here. I know I would. A villa by the seaside with fresh air? It was far better than the stuffy industrial atmosphere of Iwagakure.

Masanori was waiting for me and naturally during the meal he wanted to talk about Dad. I'm not very close to my Dad; our personalities tend to be incompatible. But I do respect him, for all his quiet mannerisms he has a fiery spirit when necessary. His defense for the Nadeshiko family has been most impressive and I have no doubt he'll convince the Kawano Clan of her innocence. With any luck the matter won't go to the Tsuchikage though I'm sure Dad could win the old man over too. Especially after all the work he's done for him.

"So tell me," Masanori said as he changed the subject. "How did you get into the Explosion Corps at your age?"

"Well I possess the Explosion Release Kekkei Genkai-"

Masanori frowned in confusion. "What's that?"

Oh that's right, Masanori isn't a shinobi. I'd better simply then. "It's a bloodline trait that runs in my family. My parents don't use it but I'd like to."

"What does it do?" He asked curiously as he paid full attention. Why doesn't Natsume do that?

"Basically I can blow stuff up just by touching it."

He frowned slightly. "That sounds dangerous."

I shrugged. "I guess so, but that's why there's specific training involved. The Explosion Corps works directly under the Tsuchikage so it's well-regulated."

"I can't say I understand all that Shinobi stuff," Masanori shrugged as he placed his napkin by his empty plate and stood up. "But good luck to you."

I nodded as he turned to leave. Then I sighed as I finished my meal all alone. I hope it wouldn't be like this the whole time I was here. Was Natsume avoiding me or was she really that busy? After dinner I decided to go outside and explore the beach. I took off my sandals and dug my toes into the sand. The moon was rising just over the horizon, round and full. I was content to sat back and watch it. The breeze from the ocean was salty and warm. I took in a deep lungful and released it was a smile. I could get used to this.

After a while I felt restless so I stood up and walked along the water's edge. The waves that gently rolled in ran over my bare feet. I stuck my hands in my pockets as I walked on. My thoughts returned to Natsume. For someone who didn't want much to do with me, she was often on my mind. Why is that? I barely knew her and yet she had made such an impression on me already. It was just like the movies, I suppose, love at first sight.

"Oh it's you."

I stopped and looked around. Then I saw Natsume sitting on the beach with her arms wrapped around her legs. She wore a tired smile and her expression was sad.

"Are you alright?" I asked as I approached.

She shrugged and flinched as if her shoulder hurt. She gently rubbed it. "Yeah, more or less."

I sat down beside her and frowned worriedly. She seemed like a hollow shell of her sexy self this morning. "Did something happen?"

She silently stared out at the ocean and I wondered if she had even heard me at all. I was about to repeat the question when she opened her mouth to speak. "Tell me kid…do you ever dream of the impossible?"

_I'm sitting right next to it_, I ruefully thought to myself. But instead I nodded.

She sighed, lowered her gaze and embedded her fingertips in the soft sand. Then she raised her hand and let the sand slip slowly through her fingers. "So what do you do when what you dream of is completely of reach?"

I held up my hand to catch the sand. "You let friends help you make them come true." I said as I cupped my other hand under hers and carefully put the sand back in her hand again.

She giggled softly as she pulled her hand away. "You're not interested in being friends remember?"

"If you'd just read my letter you'd understand," I grumbled.

She turned towards me. "What exactly did you write?"

"I said you were right about me liking you for shallow reasons. That's why I want to want to get to know you better." I looked deep into her eye. "And that's what sets me apart from Ryo-san."

"You're nothing like Ryo," she chuckled grimly as she looked away. "You don't have to prove that."

I was about to say more when I noticed a large ugly bruise on the side of her neck. "Oh Natsume-san," I murmured as I reached out to touch it. She flinched at the gentle touch and let her breath out in a low hiss. "What happened to you?" I asked.

"Let's just say things didn't go as planned," she said with a sad smile. I blinked in confusion but she slowly shook her head. "Never mind."

"Please tell me," I insisted.

She shrugged me off. "No."

"Was it Ichiro-san?"

She glared at me. "Shut it kid if you know what's good for you!"

I glared right back. "Will you quit calling me that? I have a name, you know."

"I'll call you what I want!" She growled. "So deal with it!"

My temper flared up and I was about to tell her off when I stopped myself. This was just another act to cover up the truth and I wasn't going to fall for it again. "Why did Ichiro-san hurt you like that?"

She scowled. "I don't want to talk about it."

"But you should," I said firmly. "So please Natsume-san," I urged.

"Look why do you even want to know?"

"Because I'm worried about you!"

She blinked in surprise. "Worried? Why?"

I looked at her in exasperation. "Should I repeat myself or just stamp it on your forehead? I care about you Natsume-san." A side smile tugged at the corner of her mouth and I smiled back. "Come on, spill already."

She looked at me thoughtfully. "No…but thanks for asking. It…" she took a deep breath. "It really means a lot."

I was confused but she did look a little happier. I stood up. "Why don't we head back?" I held out my hand to help her up. She hesitated for a moment and then took it.


	7. Chapter 7: The Flirt

[Natsume's Point of View]

Well tonight completely backfired and it had started out so promisingly too. Surprisingly Ichiro had put in a lot of work for our date and we had a picnic on a secluded part of the beach. The food was delicious though I doubt he actually prepared it himself. Towards the end I declared that I felt hot so I pulled off my t-shirt to reveal my corset underneath. His eyes widened lustfully and he wasted no time in pulling me into his arms to kiss me. His touch was passionate…a little too passionate for my taste. Carried away, he threw me to the ground so hard that I saw stars. He laid on top of me and kissed me so hard that I gagged on his tongue. It was terrible and completely disgusting.

He was a featherweight compared to Ryo so I shoved him off and wiped my mouth. "Enough! I don't want this anymore."

He stared at me dumb-founded. "What are you talking about?"

I stood up and brushed the sand off my clothes as best I could. "It's over Ichiro."

"You can't leave!" He protested but I did just that. I went about ten feet before he made a decision. I heard him growl behind me right before he tackled me to the ground. "Oh no you don't!" He growled as he flipped me onto my back and straddled me. "I've waited for this for far too long! I won't let you leave now!"

His hasty fingers tried to force my corset open. In his eagerness he didn't realized that the ties were on the back, not the front. What an idiot and now I've grown tired of him. I kicked him off. "Knock it off! Look its just not working out anymore ok?"

"No its not!" He snapped as he grabbed a hold of my neck and yanked me in for another wet kiss. "Give yourself to me," he groaned passionately.

"Forget it!" I hissed as I punched him in the stomach.

He let go as he doubled over and fell to his knees. "Girls aren't supposed to hit," he whined as he scowled up at me.

I kicked him in the chest and he fell onto his back. "Is that better?" I asked sarcastically. "If you _ever_ touch me again I'll do worse!"

Then I stormed away and he didn't follow after me this time. I was halfway home when I realized that I had left my shirt behind. Oh well I wasn't about to go back for it but I couldn't return home either. I'd have to wait until everyone had gone to bed. So I sat down on the sand and stared out at the ocean.

My heart broke but it wasn't the same situation it had been with Ryo. I didn't trust Ichiro at all. But I was disappointed that all that work it had backfired on me. Did I make him wait too long or was he just a bad lover? I wrapped my knees around my legs as I sighed. Why do I keep doing this to myself? Why do I waste my time with losers like them? After careful thought I concluded that it's because they're so self-absorbed that I don't have to open my heart to any of them. They didn't want to know me personally so I could easily hide myself. And yet…I craved something more intimate than sex. Could…could it be that I _did_ want to fall in love? I shuddered at the idea. Now who was the idiot? But as impossible as it seemed, part of me did want to experience genuine love. I sighed. Was I just a sucker for punishment? I won't get hurt like Dad did. It's not fair that mom ran off, leaving Dad to suffer the heartache alone. He deserved better than that.

Just then I heard someone gently splashing through the water and I stiffened. Was it Ichiro? There was no time to hide now and I held my breath. Then I recognized Deidara and I sighed with relief. "Oh it's you."

He stopped and looked at me. "Are you alright?" He asked worriedly as he approached.

I probably looked like a mess after rolling around in the sand but I didn't feel like explaining. He sat beside me with concern in his eyes. "Did something happen?"

I ignored him. I couldn't tell him, it wasn't his business anyway. But still he sat there, waiting patiently for me to speak. No one other than Dad and Chieko did that. And when he touched my neck I flinched not just at the pain but at his gentleness. I've never been touched so lightly and it felt so good that I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. Again he wanted to know what was wrong so I provoked his temper to distract him. For some reason it didn't work. He's beginning to see through me and that worries me. Still I won't trust him. I can't afford to. So I said as sincerely as I could, "No…but thanks for asking. It…" I took a deep breath to steady myself. "It really means a lot."

He looked confused but finally let the subject drop. As we silently walked back I thought about what he said. _You were right about me liking you for shallow reasons. That's why I want to want to get to know you better. _I didn't know what to make of that. No one's ever said that to me before. I chanced a glance at him. He was looking at me thoughtfully and I frowned uneasily. "What?" I asked. I didn't like the idea of him trying to figure me out.

"I wish you would trust me."

I grimaced. "That's asking too much. I barely know you."

He gently caught my arm to stop me. "Alright then, let's get started."

I fearfully pulled away. He wasn't going to force himself on me was he? "What are you talking about?"

"Ask me a question. Any question at all." He said seriously, his arms folded across his chest. I just stared at him. "Go on," he prompted. "Let's get to know each other."

"Through questions?" I asked skeptically.

He nodded. "How else? I'll be truthful so go ahead and ask."

"Uh…well…" I stuttered as he waited expectantly. "How old are you?"

"I just turned fifteen last month," he said. "Next question."

"Ok…uh…what's your favorite and least favorite food?"

"I love boiled eggs in surimi but I absolutely hate mixed rice. Next one."

"Now this is just silly," I groaned. "This hardly tells me anything about you."

"Then ask a harder question," he urged.

"When did you lose your virginity?" I smirked, hoping to embarrass him into ending this stupid little game.

He flinched. "I haven't lost it yet," he said seriously, though he did blush a little.

"For real?" I asked in surprise.

He reddened further. "Why should that be so surprising, hm?" I think I insulted his pride.

"You told me you were popular with girls."

He nodded. "I am but that doesn't mean I take advantage of them."

"Really?" I asked softly. There was such sincerity in his eyes and I was speechless. If he was telling the truth I was impressed.

"May I ask you a question?" He ventured cautiously. "Why do you wear an eye patch?"

I gently pressed a hand against it. "I burned my eye when I was about five years old. It was an accident when I helped Dad fire up the kiln."

"Did it happen in Iwagakure?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm originally from Kirigakure."

"Why did you move?" He asked innocently enough but I frowned severely. I didn't want to talk about mom. He quickly apologized. "Its ok, you don't have to answer that, hm. Ok here's an easy one. What is your fav-"

"Look I'm tired. Can we do this some other time?" I groaned.

He nodded. "I hope we do."

I led the way back and he said goodnight before we parted ways. I watched after him as he walked down the corridor. He didn't make any sense at all but was annoyingly sweet in a bizarre sort of way. I took a quick shower before turning in for the night.

The next morning I wore a high-collared shirt to hide my bruise. Hopefully Deidara would keep his mouth shut about that. He didn't mention it at all but Dad did prompt him to tell me about his appointment to the Explosion Corps. It's pretty impressive to think a squirt like him was that powerful but then again he's a shinobi.

"What are you doing today?" Dad asked me.

"Just hanging out with my friends again, why?"

"You should take Deidara-kun along," he suggested.

I glared at him but Deidara nodded eagerly. "That'd be great. I'd like to meet your friends."

I sighed. "I suppose if I _have_ to baby-sit him…"

Now he glared at me and I couldn't help but laugh. It's so easy to rile him up that I just couldn't resist. "Alright kid did you bring a swim suit? We were going to swim today." He shook his head. "All the better then," I grinned as I stood up. "We love any excuse to go shopping."

He made a face but came along anyway. I was worried that my friends would think I was less cool with this tag-along but once they were all introduced I had a different problem. He turned on his flirtatious charm and the girls went crazy over him.

"Oh he's _sooooo_ cute!" Airi gushed as she hugged him close.

"Seriously where have you been hiding him all this time?" Kiyoko asked.

"I…uh…that is…" I didn't know what to say. I was surprised to see how they fawned over him.

"I need your help ladies," he asked innocently as he pretended to look shy. He explained that he needed their help in picking out a swimsuit and all three of them cheered, grabbed a hold of his arms, and dragged him away. I had to run to catch up. I was all but forgotten now. Imagine being upstaged by a kid, how annoying!

They pulled him into a clothing store and he tried on all twenty-five of their suggestions, posing each time to their delight. He didn't look half bad with his shirt off; his toned abs made him look less child-like. By the afternoon we were all suited up and ready to swim. They were still flirting with him and it was beginning to get on my nerves.

"You're jealous, aren't you?" He whispered in my ear when they were distracted by something else.

"You wish," I smirked as I wrapped an arm around his neck and dunked him into the water.

He came up coughing with wet hair over his face. I laughed and dodged his attempt to dunk me. He landed face first into the water but then suddenly I was grabbed from behind. "You're _so_ going down!" He chuckled in my ear just before he pulled me under.

"How'd you do that?" I asked as I came up sputtering.

"I'm a shinobi remember?" He smirked.

I grinned deviously. "Well if you're gonna play dirty, so can I!"

"Bring it on then!" He challenged.

I charged at him but he dodged this way and that. I faked a right and then caught him to the left and wrapped my arms around his neck as I fell on him. He wrapped his arms around my waist as we both fell into the water laughing. By now the other girls wanted to join in so we all just goofed around splashing and dunking each other. He was such a terrible flirt but they weren't any better, especially Airi.

As the sun began to set we decided to call it a day. Airi approached Deidara as he dried his hair with a towel. "Do you have any plans tonight?" She asked coyly.

"I don't think so why?"

She took a step closer with an alluring gaze. "Why don't you come over to my place then?" She said softly as she lazily dragged a finger down his bare chest.

My eye widened. She was _really_ hitting on him now, I couldn't believe it. I hope he says no. I don't know why but I hope he does.

He wore a friendly smile as he pulled back. "Thanks but I can't."

"Why not?" She pouted as she stepped closer. "You just said you had no plans."

"It's not that," he assured her. "There's someone else I like, that's all."

She whined a little but somehow he managed to comfort her without giving into her pleas. In the end they parted on good terms and she, Haruna, and Kiyoko left together. "Are you ready to go?" He asked me.

"Why did you say no?" I blurted out.

"Oh you heard that, hm?" He asked sheepishly. "Well Airi-san is attractive but I'm not interested in her like that."

I considered him for a moment. "You didn't say no because of me, did you?"

"Of course," he said simply as he turned to walk away with his hands in his pockets. "C'mon lets go back. I'm starving, hm."

I fell into step with him but couldn't say anything. I felt uncomfortable and I couldn't explain why. It didn't make sense why he'd turn Airi down just because of me. He might like me but I certainly didn't feel the same way.

"That was a lot of fun," he said in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Your friends are pretty cool."

"Yeah they are," I agreed.

When we got back Dad was grilling kabobs in the courtyard. Deidara had never seen anything like it but it's quite common in Shimizu. Dad showed him how to work the grill and when to flip the kabobs while Chieko and I made more kabobs.

"He is quite handsome, your friend," she winked at me. "He seems quite taken with you too."

I rolled my eyes. "I hope you don't encourage him."

"Of course not," she said seriously. "I would never interfere with your personal life."

"Though perhaps you should when it comes to Dad," I teased.

"Hush your mouth!" She squeaked but we both laughed.

"What's so funny?" Dad asked as he came to collect the next batch of prepared kabobs. Chieko blushed. "Are you feeling ok?" He asked worriedly as he pressed a hand against her forehead and she went scarlet. He frowned. "You're awfully warm. Do you need to lie down?"

"No! I'm perfectly fine, I assure you!" She protested as she waved her hands wildly and accidentally knocked the plate out of his hand. "I'm so sorry sir!" She cried out as she fell to her knees to pick them up. "I'll make more, I promise!"

"Easy now Chieko-san," he assured her as he pulled her to her feet. She stared up at him and so did I. I've never seen Dad look so concerned. "Why don't you rest? I'll take care of this."

He carefully helped her to her seat before kneeling down to pick up the rest. She watched him with flushed cheeks as she rested a hand over her racing heart. It was very sweet of Dad, too bad he didn't know she liked him. Then again Deidara turned down Airi because of me even though I don't like him. I guess that's just the way life goes.

The stars twinkled above when the food was done grilling so we all sat back and star-gazed. Then we just chatted in general and had a few good laughs. It was the perfect end to a fun day.


	8. Chapter 8: Natsume's Distractions

[Deidara's Point of View]

I was surprised the next morning when Natsume was nowhere to be found. However she was considerate enough to leave me a note: _Don't bother looking for me. Entertain yourself today._ I growled as I crumbled up the note and stomped on it angrily. Why would she write something like that after how much fun we had yesterday? She probably wanted to keep me away from her friends. I guess she was jealous after all, even if she'll never bring herself to admit it.

Oh well, I better find something else to do then. I went looking for Masanori; he seemed friendly enough for a quick chat at least. I found him out on the patio relaxing in a deck chair sipping some lemonade. He saw me and gestured for me to pull up a chair. "You missed Natsume this morning huh?"

"No she left me a note," I grumbled a little as I plopped down on the chair.

"She blew you off huh?"

I scowled and folded my arms stubbornly. "More or less, hm."

He chuckled as he poured me a glass of lemonade. Since when was there another glass? Had he been expecting me? "Don't take it personally Deidara-kun. She tends to keep her distance."

"Why is that?" I asked as I took the glass.

He sighed. "Well that's a bit of a long story. And if I were to tell you, you'd have to swear to absolute secrecy. Not that I care personally who you tell but I think Natsume wouldn't want me to share it."

"Then why will you?"

"Because it's my story," he said flatly. "So I have every right."

My brow furrowed slightly. He wasn't making very much sense right now. I kept my mouth shut as he explained. "We're originally from Kirigakure. I was a famous artisan there, well known both through my work and my social connections. I met Natsume's mother in my mid twenties, she was such a little vixen." His tone drifted off a little as his gaze lowered. He wore a sad smile. "Domesticity wasn't really her style. I knew that when I married her. She craved adventure and thrills and I thought I could satisfy that by moving our family around and doing all the crazy things she liked to do. Stuff like rock-climbing, kayaking through rapids, pretty fun stuff really. But in the end none of it was enough so she left."

"She just left, hm?" I asked in surprise.

He nodded. "Ran off with a married man, some employee of mine at the time too if I recall correctly." He sighed as he took another sip. "I took her loss very hard…and sometimes I wonder what more I could have done to make her happy. But hindsight is always twenty/twenty. To tell the truth I think Natsume took it even harder than I did in some respects."

"How so?" I asked, nearly on the edge of my seat.

"She was very close with her Mother. It makes sense since they're both free-spirited. But she felt abandoned and rejected; it's a blow I don't think she's recovered from even after seven years."

"But you have, hm?" I blurted out and then clapped a hand over my mouth. "I'm sorry Masanori-san, I didn't mean to-"

"No it's quite alright," He waved my apology aside. "I've gotten over it. I've had to, you know. Obviously she's not wasting her time thinking about me so why should I do the same for her? That's not to say that getting over her was an easy thing for me. I really suffered…it's the lowest I've ever been. I moved Natsume away from our friends and family, from anything and anyone who reminded me of my wife. Then to make matters worse I drowned my sorrows in alcohol. I was drunk a majority of the time, leaving my young daughter to care for both of us. I'm thoroughly ashamed of myself for it. If I could go back…I would have been more mindful of her heartache too and have been the Father she needed and deserved."

He was quiet for some time and I didn't have the heart to interrupt him. I tried to imagine something like that happening to me, but I couldn't. "Natsume naturally couldn't do it all. It was too much for an eleven year old to handle on her own. So she called for the help of our friend Chieko-san, the housekeeper here. Together they helped me get back on my feet again. And while I've recovered, I don't think Natsume fully has. We're very close; the whole experience bonded us together like nothing ever had before. But the topic as far as her mother is concerned is untouchable. She refuses to talk about her at all. Whether because she worries that I'll relapse or it's truly painful for her, I don't know." He sighed again as he took another sip and gazed out at the ocean view. "Before that time she made friends easily. Now she never seems to bother…and I can't help but feel responsible."

Again he fell quiet and I frowned. "Why are you telling me this Masanori-san?" I asked quietly.

"Because I see the way you look at my daughter," He smirked mischievously at me. Then he laughed as I grew red in the face. "She's is just as beautiful as her mother and has twice as many admirers. But you're different Deidara-kun," he said as he turned to sit towards me, his golden eyes stared into mine. "And it shows just by the way you look at her. You really care about her, inside and out, and if you stand any chance of winning her over you need to know the truth."

I was shocked. Out of all the girls I've crushed on I've never had the dad actually approve of it…let alone try to help me.

He smirked. "You're a good kid Deidara-kun. Just be patient and be yourself, she'll come around eventually."

"Excuse me," Chieko interrupted politely. We turned to see her carrying a tray of food. "Perhaps you would care for a snack?"

"Yes thank you Chieko-san," Masanori smiled broadly at her. There was even a twinkle in his eye. "Are you feeling better now?" He asked as he looked over the different kinds.

She blinked in surprise. "Better? I was never sick."

"Last night you seemed unwell," he gently reminded her as he picked one.

She went bright red and stuttered nervously. "Oh that wasn't…what I mean is…that is to say…" She closed her eyes and put the plate on the table by the lemonade. "If you'll excuse me, I have other matters to attend to." She bowed stiffly and shuffled away as quickly as her kimono would allow.

He sighed dismally as he watched after her. "I sure hope she'll be alright."

"Are you kidding me?" I asked in disbelief. "Dude she's crushing on you!"

"She is?" He asked incredulously.

"Isn't it painfully obvious?" I countered.

He flinched and looked away. "I thought it was just my imagination…wishful thinking on my part…"

Now it was my turn to smirk mischievously. "You like her, don't you?"

He choked on his snack and coughed. "Is it that obvious?"

"I had my suspicions last night but wasn't sure."

He chuckled nervously. "Yeah well I guess I do. But it doesn't matter."

"Why not?"

He shrugged uneasily. "Well I'm much older than her. What could she possibly see in an old guy like me? And she's close with my daughter. I wouldn't ruin that friendship for the world."

"Who's to say it would? And how do you know Natsume wouldn't approve?"

"I'm assuming." He admitted.

"So you're going to ruin a chance for happiness on an assumption that could be wrong?" I frowned in puzzlement. "I didn't think you were chicken."

He burst out laughing. "Well said kid. I guess it wouldn't hurt to take a chance. If you'll excuse me..." He bowed his head as he stood up and left in the same direction that Chieko had. I laughed and shook my head. Then I reclined back in my lounge chair as I ate a few snacks. I thought about what Masanori had just told me. That certainly did explain why Natsume kept her feelings locked tightly away but it didn't explain why she dated jerks like Ryo and Ichiro. I frowned as I tapped my chin in thought but I couldn't think of a reasonable explanation for why an intelligent girl would settle for guys like that.

Well now I was back to being alone and bored. I wasn't going to waste my vacation sitting around the house waiting for Natsume. So despite her note I was going to find her anyway. I stood up, stretched, and set off for town. Shimizu has a bustling marketplace but it didn't seem as chaotic as Iwagakure's. I liked the small homey feel of this place and knew I would really miss it. I recognized a shrill laugh and turned to see Natsume's friends sitting outside a coffee shop. They noticed me and waved me over. I grinned and approached them. "Seriously ladies if I were you I'd be more careful."

Kiyoko cocked her head to the side curiously. "And why's that?"

"Because being that good-looking ought to be a crime." I flirted with a winning smile.

They all giggled and blushed prettily. "Oh you tease," Airi smiled as she reached out to grab my shirt and pulled me closer. She truly was beautiful and it was obvious by her gaze that her offer from yesterday was still an option. I carefully removed her hand. "Have any of you seen Natsume-san?"

Haruna sighed. "Nope, she was a no show this morning."

I frowned at them. "And none of you are worried?"

Kiyoko shook her head as she took a sip. "She does that sometimes."

"We were going to swim again today, wanna come?" Airi asked eagerly.

"Its tempting but I'm afraid I'll have to pass." I said as I drew back. "See you later though."

They said their goodbyes as I walked away. Where was Natsume? I thought for sure she'd be with her friends. I walked all around the small village and found my way back to the beach. By now it was well past noon and I was exhausted. I took off my sandals and stretched out on the beach, letting the sun wash over me. It was hot but felt good too. Just then I heard something on the wind. I sat up and looked around. It was music of some kind; the notes were high pitched but flowed gently. It was very beautiful. Curious, I followed it along the beach. As I walked around the corner I saw Natsume sitting on top of a large rock playing a flute. She suddenly stopped and looked down at me. I smiled and chakra-jumped up to her.

She remained seated and frowned up at me. "I told you not to follow me."

"I didn't," I said as I sat down beside her. "I followed the music."

She smirked. "I see."

"I didn't know you could play the flute. You're pretty good."

She held it out in her hands. "It's a hobby really. Something I like to do when I have to think."

"About an incredibly handsome blue-eyed blonde?" I teased as I gently nudged her.

"Oh yeah," she grinned. "Like that one over there." She pointed at some guy on the beach who matched that description. "Mm, mm, isn't he just drop dead sexy?"

I frowned. "Oh give me a break. I'm way better looking than he is."

She shrugged. "I wouldn't know; I don't generally find friends attractive. And since that's all you want to be..."

"Argh! You're killing me here, hm!" I groaned and she laughed.

"You're so much fun to tease," she said as she tweaked my nose. She smiled warmly and I couldn't help but smile too.

I scooted a little closer to her. "Why aren't you with your friends today?"

"I just didn't feel like it, that's all. And I knew all they'd want to talk about is you anyway."

I smirked. "You're so jealous."

She fidgeted a little. "Of course not," she huffed but her body language said it all.

I didn't want to make her uncomfortable so I changed the subject. "Wanna get something to eat? I'm starving."

She nodded. "Yeah I could eat a little something."

We walked over to a nearby snack shack set up on the beach. We got some popsicles and sat down on the sand to eat them. The icy treat was perfect on a hot day like this. "Hey let's play that question game again." I suggested.

"You were serious then?" She asked in mild surprise. "You really want to get to know me, don't you?"

I nodded as I bit into my orange popsicle.

Suddenly she leaned over and slowly licked the other side of my treat. Then she looked at me seductively as she licked her lips. I shuddered in spite of myself. She drew even closer and kissed me. It was a soft kiss that made my entire body tingle with pleasure. How does she do that? "Why not cut to the chase kid? This is what you want after all, isn't it?"

Of course it was but I knew what she was doing. She's only trying to distract me from getting to know her better. She secretly hoped I'd settle for attraction alone but she was more than a pretty face to me. And despite how amazing it felt I forced myself to gently push her back. She was surprised and I took a deep breath to calm my racing heart. "I want to get to know you Natsume-san."

She considered me thoughtfully for a moment as her expression softened. I think she realized that I was serious and she sat back. "Go ahead and ask," she said softly.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

She wrapped her arms around her legs and hugged them close to her chest as she looked out across the ocean. Her dad had done the same thing earlier; it was almost like they both wished for something more. He hoped for Chieko's love…what did Natsume wish for? "I want to be a famous artist, just like my dad." She was quiet for a moment and I didn't say anything so she continued on. "I love how it feels to create something out of nothing. To turn something drab and ugly like a lump of clay into a work of art. To completely transform it, you know?" She wore a sad smile. "To be in complete control of something…"

Now after hearing about her past I understood a little better. After something that traumatic happened out of her control…it only made sense that she wanted some stability, something she was in control of.

"Now ask me something," I gently prompted her.

She looked at me curiously. "Do you think you could make me another spider?"

"What?" I asked in surprise.

"I left it behind when I escaped Iwagakure," she explained. "I bet it's probably been destroyed by now."

"Uh…yeah," I said. I didn't realize that she had kept it. "I can do that. But that's not a really serious question."

"It's still a question," she smirked. "Your turn again."

"Alright," I groaned. For about an hour or so we just asked questions back and forth. I learned all sorts of things about her, the things she liked and the things she hated. She started to open up to me a little more and her smile grew wider. Eventually we started to ask more personal questions. "Two night ago you talked about impossible dreams," I reminded her. "What was yours?"

She flinched and looked away. "I don't want to share that."

"Why not?" I asked as I scooted a little closer.

"You already asked your question," she teased gently.

"You didn't answer it," I reminded her. "I get to ask another one."

Her smile turned into a smirk. "Oh so now you're changing the rules?"

"It's my game. I make the rules," I teased back.

"Oh really?" She said slyly as she leaned into me and rested her hand against my cheek. "Then I'm playing the wild card."

She kissed me again so temptingly sweet. I gently pushed her back. "Seriously knock it off, will ya?"

"Why should I?" She grinned. I think she likes making me blush like a fool.

"Because you're just trying to distract me, hm." I scowled.

She leaned in again to whisper against my lips. "Or maybe I just like kissing."

I frowned. "That's not why you're doing it."

"Is that right?" She giggled. Her presence over-whelmed me and I was tempted to pull her into my arms and kiss her. Instead I stood up ran into the water. I had to cool off, distract myself, and think of something else. The cool water splashed up in my face as I waded in up to my chest. The next thing I knew she jumped onto my back and we both fell under the surface. I came up sputtering and coughing and she laughed again. "Oh c'mon Mr. Shinobi, you should have seen that one coming!"

"I'm not a mind-reader," I grumbled. Then I blushed fiercely when I realized she was wearing next to nothing. "Are you swimming in your underwear?"

"I'm not about to get my clothes wet," she shrugged as she swam around me. "And besides it's not much different than my bathing suit anyway."

I swallowed nervously. "That's not funny Natsume-san! You can't do that!"

"You'd prefer I skinny dip then?" She teased as she lowered her bra strap.

"NO! NO! NO!" I cried out as I covered my eyes. "C'mon don't tease me like that!"

She lowered my hands as she stared right at me. "Relax kid, it's just us anyway. Now it's my turn to ask a question. Why did you want to be a shinobi?"

"Well nearly everyone in my family is..." I said slowly as I felt terribly self-conscious being this close to her when she was nearly naked. She was right that it wasn't much different than her bathing suit…but knowing it wasn't made a _world_ of difference to me.

She smirked at me as she wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. I turned so red I bet the water was beginning to boil around me. "It's cute to see you try to hold back. But it's all in vain, you know. So give up this stupid little game and do what you've wanted to all along." She kissed me again, soft and lingering.

I couldn't hold back any longer. I wrapped my arms around her waist as I kissed her back. Just this once…I will give in to her. I can't resist her for long, she drives me crazy. In that moment she was my girl, just like I've always wanted. She felt so warm and soft in my arms, her lips tender and sweet. The kiss which started out fast and fierce deliciously slowed down. It was incredible and overpowered my senses. In that moment it was just the two of us connecting so intimately. It felt sooooo heavenly but I had to end it before I completely lost control…and before I proved her right. I broke the kiss and whispered in her ear. "I love you Natsume-san and that's why I had to stop."

I could feel her tremble in my arms. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not going to take advantage of you," I said gently as I stroked the side of her neck with my fingertips. "I hope you trust me when I say that. And even if you never kissed me again, I'd still want to spend every day with you."

"Really?" She asked so softly that I barely heard her.

"Yes," I said as I carefully pried her off of me. She looked at me in complete and utter amazement. "Now it's my turn to ask a question," I grinned as this time I tweaked her nose and she smiled shyly.

It was just after sunset by the time we returned home. Masanori was waiting for us by the front door. He looked gravely serious with his arms folded across his chest. "Natsume I'd like a word with you."

She looked a little nervous but nodded and followed after him.

* * *

A/N: I have now drawn Natsume and highly recommend you check her out on my deviantart page (the link is on my profile page). I'll try to draw her and Deidara together as well as the other characters at some point but right now I am mainly focused on writing.


	9. Chapter 9: Sweet Revenge

[Natsume's Point of View]

I followed after Dad and he didn't say a word. Naturally I started to worry; Dad wasn't _this_ serious that often. It was sure to be bad news. Was it about our house in Iwagakure? Did he found out about Ichiro? My skin crawled as other terrible possibilities sprang to mind. He opened one of the doors and stood back to let me enter first. It was one of the sitting rooms and I took a seat in the closest chair. He didn't sit but paced back and forth in front of me as he wrung his hands nervously. That surprised me and made me worry even more. Dad wasn't the kind to be worried. Occasionally he would stop and try to speak but his expression would crumble and he'd resume pacing again.

"Dad please," I pleaded. "Just tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong," he said firmly as he stopped once again.

I frowned. "Then why are you acting so strangely?"

He heaved a weary sigh as he collapsed into a chair. "I guess there's no easy way to say this so I'll just come right out with it."

I nodded expectantly. "Yes?"

"I want to date Chieko-san!" He blurted out. I stared open-mouthed at him and he panicked as his words came out in a rush. "I'm sure you think it's sudden or that I'm too old for something like that but you see-"

I burst out laughing. "That's wonderful! And about time too!"

Now he stared at me. "You really mean that?"

I nodded. "Of course. She's liked you for years but I figured you didn't feel the same way. So what changed your mind?"

"Deidara-kun actually," he confessed sheepishly. "He said she liked me and well…I guess I've never noticed before."

I cocked my head to the side. "How long have you liked her?"

"For a couple of years but I never would have imagined that she liked me back. I mean what could she possibly see in an old guy like me?"

"You're barely over forty Dad," I giggled. "You're hardly elderly."

"But I'm much older than her," he persisted. "And the younger generation doesn't tend to-"

I stood up, crossed the room, and kissed his forehead. "I'm happy for you Dad…for _both_ of you."

"Are you really ok with this?" He asked worriedly as he caught hold of my arms.

I nodded. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well she's a close friend of yours and I wouldn't want to make things awkward between you-"

"You're both adults and I trust you," I gently teased him with a wink as I pulled away. "Good night Dad." I said as I walked to the door. As I rested my hand on the doorknob I flashed him a devious grin. "Try not to be too loud tonight."

He reddened and jumped to his feet. "Watch your mouth, young lady!"

I just laughed and closed the door behind me. I stuck my hands in my pockets as I walked back to my room. Dad and Chieko together in a romantic sense…I never thought it'd ever happen. Sure it's gonna be a little weird but I'm happy for both of them. The two most important people in my life deserve that. Once inside my room I stripped off my clothes and slipped into some light pajamas. The summer humidity was beginning to get to me.

As I started to climb into bed, I saw a clay spider lying on my pillow. Smiling, I carefully picked it up and looked at it closely. It was every bit as beautiful and delicate as the last one. I thought back fondly to our little game this afternoon. I couldn't resist tempting and teasing him, its fun to make him blush. But he was right; I did have a reason for it. I wanted to prove that his interest in me was still physically based. He was just biding his time, waiting for me to lower my guard before he made his move. Did he really think I couldn't see what he was up to? I've played that game countless times and have it mastered. There's no way a novice like him is going to pull the wool over my eyes.

He resisted admirably but eventually cracked just like I knew he would. The kiss was definitely enjoyable and I waited for him to unfasten my bra. Of course I would have stopped him at that point. But things never got that far. Instead to my surprise he slowed things down and it felt _incredible_. I still felt a tingle run up my spine as I remembered it. It was gentle and tender, unlike anything I had ever experienced before. It was a whole new kind of passion. It was then that I was tempted to take things to the next level. Then he surprised me again by suddenly stopping. _I'm not going to take advantage of you. _His lips tickled my ear and his voice was soothing._ I hope you trust me when I say that. And even if you never kissed me again, I'd still want to spend every day with you._

What was I supposed to say to that? For the first time I really believed him. Then he started up the question game again and carried on like nothing had happened. He had maintained his cool once again. I had been super impressed.

I set the spider on my nightstand and turned off the lights before crawling into bed for the night. I smiled as I hugged the pillow close. If I'm not careful I'm going to fall for that kid. He truly is something.

Early the next morning I was awakened by a light knock at the door. I'm a light sleeper so I immediately woke up. I checked my clock and groaned. Five in the morning? SERIOUSLY? Grumbling, I trudged to the door and cracked it open. I was surprised to see Chieko. She looked an odd mix of ecstatic and anxious. "I'm sorry to intrude but I _must_ speak with you!"

I let her in and she sat on my bed as she wrung her hands nervously. I frowned down at her. "What's going on?"

"I…that is…well you see…" she stuttered.

I rolled my eyes. "Out with it already. I want to go back to bed."

"Your father has asked me to be his girlfriend!" She blurted out. "Now I know that you know how much I've liked him but I don't want this to change anything between us!"

_These two are made for each other_, I thought wryly. I leaned over and hugged her around the neck. "Its ok," I assured her. "We'll still be the best of friends."

She cried tears of joy as she hugged me back. "Thank you Natsume!"

"I'm happy for you two," I said as I sat beside her on the bed. "Really I am. You two are perfect for each other."

She blushed prettily. "Last night, shortly after you came home, he asked me to walk with him into town. I thought it was unusual since it's too late in the day for a stroll but of course I went…"

She went on to tell me how he took her out to dinner, gave her flowers and asked her out as they danced to live music. I had no idea Dad could be romantic and I smiled at how happy she was. Her rosy face just glowed. I've never seen her this happy. And that's saying a lot given how merry she generally is. I was still very tired and couldn't hold back a yawn. She stopped mid-sentence and stood up. "I'm sorry; I guess I got a little carried away."

"I-it's alright," I yawned again. "I just need a little more rest, that's all."

"I understand," She nodded and quietly closed the door behind her. I flopped back against the bed and fell asleep with a silly smile on my face. _Those two are too funny…but it's nice that they're thinking of me in all of this._

I slept in until about ten in the morning. I walked down the corridor towards the kitchens to grab a late breakfast. Then I heard noise coming from the gym. I frowned and drew closer. No one ever used it so who was in there? I opened the door a crack and peeked inside.

Deidara was dressed down to a pair of pants as he went through some kind of training exercise. He was throwing kunai and shuriken into some targets at the back of the room. He threw standing still, while in the middle of a flip, and during a duck and roll. He wasn't perfect but he wasn't bad either. I thought back to when he easily defeated Ryo. I never would have imagined Deidara was strong enough to take him down. I guess that's a shinobi for you.

Suddenly a kunai struck the ground right in front of my feet. So he'd caught me spying on him. I quickly closed the door and hurried away as my cheeks burned with shame. He called after me but I didn't turn around. I didn't want to explain myself so I didn't bother. Down in the kitchens the staff was buzzing with gossip about Dad and Chieko being an item. Some were genuinely happy for her while others thought she was only after Dad for his money. Of course they asked me tons of questions but I claimed ignorance and remained indifferent. I don't have to explain anything to them. What do their ignorant opinions matter anyway?

I ate my fill and decided to hang out with my friends today. Why not? And if I was lucky I'd escape before Deidara discovered I had left. I didn't think I could stomach the four of them together. No such luck though, as soon as I stepped outside he jumped down from a second floor window. "Trying to leave without me again, hm?" He smirked.

I folded my arms across my chest and frowned at him. "So you're keeping an eye on me now?"

"I wouldn't have to if you'd just tell me what you're up to," he winked. "So spill already. What are we going to do today?"

I sighed. "I suppose if I don't tell you, you'll follow me anyway?"

"Absolutely," he laughed.

"Very well," I groaned as I walked down the stairs and he followed after me. "I was going to hang out with my friends today."

"That sounds like fun. I'll be sure to tone down the flirting since it bothers you," he assured me.

I frowned again. "I never said it did. Do whatever you want."

He didn't say anything and before long we found my friends. They greeted me but went crazy over Deidara again. It's insane how they've all fallen for him. He's just a kid, they ought to feel ashamed. Kiyoko mentioned the idea of scuba diving and everyone got excited when Deidara admitted that he'd never done it before.

"We'll have to remedy that," Airi said as she linked arms with him as we walked down to the beach to rent the gear. "You city kids miss out on all the fun."

"I couldn't agree more. I hope that you'll show me what else I've been missing out on too." He grinned at back at her and she giggled.

I frowned at them and then was startled by Kiyoko's gentle nudge in my side. "Seriously is anything going between you and Deidara-kun?"

"Of course not," I huffed. "What made you think that?"

"Well he's staying at your place isn't he? And he does seem partial to you…" She trailed off meaningfully.

"He's the son of Dad's best friend in Iwagakure," I quickly explained. "He's on his way to Yamato but stopped by for a short visit."

Airi over-heard the last part of that. "Why are you going to Yamato?" She asked Deidara curiously.

"I'll be under-going some specialized training for the Explosion Corps," he said proudly.

Her eyes lit up. "You're a shinobi? Oh wow!" She gushed and he practically preened as she went on and on about how amazing shinobi where. "I should have known all along, seeing as how strong you are," she flirted as she gently squeezed his bicep.

Deidara flashed me a challenging look. Almost like he dared me to stop him. I narrowed my eye at him. He won't get the best of me. "Hey Airi," I said as I linked elbows with her on the other side. "Deidara-kun was just telling me the other day how much he'd like to hang out with you one on one."

Her face lit up but he went considerably pale.

"Seriously?" She asked eagerly.

Now he glared at me. _Don't you dare_, he mouthed at me and I smirked at him. "Of course," I told her. "So why don't you two rent your own boat? I'm sure you both will have _plenty_ to talk about."

She cried out for joy and dragged him away before he could think of an excuse. He threw a dirty look at me over his shoulder and I waved goodbye with a laugh.

"I can't help but think he didn't say that," Haruna said suspiciously.

"Of course he didn't," I said as I led the way now. "But he'll get over it."

The three of us rented a motorized boat and scuba gear. Kiyoko was experienced with boating so she easily handled the controls and steered the boat close to a coral reef. The anchor was dropped and as we pulled on our gear I told them about Dad and Chieko. They knew Chieko well since she lived here and they were very excited about the news.

"So does that mean you'll be staying in Shimizu permanently then?" Kiyoko asked.

I hesitated for a moment. Naturally Dad would be more inclined to stay so he could be closer to Chieko. I didn't imagine she'd want to move to the big city. I smiled widely. "I really hope so."

We fell overboard and spent the afternoon scuba diving. It was a lot of fun and we never did see Deidara and Airi. In retrospect I felt a little bad. But he bated me so he had it coming. And besides I'm sure he'll find a way to escape discreetly. After all he is a shinobi; it should come naturally to him. Then I froze for a moment. What if he doesn't leave and ends up falling for her? I grinned. Either way I'll win! He'll leave me be and forget this stupid crush. And yet…part of me was going to miss that kiss. It hurt to think of him sharing that with Airi instead. I forced myself to think of something else. There's no sense in getting attached to Deidara. He means nothing to me.

We returned the boat just before sunset and went to grab a bite to eat for dinner. We goofed off and then randomly decided to catch a late-night movie at the cinema too. I considered going home to see if Deidara made it back but I caught myself. I wasn't his babysitter and I wasn't responsible for him.

It was midnight by the time we parted ways. I walked home alone and the moon was full overhead as the stars sparkled from the heavens. I stopped to admire the beautiful sight. It wasn't like this in Iwagakure. The lights and slightly smoky atmosphere cloud the sky, always hiding a sight like this. Just then I heard Airi's giggle echo from a nearby alleyway. "Oh you devil!" She said as she gasped in pleasure.

My eyes widened in surprise and I drew closer to peek around the corner. I didn't mean to spy but my curiosity got the best of me again. I saw her in the arms of someone who looked an awful lot like Deidara. It was hard to tell in the darkness of the alley and his back was to me as they kissed passionately. But who else could it have been? I quickly turned on my heel and hurried away. So it worked out for them then huh? Well good for them and good riddance too. But why did it hurt to see them together? Why did it bother me? I growled as I started to run. I can't wait until he leaves for Yamato in a couple of days. He never should have come here in the first place.

The house was quiet since everyone had gone to bed by now. But I still slammed my bedroom door so hard that the entire doorframe trembled on its hinges.

"What are you so angry about? If anyone has a right to be upset, it should be me."

I was so startled by the familiar voice that I screamed. I quickly switched on the light and was floored to see Deidara lying on my bed with his hands resting behind his head. I stared at him open-mouthed.

He sat up and scowled at me. "That was super mean of you earlier. Uncalled for too. What did I ever do to deserve that, hm?"

I looked over my shoulder and then back at him. "How did you get here so fast?"

"I've been here for a couple of hours," he said as he lazily stretched.

"That's impossible!" I protested. "I just saw you making out with Airi like five minutes ago!"

He frowned. "Well it wasn't me. I ditched her after about an hour. I couldn't take anymore."

Perhaps against my better judgment I believed him. Feeling over-whelmed, I leaned back against the door and wearily slid down to sit on the floor. I felt incredibly relieved and rested a trembling hand over my tired eyes.

"Hey are you feeling alright?" He asked as he crouched down in front of me. I gently swatted away his hand that tried to rest on my shoulder.

"It's just that I thought…" I trailed off but I couldn't finish the sentence. I couldn't bring myself to.

"Listen," he said gently and I looked up at him. He wore a sympathetic smile. "No matter what crap you pull, it'll never change the way I feel about you. I love you Natsume-san and I mean that. I'm not about to be swayed by some girl with a pretty face."

"So you think she's attractive?" I asked as I forced a smile. I wanted to lighten the air a little.

"You know what I mean," he insisted as he looked at me seriously.

I looked at him thoughtfully. His blue eyes were soft and affectionate, a pleasant smile tugged at his lips, and his blonde hair framed his face just right. He wasn't my usual type but still handsome in his own way. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a pair of tickets and held them up for me to see. "Tomorrow. The carnival. Just the two of us."

I frowned at his presumption. "Thanks for asking me," I said sarcastically.

He smirked as he held my ticket out to me. "Think of it as payback for earlier. You owe me big time."

I wore a wry side smile as I took the offered ticket. "Yes, I suppose so."

"So it's settled then," he said as he stood up and crossed the room to open the window. He climbed up onto the window sill and winked at me. "Good night and sleep tight Natsume-san."

I managed a wave and he slipped out the window, probably to return to his room on the same floor. Sure was a weird way to go though. I looked down at the ticket in my hand and smiled. A carnival? This could be fun.


	10. Chapter 10: The Carnival

[Deidara's Point of View]

As I lay awake during the night, too excited about tomorrow to be tired, I thought about how strangely Natsume had been acting tonight. Why would she be angry about me hooking up with Airi? She had come on pretty strongly and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted just a little. I loved the attention she gave me…but it was also shallow and air-headed. It lacked the witty bite that Natsume had. I wouldn't settle for less so I had to leave before I lost my patience completely and hurt her feelings. Granted I probably did when I ditched her but it was better than exploding at her angrily. Wait a minute I'm getting sidetracked. I was thinking about Natsume remember?

First she was angry and then she was relieved. But why? It didn't make sense unless…a wide grin spread across my face. She must be crazy about me! Mad in love just like the movies! So I better make my move tomorrow and make it official. Naturally at that point I couldn't sleep anymore so I got out of bed. I had to make my plan of attack (so to speak), knowing her she's gonna try to distract me. But I'm a shinobi, we don't get distracted.

Around dawn I took a shower, dried my hair, and rummaged through my clothes for something to wear. Normally I don't really care what it is but this time I wanted to make a statement. I tried on several outfits and posed in the full-length mirror as I strutted my awesomeness, flashed sexy smiles, and practiced new pick-up lines. I knew she had a thing for bad boys so I settled on a pair of long black shorts with chains attached to the pockets, a slimming black tank top and black and white arm warmers. I looked soooo bad! There was no way she'd be able to resist me now.

Completely starving, I went down to the dining room for breakfast. Natsume wasn't there yet. She tends to sleep in, I think. Chieko and Masanori were there, she was sitting on his lap with her arms around his neck. They giggled and whispered to each other like teenagers. It was a weird sight given their age, but pretty sweet at the same time.

"Ah good morning Deidara-kun!" Masanori called out cheerfully as I helped myself to the food set out on the table. I nodded in greeting with a smile.

Chieko blushed modestly as she started to climb off his lap. She was probably embarrassed to be caught being so intimate. Masanori wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her cheek. "You don't have to go just yet, stay a little longer."

"But surely…" She looked at me warily.

"I don't mind," I waved her concern aside.

"Any progress with Natsume yesterday?" He winked conspiratorially.

I smirked as I remembered that sexy kiss in the ocean yesterday. I hope to score another one of those today too. But I could hardly share that; he'd probably kill me if he knew. "A little more, we're going to the carnival in town today."

"Oh that should be fun," he nodded.

I was halfway through my meal when Natsume finally entered the room. Surprisingly she was dressed in sweatpants and a wrinkled t-shirt. Her hair was mussed up and lazily pulled back and she wasn't wearing any make-up. Still she looked as fabulous as ever, seriously I don't think she could ever look bad. My heart raced when our eyes met. She silently looked me over and I flashed her a winning smile as I causally flipped my hair over my shoulder. She was welcome to look at me all she wanted.

"I didn't take you for a goth," she said simply as she turned away to get breakfast.

I glared at her, red in the face. "This isn't goth, hm!"

"Eh close enough," she shrugged as she took a seat on the other side of the table. She looked over at her dad and grinned deviously at them. "Look at you two love birds."

"Natsume!" Chieko blushed as she covered her face.

"You're super cute together," her friend reassured her. "So does that mean we'll live here permanently?"

I dropped my chopsticks and stared at her. No! She can't live here! I wouldn't be able to see her that often if she did!

Thankfully Masanori shook his head. "No, I still have a business to run in Iwagakure."

"But what about Chieko?" She protested

"I'll be joining you once I find a suitable replacement for me," Chieko said. "Besides I have friends in Iwagakure that I've been meaning to visit for years. This would be the perfect opportunity."

Natsume looked crushed and turned gloomily back to her meal.

"Surely Iwagakure isn't that bad," I frowned.

"I never said it was," she said looking up at me. "But it's nothing like this place."

"Alright you've got me there," I confessed. "I'm really gonna miss it when I leave."

"That reminds me," Masanori said as he turned towards me. "Your dad sent me money to get you some things that you'll need for training. Why don't we plan on doing that tomorrow?"

"Sure why not?" I shrugged.

"How long will you be gone for?" Natsume asked curiously.

"I doubt the shopping will take more than an hour or two," I teased with a wink.

She groaned as she rolled her eyes. "C'mon you know what I meant."

"About a year."

She was surprised and her eye went impossibly wide. "For real? But why?"

"It's a very dangerous technique to perfect," I said as I took another bite. "One wrong hand sign or the wrong amount of chakra applied and I'd blow to smithereens."

"You don't look very worried about that," she said in exasperation.

"I'm not," I said confidentially though my hand trembled ever so slightly. "Because I know I can do it." She looked at me thoughtfully with a frown but didn't say anything. I bristled at her lack of belief in me. "You think I can't, hm?" I challenged.

"Overconfidence is nothing more than pure recklessness," she said as she looked shrewdly at me. "There's nothing wrong with admitting that you're a little scared. It doesn't make you a coward, it makes you human. I know you Shinobi go on and on about being big and brave but deep down you're only human."

"Don't make light of his skills Natsume," Masanori scolded gently.

"I wasn't," she said as she wiped her mouth with her napkin and stood up. "But I'd hate to see him get blown up because he's being an idiot with an ego."

I reddened with shame but bit my tongue to keep from losing my temper. I didn't want to start our date off being angry. She noticed anyway and wore a soft smile as she approached me and rested a hand on the back of my chair. "Don't take it the wrong way kid. I wasn't trying to bruise your pride. I just want you to return in one piece."

"So you're worried about me then?" I asked teasingly.

"Don't flatter yourself," she smirked as she tweaked my ear and I winced painfully. "So you ready to do this thing then?"

"Of course," I said as I sprang out of my seat.

We said goodbye to Masanori and Chieko and left the dining room side by side. We silently walked out the front door and down the stairs. As we walked into town, she finally spoke. "By the way, I owe you a thank you."

"For what?"

"For your role in getting Dad and Chieko together," she said as she looked at me gratefully. "If it hadn't been for you they'd probably still be only dreaming of each other."

"It wasn't hard," I shrugged but inwardly I glowed at her compliment. "You could have done it."

She shook her head. "No, I'd never do that." I looked at her in surprise and she wore a rueful smile. "I've always known that Chieko loved Dad. They were childhood friends, but she still supported him when he wanted to marry Mom." Her voice faltered at the mention of her mom but she pushed past it. "They've always been friends but I didn't think Dad felt the same way about her. I wasn't going to intervene. If it was going to work out, it would happen naturally. I wasn't going to be a part of it."

I thought about that for a moment. "So does that mean you secretly don't approve?"

She laughed and shook her head. "Not at all. I just don't think it's my place to play matchmaker. Adults don't like to be set up anymore more than teenagers do."

I nodded. That made sense. As we walked on, we saw lots of other people on their way to the carnival too. I worried that we might run into her friends but thankfully they were no where to be seen. At the entrance I handed over our tickets. Once inside we looked around at the spectacle before us. There were all sorts of rides, game booths, concession stands, balloons; a smorgasbord of festivity. "So what do you want to do first?" I asked.

She tapped the side of her chin in thought. "Well let's see…" Then her eyes lit up and she pointed up ahead at a fun house. "That one!"

My shoulders dropped down a little. I thought for sure she'd be a roller coaster girl. This kind of thing is just plain dull. Still she eagerly grabbed my hand and dragged me towards it. If it made her happy, it was enough for me. There were funny mirrors that distorted our reflections and we took turns laughing at each other. She pointed at one that made my head look huge. "Ah so at last your ego is shown."

I made a face at her but then pointed at another one. "Look at that one!" I cried out in mock wonder. She turned to look into a regular mirror that softened the edges a bit with a nice glow to it. I came up close behind her and rested my hands on her upper arms. "A true angel," I murmured in her ear. She silently looked at us in the mirror. Her expression softened and then she looked over her shoulder at me. Our lips were just an inch away and the moment begged for closure. I leaned in to kiss her lightly. Her lips tasted so very sweet and I longed for more. Sadly she pulled away with a smile and hurried to the next section of the fun house.

I followed after her into a large room that looked like some kind of obstacle course. I went down a flight of stairs that suddenly flattened so I fell and slid down until they re-emerged as stairs again and I was thrown off. I regained my footing quickly but Natsume still laughed. I reddened in embarrassment. "I thought this was supposed to be a fun house, hm," I grumbled. "Where was the fun in that?"

"Oh c'mon lighten up," She grinned from ear to ear.

Then suddenly she fell through a hole that just opened up. I reached out for her but it closed up as quickly as it had opened. "Natsume-san!" I cried out as I tried to force it open. It wouldn't so I pounded it with my fist.

I put my ear to the hole and could hear her laughing. Then the hole opened up again and I fell through it head first. I didn't quite land but rolled around and around this…well…whatever it was. I couldn't quite see where we were but it seemed like a giant tube that just rolled continuously. She grabbed a hold of my hand and we spun together and laughed as we jostled and bumped into each other. Eventually it slowed to a stop and we lay there trying to catch our breath. Side by side and hand in hand. She sat up first and rubbed her eyes. "Wow that was fun! There's the exit; it looks like we got out early."

She crawled out of the tube and I followed. She was right, there was a door marked exit and we stepped outside. "Ok you pick the next thing," she offered.

This time I chose a roller coaster ride. For the rest of the morning it continued on like this, each taking turns for different things. We went on all kinds of rides, both slow and fast, and tried several of the games. We probably got a little too competitive with that but we won lots of prizes. There was also a subtle game going on between us as well. I kept trying to make my move and she kept turning it around on me. It wasn't that she wasn't interested in me; she just seems to get a kick out of making me blush. Like when I bought us lunch I purposefully only got one pair of chopsticks. When she remarked on that I pretended to be surprised and then shrugged it off. "I guess we'll have to share then."

"I suppose we'll have to," She agreed as she took the chopsticks from my hand and feed me a piece. I was a little disappointed as I chewed. I had been hoping to feed her. Then she suddenly pulled me in for a deep kiss. I nearly jumped out of my skin and would have fallen out my seat if she hadn't been holding onto my face. Then just as suddenly she let go and sat back as she chewed. Wait a minute…I moved my tongue around my mouth. It was empty now. "Hey!" I protested as I pointed accusingly at her and she just laughed and swallowed.

Other times that afternoon I would manage to get her in my arms. I tried to be sensitive of her reaction. The last thing I wanted her to think was that I was trying to seduce her. She'd lean into me with a soft kiss and when I was distracted she'd tie the chains on my shorts to some nearby fence or pole. I wouldn't know until she hurried away with a laugh. It was a little annoying but only made me want to try harder. But sadly towards the end of day I wasn't any closer than I had been this morning.

And then we walked into _him._

He was just a random passerby to me but Natsume stood absolutely still as she stared at him. He bowed his head in mock respect as he looked her over. "You look nothing like the vixen I met at that party. You've fallen far without me, haven't you?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Far from it Ichiro."

I stiffened at this. So this was the guy who hurt her. Somehow I wasn't surprised to see that he resembled Ryo: tall, dark-haired, handsome, and a complete jerk. Is there a theme here?

He completely ignored me as he took a step closer to her. "Admit it, you've missed me."

She smirked as she folded her arms across her chest. "You'd like to think that wouldn't you?"

"Now don't be that way baby," He reached out to touch her cheek and I caught him by the wrist and glared fiercely. He looked me up and down. "And who are you?"

"Her date," I said through gritted teeth.

He laughed in my face. "This is supposed to be my replacement? This little brat?" His gaze returned to her again. "That's pathetic. Why would you settle for a boy when what you need is a man?" She didn't say anything but I could tell she was furious. He looked back at me again as he pulled back. "A word of advice kid. Don't be fooled by her beauty, she can't put out at all."

I slammed my fist into his face and knocked him off his feet. Natsume squeaked in surprise and I knelt over him as I grabbed a hold of his shirt and raised my fist again. "Shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you! I wouldn't dream of taking advantage of her! Guys like you who are only after one thing make me sick! So show some respect and apologize for what you did to her!"

A crowd began to surround us and he scowled at me. "I'd rather die."

"That can be arranged!" I punched him again, this time in the stomach so hard that he coughed up blood. "Now say it!" I demanded.

"I'm sorry!" He choked out.

I kicked him aside and took Natsume's hand and led her away before I was tempted to pummel him. The crowd fairly jumped out of our way and we left the carnival altogether. The fun mood was gone and now that my temper had subsided I felt guilty for ruining that. I stopped and turned to face her. I opened my mouth to apologize but she threw herself into my arms and hugged me tightly. "Thanks for defending me," her voice trembled in my ear. "You didn't have to."

I hugged her back, enjoying how she felt in my arms. I gently stroked her hair and her cheek felt warm against mine. "Of course I did. You're someone worth defending," I whispered back.

I held her like that for a while until she at last pulled away. "Why don't we go for a swim before we go home?"

I nodded and this time she took my hand and led the way. The sun was just setting by the time we arrived and the beach was surprisingly deserted. But maybe that was because it was the carnivals opening day and everyone was there. The breeze from the ocean was warm and salty as I sat down in the sand to remove my sandals and shirt. Unsurprisingly she stripped down to her underwear again. I lowered my gaze modestly as we swam out together. We splashed and dunked each other and had a general good time. I noticed though that there was a gleam in her eye and her face radiated with happiness. Why the change? Was it because I defended her? It wasn't that impressive.

As it grew darker she drew closer and wrapped her arms around my neck. "Thanks for today kid, I had a great time."

I smiled as I cautiously wrapped my arms around her waist. My fingertips were delighted to feel her bare skin. "So did I," I said softly as I leaned in to kiss her.

This time she didn't shy away and kissed me back. She leaned into me and I felt her curves pressed against me. My senses screamed for more as my hands gripped her tightly. I struggled to control myself but her eager touch in return wasn't really helping things. The kiss quickly grew more passionate and I broke it before I completely lost control. "I won't take advantage of you," I panted softly.

"But you're not," she whispered in the corner of my mouth. "So don't worry about it." She took my hand and rested it against the clasp of her bra. I looked at her nervously as her gaze was tempting. "Go ahead."

My cheeks reddened again and my fingers trembled. I couldn't bring myself to undo it no matter how much I wanted to. She giggled softly at my panic and unfastened it with a satisfying click. Now relaxed, the straps started to slide down her soft shoulders. My heartbeat faster as her bra slid off altogether. I closed my eyes with pleasure as her chest pressed against mine once again. I felt light-headed as her softness, her warmth, her incredibly sexy essence threatened to over-whelm me. This was really happening. The two of us alone in the ocean and about to make love. My heart pounded loudly in my ears and I groaned as she hooked her thumbs into the waistband of my shorts. She started to pull them down when my heightened sense of euphoria overcame me and I fainted dead away.


	11. Chapter 11: Welcome Home

[Natsume's Point of View]

I can't believe he fainted, actually fainted. How anti-climatic. He sank down into the water, air bubbling up in his wake. I quickly grabbed him and dragged him back to shore. I tried to wake him up but he was out cold. I sat beside him on the beach and laughed at the absurdity of this. Well there wasn't anything to be done but to go home. I quickly dressed, gathered up our prizes, and slung him over my shoulder. He was pretty heavy, but no heavier than some of the things I had to carry around in the studio.

One of the staff greeted me at the door and he informed me that Dad and Chieko were out for the night. He then carried Deidara back to his room to change him out of his wet clothes. I went to my own room and dumped my share of the prizes onto my desk. Then I quickly showered to warm up and dressed into my pajamas. My hands lingered at the button over my breast as I realized how close I had come to giving myself to Deidara.

At the time it had felt so natural but now I wondered why I had done that. All day I had played hard to get, not only to tease him a little but to not encourage him either. But there were moments when I couldn't resist him. Like that time with the mirror, he looked at me like I was the most beautiful girl he'd even seen. Even when I had gone out of my way to look like a complete mess. How very strange. Then he defended me to Ichiro and made him apologize. Of course it wasn't genuine if it had to be forced out, but I was very touched that Deidara wanted him to. Like he thought my honor was worth defending. I was so grateful to him and was determined to reward him. Then he up and faints! Too funny.

As I crawled into bed and snuggled under the blankets I realized something else. Deidara's reaction was very fitting. Of course he was going to pass out. He's still a child, perfectly innocent and inexperienced. Suddenly I felt terribly sick to my stomach. What was I thinking? What kind of sick-o was I to even think of seducing him? I was just taking advantage of his feelings for me and that was wrong. He's my friend and I respect him. It'd be terrible for him to lose his virginity to a girl who didn't feel the same way about him. As awkward as it will be tomorrow, I'm going to apologize. He deserves that.

I fell into a troubled sleep and was wakened early in the morning by a door slamming. I could hear Deidara cursing aloud in frustration just before he knocked on my door. At first I ignored him but his knocks grew persistent. "Please Natsume-san," he pleaded. "I need to talk to you."

At last I opened the door a crack. "What is it?" I grumbled.

"Can I come in?" He asked and I stepped aside to let him in. He paced the room back and forth as he nervously wrung his hands. I frowned at him and he stopped and took my hands in his. "Did it really happen, hm?"

"Did _what_ happen?"

"Last night at the beach," he pressed. "Did we make out? Were we about to…" he trailed off meaningfully.

I hesitated for a moment as it dawned on me. He worried that it had been just a dream. And rightly so, fainting does tend to leave you a little disoriented. So now he was asking for confirmation of what had really happened. His hopeful face looked so youthful…he was still very young and impressionable. I realized that now I had two options, both of which would hurt him. (1) Say yes only to dash his hopes later by apologizing and back-tracking or (2) Save his pride and avoid the awkwardness of it all by denying it altogether. I took a deep breath as I opted for the less painful one. "No, nothing happened."

He looked crushed but I remained impassive as I held back my regret. This was for his sake and for the sake of our friendship. If it had happened then we couldn't be friends anymore; that was just the reality of it. He's not ready to be with a girl like me and I'm not about to bring him down to my level. "Are you sure?" He asked quietly. The heartbreak on his face was a terrible sight to behold.

I nodded. "I am. Why do you ask?"

He let go my hands as he lowered his gaze. It broke my heart to see him this depressed. Still, it was for the best and that knowledge gave me the courage to keep pretending. "No reason," he mumbled as he walked away. "I'm sorry to have bothered you."

I nearly called him back but kept my mouth shut as he silently left the room. Tears welled up in my eyes as I sat on my bed. "I'm sorry Deidara," I whispered to myself. "I'm so very sorry." I lay back down and cried softly into my pillow. Why had I been so reckless? It almost ruined the one genuine friendship I had. As I drifted back to sleep I promised I'd never again compromise that. Deidara is special to me and I don't want to lose him.

By the time I woke up for the second time Deidara had left with Dad to do some shopping. He was leaving for Yamato tomorrow; suddenly him being gone for a year didn't sound so bad. Time and distance will probably ease the awkwardness I felt right now. Not interested in waiting around for him to get back, I left on my own. I did my own thing for the day to cheer myself up, including playing the flute as I looked out over the horizon. Something about music is very comforting to me. It soothes my soul and lifts my spirits…even if it's something mom had taught me to play. I closed my eyes as I lost myself to the gentle rise and fall of the melody that matched the sound of waves breaking against the shore. It was perfect harmony.

As the sun slipped down out of sight I decided it was time to go home. As I approached the main doors I heard something touch down behind me. I didn't have to turn around to know it was Deidara.

His hand gently squeeze my forearm. "Where have you been, hm?"

I giggled softly as I looked at him over my shoulder. "You know, here and there. So did you get the stuff you need for tomorrow?"

He nodded. "I did that hours ago. I was hoping we could hang out one last time. I have to leave early in the morning."

"So soon?" I asked sadly. I thought he was supposed to leave later in the day. Now I regretted avoiding him for so long.

"Yeah so what do you say we live it up for one more night?" He grinned.

I wore a small side smile. "If it's all the same to you…I'd rather do something nice and quiet for a change."

He considered this for a moment and then nodded. "That works too."

After getting a quick bite to eat, we walked along the beach. Eventually we sat down and watched the gentle ebb and flow of the waves that crashed against the shore. He stretched out on his back with his hands behind his head. I lay by his side and together we looked up at the stars.

"I'm really going to miss this place," he sighed as he turned his head towards me. His reached out for my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. I was tempted to pull away but I liked how it felt. "I'm really glad I could come. It's been a lot of fun."

I nodded with a smile. "Yeah it has. It's been nice to spend time with a friend."

I hoped he caught that. He had to know where I stood on our relationship. We were friends, nothing more. His gaze softened as he rolled onto his side. I held still as he leaned in closer. "What are you doing?" I asked hesitantly.

"I'm giving you a friendly kiss," he whispered just before he kissed me.

I giggled as I gently pushed him back. "You're such a flirt."

He grinned. "I couldn't resist."

We both laughed and then decided to play the question game again. It was well past midnight when we returned to the house. The next morning Chieko had the staff prepare a large breakfast as well as a sack lunch for Deidara. He thanked her gratefully and did the same to Dad.

"Take care Deidara-kun," he clapped a large hand on his shoulder. "Be sure to keep in touch eh?"

He nodded and then turned towards me. Awkward silence stretched between us. I didn't know what to do and besides it wasn't like we wouldn't see each other again. I gave him a big hug. "Don't blow up out there."

He chuckled as he hugged me back. "You know I won't, hm. I'll be back before you know it."

I was reluctant to let go and so was he. I closed my eyes as I wanted to remember this moment…just in case anything else changed between now and then. I wanted to remember this feeling….this very special friendship of ours. He gently kissed my cheek just before he pulled away. "Good-bye Natsume-san. Now you have to promise me something."

I nodded. "Anything."

"That you'll not only _read_ my letters but _write _some in return," he smirked.

I laughed as I tweaked his nose. "I promise."

And with that he turned on his heel and followed a staff member out to the carriage. He winked at me just as he passed through the door for the last time. I was tempted to follow after him and watch his ride disappear into the distance. But there was no need for that. It would only make the goodbye that much more painful. Dad looked pretty smug when I met his gaze. "What?" I asked.

"You're going to miss him, aren't you?" He gently teased.

"Of course I will," I said as I walked past him. "He's my best friend after all."

For a couple of days it felt weird to not have Deidara following me around. Every time I heard a door open or saw a shadow pass I expected to see him. Of course he wasn't there and soon I got back into my usual routine. My friends very much missed him and lamented that they didn't get to spend more time with him.

"Will he ever come back?" Airi asked. I shook my head. By this time they knew that I wouldn't be living here permanently. She pouted as she folded her arms stubbornly across her chest. "It's not fair! You'll get to see him all the time in Iwagakure when you get back."

"He'll be training for at least a year," I reassured her. "But tell you what? I'll give you his address and you can write to him. Maybe you can convince him to visit again."

She eagerly accepted it and in Deidara's next letter he complained about it. _Why did you give her my address? _He whined. _She's sent me a letter every day written on neon pink paper that reeks of cheap perfume. Why don't you write that often? I'd much rather hear from you instead._

He wrote about once a week, impressive considering I only wrote about twice a month. Sometimes his letters were about the rigors of training and of his friendship with a guy named Gari. Other times his letters were more affectionate. I never responded to that part of his letter whenever I wrote back but I secretly liked to read them. They were very flattering even if largely exaggerated. I'm nothing like the girl he wrote about with such poetic imagery. I wish I was though.

After five months Dad received a letter from Tamotsu that it was safe to return to Iwagakure. I was sad but Dad was beyond excited. He wanted to leave right then and there but I begged for one last day. Chieko had already found her replacement so she came along as well. She made for good company, making the stress and annoyance of travel as light as she could. Once a hostess always a hostess I suppose.

Still a little wary, Dad insisted we enter the city in the dead of night. Tamotsu was waiting for us at the house. It looked so amazing that I hardly recognized it. I thanked him for everything he had done for us. He smiled down at me, his eyes crinkled at the corners. "It was no trouble at all Natsume-chan. I was glad to be of assistance. Now if you have any further trouble please don't hesitate to tell me."

He was such a gentle, kind soul. I wonder where Deidara gets his spunkiness from. Sadly Chieko didn't live with us. Her sense of propriety was pretty firm about that. She lived with her sister, a bitter and cynical snip of a woman. Her and Dad went out often but he stubbornly set a strict curfew for me that just about eliminated my social life.

"Don't you think you're over-reacting?" I grumbled. "Tamotsu-san said it was safe remember?"

"There's no use arguing about it," he grinned as he kissed my forehead. "I'm you're father and as such will set limitations that are for your protection."

Perhaps it was for the best; occasionally I did get suspicious and scornful looks from passer-by. I heard that Ryo and his wife were expecting their first child. Good for them, maybe now he'll be satisfied with his wife. I hadn't seen him yet but always worried that I would. Back when we dated I never ran across him, seeing him in that restaurant that one time had been a fluke. He always had a way of finding me no matter where I was. I really hoped those days were genuinely behind me now.

I kept myself busy working at Dad's shop and even entered a few local pottery competitions. Determined to really stand out I asked Tamotsu for some advice. His style was more unique than Dad's and I worried that he would be too busy or secretive of his techniques to share them. Far from it, he gladly accepted and even offered an apprenticeship. Once again he was very generous. "Really you don't have to do this for my Dad's sake," I insisted. "You'll still get the discount at the store."

He laughed as he shook his head. "I'm not doing this for your father's sake. I'm doing this for Deidara."

I blinked in surprise. "How do you mean?"

"He's told me all about you and I daresay he's got a little crush on you too," he winked, finally revealing the hint of mischief that Deidara has.

I scowled and was terribly embarrassment. "He's deluding himself then. There's nothing going on between us."

Tamotsu kindly let the subject drop with a shrug of his shoulders. Now everyday from 3-5pm I come for lessons. Sometimes he teaches and other times I help him with his own commissions. He was a fantastic mentor, the kind who motivates without judging and guides without condemnation. "You have a gift Natsume-chan," he praised once. "You have the insight and knack for understanding the complexities of this trade that can't be taught. And above all you express your feelings through your work as it becomes an extension of you."

To be honest it didn't make a lot of sense but I was still grateful for his praise. Through these visits I also got to meet Deidara's mother. Although she never said anything, I don't think she liked how immodestly I dressed so I made sure to cover up more whenever I came. After that she warmed up a bit. She was a mild and sensitive soul with an occasional temper, usually directed at things Deidara did. I got the impression he caused her quite a bit of grief.

Thanks to Tamotsu by my nineteenth birthday I had gained some recognition for my talents. I won multiple contests and carefully saved away my winnings. There was a future to consider now that Chieko was part of our lives. I suspect that Dad was going to propose to her eventually and they'll want the place to themselves. By then I'll be ready to move out. So I'm thinking a little apartment overlooking Lake Kiyomizu would be ideal. It wasn't as nice as Shimizu but it would be close to Dad and Chieko with the benefit of being near the beach. I didn't tell them because I knew they'd try to talk me out of it.

Soon Deidara's training came to an end and his parents planned a huge party for his homecoming. I was invited too but respectfully declined when I heard that lots of extended family would be coming. It's obvious this was meant to be more of a family event and I didn't want to intrude on that. I'd see him another time; let him have his moment in the spotlight.

So on the night of his big party I turned in early for the night. I had a commission opportunity to look into tomorrow so I wanted to get plenty of rest. I was more than a little nervous about making a good impression too: it was for Ryo's wife. I'd been hesitant to accept at first but both Dad and Tamotsu thought it was more of the Kawano Clan's way of "forgiving" me than any real interest in my work. Turning them down might be seen as an offense so I didn't have much of a choice. Still I was worried so I tossed and turned in my sleep, plagued by nightmares of Ryo's threat: _I do whatever I want…you'd do well to remember that._

I broke out into a cold sweat as I thrashed around and the blankets twisted around my legs. Then suddenly I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and a hand clamped over my mouth before I could scream. "Shhh Natsume-san," a familiar voice whispered soothingly in my ear. "It's me."

I stopped struggling and looked over my shoulder. It was Deidara. He smirked at my surprise. "Long time no see, hm?"

I rolled over to face him; his arms were still around me. "But what are you doing here? There's a big party for you at your house and everything."

"So I'll be fashionably late," he shrugged one shoulder. "I wanted to see you first."

I blushed faintly. "Really?"

"Of course," he grinned. "You're my girl after all."

I giggled. "Yeah you wish."

He pouted and I laughed as I hugged him back. "It's good to see you kid. I'm glad to see you survived in one piece."

"Oh c'mon was there ever any doubt?" He asked in exasperation. Then we allowed the silence to stretch comfortably between us. His expression softened as he gently stroked my cheek. "I really missed you."

"I missed you too," I said with a shy smile.

He leaned in slowly, intent on kissing me but wanted to give me a chance to stop him. For some reason I let him, perhaps out of nostalgia. My heart leaped into my throat as he kissed me. I had forgotten how tender his touch could be. He continued to kiss me so gently that I whimpered in spite of myself. Then I cradled his face in my hands as I kissed him back. He slid his hand down my side and I instinctively leaned into him. Then as his touch grew more eager I realized that I had to stop this before it got out of control. So I kicked him off the bed altogether.

"What was that for, hm!" He hissed as he glared at me.

"For sneaking into my bed like a pervert," I grinned wickedly as I sat up.

"You weren't complaining at the time," he scowled as he stood up.

"Thanks for coming to see me but your family is waiting for you," I said kindly as I stood up and sat on the windowsill I'm pretty sure he snuck in through. "Don't let all their party planning go to waste."

He approached me looking a little disappointed. "But I was hoping to spend some more time with you."

"Another time," I reassured him. "Now get going already."

He nodded and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. I swatted him away and he laughed as he climbed out the window.


	12. Chapter 12: The Patroness

[Natsume's Point of View]

I shook my head wryly as I watched Deidara hurry through the alleyway towards his house. What a flirt. It was rather flattering though that he wanted to see me first, that made me feel special. Once he was out of sight I made sure to close the window and lock it. But I wonder if it'd be enough to keep him out. I went back to bed and this time slept much better. My alarm went off around 6am, giving me an hour to prepare before this meeting. I dressed conservatively, determined to make a professional impression rather than a personal one. Dad was in the kitchen making breakfast and together we sat and ate. Then I kissed his cheek goodbye and left.

"Be careful now," he said softly.

"I will be," I smiled at him over my shoulder. "There's nothing to worry about."

He didn't look that convinced and to be honest neither was I. But the risk of offending the Kawano Clan outweighed whatever threat Ryo still posed. And besides, he'd hardly be likely to jeopardize his position for a past fling. The city came alive as merchants set up shop and people hurried on their way to work. Before I was invisible but now a few people waved hello and cheerful greeted me. Being Tamotsu's apprentice did have its advantages. I was friendly in return and thanked them for their well wishes.

Once out of the main streets I turned in a western direction where the wealthier families lived. The estates were large, impressive, and immaculate. Heaven forbid a weed dare grow on the property, I'm sure. Our villa in Shimizu looked like a hovel compared to these mansions. It's just a shame that it's wasted on the likes of Ryo. I recognized the Kawano estate from their clan emblem on regal violet flags set about the propriety. I stopped to admire for a moment, collected my courage, and approached security for clearance to enter. I was escorted inside and left in a sitting room to wait. I sat down in a stiff chair, which is weird considering how ornate it was. I squirmed a little to try and get comfortable. It was pointless so I stood up and paced a little.

Just then the door opened and my heart dropped into my stomach as Ryo entered. Despite his formal robes he still looked like a sexy scoundrel. I swallowed nervously when he smirked at me as he closed the door behind him. There were no windows in this room so that door was my only exit. Now he stood between me and the outside world and that didn't sit well with me at all. I took a deep breath and tried to reason with myself. Surely he wouldn't try anything in his own house. I forced myself to bow respectfully; his rank now was higher than mine. "Good day Watanabe-san."

"Don't be so formal with me," he purred as he approached me. "It's insulting."

I held my ground, determined to be polite even if he didn't deserve it. "Congratulations on the new addition to your family. I wish you and your esteemed wife the very best." He continued his approach with lustful eyes and I took a step back in spite of myself. "I'm supposed to meet with Lady Watanabe," I insisted. "She's expecting me."

"She's busy," he said bluntly. "She sent me instead."

I hated how cocky he looked and glared at him. "Then I will reschedule and return another time."

"Quit being so stinkin' formal!" He growled as he lunged for me. I dodged and raced for the door. I yanked on the handle but it was suddenly locked. He spun me around and pinned me against the door. I struggled against his numbingly tight grip on my arms. He grinned deviously. "I've missed you, you know." His lips brushed against the side of my neck and I trembled. "I thought you'd never come back."

I gasped as he pressed his body deliciously against mine. It felt good too, curse him! "You can't do this Ryo," I slipped, saying his name this time. "What we had before was-"

"Fantastic," he said breathlessly as he slipped his hand up the front of my shirt.

I caught hold of his wrist to stop his advance and glared at him. "Regardless of that things are different now."

"Nothing has changed," he said firmly as he looked me in the eye. His gaze was determined.

"Everything has changed!" I snapped. "You're married now and about to be a father! Does that mean nothing to you?"

"That's only my duty, just a respectable role to fill to please my family." He said off-handedly. "I hate the pressure and responsibility. It's terribly stifling sometimes." He smirked as he leaned in to kiss me. "That's why I need you Natsume; your body intertwined with mine, that intoxicatingly liberating release…"

I turned my head aside. If he kisses me I'll be tempted to give in to him. He has a way of over-whelming me with his passion. I never minded before, it had been such an incredible high then. But now it was dangerous and I had to get out of here. I struggled against him as he continued to press his intentions. "It's over! I won't be used by the likes of you!"

Despite my temper I was unable to shove him back. He was much stronger than me. He chuckled at my weakness. "You're mine to do with as I please. C'mon give in already; you know you want to…"

"No I don't!" I screamed at him, hoping now that someone would hear and interrupt us. "Let me go and leave me alone!"

"That will be quite enough," a soft feminine voice said authoritatively from the back of the room.

Ryo and I froze in place. He slowly turned his head around and his jaw dropped. It was Lady Watanabe.

She emerged from her hiding place, a hidden passageway concealed behind a large portrait that "hung" on the back wall. She was regally dressed in an elaborate kimono that accommodated her swelled stomach. Her lavender hair was elegantly held back with an amethyst comb. Her features were delicate and slender with a pleasant glow to her rosy cheeks. Her almond-shaped eyes were narrowed condemningly at her husband.

Naturally he let go and I fell to the floor in a subservient bow. "Forgive me Lady Watanabe! This isn't what it looks like!"

"Liar!" Ryo growled as he kicked me in the side and towered over me angrily. "How dare you come here to try and seduce me?"

"ENOUGH!" Reiko snapped as fire blazed in her eyes. "We will talk later, my dear husband," she said with mild sarcasm. "You are dismissed."

He scowled but nodded and unlocked the door and left. I remained on the floor, still in my bow. My heart raced as she softly approached me. I was completely terrified, convinced now that it was all over. "Forgive me Lady Watanabe!" I repeated in my panic.

The footsteps stopped. "No Nadeshiko-san."

I swallowed nervously as cold dread washed over me.

She sighed wearily. "I cannot forgive you for you did nothing wrong."

I looked up in surprise to see her smiling sadly down at me as she bade me rise. I did so and she gestured for us to sit down in those stiff ornate chairs. She carefully sat down, resting a hand on her stomach as she did so. She looked nearly due and I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. How must it feel to be expecting a child with a man who doesn't love you? Then again I don't think Ryo loves me either, he only cares about himself.

"Rather I must ask you for forgiveness," Reiko said ruefully.

I blinked in surprise. "For what?"

"While I am interested in your artisan abilities, I did arrange this meeting for a different reason," she said mildly as she rested her tiny hands in her lap. Everything about her was delicate and frail, but she had an authoritative air about her that impressed me. Was that just because of her noble blood? "I wanted to see how my husband would react if you were alone with him. I had to know…I hope you understand."

I bristled a little at the idea of being set up. Still I understood her worry and nodded. "I am still sorry, my lady."

"You may find this impertinent," she said kindly. "But I wish to know the nature of your past relationship with my husband."

I reddened. This wasn't something I wanted to discuss with his wife. "It was purely sexual and lasted for about eight months," I mumbled. "I had no idea he was betrothed to you at the time, I swear!"

She nodded sadly. "I am sure you did not. For you see Nadeshiko-san, you were not the only girl he's seduced in the past." That didn't really surprise me; he was a womanizer through and through. She wore a rueful smile. "I've know my husband since childhood. Our two families have always been close. I love him but that does not blind me to his faults." Then she squared her shoulders and slipped into regal mode. "I thank you for your honesty, integrity, and valor in the midst of temptation." She smiled warmly at me. "If you like I would be honored to be your patroness."

My eye widened in surprise. This was far more than I was expecting. A commission is a one time assignment; but a patron has the right to own me in a sense. I would work for her alone and in return she provides me with supplies as well as a salary. She could very well finance my future; the Kawano Clan is notorious for their love of the arts. This was an opportunity I couldn't refuse. I stood up and bowed deeply. "Thank you, my lady. I am most grateful."

"As one of my artisans naturally you will be well cared for…and well protected," She winked knowingly. I knew what she meant: I would be protected from Ryo. That took an immense weight off my shoulders. "I understand that you sculpt as well." I nodded and she reached for a folder that was resting on the table. "I would like you to sculpt these images," she said as she handed it to me.

I looked through it. They were photographs of a bride and groom. With them was a list of details such as the size she wanted, the type of clay to use…I was impressed by the specifics.

"It is to be a gift for this couple on their wedding day. I need them in one month's time; will that work for you?"

I nodded. "Yes, my lady. It will be more than enough."

She smiled as she rang a silver bell that sat on the same table that summoned a servant. "Kichida-san will escort you to our financial advisor. He will discuss the terms of the contract and set a suitable price. Good day Nadeshiko-san."

I bowed deeply again. "The same to you, Lady Watanabe. And thank you again…for everything."

She nodded in a pleasant manner and I turned to leave with Kichida. He didn't say anything as we walked but I didn't expect him to. Servants don't generally talk to their superiors or guests. I'm glad we didn't have that kind of formality in Shimizu. The financial advisor was an elderly man with a long thin nose and bristly mustache. He was courteous and carefully explained the contract. It was basically what I thought it would be. I wasn't allowed to work for anyone else or enter any contests without the permission of my patroness. She reserved the rights to my work within a limited context and I was to be paid monthly for my work. My eyes widened at the amount. I had never seen so many zeroes attached to a figure before.

"Are you satisfied with the amount or shall we negotiate?" He asked kindly.

I hurriedly assured him that I was more than happy with the amount. After all of the terms had been covered I signed my name at the bottom of the contract. Then Kichida escorted me to the front gate where someone was waiting outside for me, pacing back and forth like a caged animal. It was Deidara.

As soon as I came through the gates, he grabbed me by the arms. "What are you doing here?" He snapped.

"What are _you_ doing here?" I frowned as I pulled away.

"Don't change the subject!" He growled as he pointed back at the mansion. "Why did you go there in the first place?"

"I don't care for your attitude," I said firmly as I walked back down the street. "And I don't have to explain myself to you either."

"C'mon Natsume-san don't be like that," he groaned as he followed after me. "I'm just worried, that's all. I was afraid that-"

I turned on my heel and defiantly folded my arms across my chest. "That what? I'd try to hook up with Ryo again?"

"Of course not," he scowled. "But I thought he might try something." So his worry turned out to be justified but I didn't want to prove him right. It wasn't any of his business. He drew closer and rested his hands on my forearms, his gaze was concerned. "I wanted to make sure you were alright."

I'll admit I was touched by that so I wore a small side smile. "Thanks."

He nodded and we continued walking together. "Dad told me about the potential commission, did you get it?"

"I got something even better," I grinned. "Lady Watanabe has agreed to be my patroness." Deidara's eyes widened incredibly and I took his surprise as delight. "I know! It's incredible right? I've already got my first assignment so-"

He turned pale. "You agreed to it?"

"Well yeah," I said simply. "I'd be a fool to pass this up."

"But it also brings you closer to Ryo-san!" He protested.

"Nonsense," I brushed him off. "It means nothing of the kind."

"You can't do this," he insisted.

I frowned at him. "I'm not asking for your permission kid. And if you're gonna freak out over everything I do this is going to be one short friendship."

"You're right," he said as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Sheesh what a temper. And this is supposed to be the newest member of the Explosion Corps? Who'd trust this hot-head with power like that? I just hope he's more controlled on the battlefield. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "It's just that…well…"

"You're worried, I get it," I smirked. "But seriously I can take care of myself. The last thing I'm looking for is a samurai in shining armor."

"So what are you looking for?" He asked curiously.

I thought about my future apartment in Kiyomizu. "My future," I said vaguely. "I've got dreams kid and they're not here in Iwagakure."

His face fell slightly. "What's wrong with Iwagakure?"

"Don't take it so personally!" I laughed as I wrapped an arm around his neck and gave him a noogie.

He pulled away with a laugh of his own. "Alright, why don't we get some pocky then? I'm in the mood for a sweet."

I agreed and together we went. Later that afternoon during my lesson with Tamotsu I told him about my interview. Deidara was off for a review with the Tsuchikage to prove his new skills. If he approved, Deidara's entrance into the Explosion Corps would be official. I was comfortable telling Tamotsu the complete truth, including what happened with Ryo. His nerves weren't as high strung as Dad's so I knew his reaction would be tamer. He closed his eyes and shook his head sadly. "I wish that you had consulted me first before signing the contract."

I was surprised by his disappointment. "I looked it over thoroughly. The terms were very agreeable."

"I'm sure they were," he admitted. "And you did well to secure one with the Kawano Clan. They are great patrons of the arts. My concern has more to do with the potential exposure to Ryo-san."

"You too huh?" I groaned. "Seriously Lady Watanabe is hardly likely to bring me anywhere near her husband."

"That is true," he admitted again. "Still I would feel more comfortable about this if you were escorted to future meetings."

I made a face. "An escort?"

He nodded. "Please consider it," he said kindly. "I'm certain that Deidara would be willing."

I snorted as I dumped a slab of prepared clay on the table. "More than willing. But seriously Tamotsu-Sensei, don't encourage him. He's already impossible."

He chuckled softly as he set about his work. I started to work on the first sculpture, one that was to be a centerpiece at the wedding feast. In the image the couple gazed lovingly into each other's eyes. I rolled my eyes. Seriously why do people put so much faith in fairy tales? Reiko and Ryo had a storybook wedding and what did she get? An adulterous husband who's only in it to please his family. Not that it mattered, I was currently profiting from this romantic crap so who was I to complain?

I was so concentrated on my work, caught up in the experience of creation that I jumped when someone tapped my shoulder. I looked up at the clock. It was well past six o'clock. "I'm sorry Tamotsu-Sensei," I said hurriedly. "I lost track of the hour."

"Guess again," a voice chuckled behind me and I turned to see Deidara decked out in his new uniform. He wore the standard shinobi flak jacket over a one-sleeved shirt. "Impressive huh?" He asked proudly as he posed.

"Yeah," I agreed as I wiped sweat from my brow. I looked around the studio. "Where's your Dad?"

"He's helping Mom with dinner." He jerked his thumb towards the door. "It'll be done soon so why don't you wash up and join us?"

I stretched stiffly. "Sure, why not?"

At the dinner table small talk was exchanged. I was content to watch for a moment with a rueful smile. Seeing the three of them together reminded me of the old days, back when mom was with us. I still don't understand why she left. Wasn't she happy? She was always smiling then…but was her smile as fake as mine is sometimes? I jumped as Deidara poked my side. "Isn't that right, Natsume-san?" He asked eagerly.

"Uh yeah," I agreed, too embarrassed to admit that I wasn't paying attention.

"That's good," Tamotsu said as he sighed with relief. "Deidara would be an excellent escort for you. I'm glad you changed your mind."

I reddened as I lowered my gaze. Looks like I'm now stuck with him. I couldn't very well admit my mistake now. Besides it wouldn't be so bad to have a shinobi escort me. He could definitely protect me if he had to.

This time I paid better attention as Deidara wanted to talk about some of the good times we shared in Shimizu. That was forever ago and yet it felt like it happened yesterday. We shared all kinds of stories, I even mentioned his "girlfriend" Airi. He got so angry as he fiercely denied it that we all laughed at him.


	13. Chapter 13: Deidara's Mistake

[Deidara's Point of View]

Things really started to change the day Natsume got a patroness. For starters I think she was insane for accepting it in the first place. I don't care how big a break this is supposed to be for her. It's not worth the risk of running into Ryo again. Of course I tried to talk her out of it but she's terribly stubborn. She worked hard in Dad's studio, bent over her creations that she molded to perfection. It truly was a beautiful sight to see. When I wasn't busy in the Explosion Corps, I would find her working in the studio on yet another project.

"How long have you been here?" I asked in surprise late one afternoon. When I left for work this morning she had just started.

She quickly looked up at the clock. "Eleven hours or so give or take."

I stared at her. "Are you for real? I hope you've taken a couple of breaks in-between."

She shook her head as she wiped her sweaty brow. "Nope, I can't afford to. These figurines have to be done in two hours so they'll have time to bake in the kiln." She gestured to about twenty figurines about five inches tall.

"Don't you think you're working too hard, hm?" I frowned.

She smirked. "This is my job kid; it's supposed to be hard work."

I took a look at her clay-streaked paper to read the details. These figurines were to be of certain members of the Kawano Clan. I made a face as I read one of the names. "You have to make one of Ryo-san too?"

She nodded silently as she pointed at his in the middle. I carefully picked it up and turned it over. "This doesn't look anything like him."

She frowned at me. "What are you talking about? Of course it does."

I shook my head as I took a scrap of discarded clay and rolled out a few pieces. "He just needs a few additions, that's all." I carefully placed horns on his head and an ugly mustache on his face. "There," I said proudly as I held it out towards her. "That's what a first-rate villain looks like."

She burst out laughing. "Agreed but I could hardly turn that in to my patroness."

I heaved an exaggerated sigh. "I suppose so," I said as I carefully removed the additions. "So many do you have left to do?"

"Three more," She sighed as she arched her back to stretch her stiff muscles. My eyes ran down her gorgeously slender figure. She is so incredibly sexy and I drew closer in spite of myself.

"Anyway I can help?"

"You could grab some of that clay," she pointed at some on a shelf above the table she worked at. "Just be careful, it's pretty heavy."

"Relax I'm plenty strong," I grinned as I reached out for it. She wasn't kidding though, that little brick of clay weighed a ton. I wasn't excepting that so my grip on it was feeble. It slipped through my fingers and fell hard on the table. The figurines shook and one close to the edge started to fall off. I lunged to catch it and did so just in time.

"You idiot!" She hissed angrily at me. "Look what you did!"

"What are you talking about? I caught it," I held it out to her.

She snatched it back and shoved me hard. "What was that for, hm?" I protested.

"You ruined them!" She exclaimed hysterically as she picked up four figurines crushed beyond repair. I looked down at my flak jacket, now streaked with red clay. My eyes widened as I realized that in my haste to save one I had accidentally squished four of them. "I spent five hours on these!" She lamented as angry tears sprang to her eye.

"Natsume-san…" I said sadly. "I'm really sorry…"

She let the pieces crumble through her fingers as she started to cry. "I'll never finish in time now…it's impossible…"

"I said I was sorry," I insisted.

"Sorry isn't going to fix this!" Her voiced cracked with emotion. "They're ruined and I don't have time to start over!"

"It'll be alright," I insisted as I rested a hand on her shoulder. "I can help-"

"NO!" She screamed as she punched me in the stomach. I staggered backward as she had knocked the wind out of me. "I've had enough of your help so get out! NOW!"

I blinked in surprise. I've never seen her this angry before. Her hands curled into trembling fists as she glared scathingly at me. But underneath the anger I saw her devastation. "Look calm down already, hm," I said in an effort to calm her down. "It's not that big a deal."

That was the wrong thing to say. Her face contorted with rage and she threw things at me as she chased me out of the studio and slammed the door behind me. My heart dropped as I heard her sob through the door. I felt terrible; I didn't mean to screw things up so badly. And now she's mad at me, I sighed and rested my head against the door in despair.

"Deidara? Is something wrong?"

I looked up to see Dad approaching with a concerned look on his face. "Yeah," I confessed as I brushed my long side bangs out of my eyes. "I accidentally crushed some of Natsume-san's work and she's pretty upset about it."

His eyes widened in shock as he grew pale. I frowned. Why was he so worried? "Excuse me," he said as he gently pushed me aside and opened the door.

"Oh Tamotsu-Sensei!" I heard her cry out. "It's all over now!"

I watched through the crack in the door as he gave her a quick hug. "Don't fear the worst quite yet. Let me see what I can do to help."

She showed him the ruined pieces. His face fell as he confirmed that they were past repair. She lowered her gaze and her pink lips trembled as she continued to cry. "I'll finish the last three and put them all in the kiln to harden." She sighed as her shoulders sagged. "I'll just have to explain what happened to Lady Watanabe…" she whimpered as she cried into her hands.

Dad rested his hand comfortingly on her shoulder. "I'm sure she'll be lenient. It was an accident, Natsume-san. I'm sure Deidara meant no harm."

"I'll kill that brat if I lose my job over this!" She spat as she kicked her stool over. Then she saw me peeking through the door and picked up the ruined figurines and threw them at me. I quickly shut the door and ran off. Man was she ever scary when she gets mad!

I made sure to keep my distance, changed out of my dirty uniform, and then mom roped me into doing extra chores. To her surprise I didn't complain this time. It helped distract me but not completely. All I could think about was how devastated she looked as she said it was all over. Isn't that being a little over dramatic? I mean one little mistake isn't the end of the world.

That night at the dinner table I was surprised that Natsume didn't join us for dinner. Usually when she worked late she ate with us. Dad wasn't there either. Mom noticed my inquisitive look and explained, "He's helping Natsume-san with the final touches on her consignment. They should be done soon, I'd imagine."

I nodded and then mom and I silently ate together. We don't talk all that much and besides opening my mouth tends to get me into trouble anyway. Towards the end of the meal Natsume hurried past the dining room.

"Natsume-san wait!" I cried out as I sprang up from the table and hurried out of the room. No good, she slammed the front door behind her. I groaned as I leaned against the wall. "What a drama queen, hm," I grumbled to myself.

"Now Deidara that is most unkind," my dad scolded as he approached. "She has good reason to be upset."

"Yeah, I know," I grumbled as I sat back down at the table. "I ruined four figurines, that was really stupid of me, I'll admit. But it was just a little mistake, I'm sure Lady Watanabe will understand."

"There are no little mistakes in this profession," my dad said firmly as he took a seat across from me. "Being an artist isn't like being a shinobi. We don't have teammates to share the burden. Our work is purely conditional on our performance. If our patrons are unsatisfied with our work or we fail to meet our obligations, we're fired. It's as simple as that."

I stared at him. "For real? Isn't that a bit extreme?"

"Not at all," he said simply. "Patrons rely on their artisans to be on time. Each consignment has a purpose. Most of them are meant as gifts to secure alliances or as a sign of respect between friends. They're counting on us because our work is a reflection on them. If we fail on our part, then naturally they will fail in theirs. That is not looked upon lightly. The dishonor on one will result on the other."

Now I was worried. Who knew art could be so political? "She really could be fired over this?" I asked softly.

His gaze lowered as he sighed dismally. "Yes she could. I hope it doesn't come to that."

Neither do I. I felt even worse now and my appetite was officially ruined. I picked at my food with my chopsticks until at last I gave up and excused myself from the table. I went to my room and threw myself onto the bed. What if she does get fired? It didn't seem fair when it wasn't her fault. And if she were fired…would she ever forgive me? That night I slept restlessly, my nightmares were plagued with her deadly devastated glare.

I rose early the next morning. I was supposed to escort Natsume to deliver the finished figurines before I go to work. I quickly dressed as I thought of how to apologize. With any luck she'd be in a more forgiving mood. I ran all the way to her house. Masanori answered the door and looked a little sad to see me. That wasn't a good sign. "Is Natsume-san still here?"

He shook his head. "No, she's already left."

I panicked. "She went alone?"

"No, Chieko accompanied her," he assured me. "Won't you come in?"

I shook my head. "Naw, I'm sure I'll see her later. Thanks anyway."

But she never showed up, not even for her daily lesson with Dad. Instead a messenger arrived with a note addressed to him. He tipped the messenger and opened the letter. His face grew pale as he read, his lips pressed tightly together.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I approached.

"Natsume-san has been placed on probation with no pay for a month," he said sadly.

"That's not fair!" I protested. "It wasn't her fault! We both know it was mine!"

"It doesn't matter whose fault it is," he said resolutely. "It's the price an artisan pays when they fail to live up to their obligation. It's part of being contracted."

I curled my hands into fists and clenched my teeth. "That's still not fair!"

He sighed as he pocketed the letter. "No its not…but that's life sometimes."

I stood still as he walked past me. He didn't say a word, didn't even give me a scolding even though I deserved it. We both knew that I was solely to blame. It wasn't fair for her to take the wrap for it either. I had to make this right; I had to explain to Lady Watanabe what really happened. Somehow I'll make her understand. I pulled my sandals back on and left the house. I ran all the way to the Kawano Mansion, arms pumping and feet flying. When I reached the security gate I asked to speak with Lady Watanabe on a matter of urgent business.

He looked rather skeptic. "And you are?"

"Deidara, I'm Natsume-san's assistant," I lied but who was he to know?

"Do you have an appointment?" The stoic guardsmen asked.

"Well…no but its very important, hm," I insisted.

"Then make sure to schedule one beforehand, good day to you."

"No! Wait! You don't understand!" I protested.

"I'm afraid that _you_ don't understand," he said with a hint of severity in his grave tone. "No one enters without an appointment."

I started to panic. I couldn't just leave! There had to be some way to get inside. Then just my luck Lady Watanabe was outside in the gardens with her attendant. I grabbed a hold of the bars of the front gate. "Lady Watanabe! I must speak with you!" I screamed and waved to catch her attention. It worked; she stared at me in horror with her brow furrowed in puzzlement. I don't think she gets yelled at a lot. "It's about Natsume-san!" I cried out. "It's all a big misunderstanding! You see-"

"Silence!" The guardsman restrained me as he clamped a firm hand over my mouth. "You will address a lady of her position with more respect!"

"It is alright Miura-san," She said as she gracefully approached us. "You may let him enter."

He quickly let go of me and bowed respectfully. "As you wish, Lady Watanabe." He opened the gate for me and I rushed inside.

I bowed deeply. "Thank you, my lady."

"I remember you," she said softly. "You are Natsume-san's friend. You say you have news from her?"

"Not exactly, my lady, hm," I confessed. "But I must explain about the figurines. It's not her fault that they weren't finished on time. It's mine."

She considered this for a moment and then turned away. "Let us talk inside, follow me."

I did so and once inside we walked down a large corridor. Ryo was up ahead, talking to some adviser. His dark eyes met mine and we glared at each other as I passed by. He hadn't forgotten me and I'd never forget him either. He was such a jerk hurting Natsume like that. She deserved better than a dirt bag like him. Lady Watanabe showed me into a sitting room and gestured for me to sit down. "So tell me young man, how is Natsume-san's failure your mistake?"

I took a seat and took a deep breath to calm my nerves. "I accidentally squished four of them and she had no time to re-do them. Please don't punish her for that."

She looked at me seriously. "Regardless of whose fault it was, she failed to meet my expectations. Her mistake came at most inconvenient time for me."

I frowned at her. Was she really so heartless? "But did you really have to punish her so severely?"

"Normally a mistake of this magnitude would have resulted in a termination of the contract," she explained. "But I am quite fond of Natsume-san's work. There is nothing else quite like it in Iwagakure. I would be remiss to let her go permanently. But even so I cannot let her go unpunished for failing."

"But it wasn't her fault!" I protested. "She takes her job very seriously, too seriously sometimes, and works countless hours to please you. She won't fail you again, please just give her another chance to prove herself!"

She considered me for a moment. "Who are you exactly?"

"I'm her assistant, hm."

She lifted her brows in mild surprise. "Are you now? She never mentioned having an assistant before."

"I'm more of an apprentice really," I continued to lie.

"And the fault is truly yours?"

I nodded. "Yes, my lady."

She rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "And yet she didn't blame you when she turned in the figurines. She took full responsibility….that is most unusual…" I swallowed nervously. Hopefully she meant unusual in a good way. Then she smiled kindly. "Again I am impressed by her valor. To take responsibility for a novice is foolish but I admire her courage. It shows compassion."

"So you'll forgive her?" I asked hopefully.

She nodded. "Yes, you may tell her that I wish to speak with her tomorrow. Or rather to both of you, for this next consignment will truly be a team effort."

I stood up and bowed deeply. "Thank you, my lady. We will not disappoint you."

She sent for a servant escort me out and I quickly made my way back to the house. When I tell Natsume the news I'd like to bring along a present as well. Just a little something I've been working on. With my present in hand I went over to Natsume's house. It was getting late now, hopefully she was still awake. I chakra-leaped onto the room and carefully leaned forward to rest a bird sculpture on her windowsill and gently tapped the glass.

I waited for her to open the window and she did so. She took the bird inside but locked the window again. That was no trouble for a shinobi. I sneaked a peek and saw that her back was turned as she admired the tiny sculpture. I easily picked the lock and silently slipped inside.

She jumped as I slipped my arms around her waist. She cautiously looked over her shoulder, pale and wide-eyed. Then she sighed with relief as she rested a hand over her pounding heart. "You scared me!"

"I'm sorry," I apologized.

"How did you get in anyway? I locked the window."

"It'll take more than a lock to keep me away, hm." I smirked.

"And what would it take?" She smirked back.

"I'm not going to tell you." I teased.

She giggled softly and then frowned at me as she pulled away. "I'm still mad at you, you know. Don't think this present is going to make up for it."

"I know," I assured her as I reached out for her hand and pulled her closer. "But this might. I talked to Lady Watanabe, explaining everything and taking responsibility for my mistake."

She blinked in surprise. "You did?"

I nodded. "Yes, and she's come around too. She wants to meet with you tomorrow about another consignment." She stared at me for a long time and I waited anxiously for her reply. "Don't you see? You've been forgiven and-"

She cried for joy as she grabbed my face and kissed me. I stiffened in surprise. "Oh thank you!" She gushed with relief. "Thank you thank you thank y-"

I kissed her back, wrapping my arms around her as I held her close. Now she was surprised but I kissed her softly and tenderly. I could feel her body relax as it leaned into mine. Then I parted her lips with my tongue, I wanted to taste her so badly. She obliged with a sigh as she rested her cool fingertips along the sides of my sensitive neck. My heart soared at her gentle touch and I wanted to get even closer to her. I slipped my hand up the back of her shirt but apparently I had gone too far. She immediately pulled away with a faint blush on her cheeks as she tucked her bangs behind her ear. "Yes…well uh…thanks again."

"You're welcome," I said softly as I saw how flustered she was. But there was more to her discomfort. She looked uncertain as her gaze darted nervously from here to there and her brow knit with concern. Did she feel guilty? Ashamed? "Natsume-san I…"

"You should leave," she said firmly. I reached out for her but she drew back, her gaze lowered. "Just go already."

I was worried about her sudden uneasiness. "Look if I was too forward-"

She laughed but it seemed a little forced and her smile awkward. "No it's not that. It's just that it's late and I want to get some rest, especially if I'm to meet with Lady Watanabe tomorrow morning."

I hesitated, truly concerned now. "I'm sorry Natsume-san. I'd never hurt you…you know that right?"

Her expression softened as she affectionately tweaked my nose. "I know," she said gently. "And I'm truly grateful for that."

That would have made me feel better if she didn't look so sad.


	14. Chapter 14: An Artist is Born

[Natsume's Point of View]

Deidara probably thought I was crazy but he left as silently as he had come in. I locked the window behind him, not that it'd do any good now. I rested my hands on the windowsill and my head against the glass. I closed my eyes tightly as I trembled. What's wrong with me? Why did I do that? I knew better than to kiss him. I knew it'd only excite him and lead him on…two things I'd sworn to never do again. But I lost my head when he told me the good news. I wasn't thinking and should have set him straight the second he kissed me back. _And yet_…my hands clenched into fists…_I couldn't resist._ The way Deidara touches me is so very different from my other boyfriends. Their touch is fierce and passionate, only serving to meet their needs with no genuine concern for mine. Deidara's naivety makes him gentler but I suspect it's more than that. He not only cares for me but respects me. I know he'd never force himself on me, no matter how tempted he might be. He's one of those rare gentlemen, chivalrous to the core, which is all the more reason for me to stay away from him. I'd only ruin him in the end.

I've felt this way for some time and yet still haven't had the courage to end our friendship or to resist his kiss. Once again my weakness overcame my resolve and I played with fire. I managed to stop him this time but how many times will it take before I surrender and burn? I sighed as I turned away. Midnight is far too late to be thinking such deep things. I'm exhausted and need sleep. I'll deal with him later.

The next morning Deidara was waiting for me outside to serve as my escort again. He looked a little worried as he asked if I was feeling any better. I frowned and folded my arms across my chest. "Look I'd just as soon forget last night ok?"

He flinched. "I am sorry, hm."

I sighed as I led the way. "You don't need to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong."

"And you did?" He asked keenly.

I ignored him but the remark had hit the mark. He knew me well and I hated that. He kept finding ways to penetrate the defenses I've worked so hard to maintain. We didn't say anything else as we walked to the Kawano Estate. Just before we approached security for clearance he caught me by the arm and whispered in my ear. "By the way, they think I'm your apprentice now."

I stiffened and narrowed my eye suspiciously at him. "Any particular reason why?"

"I had to give credibility as to why the fault was mine," he explained. I groaned as I covered my eyes and he went on. "Ok so it was a lie and I'm sorry for that but it's not so bad, is it?"

I took a deep breath and lowered my hand as I looked into his worried face. He was adorable like that, very child-like, and I cracked a side smile. "I know you meant well. And since you covered for me I suppose I could do the same for you this time."

He brightened considerably. "Really? You'll take me on as your apprentice?"

I nodded and smirked. "Don't expect it to be easy though. I'm gonna be a tough task master."

"Anything as long as we can be together."

I hesitated at his enthusiasm. I would have to be careful to keep our working relationship a professional one. I can't afford to get too close to him, for either of our sakes. So together we went to meet with Lady Watanabe and she gave us a huge consignment. It would have been impossible to do on my own. As we walked away I warned him. "If you fail me kid, I won't hesitate to replace you."

He nodded firmly. "I won't let you down."

He meant well but unfortunately he needed direct guidance at first. He was talented enough but not patient enough. "How do you make it look so easy, hm?" He grumbled in frustration after another failed attempt.

I took the clay from him and pounded it back into a lump so I could reuse it. "The problem is that you neglect the process because all you can see is the end result."

He frowned. "Of course I do. The end result is all that matters."

"Yes the end result is what we turn in, but the process is what counts. Break down the whole into pieces; focus on the beauty of the individual." He still looked confused so I turned away to grab a piece of paper and a charcoal pencil. "Here's an example," I said as I sat down beside him. "See that flower over there?" I pointed at a vase of Kuchinashi [Gardenias] sitting on Tamotsu's desk.

Deidara's mother was quite fond of them. Tamotsu had told me that the first time he'd met her she had worked in a flower shop. _She out-shone the flowers with her radiant beauty and gentleness_, he had said. So for once he broke out of his shy reserved shell and approached her. _When she looked at me with those beautiful green eyes I was speechless. I couldn't think of what to say. I felt like a fool standing there,_ he'd said. _So I let the flowers speak for me. I plucked a Kuchinashi, which means Secret Love, and tucked it behind her ear. Then I kissed her cheek and walked away. _It was such a sweet story and even nicer that the house was full of Kuchinashi, the symbol of their beginning.

Deidara nodded. "What about them?"

"Break down the whole into individual pieces. I'll show you how." I set the paper on the table and started to draw. "There are three big pieces here, the vase, the stems, and the petals. Everything needs a good foundation so I'll start with the vase." He leaned in close as he watched me sketch. I tried to ignore his closeness as I added, "In the case of the stems and petals, the lines aren't rigid but more curvy. Each piece adds to the whole. Break it down and it's not so intimidating."

He listened silently as I continued to explain and by the end I held up the finished product. He took it and looked at it fondly. "It's even more beautiful than the original," he said softly.

I smiled. "Thanks but it's not that great. Anyway, you get the idea now?"

He nodded as he looked at me and smiled. "Yeah, thanks."

After that his work showed drastic improvement. I was thrilled for him as he began to understand and appreciate the beauty of art. He had a unique knack for it and surpassed me within a matter of months. His work was incredible, especially when he invented a way to mix things into clay that made it stand out on its own without using special glaze or paint. His creations were all the rage in Iwagakure and he started to gain a reputation for himself. Eventually I saw fit to "fire" him. I figured it was time for him to go his own way and not be restricted by my obligations. "Thanks but I refuse," he said firmly. I asked him why when he was good enough to find his own patron instead of being considered my assistant. He drew close and wrapped his arms around me. His gentle blue eyes softened, drawing me in, as his lips curved into a gentle smirk. "Because you're my Muse, Natsume-san. I'd be nothing with you."

I blushed and looked away. "Now that's just silly, you're famous enough that you could-" My voice died in my throat as he gently kissed me. I turned away so that his lips rested against my cheek. I couldn't bring myself to leave the warmth of his arms though. I allowed myself that one weakness.

"That doesn't matter to me," he whispered. "All I've ever wanted is to be with you. Yes the art we create together as a whole is impressive…but the part I cherish most is the individual. The countless hours we spend working together and getting to know each other. _That_ is what matters to me."

* * *

[Deidara's Point of View]

I know I said that fame didn't matter to me…but it did a little. I liked the recognition; the thrill of making something no one else could, to be truly original. That's not to say that Natsume's work was second-rate because it wasn't. She had her own style, that's all. I still admired how beautifully she crafted things. She was a true Master at her craft and was my inspiration. I created to please not only potential customers but her as well. I loved how her eyes would light up whenever I unveiled a new creation. I created solely to pleasure her. It wouldn't have been the same to work on my own.

But despite the grandeur of my sculptures that impressed her, they didn't bring me any closer to winning her heart. I know that she cares for me; I just know that she does. And yet no matter how close I got, she'd always step back and keep me at arm's length. Why did she do that? Especially when I know how much she enjoys being in my intimate embrace? And to make matters worse she kept dating jerks. She never told me about them but it was pretty obvious. Sometimes she wouldn't be home when I stopped by late at night and the next morning she'd be wearing a shirt with a high-necked collar. It made my blood boil to think that some other guy was caressing her and kissing her. It was even worse when I'd find out who it was because the idiot would later brag about it to his friends. She deserved someone much better than that, someone who would genuinely cherish her.

I asked Masanori for advice. "The trouble is that you're a nice guy, Deidara," he said. "For all your tough talk you're good at heart. That's the kind of guy she fears the most. She's insecure so she settles for dirt bags because she doesn't think she deserves better."

"So how do I show her that she does?"

"By continuing to be her friend," he said kindly. "Look at how far you've come with her already. She went from ignoring you to calling you her best friend. It's only a matter of time before those feelings mature into love. But it'll happen, you'll see."

So I tried to be patient, taking her mood swings in stride. She was frustrating sometimes…but every stolen kiss was worth the trouble.

Then one day I received a special summons to the Kawano Estate…meant for me alone. That surprised me but no more than when I saw who had summoned me. Ryo entered the room with that same advisor I'd seen him with before. He smirked in greeting. "I'm glad to see that you could fit me into your busy schedule," he said with mild sarcasm. "Seeing how you're such a celebrity now."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I'm supposed to meet with Lady Watanabe."

"No you're not because I'm the one who summoned you." He countered as he sat across from me.

I frowned. "You? But why?"

"I'd like to hire you for-"

I stood up and turned to leave. "Forget it, I'm not interested."

The advisor stood in my way and Ryo heaved a heavy sigh. "Just hear me out first and then reject if you wish."

I looked at him over my shoulder. "I won't be intimidated into working for you."

"And you won't be," he assured me as he motioned for his advisor to move aside. He bowed and stepped back. Ryo ran a hand through his tousled black hair. "You really don't like me, do you Deidara-kun?"

"No I don't," I said bluntly.

"It's because of my relationship with Natsume, isn't it?" He asked keenly and I flinched and looked away. He chuckled. "Really kid, I'm no different than you. I've seen the way you look her. You want to make love to her so passionately that she screams for more." I went completely red. How could he say that so candidly? Did he have no sense of decency? I didn't know which I hated more: the fact he could so freely admit how much he used to please her or the fact that he was right about me. I do wish for that. He continued on. "The only difference between us is that I wasn't afraid to go after what I wanted. You should know by now that she isn't the kind of girl to be persuaded or easily won over. She needs a man who is assertive and in control. Your passive approach to win her over will never work."

I glared fiercely at him. "She doesn't need to be dominated! She needs to be loved and respected, hm!"

He gave me a dry look. "She has slept with me but not with you," he said bluntly. "Who are you to tell me what approach works best?" I gathered my hands into trembling fists and clenched my teeth. Was he trying to make me angry on purpose? Did he summon me just to humiliate me? He cleared his throat. "But that's beside the point; just consider it some friendly advice. She doesn't matter to me anymore anyway."

I hesitated for a moment. "Do you really mean that?"

He laughed. "Of course, you forget that I have a family now so naturally I've moved on. Natsume means nothing to me anymore."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "And yet you continue to use her name with such familiarity…"

"A slip of the tongue," he said off-handedly. "Now back to business. I am looking for a bodyguard."

"You don't already have one?"

"An attempt was made on my life yesterday," he said seriously. "In the privacy of my own home. I can't trust my regulars since they've already failed."

"And you're choosing me?" I asked skeptically. "Someone who already doesn't like you?"

"Your reasons for hating me are solely based on my connection with Natsume-san," he said seriously. "So now that you know I've no interest in her, you have no reason to distrust me."

_He has a point…_I grudgingly admitted. "Go on."

"I'll admit that you weren't my first choice either," he confessed. "But you came highly recommended."

I blinked in surprise. "By who?"

"Gari-san, your superior in the Explosion Corps. Not to mention that I've seen your fighting style firsthand," he smirked. "I have no doubts you're capable for the job." I hesitated for a moment. I wasn't sure what to make of this. My silence didn't go unnoticed and he continued on. "This is only a temporary position, two months at the most. That will give me time to establish a new security detail."

Then he mentioned a salary and my eyes nearly popped out of my head. It was a _lot_ of money and the temptation to accept was strong. He waited expectantly for my answer and I stammered. "I-I'll have t-to think about it, hm."

He nodded. "Very well, I will give you until tonight to consider my offer. Uchida-san will show you out."

The tall advisor silently led the way and I bowed my head in thought. Money aside, I had two things to consider: (1) Would Natsume approve of me protecting her ex-boyfriend and (2) Could I get over my resentment to be an effective guard?

"I do hope you will accept the young master's offer," Uchida's deep and mature voice said softly. There was strength and pride in his voice, not what you'd expect from a subordinate. "The Kawano Clan is very well connected and respected, serve them well and you will greatly benefit from it."

"Hm," I grunted. I wasn't too convinced.

"Don't disregard connections," Uchida purred. "In the end, they're all that counts."

I didn't know what to say to that so I kept silent. I had to go to work now, duty calls for the Explosion Corps. When I returned home that afternoon I wasn't surprised to see Natsume still working in the studio. "Hey Dei-Dei, what's with the long face?"

I flinched again. A few weeks ago I had asked her to stop calling me "kid." _I have a name, you know, _I'd grumbled. She smirked. _Yeah but Deidara is too serious a name for a squirt like you. What you need is a nickname. _It didn't seem like a bad idea at first except that I didn't think she'd pick such a girly-sounding one. Still my pride wouldn't let me take back my words. I'll just have to get used to it.

I sighed as I sat beside her. "Can we talk for a minute?"

She nodded and set her latest project on the table.

"I got a job offer today," I began slowly. "From Ryo-san." She didn't react so I clarified. "From Ryo Watanabe."

"Yeah I figured you meant him," she said indifferently. "Go on."

"He wants to hire me as a bodyguard for two months."

"Oh? What did you say?" She asked innocently. Why was she so calm about this?

"I told him I'd think about it. I have to give him my answer tonight."

She checked the clock. "Well you'd better make up your mind soon then. So what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Me! Working for Ryo-san! DOESN'T THAT BOTHER YOU AT ALL?" I shouted in frustration.

She glared at me. "Lower your voice! There's no need to lose your temper over something so stupid."

"Does it bother you?" I repeated through clenched teeth.

"No it doesn't," she said simply.

I stared at her, wide-eyed. "Really? It doesn't?"

She nodded. "If you want to take the job don't hesitate on my account. He's just a guy I once dated, that's all."

I frowned thoughtfully as I remembered Ryo's minor taunt. _You want to make love to her so passionately that she screams for more. _If what he said was true…then surely she cared a great deal for him once. Can anyone really get over someone they were that intimate with?

She sighed in mild exasperation. "What's with _that_ face now?"

"It's just that…did he really make you…uh…" I reddened as I lost the courage to ask her if what he'd said was true. Also I didn't know if I really wanted to know the answer. "Never mind."

She giggled and shook her head in exasperation. "Seriously you're worrying over nothing. Ryo isn't the only jerky boyfriend I've had. I get over them quickly and so should you. Take the job if that's what you really want."

"Alright then, I will," I decided.

"Now are you ready to work for me, my underling?" She teased as she tweaked my nose.

"As long as I can sneak in a few kisses," I teased as I leaned in to kiss her.

She giggled and gently pushed me away. "Get to work, you little flirt."


	15. Chapter 15: The Point of No Return

[Deidara's Point of View]

So I accepted the position, even though it meant that I had to live at the Kawano Estate as I shadowed Ryo. Natsume had to hire someone else to help her with work, which I felt sorry for. She assured me it was ok and I had to trust that. It turned out that working for Ryo wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. He seemed like a nice guy; he was affectionate towards his wife and very fond of his son Kenichi. If I hadn't have known him before Natsume, I probably wouldn't have any problem with him. Part of me was still a little suspicious until I realized that he'd have nothing to hide from me. Why would he feel the need to pretend for my sake? I couldn't forgive him for hurting Natsume, but that didn't mean I had to hate him anymore either.

Often at night he wanted to talk because he suffered from insomnia. We'd sit in one of the sitting rooms as a fire crackled in the hearth. "Don't you ever wish for more?" He asked once as he stared into the flames.

"I think everyone does," I said vaguely.

"What do _you_ think?" He asked directly. That was one thing about him I admired. He wanted people to be honest with him, even if they disagreed with him.

I was quiet for a moment as I thought about Natsume. Yes she was my best friend…but she had always meant more to me that that. "I have too," I admitted softly.

"I despise my position," he frankly confessed. "It's terribly restricting." His gaze adverted towards mine. "I envy you Deidara-kun. You've chosen your own path; the future is yours to decide. That'll never happen to me. Everything I'll ever do has been planned out in advance and restricted to what others have decided for me…without any consideration for my wishes."

This was a side of nobility I'd never considered before. Seen in that light, I could see how I'd gotten the better deal after all. His face was composed but his dark eyes revealed the hell it must be to live a life you had no say in. I can't even imagine that…and thankfully I'd never have to. "But surely there are some perks to your position as well, hm?" I said in an attempt to rouse his spirits.

He nodded. "Oh yes, to be sure. But it often seems that the negative things out-weight the positive."

"Only if you let it," I disagreed. "You might not get to make all the decisions you'd like to, but your attitude about it might make all the difference."

He considered that for a moment and then slowly nodded.

We often had frank and honest discussions like that at night. He proved to be more insightful and knowledgeable that I gave him credit for. He was also a patient listener which made him an easy confidante. I could never bring myself to talk about Natsume with him, not even if he brought up the subject. I didn't want to hear things from his perspective. Of course I was a vigilant bodyguard but no harm ever came Ryo's way. It was weird considering the ferocity of the first attack, but I guess it all worked out in the end. He was safe. The only thing I didn't like about working for Ryo was that I had almost no contact with Natsume. Occasionally I'd see her from a distance meeting with Lady Watanabe. I missed her a lot and at first had written her notes to which she wrote back: _You're working remember? Stay focused silly. _It had bothered me at first but she was right. I didn't really have time to correspond. I had to stay close to Ryo's side as well as help him chose his new security detail. He seemed to value my opinion so he asked for it often.

I finally got a chance to see her at a party that Lady Watanabe was throwing for their son's first birthday. It was more than a family party. The Kawano Clan was very involved in politics so this was also a time to placate voters and discuss politics. It sounds like a lousy way to spend a first birthday but lucky for him that he wouldn't remember it. To make it worse it was a fancy party with formal attire required. Still Lord and Lady Watanabe doted on their son. Ryo had graciously given me the night off as a reward. I was very much looking forward to seeing Natsume again.

When I saw her, my heart soared. She always had her own style and tonight was no different. Yes she wore a traditional kimono but she had her own flare to it that made her stand out. I'm not sure if that was intentional, she usually did without meaning to. I made my way towards her, eager to spend the night with her. She smiled at me. "Hey there Dei-Dei, I almost didn't recognize you. You clean up nicely."

"Ha, Ha," I said dryly as I smirked. "You look as fabulous as ever."

She blushed faintly as her gaze lowered. I loved it when she did that and I drew closer in spite of myself. I reached out to take her hand. "May I have this dance?"

She opened her mouth to reply but just then someone appeared behind her. It was a tall man in his mid-twenties, with long dark hair pulled back. He deftly took her hand out of mine. I frowned but she turned to smile up at him. "Ah there you are," she said. "Where have you been?"

"Getting you a drink," he said as he handed it to her and then he looked at me curiously. "And who's this?"

"I'm Deidara," I said with a stiff bow. "And who are you?"

"Nori Chikafuji," he grinned a flashy smile. He was obviously cocky and arrogant. Oh please tell me this wasn't her newest boyfriend. Sure enough he wrapped his hand around her waist as he hugged her against his side. She didn't look me in the eye and he continued on. "I think I've heard of you before. You're some kind of artist too right?"

What an idiot. That was like saying the Tsuchikage was some kind of official. I can't believe she's dating this guy.

"He's not just an artist," she came to my defense. "He's won countless awards for his work. He's quite renowned in Iwagakure for his talent."

"Huh, you don't say," he said simply. "Well it was nice meeting you Deikara."

"Deidara," I corrected through clenched teeth.

"That's what I said." He said as he had the nerve to look at me like I was an idiot.

"Come Nori-san, let's give our best wishes to the birthday boy," she said firmly as she led him away by the elbow. She looked super embarrassed as she shot me an apologetic look.

I gathered my hands into fists as I watched them walk away. His hand on her waist lowered to rest on her hip. My blood began to boil at the sight, how dare he be so free and easy with his hands? I made to follow after them when someone caught me by the arm. I turned to see a group of girls surround me. "Excuse me Deidara-san," a brunette giggled. "I'm Ami, and these are my friends Chie, Hotaru, and Megumi. We're like your biggest fans!"

I grinned as I turned to face them. "Are you now?"

Megumi nodded as she drew closer. "Yes, your Birds of Prey collection was brilliant! I have all fourteen of them!"

"Can we please have your autograph?" Chie begged as they all pressed closer with wide eyes and wider smiles. This is just one of those things I _love_ about being famous.

"Of course, I'd be honored" I said as I started making them out. "It's not every day that I get to meet such beautiful girls."

I winked and they giggled and squealed. Flirting can be such fun sometimes. I have always been popular with girls but was even more so now. Only Natsume treats me the same as before…it's a shame really. After they left I remembered what I was about to do. I looked around the crowded room but didn't see Natsume. I asked around and someone mentioned seeing them leave out the back entrance. I slipped out and looked around the darkened corridor. That's strange, you'd think the fact that the lights were off would be an indication that this area was off-limits. Moonlight from the windows gave the area a bit of an ethereal glow to it. My footsteps echoed softly as I walked and looked around. It was very quiet and convinced that I'd been misinformed, I turned around to rejoin the party.

That's when I heard a crash, thud, and a burst of giggles. One of which I recognized. I stood still and listened closely. The noise was coming from a nearby closet and as I drew closer I heard Natsume shush someone. "Quiet! Someone's going to hear us. I don't see why you couldn't just wait until-"

"Relax no one's gonna find us," Nori said followed by a passionate groan. "And what makes you think I can wait when you look _incredibly_ sexy tonight?"

I stood outside the door as I listened in. Objects were moved around hastily followed by heavy kissing. My blood boiled and in my temper I threw the door open. What I saw exploded my temper into a rage. Natsume was lying on the ground with Nori sitting low on her hips. She was partially undressed, his hand still lingering on her chest. She gasped and covered her mouth in horror when she recognized me. Meanwhile Nori blinked stupidly, and then smirked as he tried to push me back. "Get outta here kid, we're busy."

I punched him in the face, sending him back against the closet wall. The impact was hard enough to knock him unconscious. Natsume scrambled to the side so he won't land on her. "What did you do that for?" She snapped.

I grabbed a hold of her hand and yanked her to her feet. She was clearly embarrassed as she tried to pull away. My grip on her was tight. She continued to resist as I shoved her into another room. She hastily tried to put together her kimono as she spoke. "What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with _me?_" I hissed as I got in her face. "How long have you known that idiot?"

"Why do you care?" She glared.

"HOW LONG?" I bellowed.

She flinched as she backed up against a couch and lowered her gaze. "About two weeks," she whispered.

I trembled with rage. "So you barely know him and already let him take advantage of you like that?"

She folded her arms across her chest defiantly. "He wasn't. It was consensual."

"Don't lie to me!" I snapped. "There's no way you'd give yourself to such an idiot! You deserve better than him!"

"And how do you know what I deserve?" She asked sarcastically.

I drew closer and grabbed her by the forearms. "You deserve better than the likes of him and all those other jerks you've dated too! _Especially_ the ones you didn't want me to know about!" She stared at me in surprise as my eyes brimmed with unshed tears. I won't cry…not over this but I've had it after months of watching her waste her time with those perverted losers. She was terribly still and my temper lessened as the silence stretched between us. My voice trembled. "You're the most incredible, most amazing girl I've ever met. Why can't you see that? You deserve better. None of them are good enough for you so why do you put up with them or let them take advantage of you like that?"

She was speechless and I rested my forehead against hers as I said softly. "I'd never hurt you like that. I'd treat you like the princess you are and be forever grateful just to be with you. You don't have to pretend with me like you do with them. I know you…and I know the lies you tell yourself. You think that somehow you're not good enough, or that you don't deserve any better…but the biggest lie you tell yourself is that you'll never find someone who'll genuinely love you." She grew pale as her eye widened. I brought up a hand to gently stroke her cheek. "But you're wrong. I love you Natsume, more than I've ever loved anyone before. I wish that…I could tell you just how much."

My hand drifted down the side of her soft neck and she closed her eyes with a sigh. Her eyelids trembled delicately against her cheeks. My other hand wrapped around her and slid down her back. I could feel her tremble in my arms as my fingertips grazed her spine. It was now or never, our friendship was on the line but it was a risk I wanted to take. "Let me be the one who heals your broken heart…let me make your impossible dream come true."

She drew a shaky breath as my mouth hovered over hers. I kissed her softly. I know just how much she likes it when I do that. She moaned softly as I continued to kiss her tenderly. "Don't Deidara-" she said softly.

My heart soared as she said my name and I began to kiss her harder. She stiffened at first but then leaned into me. Her closeness enveloped me as my grip tightened. My every nerve stood on end as I wanted her like I've never wanted her before. Carefully I lowered her onto the couch as I lay on top of her. Her warm body curved deliciously against mine and I loved how it felt. It lit a fire inside me as I grew more passionate. This wasn't just to satisfy my desire to make love to her, but to prove my love to her. I wanted her to know just how much I cared for her…needed her…she had to know that. She had to know how much I treasured her and how special she was. Her hands cradled my face as the kiss deepened and we savored each other's taste. She groaned with pleasure as her legs intertwined with mine. I moved to nibble on her ear-lobe. "I'll always be there for you Natsume, just as I've always been."

"I know but it's…not that…" she said breathlessly. "It's…more c-complicated than t-that."

I could sense that she was hovering on the edge of what she _thought_ she wanted versus what she _really_ wanted. Her touch in return was hesitant, almost like she was trying to hold back how she really felt. But in spite of that she wrapped her arms around me, her fingertips grasped me tightly. "Don't talk yourself out of what you feel," I murmured against her lips once more. "Be honest with yourself…and with me…"

"I-I can't," her voice cracked with emotion. I sensed the torment of uncertainty begin to over-whelm her. What was she so worried about? Why was she making this more difficult than it had to be? She loves me…her body moves in time with mine…and yet she's reluctant to follow through. Why is that? It's not because of a lack of desire. Despite her hesitancy, she clearly enjoyed my passionate touch. I think all she needs is help in overcoming her deep-rooted insecurities.

"Yes you can," I said gently as I ran my hand along her exposed thigh. My fingertips tingled against her silky skin. She gasped as she arched her back with pleasure. I lost myself in the moment, surrendering my restraint as I craved more of her. I kissed along her soft neck as my hand moved up to slowly to undress her.

"Don't!" She said sharply as she caught hold of my wrist. I looked up to see silent tears streaming down her face. Her full lips trembled as she took an unsteady breath. "If you get close to me…you won't like what you see."

My brow furrowed. "That's not true, hm. If you'd only give me a chance-"

She slowly shook her head from side to side. "There are...things...you don't know about me." She swallowed nervously. "I can't get close to you. Why can't we just be friends?"

I kissed her again and felt her protest die in her throat as I brushed my tongue against hers. Her chest rose against mine as our kiss was passionate. This isn't something shared between friends and we both knew it. She panted softly when I ended the kiss. "Because I know that secretly you want more than that." Her expression crumbled fearfully and I stroked her cheek. "I know you're scared. And I am too...I'm scared to lose you Natsume. I love you more than anything." Those blasted tears kept spilling down her cheeks, no matter how often I wiped them away. "Let me take care of you and be there for you…you won't regret it."

"Yes I would," she whispered in a hoarse voice. "I…already have."

I stiffened as I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I can't do this, I'm sorry." She gently pushed me back as she sat up. I didn't want to lose that closeness so I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her close. She pressed a hand against my chest to keep her distance. "Look Dei...you're a good friend and all but... I don't know. Right now...I don't know how I feel..."

"I think you do," I said. "In fact I _know_ that you do."

She drew back as she pulled her kimono close around her. Her gaze lowered as she spoke. "I'm sorry…but you're too good for me. You're innocent and naïve and I wouldn't change that for the world. That's why…I won't bring you down to my level."

"Why are you so down on yourself?" I asked sadly as I stood up. "Why can't you see how amazing you truly are?"

She was silent for a long time and each second she didn't speak felt like an eternity. "It's over," she said quietly but firmly. "I don't want to see you ever again."

Her stoic, heartless tone knocked the wind out of me. Her gaze remained glued to the floor as her eyes glazed over. She was shutting herself away from me, giving into the layer of lies she so often hid behind. I reached out for her but she pushed my hands away. She looked at me with heartbroken devastation, tears in her eyes again. "I'm sorry…I really am."

It wasn't supposed to be this way. She was supposed to admit her feelings for me as we made love. It should have been a new beginning for us…not the end. I shook my head in disbelief. "You don't mean that…you can't!"

Her beautiful face contorted with grief and shame. Her mouth twitched as she struggled to find her voice. "Goodbye…Deidara…"

Then she turned and ran from the room, her sobs echoed throughout the hall. I remained rooted there, my hand stretched out still. "NATSUME!" I screamed after her. But she didn't come back…and I knew then she wouldn't. It was over…our friendship couldn't survive this. How could I go back to how things were? Tonight we crossed the threshold with our hearts on the line. How could I look at her without remembering how her body felt pressed against mine? Or look at her lips without wanting to taste them again? I sighed and collapsed back onto the couch. I felt numb at first as my heart broke. As the reality and finality surfaced I cried into my hands. I didn't want to lose her…I couldn't afford to! She meant everything to me! "Why..?" I whispered aloud. "Why did you leave? What have I done…to make you distrust me so, hm?"

"Try not to take it so personally," a voice said softly over my shoulder.

I jumped to my feet with a cry of surprise. I hurried wiped my tears on my sleeve. "Ryo-san! What are you doing here?"

"Just going over my speech," he said as he held up a piece of paper. "Reiko wanted me to say a few words so I was practicing."

I flushed red. "How much did you see?"

"I was here before you two…so pretty much the whole thing," he said sheepishly

"_And you didn't tell me?"_ I hissed at him, could I be more embarrassed?

"There never seemed to be an opportune moment," he shrugged. I turned to leave but he caught hold of my shoulder. "I'm sorry it didn't work out between you two…really I am."

I sighed and hung my head. "I don't get it…I know that she loves me but why did she run away?"

"She said it herself; you're too good for her so all you have to do is prove her wrong."

I frowned. "Prove her wrong? Why would that change anything?"

"Because she thinks you're too goody-goody. She doesn't want a saint. All of her boyfriends, me included, have always been considered 'bad boys.' Girls like the thrill of danger mixed with unbridled passion. It helps keep the relationship exciting and that's what she wants. You goody types mean well but soon become boringly stable and dull. She's looking for more than that."

I looked a little skeptic. "I dunno…I mean if all she wanted was for me to change-"

"She couldn't just ask you to, you idiot," he groaned as he rolled his eyes. "It's not her place to ask that."

Well that made sense. I looked towards the door as I thought about what else she'd said. _You're innocent and naïve and I wouldn't change that for the world. _"She likes me the way I am."

"Of course she does," he reassured me as he nodded. "You're a good friend; steady and reliable. But you don't want to be her friend, you want to her boyfriend. In that case the rules change dramatically. If you really want her, you have to play by her rules and be the kind of guy she's attracted to. Cast aside the goody two shoes image and be the bad boy she wants."

I fidgeted as I looked away. "I'm not sure that's a good idea. I mean I don't want to get into trouble."

"And you won't have to, that'll be the beauty of it," he smiled. "There's an old academy prank we used to play on the younger students. We used to make them steal something from the Tsuchikage's office."

My eyes widened. "How the heck will that not get me into trouble?"

"The Tsuchikage knows its all done in good fun, especially since he went to same academy back in the day. He's familiar with the initiation pranks."

I frowned uncertainly. I've met the Tsuchikage. He didn't look like the kind of guy who had a real big sense of humor.

He pulled out a facemask that had some kind of faded important-looking emblem on it. "Just wear this; it has the school's crest on it. That way anyone who sees you won't mistake you for a thief."

I hesitantly took it. "Even the guards?"

"That's where the challenge comes in," he said with a smirk. "It would be too easy if you could just waltz right in and take something. Besides, they have to save face too. They don't want to look like push-overs. Still, once they get a good look at that mask, they'll go easy on you."

I looked skeptic and he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and whispered close to my ear. "Look its real simple. You go in, steal a red scroll, and bring it to me. Then some minor charges will be run up, for appearance only and later discreetly dropped. Natsume will realize just how bad you are and will change her mind for sure."

"I don't know…" I said softly.

"You want to be with her, don't you?" He countered and I nodded. "Then you do whatever it takes," he said firmly.


	16. Chapter 16: The Untold Story of Betrayal

[Deidara's Point of View]

I went home to change my clothes. I could hardly pull off a stealth attack dressed so formally. I dressed all in black and as I secured the face mask under my eyes, my hands trembled. I drew a shaky breath. Despite Ryo's assurance of the harmlessness of this, part of me was still worried. Was this really a good idea? Would Natsume really approve of it? My gaze drifted down to a picture of us on the dresser. I picked it up and looked at it closely. The heartache continued to torment me. Just to think that a few minutes ago I had come the closest I've ever come to having her; not just physically but emotionally as well. We'd been in sync; one in the purest sense. Why did it have to end?

_No_, I thought firmly as I put it back in its place. _It hasn't ended yet. I still have this one chance to impress her. Ryo-san is right, if I love her I have to do whatever it takes. _The hour was late, close to midnight, as I made my way to the Tsuchikage's office. The objective was simple: overpower the guards, locate a red scroll marked "K", and rendezvous with Ryo. It was going to work. It had to. The guards sensed my presence before my first attack. They surrounded me and demanded to know my business. I'm sure the fact that I still wore my Shinobi forehead protector was the only reason they bothered to interrogate. I wasn't sure what to say in response. I thought I'd be able to sneak in first before confronting anyone; perhaps that was naïve of me. These men had the responsibility of protecting the Tsuchikage, that role was not to be taken lightly. I had previously decided against using my Explosion Kekkei Genkai. For one thing they were fellow Shinobi, not my enemy; and for another such an attack would only attract attention. I didn't want that. I turned towards the leader just as the clouds parted to reveal the moon. We were all bathed in its eerie glow and their eyes widened when they recognized the emblem on my face mask.

"Nightshade!" He choked out fearfully. "Bring him down at once!"

I started in surprise. So much for them going easy on me. Still resolved to not harm them I fought quickly and efficiently. Their attacks were aimed to kill and I had several close calls, more than I care to admit. It took considerable concentration to fight and defend at the same time, more of a challenge than usual. Then again these guards were ANBU, they were superior Shinobi. I managed to knock a few unconscious and then disappeared deep underground. Familiar with that technique, they quickly concentrated on unearthing me. While they were busy with that I managed to resurface inside the building. There were several ANBU inside as well, but these were clearly back-up and not as alert. No doubt they relied on the efficiency of the other team to follow through. Such laziness wouldn't save them. I rolled a couple of smoke bombs by their feet. It ignited just before they noticed something was going on. They sank to the ground unconscious before a cry of warning could escape their lips. Outside I heard the original team engage in combat with the clone I had left behind in my place. With any luck it'd take a couple of minutes before they discovered the deception and came inside to search.

I met no further guards as I made my way up to Tsuchikage's main office. My breath was slightly ragged as I walked. It had been an intense skirmish and this was supposed to be a harmless school prank? I had serious doubts about that as my stomach knotted nervously. And what about the intense fear on that ANBU's face…what have I gotten myself into? Something was wrong but regardless I've come too far to back out now. The goal was in sight and nearly complete. I paused outside the room to inspect the lock. It was a standard one so I easily picked it. Once inside I went to the back of the room. According to Ryo's directions the scroll was located in special vault. I don't know anything about cracking safes so I resorted to my Kekkai Genkai, using it in a concentrated amount. The blast had to be strong enough to open the door without destroying the scrolls inside.

I succeeded and it swung open. There were several scrolls inside, at least a dozen and all of them red. As I carefully handled and inspected them, I noticed how old they looked. The paper was thin and brittle, these must be ancient. I found the correct one and carefully stowed it away in my weapons pouch. I heard voices downstairs. "It was just a clone! Search the perimeter! He could be anywhere!"

Now with my task complete, I slipped out the window and down into the alley. With the ANBU searching inside, no one noticed me escape into the darkness. I was relieved that it was all over. In a way it had been exhilarating to go against the best and survive. I was more talented than I'd thought and rightly felt smug about it. Ryo was waiting for me at the Connector, where all the alleys in Iwagakure connect. It had seemed a strange place to rendezvous but there was no way I'd be admitted to the mansion dressed like this. Ryo had insisted that time was of the essence so I hurried to be on time. That skirmish had taken longer than I had anticipated. After all I wasn't planning on encountering so much resistance.

Up ahead I saw Ryo cloaked in black with Uchida. I hailed them as I approached. Ryo bowed his head in recognition and held out his hand. "Did you succeed?"

I nodded as I pulled out the scroll and handed it over. "Yes but it wasn't as easy as you'd said it'd be."

"I'm sorry to hear that," he mumbled dryly as he looked over the scroll. Then he grinned from ear to ear. "You did very well Deidara-kun." He gave it to his assistant for safe-keeping and then suddenly punched me in the face.

I stumbled back into Uchida who easily restrained me. He was much stronger than he looked and I was considerably weakened from my earlier fight. He forced me down to my knees and Ryo laughed overhead. "What are you doing, hm?" I spat at him.

"You're such an idiot," Ryo scoffed. "Still I am most grateful to you. I'm no Shinobi so it would have been impossible for me to steal the scroll."

"You tricked me into stealing it for you?" I growled at him as I reddened with shame. I can't believe I didn't see this coming. I hated myself for being so naïve. I should have known better.

"Yes," he said simply as he folded his arms across his chest. "I'll make a fortune selling this Kinjutsu to the enemy."

My heart palpitated at the word. A Kinjutsu was a very powerful jutsu that was always forbidden for a reason. This wasn't a matter of simple theft…this was treason in the highest sense.

Ryo smirked. "That's right. You'll hang for this crime. And since you've been seen wearing that mask you've now been associated with Nightshade, a local terrorist group. There will be no mercy for you now."

"WHY?" I screamed at him as I struggled to break free. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?"

He narrowed his eyes keenly as his expression grew serious. "Revenge," he growled softly.

I frowned. "Revenge? Against Iwagakure?"

"No against you."

I started at this. "What do you mean?"

He crouched down and grabbed a hold of my collar. "For making a fool out of me when I tried to take what was rightfully mine. Natsume belongs to me and no one else. I won't let anyone else have her."

"Have you lost your mind?" I asked incredulously.

"With the money I'll make from this scroll I'll be able to run away and take Natsume with me."

I glared at him. "She'd never go with you!"

"Not initially no," he admitted with a smirk. "But I've always been able to make her see things my way. She won't resist for long."

I trembled with rage. "So this whole time…everything you've done…was just a ruse? You tricked me into trusting you so that you could talk me into this stupid stunt?"

"Spot on," he laughed. "It didn't take me long to either. You really are an idiot."

He laughed in my face as he continued to mock and taunt me about how Natsume would never have fallen for a guy like me. His possessiveness of her infuriated me. What right did he think he had to take her back? But above all I was furious at how he'd tricked me. When this comes out, my name will be dragged through the dirt; my honored reputation would be ruined. There would be no recovering from this; I'd spend the rest of my life in jail. I'd rot there while he seduced Natsume, taking advantage of her again…making her his. I was tormented by the thought of him having his way with her…making her scream for more…No! That can't happen! I won't let it! I won't let him hurt Natsume!

My temper exploded as I twisted away from Uchida and thrust my hand against Ryo's chest. His eyes widened fearfully just before I blew him to bits with my Explosion Release. I slammed my bloody fist into the ground and screamed in frustration. My chest heaved as I started to calm down. Then I stared at the bloody stain on the ground as I slowly realized what I had just done. I had been so caught up in my anger that I hadn't been thinking rationally. Now I've killed out of anger…it had been nothing short of murder. I paled considerably. "Oh what have I done?" I croaked out.

"What you were meant to do all along," Uchida's voice purred behind me.

I panicked as I whirled around to face him. I had forgotten all about him. He stood casually with a pleased look on his face.

"What do you mean, hm?" I asked worriedly.

"This is just the first step on a long journey for you," he said smoothly as he narrowed his eyes keenly. "You were meant to be greater than a simple artist."

"I'm not a simple artist!" I snapped at him, insulted that he'd speak so lightly of my art.

"It is in its current form," he gently contradicted as he pulled out the kinjutsu scroll from his pocket. He held it out towards me. "Use this and you'll achieve greatness…greater than mortal man can comprehend."

I drew back fearfully. This didn't make sense at all. First Ryo had betrayed me and now his assistant wanted me to use the Kinjutsu? Uchida gazed calmly down at me with a superiority I've never seen in him. Before he was so docile, so subservient…only his determined voice had betrayed his actions. Now it appeared that he was showing his true colors. I shook my head from side to side. "No! I've had enough to this! I'm-"

"You'll what?" He calmly challenged. "Where will you go now? You are recognized as a terrorist, stole a kinjutsu, and murdered Ryo Watanabe. There is no going back for you now." I lowered my head with shame and he continued on. "There is nothing for you here. You'll be hunted down for the rest of your life. Your punishment will be great and terrible as you are tortured to death. Hanging is for common criminals…which you are not."

"I'm not a criminal, hm!" I snapped at him. "I'll just return the scroll and tell them it was all just a big misunderstanding!"

"You foolish boy," he scoffed under his breath. "You really think they'll accept your apology? It's over for you. You will die if you stay here."

He was right. The crime had been committed and even if I was acquitted, there was still the stain of Ryo's death on my hands. There was no going back. I stiffened as he crouched down before me and held out the Kinjutsu again. I swallowed nervously and pushed it away. "I don't want it."

"No," he agreed. "But you will need it."

I looked at him curiously. "Who are you really?"

He smirked gently. "I've used several names over the years, but in the end I'm no one."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I don't want to be any one," he said seriously. "So my real name is of no significance. A new dawn is rising; the Shinobi World as you know it will change. If you want to be a survivor…if you want to be of any true worth…you will break this seal."

"I don't want it," I repeated as I backed away from him. Something about this man scared me. Despite his calm composure I sensed darkness and intrigue. I also had the feeling that he'd meant for me to use the Kinjutsu from the very beginning. It wouldn't surprise me if he had given Ryo the idea in the first place. Perhaps he had played off of Ryo's desire for revenge who in turn played off of my desire to be with Natsume. _Natsume_! I remembered with horror. _What will she think of me now?_

Suddenly his dark eyes turned blood-red. Was this some kind of ocular jutsu? I found myself unable to look away from his hypnotic gaze. "Take it…" he said firmly as he held it out. "Use it…"

My head felt fuzzy as my hand slowly rose to accept it. It was almost like he was in control of my movements. I didn't want this scroll, it wasn't worth the trouble and yet my hands broke the seal and opened the scroll. The ancient calligraphy on the scroll glowed and I suddenly felt a powerful jolt shoot through my body. I instantly dropped the scroll as I screamed. Unimaginable pain racked my entire body but concentrated on three parts especially. My chest…my hands…burned as if something inside was forcing its way out. The pain was more than I could bear and I was convinced that I was about to die.

Uchida stood up and watched impassively as I writhed in agony. "One day…you'll thank me," he said softly.

At last the pain subsided and I lay on my back gasping for air. My head reeled, my body ached terribly, and my chest heaved as I struggled to breathe. My eye-lids fluttered as I fought against the urge to pass out. Uchida helped me sit up and I pressed a hand against my throbbing forehead.

And that's when I saw it…a crease on my hand that wasn't there before. I could see it beneath the blood on my palm. To my horror it opened to reveal teeth. A long tongue snaked out as it made a faint hissing sound. I screamed and shook my hand to shake it off. But it wouldn't. It couldn't because…it was _part_ of my hand. I quickly checked my other hand and was startled to see another one.

"Magnificent, aren't they?" Uchida chuckled sadistically.

"What are they?" I asked fearfully. "What's happened to me?"

"This is part of the Kinjutsu," he explained methodically. "The scroll will give you more detail but basically it gives you the ability to knead chakra into clay. It will _literally_ make your art come to life. Now combine that with your Explosion Release…just imagine the effect you will have on your enemies."

I didn't really process any of that. I still felt lightheaded from the whole ordeal. None of this made sense. It had to be a dream…a terrible nightmare that I'd soon wake up from. Uchida looked over his shoulder. "The ANBU will be here soon. You will have to face them again."

I chuckled grimly as I slowly shook my head. "No…it's like you said before…its over."

"Not yet it isn't," he said firmly as he pulled me to my feet. "You have work to do."

I tried to shake him off but his red eyes gleamed, penetrated my soul, and all thoughts of resistance left my mind. Instead other thoughts, ideas, and orders filtered through my mind. I now knew what he expected of me and I felt sick to my stomach. Was he really going to force me to do all that? "Leave it all behind Deidara-kun," he purred. "None of it matters now. Make your mark on the world. Make them fear you and your eternal art."

My movements were sluggish as my body moved on its own again. Gripping a kunai I slowly dragged it across my forehead protector. My betrayal was now complete. _Heaven help me and Natsume forgive me_, I thought miserably to myself.


	17. Chapter 17: Regret

[Natsume's Point of View]

I ran home crying as my heart broke. It was all my fault. I should have tried harder to resist him but his tenderness over-whelmed me. It had been my weakness for a long time as well as the reason why I couldn't let him go. He made me feel special…like I was someone worth loving. His gentle passion spoke volumes about his kind disposition. His loving touch combined with his sincere words touched my heart more than anyone ever has. I have no doubt that he meant every word. When he pressed me into the couch his intentions were clear, he wasn't a boy anymore. He was seventeen, nearly a man. It was obvious that he was still a virgin, something that greatly surprised me. You'd think with all the fan girls he's acquired the opportunity would have presented itself.

But it was obvious by his gentleness how much he loved me. He also wasn't the kind to use honeyed phrases to impress me. He was frank and honest, something I've come to admire in him. Everything he said about me was right…even about how I really felt about him. In the heat of the moment I realized just how I felt about him. I did love him…even though I had tried hard to resist his every advance…I had still fallen for him. When did that happen? _How_ did it happen? How did he know me so well despite my attempts to keep him in the dark?

But in the end do the answers really matter? I still couldn't have him. I didn't deserve him. Someone like me…doesn't deserve a samurai in shining armor.

When I got home I ran straight to my room and threw myself on the bed. I cried into my pillow until I couldn't cry anymore. But even when the tears had come to an end, my heartache didn't. I don't know when it will either. How will I ever face him again? Why did I let things go too far? I feel like such a fool. Now I have truly burned everything I once held dear. It was all over now. Thoroughly exhausted, I fell into a fitful sleep.

Later I was startled awake by an explosion that shook the foundations of the house. I flew out of bed and raced to the window. In the distance the city was alight with red flame and terrible smoke. There was panic as people fled into the streets with their belongings. It wasn't an orderly evacuation; the crowd was frantic as they ran in all directions. Shinobi and ANBU raced towards the disaster as officers shouted commands. I wonder if Deidara is among them, answering the call of duty. Wherever he is…I hope he's safe. Another explosion erupted, much closer this time. The ground shook so terribly that I fell to the ground. Dad burst in through the door. "Natsume! We must leave!"

"What's going on?" I asked as I scrambled towards him.

"I'm not sure," he admitted. "Something about a terrorist. Anyway we have to get out of here!" He grabbed a hold of my hand and together we ran outside. Then he unexpectedly let go and pointed towards the main gates. "You go on ahead; I'll catch up with you."

"What are you talking about?" I panicked. "Where are you going?"

"I'm not leaving without Chieko!" He said firmly as he shouted over the commotion.

All around us screams of terror combined with the earth tremors painted an Armageddon-like scene. I was scared like I've never been before. I couldn't let him go alone. I was afraid that he'd never come back. "I'm not leaving without you!" I shouted back. "So let's find her together!"

He looked ready to protest but instead shut his mouth and nodded. We dodged and weaved through the crowd. Progress was slow as we fought against the steady flow of traffic. There was no order in any of it, no shinobi were in place to facilitate a proper evacuation. It was every man for himself. Some people had taken possessions with them but most didn't. The explosions seemed never-ending; shaking the ground as it cracked under the pressure. I lost my footing, tripped, and fell to the ground. A few people trampled me in their haste until Dad shoved them back. He wrenched me to my feet. "Are you alright?" He asked worriedly.

I pressed a hand against my right arm and hissed in pain. I pulled my hand away to find blood on my palm. He paled but I quickly reassured him. "I'll be fine, it's just a scratch."

He took hold of my hand and we pressed on. Chieko's apartment was closer to the center of the city so we had to watch our step. This area was deserted so we were able to increase our speed. When Dad saw her up ahead he let go of my hand and bolted towards her. I made to follow after him when a huge shadow swept over me, temporarily blotting out the full moon. I stopped and looked up with wide eyes. A giant white bird flew overhead. There isn't a bird like that in Iwagakure. I must have been mistaken so I rubbed my eyes to clear my vision. When I looked again it was still flying with its magnificent wings stretched out across the night sky. I frowned as I narrowed my eyes. That bird…its design…looked terribly familiar. It looked like one of Deidara's creations. But surely that was impossible. I then noticed something on its back. It was a person with arms out-stretched and head thrown back triumphantly. "Why do you all run away? Don't you recognize art when you see it?" A male voice laughed hysterically. "You have to _feel it_ to appreciate it! And true art…is an EXPLOSION!"

He threw something down and another explosion rocked the surface so violently that I was blown backward. I hit a brick wall and crumbled to the ground. I lay on my back as my head ached and my vision spun. What was going on around here? Who was that psycho? Dad and Chieko helped me to my feet. "Are you alright?" He asked.

I groaned as my eye-lids fluttered closed. "I'm…not so sure this time."

He carried me in his strong arms as we hurried away. The explosions blew hot air against our backs as the ground trembled beneath our feet. Would the Shinobi be able to stop the terrorist before he destroyed the entire city? Once outside the main gates I assured him that I felt well enough to walk. Then we talked about where to go next. Dad and Chieko wanted to go to Shimizu but I suggested going to Kiyomizu. I didn't want to be too far from Iwagakure. I wanted to be sure that Deidara was safe.

Just then Tamotsu and his wife hurried over to us. They were frantic with worry but seemed otherwise unharmed. Masanori pulled him in for a hug. "I'm glad to see that you are well, my friend," he said with relief. "Where is Deidara-kun?"

"I don't know," Tamotsu said worriedly. "Do you know where he is?" He asked me directly.

I shook my head. "No, the last time I saw him was a few hours ago at the Kawano Mansion. Have you checked with Lady Watanabe?"

He nodded with a heavy sigh. "No one has seen him or Ryo-san either."

His wife pressed a trembling hand over her eyes. "My precious son…I just hope that you're safe."

"Don't worry Yukiko-san," Chieko reassured her. "I am sure he is, after all he is an excellent Shinobi. He's probably helping the others subdue the enemy. He'll be fine, you'll see. In the meantime you must stay with us. There is safety in numbers."

They readily agreed and so it was decided that we should travel to Kiyomizu. It was in their best interest to be close to Iwagakure so they could find their son. We had to travel on foot unfortunately because all other means of transportation were over-whelmed with the sudden demand for it. None of us looked back as we walked away from Iwagakure. I don't think any of us could stomach the terrible sight of the city going up in flames. After a while I suddenly had a splitting headache. I stumbled and fell down. I was dimly aware of Dad picking me up and carrying me in his arms again. I rested my head against his chest as I lost consciousness altogether.

When I later awakened, I found myself lying in bed with a thick bandage around my head. I blinked as I looked around. I was in some bedroom with little furniture. The window was open with sunshine coming through. A light breeze filled the room and I recognized the scent of the lake; this had to be Kiyomizu. I pressed a hand against my forehead. It still ached but the pain had lessened considerably.

Just then the door opened and Dad looked relieved. "You're awake now, that's good. You really had me worried back there."

"What happened?" I asked as I started to sit up.

"Don't get up just yet," he said as he sat on the bed beside me. "You have a skull fracture so you mustn't move too much. Just take it easy."

I lay still and closed my eyes as I recalled that terrible night. That bone-chilling laugh echoed through my mind…all that damage and destruction…all for the sake of art? What a psycho. Then my eyes flew open and I looked at Dad. "What about Deidara? Where is he?"

His expression fell as he swallowed nervously. His mouth twitched as he struggled to find his voice. "He's still missing."

I frowned; there was something about his grave tone that worried me. Just then there was a knock at the door and Tamotsu and a strange man entered the room. I didn't know who he was but I recognized the Explosion Corp uniform. He bowed in greeting and introduced himself as Gari. I recognized the name; this was Deidara's superior.

Dad jumped to his feet. "Now is not the time for this! She just woke up! I don't want her recovery to be compromised!"

"Masanori, please," Tamotsu gently pleaded. "She will be fine, her injuries are very minor. We've waited long enough and we have to get to the bottom of this."

"What's going on?" I asked worriedly.

The stranger looked at me sadly. "It's regarding your friend Deidara-kun."

"Is he dead?" I panicked.

He shook his head as he took a seat beside me. "No, it's much worse than that," he said wearily.

My eye widened. "What do you mean?" I asked hoarsely.

"I don't know how else to say this," he said as he ran a hand through his hair. "He was the terrorist who bombed Iwagakure. He stole a Kinjutsu from the Tsuchikage's office and used it to wreak havoc on the village."

I stared at him as deathly silence filled the room. "No," I slowly shook my head from side to side. "That's impossible." His expression was sad and full of grief…just like Dad and Tamotsu's. My breath caught in my throat. "You're lying!" I screamed at Gari. "He would _never _do that!"

"There is no mistaking the evidence," he said as he showed me a picture. I recognized the bird and the figure riding on its back. His face was contorted in a sadistic sneer as he clearly relished the destruction he caused. My hands shook as I started to cry. It was Deidara…but not the one I knew. This wasn't anything like him... I crumpled the picture up angrily and threw it aside, completely disgusted with the image now stuck in my brain.

"I don't believe it! I can't!" I said firmly as I glared at Gari. "I know him! He's not capable of such atrocity!"

Gari rested a hand on mine as he looked sympathetically at me. "He was my friend too. I know how you feel." My bottom lip trembled as the tears continued to fall. He handed me a handkerchief. "I agree that this whole thing is unlike him. He was one of our best shinobi in the Explosion Corps. The matter is being thoroughly investigated and it's been concluded that you were the last person to see him before the crime was committed. I must ask what happened during your last encounter with him."

I blushed like a fool and looked away. "I…that is…uh…"

"Please Natsume-san," he pleaded softly. "I need to know."

I covered my face in shame. "We…we were m-making out in one of the secluded rooms of the Kawano Mansion." It was silent and I was afraid to look at either Dad or Tamotsu. What would they think?

Mature as always, Dad sniggered at this. "About stinkin' time."

"Shut it!" I snapped at him.

He quickly sobered and looked away. I lowered my gaze as I wrung the blanket in my hands. "He was trying to convince me to be his girlfriend."

"I know how fond he was of you," Gari said with a hint of a smile.

"B-but I…" I had a hard time finding my voice. The memory was painful. "I rejected him. I…said-" I suddenly gasped as I covered my mouth in horror and stared into the distance. I was filled with such cold dread. "Oh no…it's all my fault…"

Gari frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I…told him that he was too good for me…too innocent a-and naïve…"

"Are those your exact words?" He gently challenged.

I pressed a hand against my forehead as I thought harder. "I…I said, 'I'm sorry but you're too good for me. You're innocent and naïve and I wouldn't change that for the world. That's why I won't bring you down to my level." I drew a shaky breath. "Then I…told him that it was over between us…and that I never wanted to see him again."

"Oh Natsume…" Dad murmured sadly and I felt sick with regret.

I cried into my hands. "It's my fault, isn't it? I'm the one who made him snap! He was just trying to prove to me that he could be bad!"

"No, it's not your fault," Gari said soothingly as he rested a hand on my shoulder. "He never would go to such extremes to win you over. You were in as much danger during the attack as everyone else was. I am certain that was not it. Now did anything else happen that night?"

I shook my head as I sniffled. "No. I left him behind as he screamed out my name. T-that was the last time I saw him."

Now more than ever I wished that I had stayed behind. I should have spent the night in his intimate embrace and accepted his love even if I didn't deserve it. If I had known that would be the last time I'd ever see him…I never would have left. I even would have risked him discovering my terrible secret. It would have been worth it just to have him…to be with him…I'm such a stubborn fool. When I closed my eyes I could still remember the taste of his mouth, his gentle touch along my skin that sent shivers of pleasure down my spine…but above all I remember his tender words. _I love you Natsume, more than I've ever loved anyone before. I wish that…I could tell you just how much._

He didn't have to. He proved it in everything he did. From preparing the clay beforehand so it'd be ready for me to use when I arrived at the studio to lending a listening ear when he was clearly tired from work. Whenever he looked at me his blue eyes would soften as his lips lifted into a gentle smirk. That kind memory suddenly clashed with the one from that photograph. What a world of difference between them and yet it was the same person. _Oh Dei-Dei_, I thought sadly. _What happened to you after I left?_


	18. Chapter 18: Rebirth

[Deidara's Point of View]

When I woke up I felt woozy, disoriented, and terribly weak. I groaned as I pressed a hand against my pounding forehead. What a nightmare…thank goodness it was only a dream. I frowned when I realized that I wasn't lying in my bedroom. I sat up and looked around warily. I was on a cot in some kind of large canvas tent with a chest, a chair, and some smaller boxes in the corner. I frowned as I rubbed my eyes sleepily. Where was I? What was going on?

Then suddenly the terrible memories of that horrific night came flooding back. The night Iwagakure burned with hellish fire…by my hands… I trembled as I looked down at them. The mouths on my palms twitched as they growled softly, like monsters lying in wait. It made me nauseous just looking at them. I quickly shoved them under the blanket but I knew I couldn't avoid them forever. The Kinjutsu had bonded to my body and was most likely part of my DNA now. I would have them for the rest of my life. Kinjutsu are not like regular jutsu, not many of them can be undone.

I hugged my legs to my chest as I rested my achy head on my knees. Snippets of thoughts…bits and pieces of memories…horrific images…raced through my mind. My resistance to Uchida's order and his over-powering genjutsu…my body moving on its own…people running in the streets, so vulnerable like moving targets…fire…explosion…death…so many deaths. I squeezed my eyes closed as I tried in vain to shut out those terrible unwanted memories. It had to be a nightmare. It had to be! But denial wasn't going to help things now. What's done is done and I have to face the reality that I single-handedly destroyed my hometown.

What happened to my parents? Did they make it out alive? Or were they now just a number on a casualty list? What about my friends? Did I slaughter them as well in my psychotic trance? What about Natsume? Did she- My eyes flew open as my breath caught in my throat as I remembered. I had killed her. Tears sprang to my eyes as I remembered her flying back, slamming into that brick wall, and crumpling down lifelessly to the ground. My heart ached with such terrible pain that I couldn't breathe. I killed her...I flopped back down on the cot and curled up on my side. Tears streamed down my face and soaked the pillow. What have I done? How did things spiral out of control so quickly? I only wanted to prove that I'd do whatever it took to impress her…and then killed her by accident. I hated myself as I cried bitter tears of regret. I'll never forgive myself.

Just then the fabric shifted as the tent flap was raised, letting sunlight in. "Hey, you awake yet?"

I quickly wiped my tears with my sleeve and looked over my shoulder to see a kid a little younger than me enter inside. He wore a navy uniform with the group's insignia around his waist. He had scruffy red hair and mischievous brown eyes that lit up as he smiled widely. "Ah you are! Fujihara-sama will be pleased."

I frowned as I sat up. "Where am I?"

He held his hands out wide. "You're in the Nightshade Encampment, Main Division. Welcome friend."

My frown deepened and my eyes narrowed as I was momentarily confused. Then I remembered that after the destruction of Iwagakure I had flown east for a while before touching down in the heart of the Ishii Mountains, just outside some camp. Once I dismounted from the clay bird and my feet touched the ground, the genjutsu had been released and I fainted dead away. Why did Uchida lead me here? His words echoed in my head: _A new dawn is rising; the Shinobi World as you know it will change. If you want to be a survivor…if you want to be of any true worth…_Just what was he after and what part did I play in that plan of his? I don't like the idea of being somebody's pawn. Odds are he'd only keep me around as long as I was useful and then dispose of me afterwards.

"You must be hungry," the teenager interrupted my troubled thoughts. "Are you feeling well enough to grab some grub?"

I hung my head and shook it. My health wasn't really the issue. I just didn't want to face whatever was out there.

"I understand," he said sympathetically. "I'll report to Fujihara-sama and then bring back some food." He turned to leave and paused as he lifted the flap. "I was homesick too at first but you'll like it here."

I looked up at him curiously and he smiled gently as he left. I wonder why he said that. He seemed nice enough so what was he doing here in a terrorist camp? I swung my legs over the side of the cot as I clasped my hands together. I had to calm my mind and think about my options. What should I do now? I hated the idea of sitting around waiting for someone else to decide my fate. I was no longer under the genjutsu and Uchida was nowhere around so I was free to make my own decisions. With that enlightening thought I jumped to my feet. I was going to make a run for it. Determined, I hurried towards the exit. But just as I reached for the flap, it opened of its own accord.

I jumped back as a broad muscled man with shrewd eyes and a heavily scarred face entered. Looking resplendent in polished armor he looked down at me with superiority. "So you have awakened at last," his gruff voice said. "I must admit that I am very impressed by your work. I can hardly believe someone your age has such destructive power. Indeed you will be a valuable asset to this organization."

I opened my mouth to decline but suddenly my body was seized by some unseen power. I was forced into a bowing position and my mouth opened. "Thank you sir, I am most honored by your acceptance."

Then the power left as suddenly as it came and I was left to myself again. I stared down at the ground in horror, what had just happened? Then Uchida's voice drifted through my mind. _You _will_ follow the course set out for you…whether willingly or forced. Your place is here until you are ready. Prepare yourself, young Deidara, for your journey has just begun. Do not disappoint me…_

I shuddered involuntarily. He was inside my head, content to control me from the shadows…that didn't sit well with me at all. I felt a cold sense of dread as I realized that I had nowhere else to go. Surely Iwagakure knew I was behind the attack. I was as good as dead if I tried to go home now. I looked up at Fuijhara sadly. He was meant to be my future and this organization my new home? My stomach knotted up as I suddenly found it hard to swallow.

Just then that crimson-haired teenager entered with food. Fuijhara and I sat down to eat. He explained that each member has to prove their worth before being considered a member. He admitted that most didn't go to the lengths I did but he was still very pleased. I nodded numbly at appropriate times, not trusting my voice to speak. It made me sick that he praised me for destroying Iwagakure. How could he delight in such a massacre? Then that must mean that he was equally dangerous. If I told him the truth, he might be insulted enough to kill me outright. I had no choice but to pretend to be that psycho. The performance felt strained but he chalked it up to the fact that I was still a little tired.

"Get some rest," he said as he rose. "Tomorrow we will formally make you a member."

And so began the beginning of the end. Once I was made a member I was put through rigorous training. It served both to make us strong as well as to brainwash us with their anarchist ideals. I wonder if I was the only one who didn't buy into it. But regardless of my personal opposition I was powerless to leave…literally. Every time I found a chance to escape my body seized up until the opportunity passed. Eventually I was forced to accept that I was stuck here for however long Uchida wanted.

That realization cost me many sleepless nights. During the day I was run so ragged that I didn't have time to wallow in self-pity. Shame, guilt, and depression haunted the solitary hours I should have spent sleeping. As if the past wasn't painful enough, I had to continue killing senselessly whenever ordered. All those innocent frightened civilians disappeared and burned up as they screamed for mercy. I still see their terrified faces whenever I close my eyes. I loathed myself and cursed my very existence. How could I continue to live like this? I questioned my life, my purpose, and belief in everything and everyone. What was the point of any of it? There was nothing to hope for now. No family…no friends…no Natsume…it was all gone. Night after night I would lie awake all through the night as my blood-shot eyes bore holes into the ceiling. There is no rest for the guilty…for the truly damned. The loneliness was just as suffocating as the guilt and it was more than I could stand. I was beginning to feel as crazy as I pretended to be. I resigned myself to my hopeless state as I continued to follow orders. If only I could find purpose, something to live for that would make life worthwhile again.

Ironically I found the answer in the most unlikely place. One day I had some politician cornered, my target for the day. I loomed over him as he cowered on the ground before me. My eyes glazed over as I willed my heart to harden. It had to be done; my feeling sorry for him wouldn't save his life. I stuck my hand into one of the clay pouches I wore strapped to my hip. "This is your end," I said solemnly. "I'll give you a moment to make peace with whatever Deity you worship."

He scowled. "If you knew anything about God you wouldn't be a terrorist."

I said nothing. Nothing more needed to be said. I held my hand out and the mouth on my palm spat out a spider. He blinked in surprise and then pointed at me as he laughed.

That was a surprise; it'd never happened before now.

"What do you intend to do with that child's toy?" He scoffed.

I glared at him. "To _kill_ you with it, hm!"

He laughed even harder, tears of mirth streamed down his face as he rolled on the ground and held his sides. My temper rose at his insolence and I screamed at him. "You _will_ respect my art! Fear it! Embrace its glory with your death!"

I hurled it at him and he looked up to see its approach. It crackled with explosive power and the smile faded from his face. As bright light emanated from it, his countenance changed completely. Gone was the mocking as wonder and amazement spread across his face. He opened his mouth to speak but soon he disappeared within the explosion. I stood still, staring at the bloody scorch marks on the ground. Something had changed in that moment…a monumental change. I realized then that his split-second reaction before his death was a sudden change of heart. In the moment just before death he came to realize the true beauty of my art. It was the Art of a Single Moment. In the end I had made him a believer, an admirer of the arts. What a glorious way to die.

From that moment on I determined to make each death achieve that purpose. At last I had found purpose again. It had come down to one thing…the only thing I still found true enjoyment in-my art. My art was my own; my release, my self-expression, and my creative outlet. It was the only thing under my control so naturally I spent hours perfecting it and giving it purpose. Natsume was right; it is the intricate details that make the difference. I liked to think it would have pleased her to see my work come to life. It was intended to be a credit to my former Master. In all other ways I've let her down, but in this one thing…I'd like to have made her proud. The hands I once despised proved extremely useful and adept at animating my formerly lifeless masterpieces. They were invaluable tools and I came to accept them at last. My former deformity was now my greatest asset.

Most of the terrorists in Nightshade were just civilians so I practically shined in comparison and was soon made a lieutenant. I relished the opportunity to lead; it gave me free reign to share my art at my discretion. I took great pride in it. My love for art and the girl who inspired it was now my guiding principle. Nothing else mattered in comparison: not Nightshade, not my terrorist comrades, or even the targets we attacked. I lived for myself and my precious art. Focusing on that helped me rise above my grief…but not my guilt. I had come to accept that I would never be rid of that. If I ever was, than my humanity would truly be lost.

My time with Nightshade lasted for several months. But eventually they were destroyed by a rival terrorist gang and I somehow managed to escape alive. I didn't know where to go next. Uchida's voice in my head had all but faded. Maybe I had escaped his influence or he no longer saw fit to repress me. Either way I was left to myself again with nowhere to go. So I wandered from country to country, keeping away from ANBU and accepting jobs from anyone willing to pay the price for my art. It was a hard life but I found solace in my art and in the memory of my Muse. I regretted her death immensely but that didn't keep me from treasuring her memory. She was such a part of me that I couldn't let her go, even if I had wished to. And that was how I lived for a long time, all on my own. Sometimes it was boring, other times it was exciting and I enjoyed any opportunity to share my art with the world.

And then I met them: three men wearing black robes with crimson clouds. What a ridiculous get-up. Don't they know how silly they look? Even worse they were wasting my time by asking stupid questions about my purpose. Why should they care? It was prying into business that didn't concern them. Then to make it worse they wanted to recruit me into some organization called Akatsuki. I prized my freedom too heavily to be suckered into joining another group. Even worse they weren't impressed by my art, even though they claimed it was needed to further their cause. I'd never share my gift with such ungrateful fools.

The hunched over one seemed annoyed with me, the tall blue one seemed amused, and the third dark-haired one was calm and composed. He stepped forward, his deep voice murmured. "That's enough…I'll fight him."

I frowned as I noticed his dark eyes shift from ebony to blood-red. A chill ran down my spine. I have encountered such eyes once before and the experience had been unforgettable. Those cursed crimson eyes that hypnotize and bend one's will…I gritted my teeth. I won't let him! I'll kill him where he stands before he forces me to join his stupid little club!


	19. Chapter 19: The Journey to Find Herself

[Natsume's Point of View]

When we were allowed to return to Iwagakure, I was shocked to see the extent of the destruction Deidara had left behind. When we had escaped that night it didn't seem that bad. I could hardly recognize the place now. I still can't believe that Deidara was responsible for this. It's inconceivable. Amazingly our house and store weren't leveled to the ground but many others weren't so lucky. Many had been left with nothing. It took a long time for Iwagakure to rebuild but its re-construction seemed to be a unifying experience. Foreigner and native, shinobi and civilian came together as they worked hard to get back what they had lost. I'll admit I admired their optimistic spirit as they took this terrible trial as an opportunity to start anew and begin again.

That was impossible for me though, I had simply lost too much. Only my loss wasn't material but emotional. I had taken Deidara for granted, he had always been there. I didn't realize until now just how much I cared for him until he'd left. Gari had assured me that I wasn't responsible for Deidara's crimes but I didn't believe him. Somehow I was responsible. Maybe if I hadn't said he was too good for me, but rather that _I _wasn't good enough for him, then maybe he wouldn't have felt the need to prove anything. Deidara was prone to be over the top with his emotions, but he'd never go that far either. Something about the whole thing seemed suspicious, but with no leads officials were left to wonder what had happened. As for me…well…I wasn't any closer to figuring it out myself. But I know this much; if I hadn't left that night…if I had stayed with him, this never would have happened.

My heart ached whenever I heard news of Deidara; it seemed like each piece was more terrible than the last and only worsened by gossip. I don't know what hurt more: the fact that I was angry at him for doing these terrible things or that I still loved him. Truly I'm a sucker for punishment and this is why I tried to avoid the mess from the beginning. Love is funny that way though, no matter how much you try to avoid the crap it still has a way of smothering you. Who ever would have thought I'd fall in love with someone like Deidara? He wasn't anything like the guys I'm usually attracted to. I liked the dark-haired, dark smoldering eyes, and deviously passionate type. He was blonde-haired, blue-eyed, and often tripped over himself in his eagerness to please me. It was failure from the beginning and yet how ironic that he still won me over in the end. It had happened so gradually that I'd been unaware of it. But now it was too late, he was gone for good. Even if he was found, he'd be treated as a criminal. We'd never be together again; we'd never get back what had been lost. _I'll always be there for you Natsume, _he'd said. _Just as I've always been. _Who knew the idiot would break that promise just hours later?

When Dad had abruptly moved us to Iwagakure, I hated him for it. How dare he take me away from my friends and the rest of our family? Why should I be punished because Mom had left? Just because she was gone didn't mean that our entire life as we knew it had to end too. That was almost as bad as her desertion. Now I fully understood how he'd felt and now had the heartache that comes with haunted memories. Everything in Iwagakure reminded me of Deidara so much that it was more than I could take. As terrible as I feel, I can only imagine how his parents felt. They must feel even worse to lose their only child…and all because of me. Guilt burned inside me whenever they were kind to me. They should be blaming me, angry at me, resent me or something! It was my fault and they should know that! Yet they stubbornly refused to acknowledge that, and even went so far as to commiserate with me. But I didn't want to, I didn't want to remember the good times we'd had. That only made the pain of his loss more acute. I couldn't stand it anymore and wanted to leave. Its not that I wanted to forget him, I couldn't because he'd been such a part of my life, but I hated the continual reminders. Even art now held little joy for me. We had worked together for so long that it was jarring to do it alone again. Although it was difficult I served out the remainder of my contract to Lady Watanabe but didn't renew it. After pretending for months that I was ok, I was thoroughly sick of the charade and was determined to move out. Dad was very much against the idea of me leaving.

"You of all people should understand why I'm doing this," I said firmly.

He nodded. "I do but that still doesn't make it right." He hugged me close. "What I did was wrong. You won't find peace in a new location…not until you make peace with yourself."

I know that he was probably right but right now I needed a break. I didn't want any more reminders. What I wanted was a fresh start. Having failed to change my mind, Dad appealed to Tamotsu to talk me out of it. Surprisingly he didn't. "You're old enough to make your own decisions and to live your own life." He simply said.

"So you agree with me then?"

He shook his head. "No I do not but I do understand your reasons…" then he looked at me with such gentle eyes…eyes just like his son. "The only thing I can't understand is why you told him he was too good for you."

I lowered my gaze as I looked away. "He always had the ability to see right through me, he's more perceptive than I gave him credit for. And there are…certain things…about my past I don't want him to know about."

He considered this for a moment. "Would it have anything to do with Oijima?" He asked softly.

All color drained from my face as I stared at him. My mouth went completely dry. "How do you know about him?" I asked hoarsely.

"It was part of what my investigation turned up when I was trying to restore your reputation," he murmured softly. "I did not mean to invade your privacy and you have my word that I have told no one."

"Not even Dad?" I asked worriedly.

He furrowed his brow. "You mean to say that he doesn't know?"

I nodded numbly. "I…couldn't bring myself to tell him. What would have been the point? There's nothing he can do about it now."

"So you are worried that if Deidara had known…he would have seen you differently?"

"Don't you?" I gently challenged to prove a point.

He unexpectedly pulled me into a hug. "I am sorry for what's happened to you. No child should _ever_ be exposed that dark side of humanity. I don't think any less of you for it and I am certain that Deidara wouldn't have either."

We always talked about Deidara in the past tense…almost like he was dead to us. He wasn't of course; he thrived as a terrorist before his recruitment into Akatsuki. It was like he was a whole new person, psychotic and hell-bent on perfecting his destructive art. I didn't understand it at all but I knew one thing for sure: I still loved him. Or rather I loved the person he _used_ to be. So what should I do now? I don't know what to make of my feelings but I'm not about to live with his ghost anymore. I was going to have a fresh start, experience new things, and become a better person. I deserved that…especially now.

So I left Iwagakure, taking what money I had earned with me, and set off into the wide world. I wouldn't say I had high hopes and fantastic dreams of adventure…that would be unrealistic even if I did. No, I was determined to take whatever life had in store for me. Deidara was living his own life so I had every right to do the same. I didn't have immediate plans to settle down. Why should I? I was young and single, now was the time to live it up!

I was determined to return to Kirigakure. I was curious to see what had become of my friends and family. I hadn't seen them for over ten years so my visit was long overdue. I took the long route across land, planning on sight-seeing along the way. It was going to be a very long journey but what time was I wasting now? I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted and was excited at the prospect.

Over the next couple of months I had several experiences, some good and some bad. But over all it was a lot of fun. I kept in touch with Dad and was pleased to hear that he and Chieko were going to marry in Shimizu and live there at the villa. I wonder if that was his latest attempt to bait me into returning home. I know he missed me as much as I missed him but I'm an adult now. I'm ready to take this next step in life on my own.

Being on my own definitely helped me mature, especially when it came to guys. I still couldn't get Deidara's words out of my head: _You're the most incredible, most amazing girl I've ever met. Why can't you see that? You deserve better. None of them are good enough for you so why do you put up with them?_

I learned several things from that night. I learned to have the courage to seize the moment and to have the courage to be myself. I also learned to have confidence in who I am both as an individual and as a woman. For the first time I _wanted_ to be the person Deidara had always seen in me, that way when I do find the right guy I'll be ready to accept his love. Inadvertently the old Deidara had set a pretty high standard. I found myself comparing any guy I met to him. I wonder why I did that. Wasn't that just setting me up for disappointment? Especially when the one I _did_ love was currently a villain? Perhaps…but I wanted to find a guy who could understand and appreciate me like Deidara had. Surely I'd find someone who did that eventually. So far I'd had no luck but I refused to settle for second-best let alone second-rate. No more perverted boyfriends for me, those days were behind me now. I didn't need their false promises and lustful caresses to make me happy. I wish I had realized that sooner.

As careful as I had been with my money, traveling under even the best circumstances was expensive. I had to find some way of making money while passing through town. That made anything art-related impossible, I had to have supplies for that. So instead I looked up nightclubs and would audition as a singer. I would sing for a couple of nights and then leave town with my earnings. I did very well at that. It was fun to wear a sexy sequined outfit and entertain an eager audience. I always went by the stage name Golden Eye. Soon I gained a reputation as a performer to the point that whatever town I went through I got offers from every nightclub there. So I'd perform at them all so my progress through town was slower than my current pace but I was also making more money.

And then I met him.

He was part of the audience of the Shimmersilk Nightclub. In his late twenties, he looked terribly out of place with his business-like attire and short slicked back hair. He was probably one of those rich boys who travel the world before settling down. They were terribly annoying because of their spoiled nature. There was something different about this one though, his eyes had a calculatingly mischievous look to them. He smirked gently as he listened to me sing. Everyone one cheered or sang along, he just sat there calmly sipping tea in the middle of this boisterous nightclub. He didn't care that he stood out at all; he was content to do his own thing. And above all he looked strangely familiar and it was clear by his familiar gaze that he knew me.

So afterward when he requested to meet me, I accepted out of curiosity. He pulled out a chair for me and gently pushed it in before sitting down himself. We ordered drinks and his eyes never left my face. I was wearing a revealing outfit but he was solely focused on my face. I liked that, very gentlemanly of him.

"It's a pleasure to see you again Nadeshiko-san," he said with a slight bow of the head.

I started in surprise. I never used my name when traveling. There never seemed to be a reason to. "How do you know my name?"

"You did a commission for my father in Iwagakure. For the Sato Clan remember?"

I thought about it for a moment. I had done a lot of commissions before Lady Watanabe had become my patroness. He chuckled and shook his head wryly. "We were not memorable enough?"

I reddened slightly. "Apparently not."

"Then let's start over, my name is Kazuhiko Sato," he smiled warmly as he bowed his head respectfully.

I did the same. "I'm Natsume Nadeshiko."

He leaned in closer, resting his elbows on the table as he whispered softly. "I must confess that I am a _huge_ fan of your art," his dark eyes gleamed impishly. "I have always wanted to meet you in person. It is a true honor."

"Thank you," I said a little awkwardly. His compliment was generous but it just reminded me of the reason why I'd stopped.

He noticed this discomfort and sat back in his seat with a sympathetic expression. "Was I too forward Nadeshiko-san? I apologize if I was."

"No it's not that," I assured him with a forced smile.

His expression softened. "Is it because of the loss of your apprentice? I understand that you two were very close." I stiffened at this, not sure if I liked where this conversation was going. He looked sympathetic. "I can understand why you wouldn't wish to talk about him publicly. I will not pry into your personal business but I do hope that one day you will create masterpieces again. You have a true talent that you must share with the world."

I smirked. "There are plenty of better artists out there; one less is unlikely to be noticed."

He considered this for a moment as he looked at me thoughtfully. "I noticed."

I looked at him curiously. His eyes are so gentle and understanding, his pale face handsome and sincere. I liked the look of him right away so I stuck around town. We spent a lot of time together, day in and day out, and became very good friends. I did eventually remember him. I had made something for his mother; it was an anniversary present from his father. I vaguely remembered Deidara telling me that their son was shifty with lustful eyes. Kazuhiko wasn't like that at all; on the contrary he only admired me with a gentle tenderness about his countenance. But in Deidara's jealous eyes any guy who looked at me was a no-good pervert. Kazuhiko wasn't actually on vacation; he was working as part of his father's business. "I'm more like his traveling assistant," he explained. "It's a good way to familiarize myself with the family business I will one day inherit."

He was composed, intellectual, and a shrewd businessman; opposite of Deidara in every conceivable way. But he had a playfulness about him whenever he was excited about something and a gentleness about him when he was sincere. In that way he greatly reminded me of Deidara. Despite his admiration of me, he wasn't a flirt. It was almost a shame but I must not be his type. Guys of nobility don't generally settle for girls below their social standing.

One day I was hanging out in his apartment when he caught me drawing some outfit designs for my next performance. He lit right up at the sight and took it from my hand as he praised my pathetic sketches as true masterpieces. I was embarrassed to be caught doodling but he simply loved it. "Truly your talent knows no bounds! Please Natsume-san, you must continue it! You owe it to the world!"

I laughed at his enthusiasm as I took the paper back. "They're just doodles silly; they're not worth getting excited over."

He pouted slightly. "Why can't you see how amazing you truly are?"

My breath caught in my throat and the paper fell out of my hands. Deidara had said the same thing. Even though it had happened a year ago I could still remember Deidara's pleading expression…his sad eyes…his hand stretched out towards me…

Kazuhiko picked it up for me and drew close as he pressed it into my hands. I looked up into his dark eyes that so very close to mine. "Why do you look so surprised when I only speak the truth?" His deep voice murmured softly.

"Kazuhiko-san I…" I swallowed nervously.

"Yes?" He asked as he waited patiently.

I reddened and lowered my gaze. I couldn't bring myself to say anything.

He gently lifted my chin so he could look me in the eye again. His dark eyes softened as he smiled kindly. "You are a very special girl Natsume-san. You're more talented than you realize. An artistic light left this world when you disappeared from the scene. Please don't hide in darkness anymore, embrace the light and return." There was a keen look to his eye as he continued. "That goes for your heart as well."

I sucked in my breath. "What do you mean?"

"You lock your heart up as tightly as you do your artistic spirit. You hide yourself away which is such a shame. Any man would consider himself lucky to be with you…I know that I would." He leaned in and gently pressed his lips against mine.

I was surprised by his tenderness. I had no idea he cared for me like that. He rested his hand against the small of my back as he pulled me in close. I didn't pull away; I was still trying to decide if I liked it. He was handsome, charming, and the perfect gentleman. I liked him…but did I love him? He whispered his love for me as his lips traveled along the side of my neck. I had forgotten how sensitive it was and my pulse raced against his warm mouth. He then kissed along my bare shoulder; his gentle touch was beginning to make me feel light-headed. A soft moan sounded in my throat and I closed my eyes as his lips met mine once again. To be loved and appreciated… that's all I wanted. Kazuhiko could give me that. I cradled his face in my hands as I kissed him back.


	20. Chapter 20: Natsume's Confession

**One Year Later**

* * *

[Deidara's Point of View]

I plopped down in the restaurant booth with a groan. My muscles ached terribly from all that walking. Tobi sat across from me as he sighed wearily. "Haven't you noticed that we do an awful lot of walking in Akatsuki?"

I smirked as I chuckled. "Yeah more or less, hm." I grabbed a menu from the table and looked it over skeptically. "So what here is supposed to be edible?" I murmured to myself.

"You're awful picky Senpai," Tobi scolded as he wagged a finger at me.

I ignored him as I read through the menu. Nothing looked that particularly good but I was starving. Then the waitress came to take our orders and we sat back and waited. I hope it doesn't take too long. We still needed to find a place to stay for the night and it was already dark outside. At least this time we didn't have to sleep outside. The thought of a cozy feather bed with fluffy pillows sounded heavenly!

I gently drummed my fingertips on the wooden table as I looked around. This place was pretty small but then again so was the town. It was nothing more than a rest stop on the way to anywhere else; a little traveler's haven and most likely rich with gossip and news.

"Are you going to see the new art exhibit from Iwagakure?" some heavy-set man asked his friend. "I hear it's going to be quite a sight."

His friend shrugged indifferently. "What's so exciting about art?"

I glared at him. How dare he disrespect such a noble profession?

"But this isn't just any old art," he assured his friend. "This is _Nadeshiko_ art."

"Natsume Nadeshiko? Really?" His companion brightened considerably.

He nodded eagerly. "Yes, she's currently on tour and is here for one night only!"

My eyes widened as I stared at them. I swear that my heart stopped beating. Natsume Nadeshiko…was still alive? Was that even possible? Surely not, but what if it's true? What if she is? I have to know for sure! My heart resumed beating as it pounded loudly in my chest. If she's alive I _have_ to see her again! Then I hesitated and my gazed dropped down to the table. What would I even say to her? What would she say in return? What would she think of me? After all I've done would she want to see me again? I looked down at my hands. Granted I was used to them now and they had turned out to be a blessing in the end. _But still_, I thought as I curled them into fists. _They're far from normal. And that's not the only thing that's changed about me either…I'm not that little boy she knew back then. I'm…no longer innocent and naïve._

"Who is Natsume Nadeshiko?" Tobi asked curiously. I stiffened at this and decided to ignore him. I didn't want to talk about her with someone as annoying as Tobi. "C'mon Senpai, tell me!" He pleaded as he poked me continuously.

I slapped his hand away. "Enough already! I don't know any girl named Natsume Nadeshiko!"

"Ooooooh so she's a girl eh?" He teased and I blushed in spite of myself at my accidental slip. "Was she an old girlfriend of yours?"

"Watch your mouth, hm!" I growled at him. Just then the food arrived and I hoped that the subject would end there.

No such luck though. "So was she, Senpai? Was she gorgeous?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I said firmly as I stuffed my mouth full of food. I just wanted to eat in silence. Tobi complained about how unfair I was being and kept running his mouth. I tuned him out like I usually had to do to preserve my sanity. Sasori was never this difficult. He wasn't much of talker either. I really liked that about him and it was times like this that I missed him. Maybe I shouldn't have been so reckless in leading away the nine-tails jinchuriki then. Maybe if I hadn't left, he would still be alive. I sighed forlornly. I thought he could take care of himself; he was every bit as powerful as me. He should have defeated those kunoichi with ease. But he lost; it happens sometimes…

"You don't tell me anything," Tobi whined.

"Grow up already, hm!" I grumbled. "My past is no business of yours."

"A girl from your past! Even better!" Tobi said with glee. "Go on, tell me more!"

I glared at him. "You're pushing it Tobi. Don't make me lose my temper."

At long last he shut his mouth and turned back to eating. I continued to eat while keeping a sharp ear out for more information. The two men thankfully mentioned the location of her new art gallery. It was in the town hall, which should be easy enough to find. The only question now was how to get rid of Tobi for the evening. I didn't want him to wreak the reunion. When we finished eating I paid the bill. "Tobi, why don't you go on ahead and find us a place to sleep for the night?"

"You're not coming with me?" He asked curiously.

"We need extra supplies before we leave tomorrow," I said simply. "I'll rejoin you later."

He agreed and thankfully left without a word. I swear that voice gets on my nerves sometimes. Once he was out of sight, I went to find the town hall. It wasn't hard to find at all. There was a big crowd gathered, she must be famous or something. I hesitated just outside the entrance. My stomach tied in knots as I grew nervous. Was this really a good idea? I mean I really REALLY want to see her again…but what if she doesn't feel the same way? What is she's moved on and forgotten all about me? Determined to be in disguise, I undid my ponytail and pulled all of my hair back, including my bangs. I pulled on the hood from my travelers robe, just over my eyes. Just in case things don't go well, I don't want her to know that I was here.

I took a deep breath and entered the building. I was simply amazed at what I found. Her work had improved indeed and it was nothing short of perfection. I expected no less from a true artist. Her range had even extended to painting as well. There were paintings of all sizes among statues and sculptures made from the finest clay. Some of them were even for sale, going for huge prices. She was famous after all and making a name for herself. I was happy for her. She deserved that.

There was a huge crowd and I could barely make my way around, let alone see her. Just then I heard her laugh. I stopped in mid-step. It was like music to my ears. I turned to see her talking to some stranger. She looked gorgeous, a true vision. Her golden hair was long and free flowing down to her waist, gone were the black dreadlocks. She wore a white silk blouse, a black mini-skirt that hugged her legs, and a pair of elegant high-heeled sandals. My heart skipped a beat as I stared at her. She was absolutely beautiful, even more so than the first day I'd met her. But there was something different about her though. She looked more confident, gone was the unsure look in her eye. She had an ease about her that comes when you accept who you are. I hurried towards her until I saw a tall man with dark slicked-back hair approach her side and wrap an arm around her waist. She smiled up as him as he tenderly kissed her forehead.

It was only then that I noticed a ring on her left hand. She was married.

I stopped in mid-step like I had hit a wall and I stared incredulously at them. My heart dropped into my stomach and I felt terribly nauseous. No…no that can't be! She can't be married! NO! I never should have come here. I should have stayed away and left the past behind me. I turned around and curled my hands into trembling fists. It hurt to know that she was married, spending every night into another man's arms…in his bed…granted we'd never gotten that far but that wasn't from my lack of trying. In my mind she was my girl and in truth there never had been another. She was the only one for me…but it was obvious that I wasn't the one for her. She had moved on without me and was doing well for herself. I felt like such a fool. What did I expect? That she'd sit and pine for me back home? Of course not, she wasn't the worrying kind. I bet she never even thinks about me, her old friend.

I felt heartbroken and angry. I had to get out of here before I blow something up. Just then I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see her smiling warmly at me. "Good evening sir. Thank you for coming."

My breath caught in my throat. Her beauty was memorizing so I quickly looked away. "Uh yeah, hm," I grunted. "I really must be going though."

"Don't go," she gently pleaded. "You haven't seen anything yet."

"I've seen enough," I said firmly but she gently linked her arm in mine as she led me away. I couldn't refuse her now. She felt soft at my side and I rested a hand on her arm. I loved her salty sweet scent as it filled my nose once more. I was disappointed that she was still taller than me, by a good three inches at least. Her smile was friendly, framed by those full pink lips I used to love to kiss…oh it was too much to have her this close. But I couldn't bring myself to pull away either. If this is to be our last night together I will treasure every second of it.

She stopped to show me one of her paintings. I recognized it as the ocean view from her villa in Shimizu. "This is my favorite one," she said.

"I can see why," I agreed. "You've really captured its majesty. I didn't know you could paint."

I cringed at my slip but she smiled. "It's a fairly recent thing. I am more known for my clay creations but I like to broaden my horizons and push myself to the limit. When I set my mind to something there's nothing I can't do."

I smiled at her spirit. "I'm sure there isn't, hm."

She showed me a couple of other pieces, always asking for my opinion. I praised her work and complimented her. Even though I hated the fact that she was married, I was glad to see her so happy. That made me feel a little better. "I'm glad you like my work," she said in a pleased manner. "You seem to be a bit of a connoisseur when it comes to art."

"I'm nothing of the kind," I laughed. "I'm just a fellow artist, that's all."

"Then you ought to see what I have in storage," she said eagerly. "Only a fellow artist would appreciate it."

I nodded and followed her into a side room. She switched on the light as she closed the door behind us. I looked around in confusion. There was no art in here; it was just a sitting room with simple furniture. I turned around to ask her what was going on. Then she suddenly kicked me in the chest so hard that I flew backward, sprawling head over heels.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR, HM?" I screamed at her.

She towered over me with a thunderous expression. Grabbing me by the shirt, she ripped off my hood. "Why did you destroy Iwagakure Deidara? Why did you leave? ANSWER ME!"

I reddened with shame as I was unable to look her in the eye. "I-it's a long story."

"Then start spilling!" She hissed. "Because I won't let you leave until you tell me!"

"Why do you care?" I growled at her. "You don't care about me anymore!"

"What crap are you spouting now?" She glared at me.

I grabbed her left hand and held it up. "You're married!"

"No I'm not, you idiot," she rolled her eyes. "That's just a cheap plastic ring. The man you saw me with was my friend and manager. Some villages don't welcome single women as legitimate artisans so we're just pretending to be married."

I blinked incredulously at her. "You're…n-not married..?"

Her expression softened as she let go of my shirt and turned away. "No I'm not," she said quietly. She walked away from me leaned against the window sill. She sighed as she rested her forehead against the glass. "Why did you leave?" She whispered as her voice trembled. "Was it because I rejected you…or because you wanted to prove how bad you could be? Was it my fault?" She asked ever so softly. She turned her head and looked at me with such devastation that it knocked the wind out of me.

"No," I violently shook my head. "It had nothing to do with you."

She didn't look very convinced. "How do I know that's not another lie?" she asked, her shaky voice sounded hollow as she looked out the window again. "You once promised that you'd always be there for me…you lied back then too…"

"No!" I protested as I sprang to my feet. "I didn't lie about that, hm!"

"You still left," she said flatly as her hands curled into fists.

"Yes, I know," I confessed sadly. She didn't look at me and remained very still. I approached her from behind and rested my hands on her forearms. A thrill ran through my body to touch her again. To be with her again was so incredible…even if she was upset with me. I could hardly blame her for that. She trembled slightly and I heard her sniffle. My heart leaped into my throat. Was she crying? "I'm sorry Natsume," I said softly. "I didn't mean to."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" She challenged.

"Ryo-san tricked me into stealing that Kinjutsu," I explained. "It was a setup that I stupidly fell for. I had no choice but to leave."

"I don't buy that," she said firmly as she looked at me over her shoulder. "You could have told the truth."

I sighed. "Its not that simple, I'm afraid."

"Life never is, now is it?" She asked sadly.

I carefully turned her around to face me and wiped her tears away with my sleeve. She hugged me tightly. I held her close and rested my mouth against the side of her neck. I'd forgotten how incredible she felt in my arms and how delicious her scent was. "I've missed you Dei-Dei," she whispered. "I've missed you so much."

"Oh Natsume," I whispered back. "I've missed you too."

"Why did you get mixed up in the wrong crowd? That's not like you at all."

Of course she was going to ask that. It was only natural. "It is now," I said dismally. "Lots of things have changed about me…I'm not the boy you knew before."

"I didn't expect you to be," she said as she pulled away. "But I didn't think you were villain material either."

I flinched at that but how else could I be described? I knew I was considered an S-ranked criminal. "I'm just following orders."

"With sadistic glee too," she said dryly as she arched an eyebrow.

"So I enjoy my work, what's wrong with that?" I challenged.

Her face fell. "You enjoy the fact that you're a murderer?"

That shut me up and I looked away as I blushed with shame. Yes I tend to get carried away with my artistic expression and many people have died from it. But did she need to put it that bluntly? "Natsume I…that is…" I sighed. "You just don't understand."

"No I don't," she agreed. "And I probably never will."

I sighed as I hung my head and slipped my hands into my pocket. So that was it then. But what did I expect? It was too much to expect her to accept me as I am. I won't apologize for art; I have the right to express it as I wish. But I am sorry that it distanced us now; I never wanted that.

Then she broke the silence. "But there is one thing I do know."

"What's that?" I asked curiously.

She drew close and adjusted my collar. "That when I look in your eyes I still see that stubborn little hothead I fell in love with years ago."

I stared at her wide-eyed. "Fell in love?"

She nodded as she lowered her gaze and blushed. "Just hear me out ok? Humor me for old times sake. I don't expect you to love me anymore but please…just let me say this once. Then you can leave and I won't stop you."

I held my breath as I waited in anticipation.

Her hands trembled as she rested them against my chest. "I love you Deidara. I have for a long time. I…" her voice caught in her throat. "I was too afraid to act on those feelings then. I was such a stubborn fool, unable to accept your love. Please forgive me."


	21. Chapter 21: Art in its Purest Form

A/N - Special thanks to my Muses Miko and Nyght Elf for their help with ideas. I couldn't have done it without you two!

* * *

[Deidara's Point of View]

I stared at her as my heart pounded in my ears. I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't believe it. "You…love me?" I asked in disbelief, afraid that my imagination was playing tricks on me. I was afraid that this was just a dream and that I'd wake up any second now. What if she was just joking around? But her beautiful shining eye looked directly into mine, her hands still rested on my chest. Surely she felt my heart beat against them. Her closeness was too real to be part of a dream and her serious gaze proved the truthfulness of her words. I knew then in my heart that this was real. Then that means…I looked at her curiously, focusing all of my feelings for her in that wondering gaze.

She only nodded and her blush deepened, giving her cheeks a rosy glow about them.

"Like…you loved me back then and do right now?" I mumbled with my hands twitching at my sides. Oh how I wished to touch her again…

"Yes you idiot!" She snapped as she glared at me, clearly embarrassed. "I said I love you! Why is that so hard for you to understand?" I laughed which made her jump. Now she looked really confused. "What's so funny?"

I grabbed her face and kissed her. She squeaked in protest and tried to pull away but I wasn't about to let her go. She was my girl now and she wasn't going anywhere. I kissed her deeply and passionately. I wanted her…I needed her…and here she was. She stopped resisting as her trembling lips responded with such passion. Her soft body pressed into mine like it wanted to become one with me. She wrapped her arms around my neck as she kissed me back. There was no hesitancy in her passion, no holding back and I knew she was serious about her feelings. I lifted her up to sit on the windowsill as I leaned in to continue kissing her. I fumbled clumsily with the buttons on the front of her blouse. The stupid little things kept slipping through my fingers so in my impatience I ripped it open.

She gasped in surprise. "Why'd you-" Then she groaned as I kissed along her neck. Her chest rose and fell against my lips and I took great pleasure in that. She was mine and I intended to make my claim on her soft skin. Her soft but passionate response made my pulse race so fast that I felt dizzy. I was happier than I've ever been. It was pure euphoria to be with her like this.

Just then the door opened and I looked over my shoulder to see some fat guy standing in the doorway. He stared at us wide-eyed. I'm sure we were quite the sight. Natsume's ruined shirt had slipped off her shoulders and her hands were up the front of my shirt. I stood between her open legs as I leaned over her.

"What's going on here?" He asked stupidly.

"We're in the middle of an auction," I blurted out. "For that…uhh…Sunset at Shimizu painting."

Natsume snorted as she covered her mouth to keep from laughing. The man blinked in surprise as he continued to stare. Then he grinned wickedly as he stripped off his jacket. "Then allow me to place a bid…"

"GET OUT OF HERE!" I shouted as I chased him out and slammed the door behind him.

Natsume laughed so hard that she held her sides. "Oh that was hilarious!"

I made sure to lock the door before turning around. "Now where were we?" I smirked deviously at her as I approached.

"Now just wait a minute," she said as she pressed her hands against my chest to stop me. "We need to talk about this."

I groaned as I pouted. "I don't want to talk."

"Yes I know what you _really_ want, you little pervert," she laughed as she hooked her thumbs into the waistband of my pants and pulled me closer. She looked so deviously sexy, tempting and teasing as always. Only this time her gaze was only for me. "Seriously its just like it was before, you've only got one thing on your mind."

I hesitated for a moment as I looked at her; my hands remained at my sides. "No Natsume…that's not true. Or at the very least it's not _completely_ true."

"What do you mean?" She asked curiously in a hushed tone. I think my stillness caught her off guard.

I ran my hands down the length of her arms and took her hands in mine. "I thought you were dead," I whispered as my voice caught in my throat. "I…I saw you hit that brick wall and I…assumed that..." My eyes filled with tears. To see her was like a dream come true. To touch her again was intoxicating, but to know that she at last returned my love…it filled my empty heart and warmed it to its core. "If I had known that you'd survived…I would have come back for you."

Her expression softened. "You would?"

I nodded as I cradled her face in my hands. I brought my lips close to hers, my breath warm on her face. I looked her right in the eye. "Of course I would. Surely you know just how much I still love you."

"Yeah I sort of figured you did," she teased as she held up her ruined blouse.

"C'mon I was being serious," I grumbled slightly.

"I know," she giggled softly.

"I'm not sure that you really do," I gently contradicted as I kissed her again. My hand ran down her slender back. The way she arched it excited me but I kept my head this time. I had something more to say. "I thought I had lost you forever. To see you again…to taste and to touch you again…I…I'm so very grateful. Second chances don't come very often. Especially for well…someone like me…" I sighed as I rested my forehead against hers. "You've always been the girl of my dreams…and I hate to admit that now I no longer deserve you."

"Don't talk like that," she chided. "I'm hardly a saint Dei-Dei, so don't talk to me like I am."

I chuckled. "Someone as angelic as you could never be tainted."

She lowered her gaze as she drew a shaky breath. "I am though…you only say that because you don't know-"

I kissed her to interrupt her. I didn't want to hear her get down on herself. I couldn't bear that. She's so amazing and wonderful and I can't stand to see her get depressed about things that weren't true. She groaned passionately as I deepened the kiss again. Her grasping fingertips held me tight against her. It gave me pleasure to see how she reacted to my eager touch. It reminded me of that night in that dark room so very long ago. There in the soft moonlight our hearts had beat as one and tonight was no different…only this time there was no going back. "I love you Natsume…please…let me show you…just how much," I whispered against her neck. I loved the fact that her pulse raced against my lips.

"Alright," she conceded breathlessly. "But we can't stay here. We're sure to be interrupted again. Let's go back to my hotel room."

"Are you sure your fake husband will like that?" I teased as I nibbled her earlobe.

She laughed. "He has his own room; he'll be none the wiser."

"Then what are we waiting for?" I grinned as I reached up and unlatched the window. She screamed as we tumbled out of it but I held her close and landed lightly on my feet. The hour was late and the streets were bare as I carried her in my arms.

She hurriedly tried to cover up with her ruined blouse. "Put me down! I feel so foolish!"

"Hey this is supposed to be romantic."

"That's for weddings, you moron," she grumbled. "Besides you don't even know where you're going."

"So tell me already," I smirked. I've missed her witty bite. She really was one of a kind.

"It's that building over there," she pointed up ahead.

"Floor and room number?" I asked as I increased my pace.

"Third floor, room 26. Slow down or you're gonna run right into it!" She squeaked in horror as she wrapped her arms around my neck.

I smirked as I chakra leaped into the air. I landed lightly on the ledge and kicked the window open. "Do you have to make a mess?" She whined as we slipped inside and hurried down the hallway.

I shrugged one shoulder. "I hate waiting for elevators."

She rolled her eyes and giggled. "You're so silly Dei-Dei."

Once we reached her room I set her down and she reached into her pocket for her keycard. Once she unlocked the door we went inside. She switched on the light as I locked the door behind us. She sat on the bed as she took her blouse off and tossed it aside. "You owe me a new blouse. I really liked that one."

"Fair enough, hm," I chuckled as I climbed into bed behind her. I cuddled her from behind, my arms wrapped low around her waist. She looked at me over her shoulder and smiled softly as I gently kissed her shoulder. I've been waiting for this for four years and meant to savor this moment. To be here alone…in her room…in her bed…with her in my arms…was everything I've ever wanted. Tonight I would lose my last shred of innocence as I lost my virginity to the only girl I've ever truly loved.

She turned around and wrapped her arms around my neck. She pressed her sweet lips against mine. I ran my hands along her sides. Her skin felt smooth against my fingertips, making them tingle with anticipation. Her softness enveloped all of my senses. I slowly deepened the kiss and she moaned as she embedded her fingers in my hair, loosing it from its tie. She ran her fingers through my hair as it flowed down my back. Then she wrapped it around her hand and pulled it so that I arched back. I protested at first but then lost my voice as she hungrily tasted my neck. It was sensitive to her full roving lips and my eyes rolled back in my head with pleasure. She made me feel so weak and defenseless; I'm not used to those emotions. I was powerless to her charm as her caress only served to excite me further. Her hand drifted down past my navel, her slender fingers grasped the zipper of my pants and slowly pulled. I gasped and flinched involuntarily. Its not that I didn't like it because believe me, I _REALLY_ did. It was just that I wasn't used to be touched like that. Her hand withdrew and she giggled softly as she looked at me with an alluring gaze. "Don't tell me you're still a virgin."

I blushed. "Is it that obvious?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Seriously what's the hold up? You're like what…nineteen now?"

I glared at her. "What does my age have to do with it, hm?"

"You were always so popular with girls. What's the problem?"

My temper flared up defensively but I couldn't stay angry with her in this intimate position. She looked curiously at me as she waited for my answer; I don't think she meant to upset me. I gently pushed her back against the pillows and knelt over her as I softly kissed her. I looked at her tenderly. "I won't settle for less than the best…and I've never met anyone better than you."

Her mouth dropped open as she stared at me. I chuckled at her surprise. "Why does the truth surprise you? You've always been one of a kind." I kissed down her neck, her chest, and along her stomach. Her body trembled with desire under my lips. Her soft, warm skin tasted incredible and I couldn't get enough of it. She's my girl…she belongs to me and me alone. I raised up and kissed her mouth again. "I love you Natsume."

"I love you too Deidara," she whispered as she arched her back, deliciously pressing into me. Her hands rested low on my hips and then traveled down to squeeze my butt.

I stiffened for a moment at her intensity and then laughed. "You really want me, don't you?"

"No less than you want me," she whispered with a satisfied smirk. "So get on with it already. You said you wanted to show me how much you love me and I'm still waiting…"

I smirked as I lay down on top of her soft body with its fantastic curves. I kissed her hard, exploring the rich depths of her sweet mouth. She groaned with pleasure and her body grew hot against mine as our bodies intertwined along with our souls. At long last…after being apart for so long…we were one. It was art in its purest form, the freedom of intimate expression that warms the heart to its very center.


	22. Chapter 22: The Big Choice

[Natsume's Point of View]

The next morning I was startled to find Deidara sleeping beside me with his arm draped around my waist. I blinked at him in silent surprise. I thought he'd leave while I was sleeping, that's what all of my old boyfriends did. They came to get what they wanted and left when satisfied…it had never been about me. I considered him thoughtfully as he slept. Then again…he was nothing like them. He's always been different, caring about me over himself. And that's saying a lot since his ego doubled once he became famous.

He looked so peaceful in his sleep, so young and innocent again…but images of his sadistic sneer and cruel laughter while in battle ran through my mind. Those terrible news reports on the TV…I wasn't blind to what he had become over the years. And yet last night he was the same as he'd ever been: gentle, considerate, and eager to please. Last night I accepted him at face value and gave him my heart, body, and soul. I love him more than anything and was determined to prove that. But now that the heat of the moment had passed…I was worried. I don't regret anything but I still had doubts that troubled me. Who was he now, a gentle lover or a psychotic murderer? I frowned warily as I bit my lip. I felt conflicted as I knew that he was both. Those hands that caressed me so tenderly have also killed countless others. I can't ignore that reality so where do I go from here? Where do _we_ go from here? I sighed as I closed my eyes and tried to clear my thoughts.

I felt his lips press against mine and I opened my eyes again to see him smiling at me. "You're so very beautiful, hm," he murmured softly. I smirked gently as I snuggled closer. I could worry later; right now I want to enjoy whatever time I have left with him. He carefully rolled on top of me and intertwined his fingers in mine as he kissed me again. "I love you Natsume; I don't think I could ever tell you that enough."

"I dunno, you said it a lot last night too." I giggled as I brushed his long bangs aside so I could see both of his eyes. I love his deep blue eyes and how they soften when he looks at me. Even when he flirted with other girls, he never did that. That passionate look was reserved for me alone and I loved that.

He smirked. "Making up for lost time, I guess."

The silence stretched between us as what we both thought was left unsaid: what do we do now? But avoiding the question did no good, it had to be said. His brow furrowed slightly as my worry started to show. I didn't even bother to conceal it; he would have seen right through me and figured it out anyway. I had no reason to hide things from him now. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to speak.

He rested a finger against my lips and shook his head. "There will be no good-byes this time."

I blinked in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not about to give you now," he said firmly. "We're going to stay together."

I frowned. "But how?"

He hesitated. "I…uh…haven't figured that part out yet," he confessed as he reddened. He always looks adorable when he blushes.

I playfully tweaked his nose. "Always the hopeless dreamer, aren't you? Convinced everything will work out just because you want it to."

"I don't see why it shouldn't," he insisted. "We love each other so why should we be apart?"

"Because we live in two different worlds," I gently reminded him.

He pouted and I giggled as I kissed him. "You can be super cute sometimes."

He chuckled. "And what am I the rest of the time?"

"Obnoxious!" I teased as I pushed him off and sat up.

"Hey! I am not!" He protested. I tried to climb out of bed but he caught me around the waist. He pulled me back down and tickled me. I laughed as I tried to stop him but he was relentless. I tickled him back and we rolled around as we both laughed. Then I noticed a third person in the room, silently observing us as he stood by the bed. He was dressed all in black with an orange swirly mask. I screamed and pointed at him.

Deidara whirled around to face him. "What are you doing here Tobi?" He demanded as he shoved the man back.

"No fair! You threw a slumber party and forgot to invite Tobi?" He asked in a high childish voice. It sounded strained and fake to my ears. "That's so mean of you Senpai!"

I quickly yanked the blankets up to my chin. "You know each other?" I asked incredulously as I stared from one to the other.

"I wish I didn't, hm," Deidara grumbled.

"We're partners," Tobi said cheerfully as he gave a thumbs-up.

"Partners?" I asked in surprise. "As in…gay lovers?"

"OF COURSE NOT!" Deidara snapped, his eyes shooting daggers at me.

Tobi picked up my cheetah-print thong from the floor and held it between his thumbs as he stretched it slightly. "Maybe if Tobi wore underwear as sexy as this he'd be invited next time."

Deidara growled angrily as he lunged at the masked man. Tobi deftly snapped him in the eye with the thong. Deidara cried out in pain as he grabbed his face and fell back onto the bed. I caught him as he fell. The masked man laughed as he beat a hasty retreat out the window.

Deidara made to chase after him. "I'm gonna kill him! I swear I'm gonna-!"

I pulled him back and held onto him. "You can't go out there!"

"Don't try to stop me, hm!" He hissed as he struggled to break free.

"Unless you want everyone in town to stare at your birthday suit I suggest you calm down and stay put!"

"Ah, you've got a point," he mumbled as he reddened and sat still.

I loosened my grip on him and gently kissed his cheek. "I guess you'd better go then."

"No!" He protested as he turned around and gripped my forearms firmly. "I'm not leaving without you!"

"I can't go with you," I said in exasperation. "That would never work."

"Yes it could!" He insisted. "If we both wanted it to!"

"Are you saying _I'm_ the one who doesn't want us to be together?" I accused him as I glared.

"Who's the one resisting?" He shot back.

"I'm being practical!" I shot back as I raised my voice.

"You're being stubborn!" He shouted back.

I opened my mouth to retaliate and he clamped a hand over my mouth. "Wait a minute!" He said tightly, then closed his eyes and took a deep breath in order to calm down. Then he slowly lowered his hand and opened his eyes. "Let's start over."

I nodded. "Good idea."

"I don't want to lose you," he said softly.

I looked sad. "I don't want to lose you either," I agreed. "But how can we possibly make this work?"

"I can't go home; I'm a wanted criminal," he said seriously. "I'm part of Akatsuki now; they'll kill me if I defect. The only way we _can_ make this work is if you come back with me."

"But that's impossible!" I protested. "I can't just follow you around on missions!"

"You won't have to," he corrected. "You can wait for me back at the base."

"So you'd rather leave me behind in a base full of S-Ranked criminals?" I asked incredulously. "How is that any safer? And what about my career as an artist? Why am I the only one who has to compromise? That's not fair!"

He patiently listened as I continued to rant. He watched with the saddest eyes I'm ever seen. At the end he simply nodded. "You're right; it's not fair at all. I'm really sorry but I can't change that. The reality is that I have nothing to offer you, only danger and life on the run. You definitely deserve more than that and I don't blame you if you don't want to come with me." He gently kissed my forehead. "But I still wish you would."

I sighed. "I…I just don't know…"

"I have to leave town by sunset for an important rendezvous," he said softly as he stroked my cheek. "I'll come back for your answer before I have to go. If you're going to leave with me, you have to be packed by then."

I drew a shaky breath as I felt panicky. I didn't want to have to make this choice. He looked sympathetic as he kissed my mouth. "I want you to be happy Natsume, no matter what you decide. I won't be selfish and force you."

He started to climb out of bed but I pulled him back in for another kiss. He chuckled as he kissed me back. But it was a soft one, gentle compared to the passion from last night. He wasn't going to sway my decision, over-whelm me so I would change my mind. That was something Ryo always did…but Deidara wouldn't resort to such dirty tricks. "I'll be back," he reminded me as he successfully pulled away. "Wait for me here."

I nodded and looked down at my hands as he gathered up his things and quickly dressed. What was I going to do? How could I make a decision like that in so short a space of time? I was dimly aware of his good-bye and only looked up as the door clicked behind him. My heart leaped into my throat. I didn't want him to leave! He was only going to be gone for a day…what will I do when he walks away for good? I was filled with such dread. I groaned and held my head in my hands. "Oh what am I going to do?"

Just then there was a knock at the door that startled me. "Natsume? May I come in?" Kazuhiko's voice called through the door.

"Just a minute!" I called back as I hurried out of bed. I scrambled to pick up my clothes but for some reason I couldn't find my underwear or my ruined blouse. That was weird but I didn't have time to search for them. I quickly changed into something else and made the bed. Kazuhiko waited patiently outside and looked perfectly composed when I finally opened the door.

He smiled as he walked inside. "You didn't come back last night so I assume things went well?"

"Yeah, more or less," I said causally as I ran a nervous hand through my hair.

He chuckled as he sat on the edge of my bed. "You forget that we have adjoining rooms with _very_ thin walls. I heard a great many things you probably didn't want me to."

I turned bright red as my gaze dropped to the floor.

He was quiet for a moment before rising and approaching me. He gently rested his hands on my shoulders and lowered them to rest on my forearms. He didn't say a word but from the look in his eyes I could tell he was a little upset. Of course he was; he loves me.

But he also knows that I don't love him, as evident by the fact that I accidentally moaned Deidara's name the one time he kissed me. Of course he was rather put off by that and then I confessed that I still loved Deidara, no matter how irrational it was. I told him about that fatal night and the shame I carried from that experience. Kazuhiko was very understanding and sensitive to my feelings, even if he didn't agree with them. He figured that I ought to at least have the chance to tell Deidara how I felt. _Only then will you be able to move forward with your life. Life is too short to waste on could-have-beens._ So our plan was for me to become so famous that I could afford to tour around the world. Odds were that Deidara would hear about it and come to see an exhibition. And last night he did, even with that disguise I'd know him anywhere. My heart had raced when I saw him and his absolute horror to see Kazuhiko's arm around my waist. I'd gripped Kazuhiko's arm as Deidara turned away to leave. _Take courage, my friend_, Kazuhiko had whispered in my ear. _This is your chance, perhaps your only one. Speak from the heart and you won't regret it._

He was right, I don't regret anything. I was able to tell Deidara how much he meant to me. But where do I go from here? I figured he didn't feel the same way anymore, unrequited love never lasts long. It never occurred to me that he still loved me and would ask me to go with him. I didn't know what to do.

"You look troubled," Kazuhiko asked kindly. "What else happened?"

I pulled away. "He still loves me and has asked that I go with him."

He blinked in surprise and frowned at my silence. "You said no right?"

I lowered my gaze. "I haven't said anything yet. He'll come back at sunset for my answer."

"Surely you're not thinking of going!" He protested. "It's too dangerous! And how do you know this isn't some sort of trick? One night with him doesn't prove his commitment or dedication to you!"

"He wouldn't lie to me," I frowned.

"Are you saying that to convince me or yourself?" He countered.

"I know him better than you do so let me be the judge!" I growled. "He's my best friend and he still loves me!"

"He's also a heartless murderer," he said firmly as he frowned severely. "Don't let your love for him blind you to what he is now. He's not the boy you knew then."

"I know that!" I said defensively.

"But do you really?" He asked softly as his hands lowered to wrap around my waist. "I don't mean to interfere but I'm worried about the suddenness of this. He'll take you away from everything; you'll be cut off from the world completely. By the time he reveals his true intentions, you'll be powerless to escape." His dark eyes softened. "I…I don't want that to happen. You don't need to give up everything for his sake. It ought to be the other way round."

I lowered my gaze as I secretly agreed with him.

"Perhaps…you would consider staying with me instead?" He asked softly.

I cracked a side smile. "That's what I've been doing silly."

He smiled back. "Yes I know but I meant in a more romantic sense."

My eye widened as he kissed my mouth. He had never been this forward since our first kiss. "I also don't want to live with regrets," he murmured, his breath warm on my face. "My feelings for you have not changed, they have only grown stronger. Please Natsume, stay with me…and be my wife for real."

I gasped as I pulled away. "What? I don't….but you…that is…" I growled aloud as I stomped my foot. "I already have a big decision to make and you're making it worse!"

"That was not my intention," he said sympathetically. "But if there is a chance that I could lose you, I will not hold back my feelings."

"Kazuhiko I-"

"Please consider it," he urged. "I could give you everything you would ever want. You'd have my love and my loyalty. You wouldn't have to give anything up either; you truly could have it all."

I lowered my gaze and sighed. His offer was tempting…just like his first declaration of love had been. He was steady and dependable, and I suspect he would make me very happy. I considered my two options, Deidara and Kazuhiko, comparing the two against each other. I like Kazuhiko; he's done so much for me. He helped heal the pain of the past and made me see the joy in art again. I'll be forever grateful for that. He was serious, methodical, and never made an impulse decision (which is why his sudden proposal had caught me off guard). He was practical but almost to a fault though. While he did have a good sense of humor, he didn't kick back and take things easy often. He was very schedule-oriented and at times I found that stifling. That wasn't really my style. Because of his professional attitude I often held back my own flamboyant personality because it clashed with his practical one.

But then again Deidara wasn't perfect, not by a long shot. He has a big mouth, and can be annoying, arrogant, and overconfident. But he was also sweet, sensitive, and considerate. I can see right through him too, I'd know if he was trying to trick me. I didn't have to hold back with Deidara at all, he took everything I did in stride. I felt freer to be me around him. But do I really want to take my life into my hands just to be with him? I can't spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder, worrying about what danger might be lurking in the shadows. And yet…my feelings for Deidara were very strong. I loved him so very much. He knows me so intrinsically that he feels like a part of me. Ever since he left I felt…well…incomplete. Ugh…that sounds so lame and fairy tale-ish to say, but its true. The closeness we shared in the darkness as we made love, it was liberating to finally express how we really felt with each other. It was the closeness I've been craving for so long…how could I turn away from that?

Kazuhiko silently waited for my answer. I sighed as I looked up at him. "I'm sorry Kazuhiko…but I can't marry you."

He looked crushed. He opened his mouth to protest but snapped it shut again. He wrung his hands restlessly as he tried in vain to compose himself. I was surprised. I've never seen him act so agitated. I reached out to take his hands in mine and gently kissed his cheek. "It's for the best…"

"Don't dismiss my feelings for you so easily!" He interrupted me. "For they are just as valid as yours."

He was right. I shouldn't try to console him in an attempt to lessen the blow. He sighed and pulled me in for a hug. "I don't want to lose you Natsume…not to someone like him."

"That's not your choice to make," I said softly. "It's mine."

"I know," he conceded in a whisper.

We were silent for a time as he held me close. I felt indifferent about it; he was just a friend to me. Liking him isn't the same as loving him. I don't want to settle with someone out of comfort or so they could provide for me. I didn't need Deidara to do any of those things either. I don't need his protection; all I wanted was his love. And I knew I would have that in abundance.


	23. Chapter 23: Selfish or Selfless?

[Deidara's Point of View]

Last night had been incredible as we made love. It brought us closer than ever as our souls resonated and our hearts beat as one. She was my girl at last, mine in every sense of the word. The pleasure I experienced was nothing compared to her breathy voice as she told me how much she loved me. "I've never felt this way about anyone," she whispered as her lips tickled my ear. "I love you Deidara, from the very depths of my soul. Please…tell me that you'll never leave me again," she pleaded as she grasped me tightly. "Even if it's a lie, its one I need to hear."

"I'll never leave you," I promised as I kissed her passionately. "I swear I never will. And this time…it's the truth."

So naturally I thought she'd be thrilled at the prospect of coming along with me. Instead she stubbornly insisted that it was impossible. I was really confused. Isn't that what she wanted? Was she having second thoughts now? Or did I do something that made her change her mind? I didn't want to leave, especially when she looked so distraught, but I didn't want to risk Tobi returning again. As I walked down the street, I bowed my head in thought. Why was she suddenly so reluctant? Was it because she worried about my murderous reputation? Or was it something else? She did express concern about living in the Akatsuki Base but I'm more than capable of protecting her; besides it's not like she'd go wandering around alone anyway.

Was she worried about giving up a successful art career? She didn't have to worry about that, I'd never ask that of her. As an artist I know how vital it is to the creative soul and to be deprived of that is to lose part of oneself. I will see to it that she can continue doing what she loves. Besides all of those things were just minor details. I would work around any obstacle to have her by my side but first she had to choose whether to stay or leave.

I walked aimlessly as my thoughts consumed me. What if she doesn't want to come? My heart froze at the very thought. For two years I thought she was dead, how could I possibly leave her behind now? Especially now that I finally had her love? I just can't leave her behind! But I can't disobey Akatsuki either, their orders are absolute. And if they came after me, they'd punish Natsume too. I can't let that happen either! My chest ached painfully as my heart raced. I was so preoccupied with my troubled thoughts that I didn't notice Tobi had fallen in step with me. "You're a sly one Senpai," he teased as he elbowed me in the side. "Hooking up while on the job, eh?"

I scowled at him but didn't say a word. I wasn't in the mood to tell him off right now.

My lack of reprimand didn't go unnoticed. "What's wrong?" He asked curiously.

"Forget about it, hm" I grumbled. I hardened on the outside while inside I was consumed with worry. What will I do if she says no? I wouldn't blame her, life on the run isn't for everyone, but I'd be devastated if she decided against it. It wasn't fair! Now we finally have a chance to be together and my forced acceptance into Akatsuki was going to ruin it! Curse you Itachi Uchiha! He made me look like such a fool back then, humiliating me as he turned my art against me.

"Come now Senpai," Tobi persisted as we continued to walk down the street. "You can tell me. Tobi can keep a secret."

I paused and looked at him. He stood there impassively, his emotions hidden behind that ridiculous mask. He was so secretive himself, despite his childish personality I knew very little about him. I sighed as I continued on. "You had no right to barge in on my private business. You ought to show more respect towards your superior."

"I was worried about you Senpai, especially when you didn't return," he whined. "What was I supposed to do?"

"Wait until I returned!" I said firmly.

"You didn't look in a big hurry to leave," he laughed. "Then again if I'd spent the night in the arms of a pretty girl I wouldn't either!"

I frowned. "Keep your mouth shut and go get the supplies we'll need so we can leave by sunset."

"That was supposed to be your job remember?" He protested. "Or did you forget that the moment you saw her in her underwear?" He teased in a sing-song voice.

I glared at him so fiercely that he panicked. "Yes Senpai! Right away Senpai!"

He hurried away and I pressed a hand against my forehead as I groaned aloud. Seriously it was less of a partnership and more of a baby-sitting job sometimes. Well that task should take him all day. I pulled the ruined blouse out of my pocket. First I had to buy her a new one. I took it into several different stores, asking the shopkeeper as I showed them the ruined blouse. Eventually by mid afternoon I found one just like it and purchased it.

Now with nothing left to occupy my thoughts, my anxieties threatened to resurface. Instead I tried to think positively and that wasn't hard at all. Just the thought of her being my girl was enough to lift my spirits. And the prospect of spending many romantic nights under the sheets made my pulse race excitedly. To fall asleep with her in my arms, her body warm against mine, brought a smile to my face. But my happiness felt stifled knowing that there was a risk that it wouldn't work out. But it had to! For us to finally meet up after all this time only to part again would be an incredibly cruel twist of fate. It just had to work out!

The remaining hours seemed to crawl by until at last I returned to the hotel. I had instructed Tobi to wait for me by the village's main gates. If she refused me I didn't want a witness to my devastation. My heart pounded as I walked down the hallway to her room. Each step seemed to echo loudly in my ears. I felt sweat drip down the back of my neck and I swallowed nervously. _Please say yes!_ I pleaded. _Please come with me! I don't want to leave you behind!_

I knocked on the door and took a deep breath to steady my nerves. To my surprise a man opened the door. He looked to be nearly thirty and I recognized him as the fake husband from last night. What was he doing in her room? He narrowed his eyes shrewdly at me as he sized me up. Then he reluctantly stepped back to let me inside. I was surprised to see that she wasn't here. He closed the door behind me and folded his arms across his chest. I frowned at him. "Where's Natsume?"

"She has gone to get something for the trip, she'll be back."

I sighed as I rested a hand over my racing heart. I felt weak with relief. She's coming after all!

The man frowned at me. "I'll have you know that I disapprove most strongly with her decision."

"Why should I care what you think, hm?" I asked as I sat down on the bed. I ran my hand along the soft blanket. Fond memories of last night brought a smug smile to my face.

"You're not the only one who cares about her," he insisted as he took a step closer.

"You're only her manager," I said indifferently. "You'll find another client soon enough."

He glared at me. "That has nothing to do with it. Yes I manage her career but I also love her."

My eyes widened at this revelation before I glared right back. "Well too bad, she's mine now."

"Spending one night with her doesn't make her yours," he said tersely. "And requiring her to give everything up just to be with you is nothing short of selfishness."

I folded my arms across my chest. "I'm not forcing her to do anything. It's entirely her choice."

"Do you really expect me to trust the word of a criminal?" He scoffed as he looked down at me. My temper flared. What right did he have to act so superior? Judging just by his appearance alone he was more businessman than shinobi. He ought to be more careful but instead he opened his mouth. "I won't lose her to the likes of you. She deserves the best and only I can give her that."

"Says you," I said sarcastically.

"Says any logical person," he said seriously. "You are a criminal working for a villainous organization. You can't stay in one place for too long because ANBU and Bounty Hunters are always on your trail. If she were to go with you, her reputation would be tarnished. Just by associating with you, she'd be considered a criminal. She'd have no security, no home to call her own; it would be life on the run. How is she to defend herself from elite shinobi? If she's marked for death she'd be powerless to fight back."

My hands curled into trembling fists. "_I_ would be there to protect her, hm!"

"But is that really looking out for her best interests?" He countered. "This arrangement only suits your needs and completely disregards her own. Love is not selfish but selfless."

I felt my temper beginning to rise. I resented the fact that he was lecturing me…and even worse he was beginning to make sense. I want her but what if he's right? Will I really be endangering her? Forever being on the run wouldn't be an easy life. For the briefest moment I started to agree with him. But I refused to let those thoughts grow. I don't care if it's illogical! She's mine! We were meant to be and I won't lose her to a snob like him! "Like I said before," I seethed through my teeth. "Why should I care what you think?"

"I don't expect you to," he said calmly. "I just thought that if you truly cared about her, you'd understand why she should stay."

His calm demeanor irritated me and I struggled to keep my temper in check. No doubt this guy thought he was better than everyone else, smug in his family connections. I recognized that look in his eyes last night as he hugged her against his side; his affectionate gaze was no mere pretense. "On the other hand I have so much to offer her," he said as he rested his hands on his hips. "She would have power, wealth, and prestige. Which is why I made her an offer of marriage."

I lost it. The very thought of another man wanting her set my temper into a full blown rage. I jumped to my feet and swung my fist at him. "You can't have her!"

He easily dodged it and a few other punches before I hit him squarely in the jaw, knocking him off his feet. He rubbed his sore jaw as he smirked. "Do you often resort to violence when you don't get your way? Heaven help Natsume should she ever fall ill of your favor."

He even had the nerve to say her name with such familiarity! I towered over him as I grabbed his shirt with my fist raised. "I won't let you have her!" I seethed. "She was mine long before she met you!"

"That's a lie." He countered as he calmly narrowed his eyes at me. "According to her you confessed love and then abandoned her." I reddened with embarrassment. Of course he'd think that, so would anyone else. His calmness under pressure reminded me of Itachi which only made me angrier. "A real man backs up his words with his actions," he continued on. "You gave up any right you had to her when you turned traitor."

"Shut up! You don't know anything!" I snapped at him as I swung my fist at him again.

He caught it in his hand and shoved me backward. He's much stronger than he looks. He stood up and cracked his knuckles. "Fighting is so uncouth but perhaps it's the only way to knock some sense into you."

He lunged at me with his fists flying. He wasn't a shinobi but definitely familiar with martial arts. It was a little hard to maneuver in her tiny hotel room but I was determined to shatter that ego of his. I won't be beaten by the likes of him. I won't even waste my explosive clay on him. I matched him blow for blow and quickly gained the advantage.

Suddenly a hand gripped my shoulder and I was wrenched backward. He fell back as well and Natsume stood between us, glaring fiercely at both of us. "Knock it off, you two! Act your age!"

"He started it!" We both accused in unison.

She groaned as she turned to stuff something into her knapsack. "Honestly I don't know why I bother with men sometimes…"

"Natsume, please see reason. You can't leave with that monster!" Kazuhiko protested as he approached her. He rested his hand on the small of her back.

That intimate gesture made me furious and I rushed towards him. She turned around and held her hand out to stop my advance. She frowned severely at me. "Cool it and wait for me outside. I'll be down in a few minutes."

I scowled but turned on my heel and stormed out. Why did she send me away? She was supposed to leave with me. She's had all day to say good-bye to her smart-mouthed manager and I have a schedule to keep. I'll get an earful from Pein if we're late. I paced outside the hotel as I waited impatiently. It felt like she was taking forever and I started to worry that she would change her mind. Eventually she came outside with her knapsack slung over one shoulder. She shot me an icy glare as she walked past me. "That was real smooth. I spent all day trying to convince him that you're not some impulsive psycho and you just proved him right."

"I don't see why you should care what he thinks anyway," I grumbled as I hurried to catch up with her.

"Because he's my friend, _that's_ why," she said firmly. She slowed down her pace and looked over her shoulder. "You won't understand…but he's special to me."

"How special?" I asked suspiciously.

"Very special," she said softly. I panicked and she giggled as she rolled her eyes. "You're so possessive, that hasn't changed a bit. It's a shame because I always found that annoying. Look nothing happened between me and him, we were only good friends."

"He said that he proposed to you." I accused.

"Yes, he did this morning," she said matter-of-factly. As if getting proposed to was nothing out of the ordinary. "And I said no."

"Why?" I asked curiously.

She smirked gently as she reached out to hold my hand. "I should think it was obvious."

I stopped and pulled her into my arms. I loved how she instinctively leaned into me. "You know that I have nothing to offer you, even my name is too treacherous to share. But a guy like that could give you the world. Why would you give that all up just for me?"

"It wasn't for you," she admitted. "He told me he loved me a year ago, back when I never thought I'd see you again, and I turned him down then too. I won't settle for less than the best either."

Her meaningful gaze made my heart jump into my throat. She thought I was better than him! That pleased me and I kissed her, right there in the middle of the street. "Oh Natsume," I murmured against her sweet lips. "I really don't deserve you."

"Stop talking nonsense," she giggled. "It's not an issue of who deserves what. It's just love; pure and simple."

"Its more than that," I insisted as I tenderly stroked her cheek. "Infinitely more." She went still in my arms, her golden gaze was inquisitive. I kissed her again. "There was a time when I lost faith in everything and everyone, including myself. But never in you…I lived for you and tried to honor your memory with my art. I know I'm selfish for asking you to stay with me but you know that you don't have to right?"

She nodded. "I do and I'm going for my own reasons."

"And what are they?" I asked softly. The noise all around us faded away as I held her in my arms. She was all I could see and what a beautiful sight she was.

"In your weird little way you taught me to be true to myself and to respect myself. I decided to be the girl you had always seen in me." She smiled at me and I saw the light in her eye brighten. She was definitely more comfortable in her skin and in what she wanted. That made me happy. She continued on. "It was hard for me to break out of my protective shell, to take risks, and to refuse the attention of perverts, but I feel better for staying strong."

"So you've finally realized your true worth, hm? About time," I gently teased.

She giggled. "Better late than never huh? And I'll have you know that I've compared every guy I've met to you. Know why? Because it's you that I want by my side. I'm not about to back down now." She kissed me as her hand slipped up the front of my shirt. Her fingertips gently caressed my skin as it slid ever upward. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. "I'm not afraid of what the future holds," she whispered. "Not as long as you're a part of it."

I smirked as I kissed her back. "I know just how you feel."

When the kiss ended, I took her hand and led her down the street. It was time for us to go. With her by my side and a secret smile and loving gaze that belonged to me only, I was ready to face whatever the future held. Together we could handle anything.


	24. Chapter 24: The Long Journey Ahead

[Natsume's Point of View]

Five minutes into the journey, I was declared too slow. I couldn't believe their stamina. We'd been running the whole time, how much faster did they expect me to go? I was already out of breath as I scowled at Deidara. "What do you mean…I'm…too slow? I'm…going as fast…as I…can!"

He looked sympathetic. "At this rate we'll be even later."

"Then we'll…be late," I huffed as I pumped my arms, forcing myself to go even faster. I tripped over a rock and fell flat on my face.

Deidara helped me to my feet. "I'll have to carry you then."

I snatched my hand back and huffed away. "I'm not that slow! I can manage on my own."

"Don't be so stubborn about it," he chided as he pulled me back. "Just climb onto my back and hold on tight. You'll see what I mean."

I reluctantly did so and screamed as he rocketed forward, propelling himself off the ground and into a nearby tree. He flew from tree branch to tree branch like a bird, his partner Tobi did the same. I held on so tightly that Deidara choked out, "Not…so hard, hm!"

I loosened a little but was still terrified. This should be impossible. I had no idea shinobi were capable of this kind of speed.

"Wheeee!" Tobi cried out as he flapped his arms. "It's just like flying!" He looked so silly that I couldn't help laughing. He laughed too. "See Senpai? She likes Tobi's joke!"

"It wasn't funny the first time," Deidara said dryly. "Even less so the twenty-ninth time."

I quickly found out that Tobi was a goofball that grated on Deidara's nerves. I found him funny though very unusual. Akatsuki is an organization made up of S-Ranked criminals so that must mean he considered was one as well. It's hard to imagine a clown like him being a killer.

As exciting as flying through the air initially was, it was starting to make me feel dizzy and nauseous. I closed my eyes and rested my head on Deidara's shoulder. I found his rhythmic breathing soothing and it soon lulled me to sleep. When I woke up, I was lying on a cot inside a sleeping bag. I looked up to see the trees stretch up towards the sky, narrowing towards the top. It was still dark but starting to grow lighter, it must be close to sunrise.

Deidara was on a nearby cot, snoring softly. I was tempted to grab his nose and see how long it took him to wake but decided against it. I was absolutely starving and needed to eat something before I felt sick. I carefully climbed out of the sleeping bag and approached our stash of supplies. It was still too dark to see clearly what was in each bag. So I rummaged around and occasionally pulled out an object to squint at it. Surely there was an energy bar or something I could eat quickly.

Suddenly my arm was wrenched painfully behind my back, forcing me to arch backward and hiss with pain. A kunai was pressed against my throat, restricting my ability to breathe. "What have we here, eh?" I recognized Tobi's voice, but it sounded very creepy. "A thief? A spy?"

"It's me!" I choked out. "N-Natsume!"

He squeaked in horror and immediately let go. I hunched forward as I coughed. "Pretty Girl-chan!" He panicked. "It was an accident! Tobi thought you were still sleeping! He didn't expect anyone to be going through our bags! Oh please don't tell Senpai!"

I nodded as I rubbed my sore throat. "Get me some food and it'll be our little secret."

"If you'll get a fire started again, Tobi will find some breakfast." He said as he stood up. "Everything you'll need is by the fire pit."

It was hard with it being so dark and I often fumbled and dropped things. I made all kinds of noise, it's a wonder that Deidara slept through it. Anyway I finally succeeded and had a roaring fire by the time Tobi returned. He had a few rabbits slung over his shoulder and a few bird eggs. I didn't know anything about skinning rabbits so I volunteered to cook the eggs. He gave me a frying pan and I cracked the eggs in and started to scramble them. If only I had a few herbs and spices, then these would be fantastic, but right now I was too hungry to be picky.

Tobi set about skinning and cleaning the rabbits. I couldn't watch, it was gross, but he whistled cheerfully as he worked. I didn't know what to say so I kept silent. Eventually he broke the silence when he started to cook the meat. "So you knew Senpai before his terrorist days…" he trailed off meaningfully. I don't know what to make of his voice but I think he's only pretending to sound child-like. It's just like the mask, hiding all parts of himself. Not that it matters, everyone is entitled to their secrets.

"I did," I said vaguely as I finished up the eggs.

"What was he like then?" He giggled impishly. I hesitated for a moment as I thought about it for a moment. "Oh not you too," he whined. "Senpai never tells me anything; are you just a tight-lipped?"

"No!" I protested. "It's just that…" I looked over my shoulder at him. "The Deidara I knew was no murderer. He's changed a great deal and yet…sometimes it's like he hasn't changed at all." I sighed. "That probably doesn't make a lot of sense."

"He doesn't generally make sense so I guess it does," he giggled again. "But he likes you, no?"

I wore a side smile. "Yeah he does."

"So even loud-mouthed and explosive-tempered Senpai is capable of falling in love!" He laughed.

I laughed too; his laughter was so contagious that I couldn't help it. Deidara groaned as he stirred awake. He glared at his partner. "Keep it down, hm," he growled as he burrowed back down into his sleeping bag. "I'm tryin' to sleep here…" his voice trailed off and he started to snore again.

Tobi shushed me. "You heard Senpai."

"You started it," I smirked. We continued to chat but I avoided directly answering his questions about Deidara and myself. I liked Tobi but I don't trust him. As friendly as he was I can't afford to forget that he's in Akatsuki. No one from that organization was trust-worthy. Deidara finally woke up, ate what was left over, and we packed everything up. There was quite a bit of gear which I don't remember seeing when we left town. Now that I think about it, I was the only one who had carried anything at all. If that was the case then where did all of this stuff come from? As Deidara helped me onto his back, Tobi made all of it suddenly vanish as he sucked it in through his mask.

I gasped in surprise. "Where did it…I mean how did you…?" I was completely dumbfounded.

"It's a secret," Tobi said mischievously as he rested a finger over where his mouth would be. Then suddenly he made a flower appear in the palm of his other hand and he held it out towards me. "For you."

Deidara snatched it from his hand and smacked him with it. "Get going already! We're already running late, hm!"

"All because you slept in Senpai!" he teased as he set off at a running pace.

So we spent the entire day traveling again, keeping off the roads and stopping only for a quick lunch and to set up camp late at night. As Tobi went to catch some dinner, Deidara pulled me into his arms and kissed me. "How are you feeling?" He asked worriedly.

"I'm fine," I assured him as I stretched my stiff back. "Just a little sore."

"I know it's a lot of traveling but we'll get there in a few more days."

"Is the base near a village?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"It's near a big city," he said. "Not every member will be there. The Leader comes rarely and the others are often gone on missions. You don't have to worry about them."

"I didn't ask about them," I gently reminded him. "Are _you_ worried?" He didn't say a word but his eyes said it all. He was just trying to be brave and I appreciated the attempt. I kissed his cheek. "You'll keep me perfectly safe, I'm sure," I reassured him.

"I'll protect you with my life," he whispered softly, his fear now replaced with determination.

I considered him for a moment. "I hope that at some point we can talk about what happened that night…after I left," I said softly.

He nodded. "But it'll have to wait until we arrive, when we can be alone." He gently stroked my cheek. "All you need to know for now is that it wasn't what it appeared to be."

My heart leaped into my throat as I felt hope for the first time. I had always believed that he had not been himself that night. The Deidara I'd known would never have done that. Was it possible that I was right? He smiled at my reaction but Tobi interrupted us and effectively ruined the moment.

And that's how it went for the rest of our trip: non-stop travel. I was thoroughly tired of being carried; my legs felt weak from lack of use. I also tired of feeling like a burden to them. Deidara often had to let Tobi carry me so that his arms could have a break. Tobi was more of a conversationalist than Deidara and often made me laugh. Every night as we ate around the campfire we'd exchange stories. It was fun to tease Deidara, I still can't resist that.

"Was Senpai ever a peeping tom?" Tobi asked.

Deidara stiffened and shot me a warning look that I ignored. "Only once," I answered.

"Oh do tell!" Tobi begged.

"I think he had just barely turned seventeen then," I said as I helped myself to seconds. "Whenever I shower I leave the window open. My room was on the 2nd floor and it faces the alleyway so no one can see anything. Besides my showers are long and hot so the room really steams up too. So one day I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself when I had the funny feeling that someone was watching me. I turned around but didn't see anything. Still the feeling remained and I realized that whoever was watching was doing so stealthily. There's only one person I knew who was capable of that. So I hurried over to the window and bonked him on the head. Once I made contact, he re-appeared and fell hard onto the concrete below."

Deidara scowled. "I nearly broke my ankle then!"

"It would have served you right!" I laughed.

He smirked at me. "Then maybe I should tell about the time you tripped, fell down a flight of stairs, and ripped your dress during one of my award ceremonies!"

"You wouldn't!" I protested as I grabbed a hold of his knee.

"Oh please do!" Tobi clapped his hands excitedly. "How bad did she rip it?"

"All the way up to her waist," Deidara grinned wickedly. "Flashing her zebra-print thong to the entire audience comprised of civilian and the highest officials in Iwagakure!"

"It was an accident!" I cried out as I blushed deeply. They laughed and eventually I laughed too. "But after that I got more requests so I guess it worked out to my advantage in the end."

Tobi and Deidara always took turns keeping watch while I slept through the night. The rest of the journey was uneventful and at sunset on the fifth day the Akatsuki Base was in sight. "There it is Pretty Girl-chan!" Tobi cried out as he pointed straight ahead. "The Akatsuki's Secret Base. You can keep the secret too, eh?"

I nodded and looked down at Deidara as I felt him tense underneath me. Again he was worried, and now I was getting a little worried. He's supposed to be my protection and he's starting to doubt his own abilities? Just what were the other members capable of? Would they ignore me or take an interest? "Are you alright?" I whispered in his ear.

He ignored me and I took it as a sign that he wasn't interested in talking right now. Maybe he didn't want Tobi to overhear us so I didn't press the matter. As we approached the entrance, Deidara let me down and I walked by his side. Tobi keyed in some kind of code in a nearby panel and the wide metal doors slid open. Inside the building had a cold and metallic feel to it with its sleek metal walls and floor. It was devoid of any decoration, more efficient feeling than homey. I shuddered involuntarily and drew closer to Deidara. This place seemed so cold and I'll admit that I was beginning to grow nervous myself. He squeezed my hand reassuringly as he smiled at me. "It's not much to look at but it's really nice. You'll love my studio; it's patterned after my Dad's."

"Ah so you've both returned," a deep grating voice said satisfactorily.

Deidara and Tobi stopped to bow respectfully. I forgot to as I stared at it…or him…I wasn't sure what it was. He was tall, blue-skinned, with beady eyes and gills under the corner of his eyes. He looked more fish than human…especially with those sharp pointed teeth he flashed as he smiled in a friendly manner. I recognized the symbol on his headband as the symbol for Kirigakure. So he's from my country then? He had a large sword strapped to his back. Perhaps he was one of the legendary Seven Swordsmen? Mom used to tell me stories about their bravery and nobility, they were true heroes.

"Who's this?" He asked curiously as he noticed me. Then he stared at me open-mouthed. "Rin Yamamoto?"

I gasped aloud and clamped a hand over my mouth. How did he know my mother's name?

He shook his head to clear it. "No, you're far too young…and yet the resemblance…" Then a light came in his eyes. "You're her daughter." It was a statement, not a question.

I nodded uneasily. "You knew her?"

He nodded. "Yes, I was once part of her family's security detail. You look…just like her."

He looked awestruck and I grimaced. So he was another of mom's admirers, wow this was super awkward. "I'm Kisame Hoshigaki," he said as he bowed deeply. "It's a pleasure to meet you. What is your name?"

"Natsume." I wasn't comfortable using my last name here.

"How is your mother? I trust she's doing well?"

I blinked in surprise. "You mean…you don't know?"

He shook his head.

"She left when I was eleven," I said flatly. "I haven't heard from her since."

Once again he stared. "I don't believe it."

I folded my arms defiantly across my chest. "Why would I lie about that?" Deidara looked sad. Oh that's right; I've never told him about my mom. Oh well, now he knows. "So I hope you'll understand that I don't like to talk about her."

He nodded slowly. Then he turned his gaze towards Deidara and narrowed his eyes at him. "Why have you brought her here?"

"She's here with me," Deidara assured him as he wrapped an arm around my waist.

"Pretty Girl-chan is Senpai's girlfriend!" Tobi said enthusiastically.

"Then have you lost your mind?" Kisame hissed. "She can't stay here! The others wouldn't understand and her safety would be jeopardized!"

I winced as Deidara's grip on me tightened as he looked fiercely determined. "I won't let _anything_ happen to her."

Kisame still didn't look convinced and the air grew tense as they stared at each other, waiting for the other to back down first. I couldn't help but wonder what they were talking about. Why was it considered so dangerous for me to be here? Apart from the obvious, that is.

Suddenly Tobi jumped in-between them. "Kisame-san! Senpai threw a slumber party with Pretty Girl-chan but sadly they didn't invite Tobi." For a moment he hung his head in a dejected manner and then he perked right up again. "But not to worry! Tobi got some party favors!"

He threw open his travel robe and we all stared at him wide-eyed. On the outside of his dark clothes he wore my missing cheetah-print bra and thong. For a split second no one knew what to do. Then Kisame burst out with a hearty laugh, I covered my eyes and groaned, and Deidara freaked out as he pointed accusingly at him. "Hey those don't belong to you!"

_Way to state the obvious there kid_, I thought miserably. Tobi playfully wagged a scolding finger. "Now now Senpai. You're just jealous that Tobi stole them first."

"Tobi…" Deidara growled threateningly as his eyes lit up with maniacal rage. "YOU'RE DEAD!"

Tobi squeaked in terror and took off running down the corridor with his arms flailing hysterically. Deidara chased after him and hurled explosives, effectively filling the corridor with smoke and fire. Gone from sight we could still hear Deidara screaming threats and Tobi switching between teasing and begging for mercy. Kisame was still laughing and I just about died of embarrassment.


	25. Chapter 25: The Painful Truth

[Natsume's Point of View]

With Deidara and Tobi gone, it was just Kisame and I. As the smoke dissipated he clapped a hand on my shoulder. I flinched a little at his forwardness and was surprised by his worried look. "Did you come here willingly? Because if you're just his prisoner, I'll personally escort you home."

I took a step back. His concern made me feel uncomfortable. "No, I came to stay with Deidara."

He still looked worried. "You shouldn't have," he murmured. "It's not safe here for girls like you."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked suspiciously.

He turned and walked further down the corridor. "I'll show you where his room is. I suggest you stay there and wait for his return."

I hesitated for a moment as I looked around nervously. I couldn't hear Deidara or Tobi anymore; they were too far away now. I had just met Kisame, how did I know he wasn't going to take advantage of my momentary lapse in security? He stopped and looked over his shoulder. "You have much to fear here…but not from me." His expression softened as he smiled kindly. "I won't hurt you. You have my word."

I was still skeptical. What good is the word of a criminal? Still his friendliness seemed genuine and I didn't have any other option at this point. So I decided to take a chance and nodded as I approached him. He nodded in turn and continued to lead the way. As we walked I looked him over curiously, especially at his broad sword. It was so massive, I bet it weighed a ton but he didn't seem to mind the burden. He noticed me looking at it. "This is Samehada."

I gasped and covered my mouth in complete shock. He stopped and frowned at me curiously. "You're the wielder of Shark Skin?" I asked in surprise. "Thought to be the most terrifying of all the Seven Swordsmen's blades?"

He grinned, flashing all of those terrible teeth again. "So you've heard of him then. I am most honored."

"My mom used to tell me stories about the Seven Swordsmen," I whispered as I swallowed nervously. "Of their honor and loyalty to the Mizukage…they were men of valor. Of them all she said that you were the greatest."

His expression softened. "Your mother and I...used to be very close. It pleases me that after our separation she still thought well of me." His gaze drifted away thoughtfully and he was silent for a moment. It was almost like he was lost to the past, swallowed up in memories of a better time. Then he stirred himself and continued walking. "This way."

I opened my mouth to speak but quickly shut it again. It was too soon to ask a question that personal. He noticed and said, "You may speak freely."

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "But I don't understand why someone as heroic as you…"

"Would be here in this Den of Thieves?" He chuckled. I nodded. He shrugged his shoulders and grunted. "Honor, valor, and loyalty are important qualities. But what do you do when the system you serve is corrupt and hypocritical? I was a Shinobi of Kirigakure, sworn to protect my country and its people…and yet I was often expected to sacrifice my fellowman to do that." He shook his head in disgust. "That is not a way to run a country or to be treated. So I left, it's as simple as that."

I bowed my head in thought. I wasn't sure what to think. I expected every Akatsuki member to be insane but his logic made sense. Then I remembered that he also said that he and mom used to be close…I wonder what he meant by that? What does it really matter though? It's obvious that he cared for her at some point, what else did I need to know? Sometimes the past is better left untouched, it tends to stir up unpleasant memories. So I resolved to leave the subject be. We didn't talk again until we arrived at a door. He keyed in a coded password into a panel beside the door and it slid open.

I looked at him warily. "How do you know his password?"

"He entrusted it to me so I could refresh his art supplies whenever he is on prolonged business."

I stepped inside and looked around. This room was pretty small but I recognized a few artist things that would have belonged to him. I turned around to see Kisame still standing in the doorway. "Rest for tonight but tomorrow you _must_ leave," he said firmly.

I frowned at him and was tempted to tell him to mind his own business. But I couldn't forget about his deadly reputation either. However heroic he used to be, he could be nothing less than a villain now. Instead I bowed my head respectfully. "Thank you Hoshigaki-san. Good night."

He chuckled softly. "You're every bit as stubborn…" he murmured. Then he turned around and left as the door slid closed and locked automatically.

I looked around the room again and grimaced. This room was far too small for two people. There was one bed, one dresser, one desk and chair, one narrow closet, and one window with frosted glass so you couldn't see the outside; that's it. I opened another door to see it was a bathroom, that's good. I wouldn't have liked the idea of a community bathroom. This room was also small but the porcelain bathtub looked inviting after such a long journey. I closed the door behind me and looked in the cabinet under the sink to find fresh towels and bath beads. I laughed at the idea of Deidara actually using these. Still I bet he wouldn't mind if I used some. I tossed a couple under the running water and watched them burst and dissolve. A sweet and salty scent filled the air, very reminiscent of the ocean. I stepped into the water and lay in the tub as the water splashed over my toes. When the tub was full enough I reached up with my foot to turn the water off. Then I sighed as I rested my head back against the lip of the tub. I was enveloped by the rich scent of the bathwater and how warm and soothing it felt against my skin. It felt so good and it brought a smile to my lips. I closed my eyes and felt myself beginning to drift off. Then I heard the bedroom door slid open followed by Deidara's voice calling out for me. "I'm in here," I called back.

He opened the door and stepped inside. He still looked upset. "That Tobi can be such a pain, hm!" He grumbled.

"You should be more careful with those explosives," I scolded. "You could have killed him."

"What do you think I was trying to do?" He asked sarcastically. "Gaw! He gets on my nerves so badly sometimes! He's so immature!"

"Like you were any better," I said dryly. "Chasing after him like that."

He scowled. "You should be even angrier than I am about it."

"I probably will be once the humiliation wears off." Then I giggled. "Still, it was a little funny."

"No it wasn't!" He contradicted.

"Oh relax already," I groaned. I was beyond exhausted at this point and let out heavy sigh.

"Are you feeling alright?" He asked as he knelt down beside the tub. His brow knit with concern and those handsome blue eyes revealed how worried he was.

"I'm just tired is all," I murmured as I felt my eyelids sliding closed. I felt his lips press against my forehead which brought a small smile to my face. I opened my eyes partway to see his handsome face so very close to mine. I pulled him in for a soft kiss. "I love you Dei Dei."

"And I love you too," he whispered.

"Now I just have to ask, why do you have bath beads? Isn't that rather girly?"

He reddened slightly. "Well yeah…but the smell reminds me of you so…uh…yeah, hm."

I blinked in surprise. "It does?"

He nodded. "I never wanted to forget."

I blushed slightly, both out of pride but also out of shame. When he left I had despised the reminders and went out of my way to avoid them…even giving up on my art. But he had done the opposite. He treasured those memories and did what he could to keep them alive. I felt guilty and my gaze lowered sadly.

Then he stood up. "I'll get us something to eat for dinner. What sounds good to you?"

I forced a side smile. "Just about anything as long as there's lots of it."

He chuckled. "I'll see what I can do. I'll be back."

He closed the door behind him and I resumed enjoying my bath. After the heat started to get to me, I quickly washed up and let the water out of the tub. I was in the middle of toweling off when Deidara returned with the food. I could smell it from under the door and my mouth watered. I quickly dressed and went to join him.

There was a lot of food and I ate my fill while he took his own bath. I looked around the room again, wondering just how I was going to fit into this place. After all it was clearly meant to be a single room for short periods of use. Nothing in this room indicated that he stayed here very long. There was next to no personal belongings, just some clothes and supplies. Again I made a face. Perhaps Kazuhiko's parting advice to get a place of my own wasn't such a bad idea. Especially when Deidara goes on missions, I'll want to stay somewhere else. When Deidara came out, he wore only a pair of pants. He was drying his hair with a towel and I just stared at him. He noticed and smirked. "What's with that face?"

I didn't know what to comment on first. His arms…what happened to his arms? Stitched on with such thick thread and discolored skin too? And why did he have such a huge tattoo on his chest? I was speechless as I tried to think of what to say. He drew closer, sat beside me, and gently elbowed me in the side. "C'mon out with it, hm."

I gingerly reached out to touch the stitches. They felt coarse and harsh under my smooth fingertips. The sections of discolored skin felt wrinkly and foreign to his own naturally soft skin. "What happened?" I asked softly.

"I lost both of my arms in battle. But they were able to sew them back on so it's no big deal."

I frowned in disagreement. Losing a pair of arms seemed like a _very_ big deal to me. Was he just trying to be brave again or had the trauma passed? "And what about the tattoo?"

He grimaced at this and looked away. "It's not a tattoo."

"What else could it be?" I asked as I gently touched it.

He flinched and moved away as he started to pace. "It's…well you see…hm...well it's a long story."

I sat up on the bed to get comfortable. "I'd like to hear it."

He stopped pacing and looked at me so vulnerably. I could see that he was worried about how I would handle the truth. I nodded encouragingly. He closed his eyes to take a deep breath. "It all started after you left."

I listened in wonder as he explained Ryo's plan for him to steal the kinjutsu for the sake of impressing me. My face fell and my bottom lip trembled. "So it was my fault…" I whispered in a shaky voice.

"No!" He said firmly as he grasped my shoulders. "No it wasn't your fault! I knew deep down that you wouldn't have approved. It was a moment of weakness on my part and Ryo-san exploited it to his advantage."

I frowned. "He used you?"

He nodded and went on to explain his plan to use the money from selling the Kinjutsu to run away with me. I shuddered involuntarily and drew a shaky breath. It terrified me to think of how close it had come to happening. That would have been a nightmare. "What happened to him?" I asked.

Now it was Deidara's turn to look upset. "I got so angry at being tricked and was so scared at the idea of him having you that I lost my temper…and murdered him."

I stared at him in absolute shock. "You what?"

He looked ashamed. "It was wrong of me. I…I was so angry and desperate that I acted without thinking. That was my second mistake."

"What happened next?" I asked warily, not sure if I really wanted to hear anymore. But I had to. If we're going to stay together, we need to be honest with each other. That means I'll have to share my secret too, though I'm surprised he hasn't figured it out yet.

He told me about how Uchida the advisor had placed a genjutsu on him. I blinked in confusion. "What's a genjutsu?"

"Ah that's right, you're not a Shinobi," he said. "Well basically it's similar to hypnotizing someone, only far deadlier."

"How is deadly?" I asked. "Hypnotizing someone is nothing more than an illusion, a trick of the mind to make something appear to be that isn't."

He shook his head. "No…while the illusion is fake, its effects are real. If you're caught in a genjutsu your will is not your own and your actions are forced. I didn't want to open that scroll. I had wanted to return it and take responsibility for the theft and Ryo-san's death. Instead Uchida-san forced me to open the scroll and its effect is now permanent. Then he made me destroy Iwagakure. Part of me was destroyed along with it," he said in a hushed voice. "It was torture to be so powerless."

I looked at his chest markings. "So that's part of the Kinjutsu?"

He nodded. "And these too."

He held his hands out towards me, palms up. I didn't see anything at first but then nearly jumped out of my skin as two holes opened up. No wait…they weren't holes…but _mouths._ They hissed softly as they lazily flicked their tongues out. I pressed a hand against my mouth in horror as I stared. I've never seen anything like it. They looked so monstrous. Then I realized that he was watching my reaction with a sad expression. He was sensitive to my repulsion and I could see that I was breaking his heart. I quickly spoke. "I'm sorry Dei Dei; they just caught me by surprise that's all."

"It's ok," he said sympathetically. "I was scared of them at first too. But I've gotten used to them. They're actually really useful."

"What do they do?" I asked cautiously.

At this he brightened. Apparently he was proud of whatever it was they did. "Check this out," he said eagerly. "You'll love it."

He grabbed one of the pouches he'd worn strapped to his hip during our journey and brought it over. He sat on the bed beside me and unzipped it. There was a big lump of clay inside. He put his hand in the bag and the mouth on his palm opened up and greedily ate some. My stomach flip-flopped; it was gross to watch. Then he drew his hand back and held it up towards me again. It continued to chew and then spat it out in the shape of a tiny bird. I stared open-mouthed as it flapped its tiny wings and flew around the room.

"That's…incredible," I said in awe.

He chuckled. "I thought you'd be impressed. But my art does more than move around." He brought his hands up in some sort of sign. "Katsu!" He said and it suddenly exploded. Granted it was a tiny one but it startled me enough that I jumped into his arms. He laughed as he held me. "Pretty awesome huh?"

"What is it with guys and wanting to blow things up?" I grumbled.

"Oh c'mon!" He said in exasperation. "You've got to admit it's impressive."

I hesitated for a moment. "I'll admit I like the idea of art coming to life. It's always been a dream of mine," I confessed. "And yet…you're using it to kill people." I pulled away from him and turned away. "I can't approve of that."

He was silent for a moment. There was nothing else to be said about it and I think he knew that. On this point we'd never agree and I knew this could very well be a deal-breaker. If we were to stay together, I'd have to accept the fact that he was a murderer. That left an ugly feeling in the pit of my stomach. I felt his arms gently wrap around me and I looked at him over my shoulder. "I can't change what I've done," he murmured. "But I love you Natsume. Can you accept me the way I am?"

I swallowed nervously. "But which are you? The boy I grew to love or a killer?"

He looked a little sad. "I've changed a lot but really you're being unfair in your labels. It's not that black and white. You do realize that I killed while I was a Shinobi in Iwagakure right? What did you think I did in the Explosion Corps, hm?"

I blinked in surprise. "You killed then too?"

He nodded. "It's part of what it means to be a Shinobi. We have to kill those who threaten to destroy what we're striving to protect. I'm just doing my job here like I did then."

I hadn't thought about this before. In fact…I'd never thought about what it is that Shinobi do. Maybe I was being a little judgmental. "But why work for Akatsuki? They're the worst of the worst."

He lowered his gaze as he rested his chin on my shoulder. "I was forced to after I lost a duel…to Itachi Uchiha."

I sucked in my breath. "He's here?" I asked hoarsely.

He stiffened. "You've heard of him?"

I nodded. "I heard all about him from his little brother during my stay in Konoha."

"He has a brother?" He asked skeptically. "That can't be right. He massacred his entire clan."

"He spared him and challenged him to get stronger for the sake of getting revenge." I remembered my conversation with young Sasuke. That poor kid…he seemed so smart and yet was entirely consumed with dreams of revenge. That's no way to live. He had even shown me a picture of Itachi. He looked so gentle with such kind eyes. It was hard to imagine that he was capable of such atrocity. Everyone in Konoha both revered and feared his abilities. Truly he was a heartless killer if ever there was one.

Deidara chuckled darkly. "That sounds like Itachi-san. He gets sadistic pleasure out of messing with people's minds." He was quite for a moment. "He's very dangerous Natsume. Out of everyone here, he's the most deadly. His attacks are subtle; just one look into his blood-red Sharingan eyes will render you powerless. He has the power to control you for however long he wants. If you ever see him, run away. You don't want to mess with him." His grave tone scared me and I trembled in his arms. He gently shushed me as he hugged me tighter and kissed my cheek. "Don't worry; I'll protect you."

I cracked a side smile. "I know you will."

"Now I don't know about you but I'm exhausted," he yawned. "I have to make my report early tomorrow so why don't we turn in for the night?"

I nodded and we lay down side by side. I liked how it felt to lie in his arms, so steady and strong. His breathing grew slow and deep as he drifted off to sleep.


	26. Chapter 26: The Devious Uchiha

[Natsume's Point of View]

The next morning I woke up to find myself alone. I panicked and called out for Deidara. He didn't answer. Then I remembered him saying last night that he had to make a report…whatever that meant. How long does that sort of thing take? I was hungry again and doubted that I could wait much longer for his return. I got dressed and tried to keep my mind off of my growling stomach. But it was no use; there wasn't anything here to distract me. I had to eat! Surely the kitchen couldn't be too far away and I could be in and out before Deidara got back.

I opened the door and looked around. The corridor was empty. It was still early enough in the morning that everyone was probably still in bed. I took a deep breath and stepped outside. I carefully made my way down the hall on tiptoe. It was deathly quiet, both comforting and scary at the same time. I looked around; hoping that every corner I turned would lead to the kitchen. Before long I was hopelessly lost, I couldn't remember my way back either. All of these blasted doors looked alike, how did they differentiate between them? I was afraid to open any of them for fear of it being a member's room. Murderous criminals don't like being intruded upon. Well I'm assuming they don't.

_I should have waited for Deidara_, I thought miserably as I walked aimlessly. _But how hard could it be to find the kitchen?_

My skin crawled as sweat trickled down the back of my neck. This wasn't the best place to get lost. Maybe agreeing to come here had been a bad idea. Don't get me wrong, I want to be with Deidara more than anything. But living here with villains around every corner (not that I had seen any just yet) was nerve-racking. And what should I say if I met one? _I'll worry about that if it happens_, I firmly resolved. But no matter how many corners I turned everything looked the same. Now I would have to open doors to check. I knocked softly on one, heard no answer and cautiously opened the door. It looked like Deidara's room so I quickly stepped inside and closed the door behind me. I sighed with relief as I threw myself down on the bed. "You don't know how close that was!"

"How close what was?" A deep voice murmured.

I bolted upright and stared wide-eyed in horror at the sight of Itachi Uchiha wearing nothing but a loose towel wrapped low around his hips. "You're not Deidara!" I gasped.

He rested one hand causally on his hip as he smirked gently. His expression was arrogant and those dark eyes calculating. "I consider that a good thing."

Of all the rooms I could have entered it had to be _this_ one. I quickly stood up and held up my hands defensively. "I'm sorry so terribly sorry! This was a big mistake so I'll just get out of your way."

"Not so fast," he said as he drew closer. I was frozen in place as he stood before me. His long dark hair was still wet from the bath and loosely tied back. His pale skin practically glowed in comparison to mine. But those eyes…those dark ebony eyes gazed deep into mine. Even without the hypnotic ability of the Sharingan I felt drawn in by him. It was almost like he was looking into my very soul.

"Please…let me pass," I whispered fearfully. "I meant no harm."

"Who are you?" He purred softly as he stepped even closer. I backed up against the bed. Now I was truly cornered. I'd have to go through him to get to the door and it was obvious by his body language that he wasn't going to step aside. Would screaming for help do me any good? "I asked you a question," he said firmly as his dark eyes narrowed.

"Natsume," I blurted out.

"Na-tsu-me," he said slowly in a voice as smooth and rich as velvet. He reached out to touch my hair. I flinched and instinctively slapped his hand away. He grabbed my wrist and squeezed it so tightly I gasped in pain. He glared at me fiercely but I glared right back at him.

"Let go of me," I growled. Yes I was afraid of him, only a fool wouldn't be. But I was also angry that he was in my way. Not to mention his closeness revealed his more intimate intentions. He wasn't going to get away with that either.

He considered me for a moment before loosening his grip. But he didn't let go of me altogether. "No," he said calmly. "You came here for a reason, did you not?"

"What are you talking about?" I snapped. "It was an accident, nothing more."

"It does not matter," he murmured as he pressed up against me and rested his other hand on the small of my back. "You have aroused my interest."

"What are you doing?" I panicked. "Let go of me!" I screamed at him but he ignored me. His lips drew closer and I pushed against him with all of my might but it didn't stop his advance. He kissed me as his hand on my lower back slid up under my shirt. I struggled against his tight grip on me. "Let go of me _right now!_"

He ignored me as he kissed along my neck. His fingertips gently kneaded my skin as it traveled along my spine. _He's experienced at this_, I thought with dread as my body trembled with pleasure. He had the touch that Deidara would gain in time once his innocence wore off and he grew confident as a lover. Itachi let go of my wrist to massage the back of my neck. The combination of his caresses caused my back to naturally arch against his body in spite of myself. But this angle was hard to maintain and my knees buckled as I struggled to keep from falling backward onto the bed. I'm certain that was his intention. This is bad! I had to get out of here NOW!

I gritted my teeth and shifted my weight to my left foot, preparing to twist away on the left side. But he took advantage of my momentary imbalance by applying extra pressure on the left which succeeded in toppling me. I fell back onto the bed with a cry which he silenced by deepening the kiss. He then touched me in all the right places that made me groan with desire. It felt so good but this was so wrong! He both sickened and infuriated me. How dare he! Did he really think I would give myself willingly after having just met him? What a complete jerk! I bit his tongue hard and he stiffened. He still had his hand under my back so he yanked my hair and I arched hard against him as I cried out in pain (thus forcing me to release him but still remain completely vulnerable).

"Be good to me and I'll be good to you," he purred threateningly with his lips against my collarbone. He struck me as the sort of man who was never denied something he wanted. And given his deadly reputation it made perfect sense. But I didn't care; he wasn't going to intimidate me into surrendering to him.

"Leave me alone!" I hissed through the pain. "I love Deidara!"

"Don't insult my intelligence," he chuckled darkly. "No one could ever love that obnoxious loud mouth."

"But I do!" I gasped as I slowly pulled against his tight grip on my hair. My scalp screamed in agony but I had to look him in the eye so he could see my fury. "And if you don't let go of me now, you _will_ regret it."

His calm expression never wavered. "I do not fear Deidara-san's vengeance."

"I wasn't talking about him," I said as I narrowed my eyes at him.

He smirked arrogantly at this. "What can you do? You're no shinobi."

"I don't have to be to do this!" I growled as I swung my fist to punch him. He let go of my hair to block it while I aimed another blow for his sensitive side. He managed to block that with his other hand but this time it threw him off balance. I lifted up sharply on one side to throw him off onto the floor. Forget the door; the window was my only chance of escape at this point. I leaped through the air and braced myself to smash through the glass. Right at the point of impact I closed my eyes. But instead of shattering the glass I suddenly opened my eyes to find myself right back where I started. Itachi looked smugly down at me as his chiseled body remained on top of mine in his bed once more. The only thing that changed was his eyes…those blood-red eyes. My head reeled and my heart raced. "What was that…just now?" I panted.

"Genjutsu," he whispered. "If I had not activated it beforehand you would have escaped with that cheap trick."

I trembled fearfully as I remembered Deidara's warning. _He has the power to control you for however long he wants. _"So if I try to escape again..?" I asked hesitantly.

"You will wind up back where you started," he finished as his lips curled into a wickedly pleased smile. "You have spirit Natsume-san and nerve to challenge me. I like that. It's so rare to find that in a woman these days."

He leaned in to kiss me again as his eyes lit up with lustful anticipation. This was even worse than I imagined. How was I going to get out of this? _Oh Deidara! Where are you?_

Then suddenly he pushed off against me as he leaped backward into the air. I was blown off the bed as an explosion detonated right where Itachi had been seconds before. I slid across the floor and hit the wall. "You idiot!" I growled as I rubbed the back of my head. "You could have killed me with that!"

Deidara ignored me as he slipped into attack position. "Thought you'd seduce my girl, did you, hm?" He said loathingly at the composed Uchiha.

Itachi turned his cool gaze towards me. "When you tire of this boy, come to me. You will not regret it." He turned away and walked back into the bathroom with his towel amazingly still in place.

Deidara immediately scooped me into his arms and carried me out of the room. He scowled at me. "You shouldn't go wandering off. Didn't I say that, hm?"

I glared back at him as I tweaked his ears. "And didn't I say you should be more careful with those explosives?" He flinched in pain but refused to cry out. Then I threw my arms around him and buried my face against the side of his neck. Now that my temper had subsided, the terror of the moment returned. I trembled in his arms at how close I had come to being raped. I cried hot tears of shame, anger, and fear down his collar. "Thank you Dei-Dei," I whispered hoarsely. "Thanks for saving me."

He stopped right there in the middle of the hallway and gently kissed my forehead. "I always will Natsume. Did he hurt you? Did he…"

He couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence but I knew what he meant. "No he didn't get that far."

He heaved a sigh of relief. "I'm glad to hear that. C'mon lets go back. I'll have Tobi bring us breakfast instead."


	27. Chapter 27: Natsume's Secret

[Deidara's Point of View]

I've never seen Natsume this shaken up before. She clung to me tightly as she sobbed aloud. It tugged at my heartstrings as I grew worried. Even in her weakest moment I've never seen her like this. What did Itachi do to her? The image of her struggling underneath him as he bent down to kiss her was seared in my mind. That was so like him, taking everything he wanted just because he had the power to. As soon as I returned after giving my report and found my room empty I immediately suspected that he was responsible. Call it what you will, intuition or paranoia, but my hunch was right. I despised him before, now I truly loathed him.

"What happened?" Kisame asked as he caught me by the shoulder.

I stopped and glared at him. "Ask Itachi-san." I seethed.

He furrowed his brow. "What do you mean by that?"

"What do you think, hm?" I snapped at him. "If he _ever_ comes near her again I'm gonna blast him all the way to hell!"

Kisame was speechless and I stormed away. Natsume continued to cry her heart out, soaking my Akatsuki robe with her tears. Once inside my room I sat down on the bed and held her on my lap. She grasped me tightly with trembling hands. She never spoke as she cried so I gently rubbed her back. It broke my heart to hear each terrible sob. "I'm sorry," I whispered close to her ear.

"It wasn't your fault," she whispered as her sobs started to subside. "It was mine. I went looking for the kitchen and got lost. I tried to find my way back and accidentally entered his room." She sniffled slightly as she trembled in my arms. "I'm sorry Dei-Dei. I don't mean to be such a spaz."

"Don't worry about it," I assured her. "I'd rather you let it all out than keep it inside."

"I'd rather wring his neck instead," she chuckled grimly with a side smile.

"Right after I'm finished with him," I smirked.

Just then there was a solid knock at my door that startled us both. She gasped and squeezed me. I swallowed nervously. Surely it wasn't Itachi. "Who is it?" I asked aloud.

"Kakuzu," his deep voice sounded through the door. His voice always sent chills down my spine. He was one of the older members and often kept to himself. What was he doing here? "I've received a complaint from Itachi-san. I must have a word with the girl."

"No you don't!" I snapped as I raised my voice. "She's not one of your girls!"

"I must speak with her," he repeated smoothly. "I have seniority here, I'd be within my rights to take her by force. All I wish to do now is talk."

I was caught now. I didn't want to open the door but I didn't want her taken away either. "Just do what he says," she whispered fearfully as she scooted off my lap. "I don't want to cause you any trouble."

I nodded grimly and opened the door. He entered and stopped short when he saw Natsume sitting there. She squeaked in horror as her hand flew to her mouth. "K-san?" She asked incredulously.

His brow furrowed. "Natsume-chan? Is that you?"

They stared silently at each other and I was super confused. How did they know each other?

He recovered first. "I'm surprised to see how much you have grown." I surprised to hear his voice uncharacteristically softened.

"I'm surprised to see how much you haven't," she smirked gently as she lowered her hand.

He chuckled at this and I stared at him. I've never heard him laugh before. What was going on around here?

"I didn't expect to see you again in a place like this," she said.

"Nor I you."

"No it's not that," she protested. "It's just that…you never seemed like a villain."

"I should have thought that the circumstances surrounding our first meeting would have solidified your opinion of me as one." he said gently.

She slowly shook her head as a smile spread across her face; her eyes were full of gratitude. "No K-san. You were my hero."

"Is that so?" He asked skeptically though he sounded touched by her high opinion of him. She nodded. "What are you doing here?" He asked.

Her gaze shifted towards me. "I'm here with Deidara. He's my boyfriend."

He looked at me. "Is this true?"

I nodded. "She is. Itachi-san was completely out of line. She's not one of the others so he has no right to her."

"I see," Kakuzu said calmly. He looked at her again. "Very well, I'll inform Itachi-san of the error. Please be more careful in the future." She nodded and he bowed respectfully. As he turned to leave he whispered to me. "Don't let it happen again. I would hate to see misfortune befall her."

I just blinked in confusion and he left without looking back. As the door slid closed I rounded on her. "How do you know him?"

"Who are the other girls?" She asked shrewdly.

"I asked you first," I said lamely. I didn't want to have to tell her yet.

"There are prostitutes here, aren't there?" She asked softly. "That's why Uchiha-san came onto me so fast and why Hoshigaki-san told me to leave." I swallowed nervously and nodded. She looked a little sad. "Then surely you know the truth."

I frowned as I drew closer. "The truth about what?"

"You've seen the tattoo, haven't you?" She persisted, desperate for me to figure it out so she wouldn't have to say it.

"You mean the one on your back?"

She slowly shook her head. Her mouth twitched, she wrung her hands, and she looked terrified. "No…the other one."

I cocked my head to the side. Why was so acting so afraid? "What are you talking about?"

She stood up, rolled up her shirt a little and pulled down the waistband of her skirt. Low on her hip was a small tattoo consisting of seven numbers. I frowned curiously. "That's a strange tattoo. What are the numbers for?"

"It's a serial number," she said in a hushed voice. "For keeping track of prostitutes."

I stared at her in complete shock as all color drained from my face. So that's why she panicked when I tried to undress her when I was seventeen. _If you get close to me…you won't like what you see._ She was afraid that I'd recognize it for what it was. Even the night we'd made love, she had been a little hesitant when we undressed. She looked away with shame as she sat back down on the bed and wrapped her arms around herself. "Yes," she whispered so softly that I could barely hear her. "I used to be one."

"But how? Why?" I blurted out.

"It wasn't by choice," she said flatly as she refused to make eye contact. Tears brimmed in her eye. "It happened when we moved to Iwagakure. Dad was such a drunken mess that it fell on me to provide for us. I was out looking for work but didn't know my way around the city yet. I accidentally wandered into the red light district."

My heart ached as I tried to imagine how terrified she must have felt; an eleven year old all on her own in a foreign city. She clasped her trembling hands together. "So I was snatched off the streets and sold to Oijima." She was quiet as the tears silently fell down her cheek. "Those two weeks…were…" her voice caught in her throat and the tears fell even faster.

I was still in a state of shock. I just couldn't believe it. How could this have happened to her? Who would do something like that? What exactly did she go through? She sniffled as she tried to stop crying but it was in vain. She was trying so hard to be brave. But perhaps that was the problem, she shouldn't be holding back at all. The agony in her eye ran so deep that it scared me. She always so mischievous but now I suspected that was how she masked her pain. That's how she lied to everyone close to her, smile and pretend like nothing's wrong. It broke my heart to see the girl I loved in such a state.

"I'm s-sorry," she sobbed, her beautiful voice trembled. "I know I should h-have told you before…it's just that…I was afraid that if you knew the truth…"

I dropped to my knees and took her hands in mine. She flinched and tried to pull away from me. I held on tighter. Her expression crumpled and her shoulders shook. She seemed so frail. I could feel her suffering and heard her heartbreak. My poor girl… "Look at me," I said, trying to keep my voice as calm as possible. I didn't want to scare her; she was too over-whelmed right now. She shook her head. "Look at me, hm!" I repeated firmly. She squeezed her eyes closed and shook her head faster. I caught her face in my hands and kissed her mouth. Her eyes flew open in surprise. I rested my forehead against hers. "I love you Natsume. It wasn't your fault and don't think for a second that this changes anything."

"But how can you overlook this when I can't?" Her bottom lip trembled. She looked with disgust at the tattoo on her hip. She was ashamed of it. I gently touched the numbers with my fingers. She flinched at my touch and looked surprised to see my soft smile. I kissed her again softly and tenderly as I kept it chaste. Now wasn't the time for passion but confirmation of my love for her. Her mouth tasted as sweet as ever, mingled with her salty tears. She moaned my name as her hand rested against my chest to push me back. But her hand trembled so the pressure was weak. "You can't…possibly…"

"You doubt my love for you?" I challenged as I pulled her into my arms and kissed her harder. She stiffened in surprise but I kept kissing her until she melted in my arms and kissed me back. I soon had to end it before I got too carried away. "There's nothing you could say that would make me think less of you."

She smirked gently as she stroked my cheek. "Your Dad said you'd say that."

"So he knows too?" I asked in mild surprise.

She nodded. "Yes, his investigation into my past was quite thorough. Only you, him, and K-san know."

"His name is Kakuzu-san," I reminded her. "And what does he have to do with any of this?" She lowered her gaze for a moment and I lifted her chin. "Don't be afraid to tell me. I want to hear it all, no matter how terrible it may be."

She nodded softly with a hint of a sad smile. "I fought back at every opportunity I had. I knew that Dad was waiting for me; he needed me to be there for him. I didn't want him to think I had abandoned him too. Resisting only increased the abuse and they worked hard to break my will…and nearly succeeded. I was already devastated by Mom's desertion and Dad's indifference. But this pain was infinitely worse and I couldn't take it anymore. To survive one horrific day only for the next one to be ten times worse…I had lost all hope of being rescued. Still I wouldn't give in to them either; I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of breaking me. So I tried to commit suicide."

I stared at her incredulously. Even in my darkest moment in the Nightshade Terrorist Camp suicide had never been considered. All I had wanted was to find purpose, a new reason to live. I couldn't imagine giving up like that.

She nodded slowly. "Yes I was that desperate. At the time death seemed more preferable, it would be eternal rest and freedom from the hell I had found myself in. They found me before I bled to death and unfortunately I recovered. I was closely monitored after that, locked away in my own room deprived of food and water during the hottest part of summer. For the first time I was left all alone but I constantly worried that the worst was yet to come."

I listened with bated breath and my heart pounded in my chest. She spoke so softly, clearly haunted by the memories of the past. Even though it happened twelve years ago, it was obvious that the pain was fresh in her mind. I couldn't even imagine what it must have felt like for her then. I didn't know this sort of thing happens to kids. Does it still?

She continued on. "Then he came."

"Kakuzu-san?"

She nodded. "I scrambled back against the wall, terrified that he was another customer. He introduced himself as 'K', took a seat, and silently watched me for a while. 'You have nothing to fear from me child,' he said.

'Liar!' I accused him. 'I don't believe you! I don't believe any of you!'

He didn't say anything for a while. 'You do realize that if you continue to prove uncooperative you will be killed?'

'The sooner the better!' I spat on the ground. He probably thought I was some savage. I thought I was being defiant. Perhaps it was a bit of both.

'You have spirit,' he concurred. 'Is there anything you do fear?'

At the time I thought it a strange question. After all it's not like anyone cared what I thought. But his question reminded me of my daily fear. 'My Dad dying all alone as he wonders where I am.'

'Is he ill?' He asked.

I shook my head. 'No only heartbroken.'

He seemed intrigued by that and didn't say anything for a moment. Then he stood up and bowed his head in farewell and left as silently as he entered."

"Then what happened?" I asked her.

"A few days later he broke into my room in the dead of night. By then I was so weak that I could barely move. He picked me up in his arms and carried me out," she said. "He didn't say a word, but I remember the lifeless bodies of the guards that had been stationed outside my room. I suspected he was responsible for that but was too afraid to ask. I was terrified that I was going to be next. He carried me outside, out of the red light district, and before long I recognized my house. I reached out a hand towards it and he nodded. 'Yes, you are going home.' He assured me that he had settled things with Oijima and his men so I wouldn't have to worry about them anymore. He also told me that my friend Chieko would be arriving within the hour to help care for me and my Dad. I couldn't believe it. As soon as he set me down, I fell at his feet and cried into the hem of his travel robe as I thanked him. He was silent for a long time before resting a hand on top of my head and said. 'Only the strong survive. Be strong and survive.'"

"What the crap?" I asked in exasperation. "What kind of parting advice is that?"

She wore a wry smile. "I guess it sounds weird but at the time it resonated with me. From that moment I decided to be a survivor and not a victim."

"Does your Dad know what happened?" I asked.

She shook her head sadly. "No, he was drunk most of the time then. He didn't even know I had been gone."

"But you told him what happened right?" I pressed. She shook her head again and my eyes widened. "Are you kidding me? How could you _not_ tell him?"

"What good would it have done?" She gently challenged me, her gaze cool. "He'd only have more regrets. There isn't anything he could have done about it and I just wanted to forget." That made sense and she was right that Masanori would have been devastated if he knew. Then she smirked. "I know you've wondered why I wasted my time with some of those perverts."

I nodded. I had wondered why didn't think it wise to ask.

"I know this is going to sound pretty beastly of me," she admitted. "I wanted all the thrill of romance without any of the commitment. Yes they were wrong to use me, but I was no less despicable. I used them every bit as much. I didn't want to risk losing my heart because I didn't want to end up like my Dad. He was a hollow shell of a man when Mom left. I resolved from then on to never fall in love." She sighed as she looked at me fondly; her hands gently cupped my face. "And then you came into my life and did something no one had ever bothered to do. You got to know me, got me to trust you, and loved me even in my worst moments. But now you that you know my secret you'll understand why I said you were too good for me."

"If you really felt that way," I asked softly. "Then why didn't you turn me away sooner?"

She ran her hands along my arms, my chest, my hair, and along my jaw line; gently touching me with her slender fingertips. I closed my eyes with pleasure and she softly kissed me. "Because you made me feel whole again, something I haven't felt since before Mom left. I…I was selfish and didn't want to lose that feeling."

"No, you weren't being selfish then," I murmured against her lips. "You were just living your impossible dream. And this is only the beginning of it."

She sighed as she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. "Then I hope I never wake up."


	28. Chapter 28: The Surprise

[Natsume's Point of View]

My heart felt lighter than it has in years. It was like a huge burden had been removed from my shoulders. I never thought I'd be so completely accepted by anyone. I had resigned myself to that fact long ago. What had happened to me then was so despicable and devastating. I've never had the courage to tell anyone about what had happened to me as a child; that experience had left me feeling so ashamed, violated, and terribly vulnerable. To say that I had been insecure would have been a terrible understatement. I had tried my best to move past it but keeping this terrible secret locked up tight had kept me from ever being truly happy. Something that traumatic could never be forgotten and the horror of those two weeks still lingered in the years that passed.

I had been terrified to tell Deidara but he deserved to know the truth. I was frightened that he'd reject me and turn me out. He should have felt as sickened as I did about it. And yet he kneels before me, his lips pressed against mine, and his arms wrapped around me. He declared his love again just as he always has. His feelings are unchanged. How is that possible? How can he so easily dismiss the repulsiveness of the whole thing? Why isn't he disgusted with me? And yet his touch was eager as he grew even more passionate. I was so happy that I felt ready to cry, laugh, and kiss him until I go insane. I felt so relived and grateful to finally be free from this long nightmare. I didn't have to hide myself away anymore. Deidara still loved me in spite of my dark part; his tender touch, kind words, and soft caress proved his sincerity. "Thank you," I whispered. "You don't know how much it means to me that you-"

He carefully pressed me into the bed. "I love you Natsume," he interrupted as he whispered along my neck. "I have from the very first day I met you. You've always been the girl of my dreams."

I melted in his gentle embrace. His touch was tender and lingering, as if he simply adored me. I knew in my heart that he did and I felt so grateful to have him back in my life again. But this should have been impossible; after my rejection and his desertion the odds of us meeting again were next to none. And yet here we are, together not just physically but emotionally as well. So does that mean that we're meant to be? I'm not sure I'd go that far. I'm not really into the whole and-they-lived-happily-ever-after mentality. Life changes too much to ever be sure of anything that permanent. Just because we're together now…doesn't mean we'll be together in the future. I'll admit that the uncertainty bothered me a little…ok a lot…but I distracted myself from such doubts. I kissed and caressed him passionately just so I could hear him whimper and feel his body tremble with pleasure. I love driving him wild; and it's so easy too. He's too inexperienced for his own good. I plan to cure him of that in the near future.

At the end he lay beside me and I rested my head on his bare chest as I snuggled close. "I love you Dei-Dei," I whispered softly.

"When did you know?" He asked as he gently stroked my hair.

My grip tightened involuntarily as my mouth suddenly went dry. I didn't want to remember but the memories came flooding back. "The night I rejected you."

"Hm." He grunted softly. "Then why didn't you come back?"

I pulled away and sat up with my back to him. "I thought you deserved better. I respected you too much to give in to you."

He sat up and cuddled me from behind. "Let's not worry about the past because we can't change it," he said soothingly. "We both screwed up. Instead let's focus on where we're at now."

I sighed in exasperation as I leaned into him. "Doesn't the past ever bother you?"

"I have my own share of regrets," he said softly. I sensed that he still had secrets of his own. I didn't harbor that against him. He'll tell me whenever he feels ready to share, just like me. I turned my head to see his soft, thoughtful gaze. He was definitely lost in his private thoughts. But then his eyes suddenly brightened as he stubbornly said. "But I refuse to let them limit me. Are you saying that you do?"

I wore a guilty smile. "Yes, more than I care to admit."

His gaze was nearly methodical as he processed this confession. "You're more vulnerable than I ever would have imagined."

I blushed as I looked away in embarrassment. "I try not to be…but it can't really be helped sometimes. I guess…I dunno…I just feel less guarded around you."

"That's a good thing," he chuckled as he nibbled on my earlobe. "You don't have to hide from me anymore. I'll love you no matter what you say."

"Oh really?" I smirked. "So if I told you that I've fallen for Tobi-san-"

"I'd hate you forever, hm!" He snapped. But he knew I was just teasing him so we both laughed. "C'mon, let's get some lunch," he said as he gently pushed me out of bed so he could climb out. "Then there's something I want to show you afterward."

We quickly dressed and he took my hand as we walked down the corridor together. The kitchen was much easier to find this time. I had gone completely the wrong way before. Thankfully it was empty. This was more like a cafeteria than a kitchen though, with a staff and chef. But I guess that makes sense, I don't imagine these villains bothering to cook their own meals. We sat down to eat when Tobi joined us. "Have you heard the latest gossip, Senpai? Oh it's a shame how quickly these rumors spread and how slanderous they are towards you Pretty Girl-chan," he said in a sympathetic tone. "As if you would really cheat on Senpai with Itachi-san."

I opened my mouth to explain that it was all just a misunderstanding but Deidara curtly said. "You shouldn't believe everything you hear, hm."

"Oh yes, you're quite right," Tobi readily agreed as he sat beside him. "Nothing but lies usually. So what are we going to do today Senpai?"

"We have no new assignments so you're free to do whatever you want," Deidara said as he ate quietly.

Tobi acted excited as he turned towards me and grabbed my hands. "In that case lets-"

"Hands off!" Deidara snapped as he slapped his partner's hands away. "She's my girl so you leave her alone!"

My heart raced at his statement and I smiled proudly. I'm his girl, that pleased me to no end. I guess the old saying is true: every girl wants to be loved and protected by a strong man. And the fact that Deidara can do that made me feel happier than I ever imagined I could be. _Wow I had no idea being in love would make me be so sappy. _I thought to myself with a gentle smirk._ I'd better get a hold of myself before I go as googly-eyed as Airi_.

Tobi cringed as he bowed his head in mock shame. "You're so selfish Senpai!" He pouted in that whiny voice of his.

Deidara ignored him. "I'm ready to go Natsume when you are."

I nodded as I put down my chopsticks. "So where are we going?"

"I'll tell you later." Deidara said as he glared at Tobi.

"Fine Tobi can take a hint," he said with a melancholy air. He stood up and walked away with slumped shoulders.

"Why are you always so hard on him?" I asked with a frown.

"Because he's annoying, that's why," Deidara said flatly as he helped me out of my chair. "But he's also right," he smirked as he pulled me into his arms and kissed me lightly. "I'm completely selfish. I'm not going to share you with anyone else."

I smirked gently as I tweaked his nose. "That's good. So now will you tell me where we're going?"

"I'll tell you on the way," he promised as he took my hand. "It's meant to be a surprise."

He led me outside and slipped his hand into the clay pouch strapped to his waist. The mouth on his hand chewed it greedily and I grimaced slightly. As fascinating as his ability was to make art come alive, the process still weirded me out a little. But I was determined to get used to it. If he can live with the fact that I used to be a child prostitute, I can live with the fact that he has mouths on his hands. He held his palm up as it spat out a bird. He threw it high into the air and it exploded into a giant bird. He smirked at my surprise and reached out for my hand. "C'mon let's go."

"On that?" I asked hesitantly.

He nodded as he pulled me close. "Yeah, it'll be fun, trust me." He chakra-leaped us onto it's back. "Now hold on tight," he cautioned.

I wrapped my arms tightly around him as the bird lifted its mighty wings. It took off with such great force that I felt my stomach jump into my throat. I closed my eyes as I swallowed my nausea down to a manageable level. Perhaps I shouldn't have eaten so much before we left. When I opened my eyes I was completely amazed at the beauty of the view below. We were soaring high through the air, literally flying. It was another thing that should be impossible. I'm starting to wonder if anything is impossible when it comes to Deidara.

I craned my head as I looked around in wonder. He chuckled at my reaction. "Pretty cool huh?"

I grinned and nodded. "So _now_ will you tell me?"

"Nope," he smirked. "I'm going to leave you guessing until the last possible moment."

"You're so mean," I grumbled.

He just laughed as he rested his hand over mine and patted it reassuringly. "It'll be worth the wait." I smiled as I rested my head on his back. I continued to enjoy the view from the safety of his presence. After a few minutes he pointed up ahead to a small lake. "There's our destination."

I brightened up at the prospect. I haven't been swimming in so long; touring had kept me too busy for that sort of thing. I longed to feel the cool water against my skin. As we were coming in low for a landing, I let go and jumped off. Naturally Deidara freaked out but I laughed. The wind rushed up and I spun lazily around just before I drove into the brisk water. It was cool and clear, with white sand at the bottom.

Deidara was circling around as he searched for me. "There you are!" He sighed with relief as he flew towards me. "What were you thinking? A drop like that could have killed you, hm!"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh give me a break, I wouldn't be that reckless."

"I wouldn't put it past you," he smirked gently as he reached out to pull me up. Instead I pulled him down to join me. He came up sputtering as he glared at me. "What was that for? This water is f-f-f-freezing, hm!"

"Then I'll just have to warm you up," I flirted as I pulled him into my arms and kissed him.

"You're such a tease." He chuckled as he kissed me back. "Now let's swim to shore."

I groaned. "Don't tell me that we have a schedule to keep." He was beginning to sound like Kazuhiko.

"It's not that," he assured me. "It's just that these blasted robes are super heavy when they're wet. Besides this…isn't the…real surprise," he forced out as he struggled to swim away.

I swam beside him and helped him. He wasn't kidding about that robe; it was ridiculously heavy as I heaved him up onto the shore. He quickly tossed it off and threw it over his shoulder. "Looks like we'll have to make a brief detour into town to do some shopping. I'm not going to be soaking wet for our date."

"Oooooh a date," I grinned deviously as I linked arms with him. "Does the secret emerge at last?"

He smirked. "That's not the secret and besides I should have thought it was already obvious that we're on a date."

There was a little village nearby, quite rural in most respects, which had one clothing shop. Deidara purchased something very similar to what he used to wear when I first met him. I chose something off the shoulders that hugged my figure. It was not revealing but more subtly sexy. I enjoyed the way his eyes lit up when he saw me. After he paid he took my hand and led me back towards the lake. We went for a leisurely stroll it seemed, just walking along the shore, letting the water splash lightly over our feet.

"This brings back memories, doesn't it hm?" He asked softly as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

I nodded. "Of that summer in Shimizu…"

"Our first date was at that carnival, remember?" He asked.

"How could I forget?" I asked with a smile. We continued to reminisce about that magical summer that had left such an impression on both of us. In truth it was where our friendship started and perhaps even our romance.

"Whatever became of your Dad and Chieko-san?" He asked curiously.

"They got married a few months after you left. They live in Shimizu now. In Dad's last letter she was about to have their first baby."

"No way!" He exclaimed as his face lit up with childish enthusiasm. "For real?"

I nodded with a proud smile. "Yeah, she's probably had it by now. I got that letter two months ago."

His smile faded as he gazed at me thoughtfully. "How do you feel about it?"

I gave him a funny look. "How should I feel?"

"You don't feel left out at all? Or replaced?" He questioned intently.

I smirked gently. "Not at all, I'm very happy for them. They have their life and I have mine."

"I hope you'll tell me more about what you've been up to since I left but first," He pointed up ahead to a little snack shop. "The surprise awaits."

It looked like an ordinary snack shop. I failed to see what the surprise was. Then he ordered something I've never heard of before. It was served in a waffle cone and whipped up in a spiral fashion. It tasted like whipped and heavily-creamed strawberry milk. My eyes went wide with surprise and delight.

"Do you like it?" he asked.

"I love it!" I exclaimed as I licked it again.

"I'm glad to hear it," he smirked as he took my hand and led me back down the beach. We made ourselves comfortable on the sand as we ate our treat. It had to be eaten quickly because it started to melt. It was absolutely delicious. "So tell me," he said as he started to eat the cone. "What happened to you after I left?"

"I was interrogated as part of the investigation of your desertion," I said.

He frowned at that. "Why? You had nothing to do with it."

"Not directly no," I said as I stared out into the setting sun. Its crimson rays bathed the mountainside in red flame…very much like Iwagakure's destruction that night. Deidara's hand gently shook my shoulder, stirring me out of my unpleasant memories. "It was determined that I was the last person you spoke to before you were genjutsued so they asked lots of questions."

He looked worried. "You weren't charged or anything…were you?"

I shook my head. "No, in the end no charges were pressed. They figured your actions were too extreme to be that of a jilted lover."

He sighed with relief. "What else happened?"

I didn't want to remember that dark time, where my emotions were raw and my heart was broken. "I took your loss really hard," I said I drew a shaky breath. "I regretted leaving you behind…and blamed myself for your actions."

"Oh Natsume," he said sympathetically as he held me close. "I already said that it wasn't your fault."

I wore an awkward side smile. "I had no way of knowing that then. I was left wondering if I even knew you at all. The Deidara I knew…wasn't the one I saw destroying Iwagakure." I said softly.

He remained silent as he gently stroked my hair. He patiently listened as I told him about how terribly I had missed him, how the reminders became a torment, how art had lost its appeal, and how desperately I wanted a new start. "So I took my money and went on the road; just traveled for the fun of it. I learned a lot about myself and what I really wanted. It's around that time that I met Kazuhiko."

He stiffened for a moment and I giggled. "You really hate him, don't you?"

"Yes," he said tersely.

"Why?" I asked.

"He wanted to marry you." He said as if that explained it all.

"Big deal," I scoffed. "It's not like I said yes so I don't see why it makes any difference."

"He loves you," he murmured. "And you said that he was very special to you." He didn't sound accusing, merely inquisitive.

"He is special to me," I agreed. "He saved me…in a sense." Deidara didn't ask for clarification so he must be waiting for my explanation. I stared out into the horizon once again. "He was a fan of my work back in Iwagakure. He helped me find joy in it again so really, in a sense, I owe him my entire career. He was a friend, a confidante, a protector…more like a big brother really." I hesitated for a moment. "When he first told me that he loved me…I'll admit I nearly gave into him." He tensed for a moment but remained quiet so I continued. "Throughout that whole journey I had decided that I wanted to find someone like you: someone who loves me, respects me, and treats me right. I knew that Kazuhiko could give me those things…and yet it didn't feel right. It was during our kiss that I realized I didn't want someone_ like_ you, I wanted _you_. So much so that during the kiss I accidentally moaned your name."

Deidara chuckled evilly as he gave me a squeeze. "That's my girl, hm."

I giggled softly. "You definitely left an impression on me, that's for sure."

"Have I really?" He asked quietly.

I nodded as I snuggled close. "Yes you have."

"Hm." He grunted with pride. Together we silently watched the sun slip behind the distant mountains. The waves gently broke against the shore, stirring up a refreshingly cool breeze. "What do you say we have a little swim before we head back?" He suggested.

I frowned as I looked down. "I don't want to get my new dress wet."

"Then I guess you'll just have to take it off then," he chuckled deviously as he started to unfasten the back of my dress. He gently kissed along my shoulder as he slowly unbuttoned my dress.

I giggled softly as my dress relaxed and slipped down around my waist. "You just can't get enough of me, can you?" I teased as I tweaked his nose.

"Nope and be warned now, I probably never will," he grinned from ear to ear as he pulled me up to stand. The dress slid down to my ankles and his eyes ran down my figure with satisfaction. "I can't believe you're really mine…" he whispered as he slid his hands down my sides to rest on my hips. I leaned in to kiss him but instead he scooped me up into his arms and carried me into the water. "By the way, I know that you lied."

I frowned. "About what?"

"That night in Shimizu…it wasn't a dream at all," he flashed me a cunning smile.

I blushed and lowered my gaze. "How did you find out?"

"Your bra washed up on shore the next morning."

I covered my face in shame. "I can explain-"

"Don't bother," he said as he put me down. "I knew that you weren't ready so that's why I didn't push it then. All I'm saying is that I'd like to pick up where we left off that night. What'dya say?"

"That's fine by me…as long as you don't faint again." I teased as I wrapped my arms around his next

He chuckled as he leaned in to kiss me. "Not a chance."

There under the majesty of the night sky we shared an exhilarating kiss. My heart was filled to over-flowing with such foreign emotions. I've never felt this passionately about anyone before. It wasn't just a matter of getting the ultimate physical high as it was about two souls becoming one. Deidara wasn't just a guy I was crushing on. He was my essence, my strength, and my foundation. Before our connection had felt so natural, so intrinsically right, and now was no different. Only now we knew each others secrets, hidden horrors, and regrets. As happy as I felt, there was still that twinge of doubt in the pit of my stomach. The depths of this emotion left me feeling vulnerable, sensitive, and exposed. That frightened me and I was tempted to hold back. I'm afraid that if I give my all to him that I'd be left with nothing if this somehow fails to work out.

"Don't be afraid of how you feel," he whispered against my soft, trembling skin. I gasped slightly; even in the midst of passion he seemed to understand my remaining reluctance. "You know me Natsume, better than anyone else does. You'd know if I wasn't the right one for you. Trust in me, in yourself, and above all trust in us."

"But what if it doesn't work out?" I blurted out. "What if something terrible happens like you leave me or I get tired of you?"

He considered me for a moment with his deep blue eyes. "What if it does work out? What if nothing terrible happens and we stay together?" He tenderly stroked my cheek. "I don't know what will happen anymore than you do. But I do know how I feel about you right now and I'm not afraid to act on it. You have nothing to lose by being yourself…after all that's who I fell madly in love with." He murmured just before he kissed me again.

His optimistic spirit, kind words, and gentle caress soothed my soul as my lingering doubts were silenced at last. I trust him with all my heart…and it's about time I trusted in us. Haven't I spent many lonely nights wishing for a second chance to show him how much I loved him? Of course I have so why would I suddenly be hesitant? Even if this relationship were to end badly, I know that I'd never regret the time we'd had. I would still be grateful that I allowed him into my heart. So again does that mean that we were meant to be? I still don't know that. But now I know that I don't have to either. The things I _do_ know far outweigh what I don't. I know that Deidara loves me and that I love him. That is enough.


	29. Chapter 29: Come to Me

[Natsume's Point of View]

We returned to the base well after midnight and slept-in the following morning. I stirred awake when Deidara kissed my forehead. "Good morning Natsume," he murmured affectionately.

I cracked a side smile as I opened my eye. "Good morning." I yawned and stretched lazily. "What time is it?"

He propped himself up on one elbow as he leaned over me, his hand resting lightly on my stomach. "One in the afternoon."

"Well then there's no point in getting out of bed now," I giggled as I rubbed my eye sleepily. "By the time I'm fully awake it'll be almost time for bed again."

He smirked. "Stay in bed by all means, but I've received a summons from Pein-sama. I have to go."

My brow knit with worry. "Is it another mission?"

"I don't know," he confessed. "But I better go get ready." He climbed out of bed and went into the bathroom to bathe and dress.

I sat up in bed and stretched again. I looked around with a frown. Again the size of the room bothered me…its cold metallic walls seemed so stifling. This was no way to live. I needed space, sunlight, color; perhaps I could look for a new place in town while he's at his meeting. I don't relish the idea of waiting here for him. I quickly dressed and threw my hair up in a messy bun. When Deidara came out, we got something to eat in the cafeteria. Kisame and Itachi were there, as well as a few others I didn't know. Kisame's greeting was friendly while Itachi's porcelain face was unreadable. He doesn't make any sense to me. How can he be so indifferent after his aggressive passion before? Was he so cold to be completely past feeling? Oh well, I suppose I ought to be grateful. This means he'll leave me alone now.

While Deidara and I were eating I brought up my idea of going into town to look for an apartment. He frowned severely. "But why would you need your own place?"

"For lots of reasons," I said. "One of which I don't want to feel like a pet caged up in your room. I need to be free to go and do what I please too."

He opened his mouth to protest but then hesitated for a moment instead. Then he sighed and nodded in resignation. "I guess that makes sense, hm. I'll take you to town after my meeting."

I frowned. "How long will it be?"

He shrugged. "I dunno."

I groaned. "I don't want to wait. I can go on my own, you know. Just give me directions and I'll figure it out myself."

"It's not safe for you to go wandering-" He started to protest.

"Around here," I finished for him. "But surely it's safe on the outside."

"Can't you just wait for me?" He growled impatiently.

"I'll give you an hour," I said firmly as I folded my arms across my chest. "That's my compromise."

He frowned and then softened into a smirk. "You're still as stubborn as ever."

Suddenly a pink package all wrapped up with curly ribbons materialized on the table before me. I jumped in surprise. "For you Pretty Girl-chan!" Tobi said behind me as he leaned over my chair. "Open it!"

Deidara's expression hardened suspiciously but I was curious. I slowly unwrapped it as I tried to guess what was inside. But I couldn't guess what he'd given me. Inside the box was a bunch of tissue paper. I lifted it up and stared wide-eyed. "Oh my…this is…uh…"

"What? What is it, hm?" Deidara asked as he leaned forward to see.

I quickly put the lid back on. "Thank you Tobi-san, its very generous of you but-"

"What's inside?" Deidara asked firmly.

"Go on, show Senpai," Tobi giggled mischievously.

"Perhaps back in our room-" I protested.

"NOW!" Deidara snapped as he snatched the box away. He threw open the lid and tossed out the tissues. Then he stared impossibly wide-eyed as he went deathly pale. I cringed as I waited for his temper to explode. "What…is…this..?" He forced out.

"Oh Senpai, surely you recognize lingerie when you see it," Tobi said in a patronizing tone. "You blew up her last pair so Tobi thought-"

"You thought wrong, hm!" Deidara shouted as he jumped to his feet.

Tobi squeaked in terror and raced out of the room. Deidara made to follow after him but I grabbed a hold of his shoulders and shoved him back down into his chair. "Cool it! You're making a scene!" I hissed in a low tone.

"How can you be so calm about this?" He seethed, red-faced with anger.

"We'll talk about this later…_without_ an audience," I said as I jerked my head to point out how everyone was staring at us.

Deidara looked decidedly sour but nodded curtly. Then we walked away, leaving the package behind. It was best to just forget about it. I took his hand as we walked and squeezed it reassuringly but it did little to cool his temper. He was absolutely quiet with a thunderous look in his eyes and his mouth formed a thin, angry line. I sighed and kept quiet. I guess he's going to need some time to calm down. I entered the bedroom alone and he went off to his meeting.

I got really bored waiting and started poking around his room. I came across one of his clay pouches and pulled out a handful. It felt heavy and rubbery. I frowned curiously at it. I'm not familiar with this kind, was it specifically designed for him? I'm sure he wouldn't mind me using a little of it.

I sat at his desk and tried to make something with it. It was very hard to work with; he made it look so easy. It wasn't as pliable as I'm used to working with. I did my best but in the end I looked over my creation with a skeptical gaze.

"I see that you're not content with the final result," said a voice behind me.

I know that voice. I will _never_ forget that voice. Itachi Uchiha; here in this very room. I stiffened involuntarily as my heart raced. My eyes flew at the door; it was still locked. How did he get inside without my noticing? I slowly turned around to see him sitting serenely on the bed. His ebony eyes pierced my soul; those eyes seem to see all. I struggled to keep my cool. "If you're looking for Deidara, he's not here." I said in as calm a tone as I could manage despite my rising panic.

"I can see that for myself," he murmured softly.

I stood up with my arms folded defiantly across my chest. I wasn't going to let him get the best of me. "Then what are you doing here?"

"You left this behind." He smirked as he held up the package.

I blushed. "I left it behind because I didn't want it. You're welcome to throw it away on your way out." I said firmly as I dared to look him in the eye. I was determined to show no trace of fear. I'm well aware of his deadly reputation; even among shinobi he's considered elite. I don't stand a chance against him should he chose to strike. But I refuse to be weak; I won't back down. He set the package down on the bed but looked content to stay put. I furrowed my brow. "Why are you still here?" I demanded.

He was contemplative for a moment but then the corner of his mouth rose in a sort of smile. "What would you say if I apologized for yesterday?"

I blinked in surprise for a moment. Then I arched a suspicious brow. Regret leads to remorse and he didn't look like either. "I'd say you were a liar," I said bluntly.

"Would you now?" He asked as he rose slowly and approached me. For a moment a flicker of fear spread across my face and I don't doubt that he noticed it. He sees all with those dark eyes that hypnotize and entice. He looked smug with satisfaction.

I stuck my chin out stubbornly. "Yes I would. You're too arrogant and self-centered to willingly admit weakness. I don't believe you're sorry at all so don't waste my time with fake apologies!"

I turned on my heel and stormed towards the door. Outside couldn't be any more dangerous than it was in here. I grabbed the doorknob and suddenly his hand rested over mine. It was surprisingly warm for a man who seemed as cold as ice. He stood close behind me. I got chills when I felt his soft, warm breath tickling the back of my neck. His closeness unnerved me and cracked my resolve to be strong. "I see that you understand me well," He replied with a chuckle. "You're more insightful than I gave you credit for."

His mouth brushed against the back of my neck which made me gasp. He can't do this! Didn't Kakuzu tell him about the mistake?

"I-I'm not one of those other girls," my voice cracked fearfully as I tried to explain.

"I know," he murmured seductively as his lips continued to caress my neck and bare shoulder. "You're far more extraordinary."

His other hand started to probe my sensitive areas. I closed my eyes tightly as I tried to ignore the feelings he was stirring up inside me. It wasn't love but lust. The body can respond passionately with just the right touch: love doesn't have to factor into it at all. I hated to admit it but I recognized myself in him. How many times have I done this to other guys? Just to make myself feel better? To boost my ego while I was in control? I've never been on the flipside before. In spite of my best efforts to keep silent, I groaned softly as his hand came to rest low against my abdomen. His fingertips gently pressed against my skin as they trembled with anticipation. Oh how he reminded me of Ryo, persistent, passionate, and pigheadedly selfish. I can't believe I used to be attracted to guys like this. What a jerk! "I know your type all too well," I said angrily through clenched teeth.

"Enlighten me," he whispered against my skin.

"You're the type who uses his good looks and passionate touch to over-whelm and seduce. It's all about meeting your perverted needs. Your lies are sweet as honey while your truth is bitter as vinegar. You fill the moment with aggressive passion that blinds the senses and dulls the mind. If you didn't do that, the girl would clearly see you for what you are: a cold, heartless, womanizer who cares for no one but himself." Itachi paused for a moment and I smirked to myself. If only I could see his face at this moment. How humiliating it must feel to be called out. "You know that I'm right." I said smugly.

"If you truly believe that, then why aren't you resisting me?" He purred softly.

Now I was embarrassed and lowered my head with shame. Perhaps I wasn't as strong as I made myself out to be. I was well aware that my old self would be in bed with him by now. His devious sex appeal was as irresistible as Ryo's had been. But that wasn't entirely true. I had allowed Ryo to take advantage of my insecurity and loneliness. I was too weak-willed, desperate to feel loved, and quickly succumbed. That wasn't the case now. I was stronger, more independent, and satisfied with Deidara's love for me. I didn't need Itachi's false promises and caresses to feel good about myself. Normally I'd be fighting back but I'll admit that I'm terrified of this powerful man who could render me powerless with just his eyes. But I'm also angry and the combination threatened to over-whelm me. My hands curled into fists. "I'm not afraid of you!" I snapped.

He chuckled. "Now who is the liar?" He said as he turned me around. "I can sense your fear but also…something else…" He leaned into me, closing what little distance had remained. "Desire," He whispered softly. I trembled as his lips caressed my brow, my nose, and my cheeks, so very close to my lips. My pulse raced and I felt a panic attack coming on. _Oh Deidara! Come back already!_ I screamed inside my mind.

He pulled back slightly to captivate me with his penetrating gaze. There was such richness and depth to its darkness. But why wasn't he using the Sharingan? Not that it mattered much; even left to his own his gaze was mesmerizing. "You need to be with me," he said firmly, his tone was very persuasive…to the weak-willed that is. "And you will be…sooner or later…"

I glared at him. "That's _never_ going to happen."

I knew by his hungry look exactly why he was here. He wanted to claim me; possess and captivate me but he also felt challenged by my refusal, perhaps even insulted. Guys this good-looking generally pride themselves in that so it's very insulting to be rejected. It would now be considered weakness to accept my rejection; no, his pride wouldn't allow that. A man like him would never give up what he felt was rightfully his. The only question now is to what lengths he'll go to get what he wants.

"You are not worth my time," I said slowly and deliberately. "Leave. Now."

Nothing happened for a few minutes, his expression was impassive once again. I waited with bated breath, growing more worried with each passing second. Then he grabbed hold of my chin as he looked at my lips. "You will come to me before long," he whispered with a voice sweeter than chocolate. "We both know you need a man who can satisfy _all_ of your needs…not some foolish boy whose inexperience is laughable."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You don't know _anything_ about me."

He leaned in close, his lips hovering over mine and his breath warm in my face. I closed my eyes to avoid looking into his handsome face with alluring eyes. If he were to force himself on me again, I wouldn't be able to stop him. I waited, with my heart pounding inside my chest, for his next move. But nothing happened. I opened my eyes to find myself alone once again.

Feeling weak with relief I collapsed to my knees as I pressed a hand against my racing heart. So for once he spoke the truth. He really was going to wait for my next move. That should have relieved me. As long as I keep refusing him, he should keep his distance. But men like that are not very patient. Will there ever come a time when his patience wears out?


	30. Chapter 30: Deidara's Question

[Deidara's Point of View]

I'll admit I was super relieved to discover that the meeting was nothing more than Pein praising me for a job well done last time. I was afraid that I'd be sent on another mission. I know it's my duty to serve without hesitation, but having Natsume here complicates that a little….ok a lot. I'd worry about leaving her behind. That's the only reason I agreed to her apartment idea earlier. It might not be such a bad idea for her to be busy with other pursuits while I'm gone. The other members don't bother with the city; it's large and we're too well known as criminals. She should be safe there. As I turned the corner I accidentally bumped into Kakuzu. He narrowed his eyes threateningly and I squeaked out an apology. "What is she still doing here?" His deep voice growled.

I blinked in surprise before I realized that he meant Natsume. "Why do you care?"

"She doesn't belong here," he said firmly as he practically loomed over me. "I cannot guarantee her safety and thus far you have been unable to either."

I reddened. "I can protect her just fine, hm!"

"Send her away before _I_ do." And with that he started to walk away.

"Kakuzu-san!" I called after him. "I've been meaning to ask you. Why did you save Natsume?"

He stopped mid-step and looked at me over his shoulder. "Why would you ask that?"

"It just doesn't sound like something you'd do," I said bluntly.

"No, I suppose not," he said softly. "But my reasons are my own and none of your concern."

"Then at least tell me what became of Oijima and his goons so I can kill them!"

"You think that vengeance will solve anything? Or even death for that matter?" He grunted disapprovingly. "You are too young and inexperienced. You have yet to learn that villainy doesn't start or end with one person. Killing Oijima would be meaningless for another would only take his place and carry on his work. His death would not erase the pain of her past or reverse what has happened."

"But he deserves to die after what he put her through, hm!" I stubbornly insisted.

He arched an eyebrow. "And what do you know of that?"

I opened my mouth to speak but then realized that I didn't actually know what she'd gone through. She hadn't been that specific. "I…I don't…"

"If she does not see fit to tell you then neither do I," he said firmly and turned to walk away.

I felt like such a fool, standing there alone in the middle of the corridor. I scowled after him. Oh well there's nothing left to be done about it. As I walked back to my room I encountered Itachi. He was wearing his Akatsuki robe loosely with one arm hanging out casually. Why does he do that? Because he thinks it makes him look all mysterious? No, it makes him look like an idiot. Normally he doesn't bother with eye contact, so naturally I was surprised when he looked right at me. He smirked deviously and passed by without a word. I shuddered involuntarily. That Uchiha is super I opened my bedroom door I found Natsume sitting on the floor in a state of absolute shock. I crouched down curiously. "What are you doing on the floor?"

She blinked in surprise when she realized that I was right in front of her. She looked embarrassed as she flicked her long hair over her shoulder. "Nothing, nothing at all." She said quickly as her gaze averted.

I turned her chin towards me and leaned in closer. "C'mon Natsume, don't hide things from me so out with it already."

She swallowed nervously. "He…was here…" she whispered. She didn't have to even say his name; there was only one person she could be referring to. I felt my temper about to explode. What had Itachi been doing here? There's no way she would have let him in, I know that for sure. My hands curled into trembling fists. How dare he? Is no place here safe for her? I felt terrible as I remembered Kazuhiko's accusing words. He was absolutely right; I've placed her in harms way and failed to protect her. I felt so ashamed. "I'm sorry," I said softly as I pulled her into my arms and hugged her tightly. "I've put you in such danger-"

"Don't be ridiculous," she scolded as she pulled away and stood up. "The situation is bad enough without you taking the blame." Her back was to me as she stuffed a few remaining things into her knapsack. "It's just another reason why I shouldn't stay here."

"Do you regret coming after all?" I asked with my heart in my throat.

She shook her head as she turned back towards me. She wore a tender smile. "No I don't. I don't regret being with you at all. But I do regret running into Uchiha-san," she chuckled darkly as she slung her knapsack over her shoulder. "Let's go already."

She took my hand with a warm smile and we left. Along the way she told me what she was hoping to find in terms of an apartment and started to get excited about it. I was a little confused at how quickly she seemed to get over the terror of Itachi but in some ways that made sense. She's used to pretending everything's all right when it's really not. I stopped her. "About Itachi-san-" I started but she placed a finger over my lips and shook her head.

"We don't need to talk about him anymore," she gently insisted. "My moving out should solve the problem so what do we need to worry about now?"

I nodded uneasily. I'm familiar with Itachi's persistence and sensed the problem wasn't going to be solved that easily. But let her think she's safe because she will be. I'll do everything in my power to protect her. She won't have to worry about him ever again. So we went into the city (with me in disguise of course) and went apartment shopping. Even in this city she had a reputation as a famous artist so she found one within a matter of hours. It was a large two bedroom place; she had insisted on that so she could have a studio of her own. It even had a great view that overlooked the city. I liked it quite a bit, it sure was better than my place. "How are you going to afford this?" I asked curiously.

"Kazuhiko gave me some money before I left."

I bristled. "Then forget it! I'm not having him buy you a place!"

She rolled her eyes. "It's my salary you spaz," she groaned. "You know the money I _earned_ while I was on tour?" She said sarcastically. I reddened in embarrassment and she giggled as she pulled me in for a kiss. "Seriously you need to relax. You're the only man for me so be confident in that."

My hands rested low on her hips as I enjoyed the tender kiss. Soft or passionate, her kisses always give me a thrill. _She's incredibly sexy and she's all mine_, I thought with pleasure. "I say the next thing you should get is a bed," I chuckled deviously as I continued to kiss her.

"Big surprise," she giggled as she pulled away. "But I might as well. I don't want to sleep on the floor tonight."

So we went shopping and she picked out a large feather bed with down blankets and fluffy pillows. After it was delivered we set it up. It took a lot of work and afterwards we laid down for break. I held her close and enjoyed how her body, with its soft curves, felt in my arms. It still felt so surreal. After years of longing to do this; sneaking in quick kisses and a brief touch here and there, she was finally mine. The loving way she looked at me made my heart soar. "I love you," I whispered. "So very much."

Her smile grew even wider, and the light in her eye even brighter. "I know and I've never been happier."

We lay close for a few more minutes until my stomach growled super loudly. She laughed and sat up. "Well I guess its time to get some dinner. Let's find someplace to eat."

We found a nice little restaurant nearby and had a great time. We ate great food, talked about favorite memories, laughed, and flirted. I love spending time with her, she reminds me of who I used to be and wish I still was. She reached out to hold my hand over the table, her fingers intertwining with mine. She smiled softly as her love for me radiated from her tender gaze. The noise of the crowded restaurant faded into the background and all I saw was her. I leaned across the table to kiss her. She leaned in too, those full pink lips puckered slightly. Oh how I couldn't wait to taste them again. Then suddenly Tobi's head came up through the middle of the table, just in time for both of us to kiss either side of his face.

"Aw Tobi feels so loved!" He squealed with glee.

"You idiot!" I snapped as I slammed my fist through his head and accidentally cracked the center of the table. How does he do that? "What are you doing here, hm?"

He ducked back under the table and re-appeared beside it. "Kisame-san wants to speak with you. He sent Tobi to find you."

I groaned. "You could have tapped me on the shoulder like a normal person." I looked sheepishly at Natsume. "I better go then."

"Pretty Girl-chan won't be coming back with us?" Tobi asked curiously. She shook her head. "But why?"

"It's none of your concern," I said as I stood up and left some money on the table to pay. "Let's go, I don't want to keep Kisame no Danna waiting." I leaned over to kiss the top of her head. "I'll be back later ok?"

She pulled my collar down to give me a real kiss, a sweet lingering one that sent a rush throughout my entire body. "I look forward to it," she murmured in a sexy tone as she winked and let go of me.

I was reluctant to leave her behind but she should safely blend into this thriving metropolis. _She was on her own for two years, she obviously had the street smarts to survive_, I reminded myself as Tobi and I walked out of the restaurant. The sun's last rays were being swallowed by the rising darkness. The numerous neon lights of the city blazed brightly, giving the area a bit of a kaleidoscopic flare. The longer we walked the more the flashing colors started to give me a headache. I pressed a hand against my aching forehead and groaned.

"You miss Pretty Girl-chan already?" Tobi commiserated as he patted me on the back in a pitying gesture.

I shrugged him off. "No, these lights are just giving me a headache, hm," I grumbled as I blinked to restore clarity to my vision.

"Why didn't she come with us? She's not breaking up with you, is she?" He queried.

I shook my head. "She's not your concern Tobi, just forget about it." Then I suddenly remembered his present this morning and glared at him. "Speaking of which you sure had a lot of nerve to buy her something that scandalous!"

Tobi shrugged. "Not really. Tobi likes Pretty Girl-chan; she's friendly and laughs at Tobi's jokes. She deserves nice things. Besides Tobi wouldn't have to buy those things if _you _were already doing that."

I glared at him and opened my mouth to snap at him but we were nearly at the base and Kisame was making his way towards us. Tobi turned on his heel and went elsewhere leaving us alone. Kisame frowned at me worriedly. "Where is Natsume-san?"

"She's safe," I said vaguely.

"Where?" He persisted.

I frowned back. "She's in the city; she's decided to not stay at the base anymore."

He looked a little more at ease and nodded. "That's good. I trust she told you about what happened this morning. I've only just learned it myself."

I shook my head warily. His worry was starting to make _me_ worry. He started to tell me about Itachi sneaking into my room and I assured him that I knew about that. "Did she tell you what he said?" I shook my head again. "He's planning to steal her away from you by earning her affections."

I burst out laughing, almost hysterically. "For real? He thinks he can change her mind? She's not so easily won over, trust me _I_ should know."

Kisame frowned severely at me. "You think this is a joke?" He hissed. "You of all people should know how skillful he is at persuasion. That's the very nature of the Sharingan, to manipulate one's will and movements."

I flinched at his reminder of how he tricked me into joining this organization in the first place. "But he's always crushing on some girl; he'll soon forget about her and find a new favorite."

"Not this time," he said firmly. "He doesn't see her as just another girl to have his way with. He finds her special and unique."

"Well of course she is," I said bluntly. "No one else looks like her."

"True," he admitted. "But it's more than just appearance. She actually had the nerve and strength to fight him off when they first met."

My eyes widened in complete shock. "You mean…she attacked him?"

He nodded gravely. I couldn't even imagine that. Itachi's reputation is so deadly that no one here dares to bother him. I can't believe she actually fought back. She doesn't know how lucky she is that he didn't kill her right then and there. "He admires her strength and spirit, believing her to be his equal. I don't think this is a passing fancy." His expression turned grave. "I'm sure you understand how serious this is. For now he's content to wait for her to grow tired of you. But should he choose to within a matter of seconds you'd be long forgotten and she'd be forever lost to you."

I swallowed nervously and my mouth twitched. This was more serious than I would have imagined. Again Kazuhiko's words burned in my memory. _How is she to defend herself from elite shinobi? She'd be powerless to fight back. _She didn't stand a chance against the likes of Itachi. I can't possibly protect her every second of every day; I was a fool to think I could. But even if I had the courage to send her away, he might still go after her. I felt dread wash over me. What am I going to do? What _should_ I do? "Kisame no Danna…you _have_ to help me," I said pleadingly.

"I will do everything in my power," he assured me. "But I can't go against Itachi. He's my superior; all I can do is work from the shadows. You will have to take charge in this."

I nodded, grateful for whatever help he could offer. "Thank you."

"You're a good kid Deidara-san," He said as he wore a small smile. "And I would do anything to help Rin's daughter."

I couldn't help but notice the familiar way he said her name…and the affectionate gleam in his eye. I cocked my head to the side. "You knew her mother…personally…didn't you?"

He smirked. "Oh yes," he said proudly as he took a seat on a nearby rock. I sensed that he was about to share the story and I eagerly sat down. "I was her personal guard, assigned by her family when she was twelve," he began. "I was only eight then and over the years I saw the best and worst of her, the beauty within and without. She was a sexy little flirt but around me she was very different. She was softer, tender, and strangely vulnerable." His voice trailed off for a moment as he was lost to the memory. "I loved her…and she loved me. But our love was forbidden so we kept it secret for a long time."

"Forbidden? How?" I asked curiously with a frown.

"She was from a noble family and I was the hired help…even being a superior shinobi meant nothing in comparison with royal ancestry. There's no room for a nobody like me. But I was crazy about her, longed for her, and desperate to have her as my wife. So when I was only seventeen I proposed and she accepted. We knew her family would be against it so we determined to elope and leave the city. It wasn't ideal, both of us would have to leave behind our name, the comforts of home, and start anew. But we did just that, determined that our love was enough."

I blinked in surprise. I didn't know his relationship had been this personal.

"Her family sent bounty hunters after us and we were discovered a few days later." His gaze lowered and he sighed forlornly. "I wasn't willing to let her go without a fight but there were just too many of them. I was quickly over-powered and restrained. The last thing I remember is her reaching out towards me as she dragged away. Tears streaming down her face as she screamed out my name." His voice caught in his throat as his eyes grew misty. "I was dragged back to Kirigakure and imprisoned for a few years on charges of kidnap and rape," he said with disgust. "When I was released I was curious what had become of her. I then found out that she was married to Masanori Nadeshiko, a famous artisan and carrying his child. I was completely devastated and heartbroken. But what was there to do about it? I assumed that she had gotten over me so I was determined to leave Kirigakure for good. Somehow she figured out my plans and came to me in the dead of night. She pulled me in for a passionate kiss; her lips as sweet as ever, her arms wrapped around me tightly. She was even more beautiful than I remembered and surprisingly her feelings hadn't changed at all. But her round stomach that pressed against mine reminded me of all the things that now stood between us. As much as I still loved her, I couldn't do this to her husband or their unborn child." He sighed forlornly.

"What did you do?" I asked quietly. I couldn't even imagine this happening to me…though the idea of Natsume carrying my child send delicious shivers down my spine.

"She told me how unhappy she was in her marriage because she only wanted to be with me. She was willing to give it all up just for me. That should have made me happy…but it didn't. I knew Masanori-san; he was a good and honest man. I knew he could make her happy and take good care of her. He could do what I couldn't. So I pulled away and reminded her that she was married. She was in no condition to come with me, we'd only be found again and I didn't relish the idea of going back to prison. So I bowed, kissed the top of her hand, and encouraged her to not throw away her chances of happiness on someone like me. What we had was amazing, but I loved her too much to risk ruining her reputation again. She started to cry as her slender fingers stroked my cheek. Again she asked me to take her along. I had to harden my heart and leave her behind; if I didn't I knew I would have given in to her. Some things weren't meant to be…and I guess we were one of them." He sighed as he ran a trembling hand through his navy hair. "I went rogue and lost all contact with her." He looked at me with his own pleading expression. "Do you know what happened? Why she left?"

"I don't know that much," I confessed. "Masanori-san loved her but had no clue that she was unhappy in their marriage. He did say she was a little hard to please and he went out of his way to do so. But it wasn't enough so she left him; ran off with some employee of his that was already married. Natsume took it really hard, she was only eleven and was very close to her mother. I…I don't think she's ever forgiven her for that."

He nodded numbly. "Yeah that makes sense. I hope that you do everything you can to make her happy though."

I nodded in turn as a pleased smile crept across my face. "I will. She means everything to me."

He looked pleased and stood up. "There's a good man. I must go; Itachi and I have a mission in the morning. In the meantime do what you can to keep her safe."

I nodded and bowed respectfully as he turned to leave. I watched him walk back and I saw him in a whole new light. I had no idea that he was capable of such affection…and yet girls tend to do that, don't they? They have a way of making a man lose his mind and go weak at the knees with nothing more than a tender touch. I turned to go back the city. I thought more about what else he said. _I was crazy about her, longed for her, and desperate to have her as my wife. _Marriage huh? I guess it's a natural thought and yet one that I hadn't considered before now. But why not? It's so obvious that we're meant to be together. I've known for years that she's the only girl for me. And every time we made love, I felt such a deep intimate connection with her that resonated in my soul. She was mine; heart, body, and soul. I won't lose her to anyone else…so…why not propose? What better way to prove my commitment to her? My heart lifted at the thought of her being my wife and I hurried back, eager to be by her side once again.

She had given me a copy of her apartment key earlier so I let myself inside. It was dark and quiet. Had she not come home yet? I went to her room to find her fast asleep on the bed, lying on her back with her hair spread out elegantly beneath her. As I drew closer the moonlight from the window shined through to reveal that she was wearing a sexy silk nightgown, revealing in all the right places. So she had meant to surprise me when I returned, I realized with an ear to ear grin. I climbed into bed and knelt over her. I slowly and tenderly kissed her awake. She giggled softly as she kissed me back. "What took you so long?" She asked as she ran her hand up under my shirt. "I'm been waiting."

"I'm sorry," I apologized with a slight groan. Oh how her touch drives me wild. "Let me make it up to you." I said as I kissed her passionately this time. Her sweet lips tasted even more so and I felt intoxicated by the combination of her taste and gentle touch. Even if we made love non-stop I will _never_ get enough of her. I don't care of that makes me sound like a pervert. It's the truth. The way her body responded in time to mine, her skin soft and silky beneath my fingertips, her breathy voice that catches in her throat whenever I touch her just right…it all confirmed to me what I wanted most. Her in my life, by my side, as my bride, with my name as she carried my child…I _have_ to have her. I pressed my hand against the front of her nightdress as I eagerly started to unlace the ties that secured it. "Oh Natsume, you have to marry me," I groaned passionately.

She stiffened for a moment. "What did you say?" She asked incredulously.

"Marry me," I whispered in the corner of her mouth. "Say that you will."


	31. Chapter 31: The Unexpected Happens Twice

[Natsume's Point of View]

I can't believe he asked me that. Talk about ruining the moment. I kicked him off the bed and he skidded across the floor. He looked simply adorable in his confusion. "What? What's wrong? What did I do, hm?" He blurted out.

"Why would you ask me to marry you?" I frowned at him as I covered myself with a pillow.

He blinked in surprise. "Why wouldn't I? I love you and want to be with you."

"We're already together, how would marriage add anything to that?"

He stood up and considered me thoughtfully for a moment. "I want to marry you Natsume. Is that really so wrong?"

"No, but it's a stupid idea," I said bluntly. He looked crushed and I started back-pedaling a little to soften the blow. Just because I wasn't interested in matrimony didn't mean that I meant to hurt his feelings. "Look I'm just not ready for that kind of thing. Marriage would be terribly stifling and-" My voice died away as I watched tears spill down his cheeks. I was completely surprised. I've never seen him cry before. He stood there with hands curled into trembling fists and his eyes were filled with such devastated pain. Those beautiful blue eyes that used to look at me with such affection were heartbroken. Oh what have I done? I can't lose him! Not now that we're finally together! I reached out a hand towards him. "Deidara I-"

He didn't let me finish but turned on his heel and ran out of the room, letting the door slam behind him. Tears sprang to my eyes as I sat there alone in the dark. I cried into the pillow, gut-wrenching tears of sorrow. Was it all over now? Was this really the end? After all we're been through and overcome…would we really fall out over this? I was heartbroken but also angry. How could he ask that of me? What made him think I wanted to marry him? Yes I love him but marriage? I can't do that. I'm too young to settle down. And kids? No way! But I knew in the pit of my stomach that my true reluctance…had nothing to do with that. I didn't want to end up like Dad. Yes he's married to Chieko and happy with his new life…but that one time…that one terrible time…I'll never forget that. It broke him, shattered him, devastated him, and he was too absorbed in his pain to even notice mine. I needed him and his love and confirmation that it wasn't my fault. I needed to know that I was still worth loving…and he couldn't do that. Instead I had to give up _my_ life, _my_ friends, _my_ close cousins and family…just so he could hide himself away in some foreign city and drown his sorrows with alcohol. I won't do that…I can't leave myself that vulnerable, not even to someone as incredible as Deidara. I love him so very much…but I can't marry him. I just can't.

I lay back on the bed, crying softly into my pillow as my tears started to subside. The bed felt cold and lonely without him by my side. Again I worried that this was the end of us. What should I do? Where would I go? There was no reason to stay here now. I was too tired to think anymore about it. Besides I'm too exhausted and upset to be reasonable right now. So I closed my eyes and fell into a fitful sleep plagued with nightmares.

I was startled awake the next morning by the smell of something delicious. I bolted upright in bed and stared. The light was on in the kitchen and I could hear dishes clinking and cupboards opening and closing, just general noise like someone was in there. My heart dropped into my stomach. Who could it be? It wasn't Itachi, was it? No, he'd be too busy trying to seduce me to bother cooking for me. I quietly slipped out of bed and grabbed a hold of a lamp. It wasn't much of a weapon but it would have to do. I only had to knock the intruder unconscious and kick him out. I should have remembered to lock the door behind Deidara last night but…yeah…that was the _last_ thing on my mind at the time.

I tiptoed silently across the floor and pressed up against the wall. My heart raced as my grip on the lamp tightened. I swallowed nervously and peeked around the corner. Deidara was at the stove making Tamagoyaki. I was so surprised that I dropped the lamp, shattering the light bulb when it hit the floor. He nearly jumped out of his skin as he swore. "What are you trying to do? Give me a heart attack, hm?" He grumbled as he wheezed, pressing a hand against his heart.

I flew towards him and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck. "You came back!" I gushed with relief. "You came back!"

His strong arms held me close as he gently shushed me. "C'mon now, was there any doubt I would?"

I trembled in his arms; so relieved to have him here and that he wasn't going to leave me after all. After last night I had imagined the worst but now his very presence erased those fears completely. I felt weak with relief. He gently rubbed my back as I cried softly. "I didn't think you would," I confessed as my voice cracked. "I was so afraid that-"

He turned my chin so he could kiss me. His lips were warm and firm against mine, sending pleasant tingles throughout my body. "I love you Natsume," he whispered against my lips. "I'll never leave you."

"But last night-" I insisted.

He pulled away with a nervous chuckle and looked a little sheepish. "Yeah…about that…I just needed some time to cool off. You know, to save face and all…"

He always looks SUPER cute whenever he's embarrassed. But a question burned on my lips that I had to ask, even though I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the answer. "Why did you ask me to marry you?" He went even redder but I pressed on. "Please Deidara…I want to know."

The silence stretched on for several tense seconds as we stared at each other. His embarrassment slipped into his usual thoughtfulness. He's very observant, especially when it comes to me it seems. "I can't believe you have to ask." He looked a little exasperated as he approached me again. "Isn't it obvious, hm?"

I blushed and lowered my gaze. It wasn't obvious to me at all but I wasn't stupid enough to admit it aloud. Though my physical discomfort probably revealed how I felt. He gently spun me around and cuddled me from behind, his chin rested on my shoulder. "I love you Natsume. I want to care for you, protect you, and have you forever."

"Nothing lasts forever," I said softly.

"Some things do," he stubbornly insisted. "And we're one of them."

I was both skeptical and exasperated. How can he be so certain? Is this his usual optimism or perhaps intuition? I don't know but I don't believe he can know something like that. I remained silent as he continued on. "I want to marry you and…" I felt his hand slide down to rest low against my abdomen. "To have a family with you."

I bristled at his nerve. How dare he say that? I don't want to have kids! I was about to say as much when I realized just how tender his tone was. He wasn't some male chauvinist demanding that I bare his children. He was talking about a partnership, a family…it was kind of sweet the way he worded it. I kept silent as I tried to process how I felt about this. My feelings were all jumbled up and my stomach grew queasy. I don't know what to make of any of it. It's a good thing that he couldn't see my face right now, he probably wouldn't like what he saw. He sighed. "But I think I was getting ahead of myself last night. After all it took me four years to win you over as my girlfriend. It's bound to take me even longer to convince you to marry me."

"I don't want to get married!" I said as I pulled away and got in his face. "Not to you or anyone else! It's not a matter of convincing me!"

He caught my face in his soft hands and kissed me. My protest died in my throat and I instinctively leaned into him. The kiss was gentle and chaste with a hint of lingering passion, just the kind of kiss that leaves me feeling weak. "Cool it," he chuckled. "You should know by now that I'd never make you do something you don't want to do."

"Not that you haven't tried before," I teased with a grin.

"True," He confessed as he smirked. "You're even more stubborn than I am."

"How are we going to make this work?" I asked worriedly. "I don't want to marry but you do…"

He shrugged. "Don't worry about it." I looked skeptically at him. "You'll change your mind about matrimony one of these days. After all I'm practically perfection itself."

I shook my head in exasperation. "You're _so_ full of yourself, you know that?"

"Hey not everyone has a boyfriend as incredible as me," he teased as he tweaked my nose and turned back to making breakfast.

The reasonable part of me wanted to resolve this matter once and for all but I hesitated. After all what would be the point? Our relationship was still so new, not even two weeks old. Who was I to say that I wouldn't change my mind one day? It seemed very unlikely right now, but then again if someone had told me that I'd fall for this kid I would have laughed in their face. The future is uncertain and always changing. Worrying about what hasn't happened yet would only be a waste of time. So I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and slowly let out the remaining tension. For now I will enjoy the present and what we have. I cuddled him from behind, wrapping my arms around his chest. I watched him finish frying the eggs in multiple layers which make a square shape in the end. It smelled so tantalizingly good. "Mmm," I smiled as I breathed it in. "I had no idea you could cook."

"It's all part of the perfect boyfriend package," he said smug with satisfaction as he removed it from the heat of the stove. "Go on and have a seat, everything else is ready."

I turned around to see a table set for two with even more food. I stared at it open mouthed. How long had he been working on this? Then I remembered something else. "Wait a minute. I didn't buy a table or chairs. And where did you get all this food? I haven't been grocery shopping yet."

"I did it for you," he said as he set the Tamagoyaki on the table and pulled out a chair for me. "So come on, sit down and eat already. Don't let this culinary masterpiece go to waste." I sat down and started to eat. "I'm all yours today," he said when I asked if he had work to do. It was weird to call it work…but what else could I call it? "So what did you have in mind?"

"I have to finish getting things for the apartment," I said as I tapped my chopsticks thoughtfully against my mouth. "I also need to get some new clothes."

"More lingerie too?" He smirked with a wink. "I can hardly wait." What a cheeky little devil.

"Why wait at all?" I asked as I got out of my seat and climbed into his lap. He reddened as I pressed his hand against the loosened ties of my nightgown. "You still have unfinished business with this one." I smirked as I kissed him.

He groaned softly as I deepened the kiss and his fingers trembled on the ties at my breast. In no time at all we were in the bedroom picking up where we left off, making love with ardent passion that binds the soul and reaffirms commitment. He was mine and I was his, two becoming one in unity and love. Wow, it's so corny to say that but he has a way of making me feel sappy and romantic. He makes my pulse race, my hear soar, and my spirit light. I love him so very much. Afterward he remained on top of me and kissed my nose with his fingertips still embedded in my hair. "You're my girl," he whispered softly. How strange of him to say that so often but it also made sense. For so long he watched me waste myself on scumbags. He was probably grateful to have a turn for once…and yet I think he meant something else. He was giving me purpose, security, and reassurance that I was worth loving. His love for me radiated from those sapphire eyes and in that quirky little smile of his.

I pulled him in for one last kiss. "You're my man," I said proudly. "And the only one for me."

"I better be," he teased as he rolled off and snuggled close. He sighed happily and was content to hold me silently. I enjoyed how his fingertips ran along my arm and his lips rested against the side of my neck. How could such an aggressive (and let's be honest: sometimes obnoxious) man be so tender and gentle? Perhaps because he knew he was sensitive but still wanted everyone to think he was strong and fearless. That wasn't the Deidara I knew. He was strong, but he was capable of insecurity too. Aren't we all though? I have a brave face that I put on for the world too. Only here in the warmth of our loving embrace could we truly be ourselves.

I'm not sure how long we laid there cuddling but soon he started to snore. Apparently it had been for too long. I tried to wake him up but he groaned softly and rolled over, taking most of the blankets with him. I tried harder to rouse him but he just burrowed deeper into the blankets and at last I gave up trying. It was already two in the afternoon and I had hoped to finish my shopping today. There was so much to still get: furniture, clothes, shoes, art supplies, etc. At least I didn't have to worry about getting food. So I got dressed and left a note for him on my pillow saying that I'd be out shopping and to not wait for me. I didn't bother to leave a time because I had no idea how long this would take me. I wasn't going to hurry so perhaps it's good I'm doing this alone. After all, guys don't have the stamina for shopping…well Kazuhiko did…but he's an exception. I locked the door behind me and left.

I made the more serious purchases first: a large dresser, a vanity table, a wardrobe closet, a TV, a couch, and other various things. I made arrangements with each store to have the purchases delivered first thing in the morning. Then came time for the fun purchases: clothes and make-up. I loved the idea of getting new clothes and this time clothes that I like. With Kazuhiko I felt a little stifled. His style of dress was so conservative that I felt the pressure to dress the same. Granted I still looked great, even older in those business-like clothes, but it wasn't me at all. Now I'm able to wear my usual style: bold, colorful, and sexy.

As I was looking through a rack of dresses a hand reached over my shoulder, masculine with purple polish on his nails. That was weird. He pulled out a dress made of sky-blue shimmer-silk. "This would look perfect on you."

I nearly jumped out my skin when I recognized the voice. I spun around to face him but lost my balance and fell back against the rack of clothes. Itachi deftly caught me and pulled me towards him, letting the rack crash onto the floor. Those ebony eyes lit up with amusement and I pulled myself out of his grip. "What are you doing here?" I hissed at him, my anger temporarily overcoming my fear.

"I wanted to see you," he said simply with a hint of smile on his lips.

"Well now you have so beat it," I huffed as I turned on my heel to storm away.

"You're not being very grateful," he murmured as he grabbed a hold of my wrist to stop me. His grip was firm but not too tight.

"It's not a matter of gratitude," I said as I glared at him murderously. "Now let me go or I'll rat you out for the criminal you are!" I threatened. "One word from me could have you behind bars for the rest of your life!"

"Oh you would never do that," he purred softly as his eyes turned blood-red. I felt his hypnotic influence start to eat away at my will to the point that I was only dimly aware that he was doing it. I had no strength to resist him as he pulled me into his arms; his mouth hovered over mine just like last time. "By now you ought to know what I'm capable of. I have the power to claim you right here, right now. I can erase every memory you have of that fool in an instant; then all you would know and need is me." His tone was soft as velvet but still filled with authority. He spoke the truth and was not to be trifled with. I swallowed nervously as my breath caught in my throat. I waited for him to over-whelm my conscience and erase every precious memory I have of Deidara. I dreaded the idea of being Itachi's, though odds were I wouldn't be mindful of my heartache for very long. He held me close like that for several tense seconds before he lightly rested his lips against mine, his touch as soft as a rose petal. "But that is not how I would have it."

Then he let go of me as his eyes shifted back to black. I felt his influence over me start to disappear and I gasped audibly as I returned to myself. I took a step back as I rested a hand over my racing heart. He merely stood there with his hands down at his sides. "But why?" I blurted out. "Why wouldn't you when you have the power to?"

"Are you asking me to?" He gently challenged with a smirk.

I shook my head furiously, whipping my long hair from side to side. "No! It's just that…"

"Just because I have the power to does not make it right," he said frankly as he handed me the dress again. This time I hesitantly took it from him. "I am a man of my word. I said I would wait and I will," he said as he led me away with his hand pressed against the small of my back. "I would much rather you gave yourself willingly; that would be far more satisfactory."

"Don't count on it," I said as I flinched away. "Because it's never going to happen."

He didn't seem fazed at all but then again he was probably smug in the knowledge that he could seduce me at any time. But still…I was surprised. I didn't expect him to hold back when he had the opportunity to steal me away. I didn't know what to make of that but it wasn't consistent with my opinion of him.


	32. Chapter 32: Deidara's Explosive Temper

[Deidara's Point of View]

I jolted awake when I realized Natsume wasn't lying beside me. I blinked wearily as I rubbed my tired eyes and yawned so hard that my jaw cracked. I can't believe I fell asleep. But then again I shouldn't be _that_ surprised. I didn't sleep a wink the night before.

When I had left last night, I felt so humiliated. There I was ready to make the ultimate commitment and she had the nerve to call it a stupid idea! I'm beyond embarrassed that I cried in front of her, she probably thought that was super immature of me. So I ran away. I had to get a hold of myself before I did something else stupid. I just couldn't believe that she'd say no. Why wouldn't she want to marry me? At first I worried that I had done something wrong; that I wasn't satisfying enough or good in bed or _something!_ There had to be a reason! So I did a lot of thinking as I walked up one street and down another. The direction mattered little to me. I still couldn't figure out what I'd done wrong. It didn't make sense unless…I stopped in my tracks and stared ahead as it dawned on me. In all likelihood it had nothing to do with me…and everything to do with her parents. The trauma of her mother running away must have been devastating. No wonder she has no faith in marriage. To be married is to be loyal and committed…something her mother was apparently incapable of. Natsume's never told me about her mother, not even now. But Masanori's story now combined with Kisame's painted a picture of a fake life. Surely Natsume has figured that out by now: that her happy family life had been nothing but a charade. I've seen the way she looked at me when my extended family was all together; she'd stand off to the side with a sad smile and wistful eyes. She longed for that kind of familial connection…but had resigned herself to never having one.

I reddened as I also remembered that it had taken me four years to gain her love and trust. I was a fool to think I could propose in less than two weeks. I had been so caught up in the heat of the moment, over-whelmed by her incredible sexiness that I just blurted out the proposal. In fact I practically begged her to marry me…I felt like such an idiot. Is there no end to the humiliation? I stopped and looked over my shoulder and sighed. Well there was nothing to be done about it now. I won't take back my words; I couldn't even if I had wanted to. I still want to marry her, but I know now that I'll have to wait until she's ready.

Still I couldn't go back empty handed. No doubt she's angry with me so I'd better make it up to her somehow. Then I remembered one time when Dad made Mom a special breakfast the morning after an argument they'd had the night before. It was especially memorable because my parents rarely fight. That's why I was surprised to see him cooking for her early the next morning. _I want to give her a better start to the day,_ he explained as he cooked. _An apology is sometimes best served with a warm, savory meal._

But last I knew she didn't have any furniture other than that bed. So I better get some for the kitchen and get some food while I'm at it. It took a while to find a furniture store and grocery store open this late but I managed to. Everything was delivered by sunrise and amazingly she was still asleep, hugging a pillow tightly. I can't believe she slept through it all so naturally I freaked out when that lamp broke. I was happy at her enthusiastic greeting but also felt guilty that she thought I had left for good. Of course she would have assumed that. It's all she's ever known.

And now here I am all alone. Why did she leave and where could she have gone? I noticed the note on the pillow and read it. Shopping huh? Well I better go after her then. Shopping doesn't sound that exciting but any time I get to spend with her is time well spent. I quickly dressed and left. It took awhile to find her; I must admit that tracking is not really my strength. As I approached I stopped dead in my tracks.

She wasn't alone. She was with Itachi.

Her back was to him and the look in her eye was flinty; she seemed determined to ignore him. But he stood close as he gazed at her with hungry eyes and a sly smile. What was he doing here? He reached up to stroke her long hair with a tenderness I've never seen in him before. My momentary panic burned away as my temper blazed out of control. How dare he act so familiar with her! How dare he assume that she's his for the taking! I won't let him!

I charged at him with a battle cry, my hands ready to blow him up on contact. Natsume nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard me but Itachi is never surprised. He calmly turned around and stared at me with that accursed Sharingan. I remained frozen in place as his genjutsu immobilized me. Strangely though my mind was in the present and I wondered why. Itachi usually sends his opponents to some surreal nightmare realm. Then I learned why as he shook his head in exasperation. "Honestly Natsume-san, I don't see why you waste your time with this idiot. If left to himself he would have blown up this store trying to kill me with no regard for anyone else's life."

My blood boiled at the insult but I was powerless to talk back. Natsume panicked since she didn't understand what had happened to me. She yanked hard on me, trying to make me move. But it was all in vain, I was rigid as a statue. Then she whirled around and jabbed a finger into his chest. "Whatever you did to him stop it now!" She snapped angrily.

I can't believe her nerve. This is Itachi Uchiha she's talking to! Does she really have no idea how dangerous he is? He narrowed his eyes shrewdly as he caught hold of her wrist to stop her. "You are in no position to order me around," he warned softly.

A flicker of fear ran across her face. That hurt even more than my wounded pride. _Oh Natsume…I wish you didn't have to face him alone like this, _I thought with regret. I remembered Kakuzu's words with shame: _She doesn't belong here. I cannot guarantee her safety and thus far you have been unable to either. _Why do I keep failing? It's not supposed to be like this!

"I don't care!" she said in a tight tone. I could tell how brave she was trying to sound. "You leave him alone!"

"Make me," he challenged with a mischievous glint to his eyes. Far from being upset, he seemed amused by her anger. It was like Kisame said; _he admires her strength and spirit, believing her to be his equal. _

That did it. With a surge of adrenaline, she managed to shove him back. She narrowed her eyes furiously at him with her voice as cold as ice. "Guys like you make me sick! Your arrogance and your superiority are among the reasons that I could _never_ love you! In fact, I find it hard to describe just how much I _hate_ you!"

His expression was impassive as he processed this. His initial lack of reaction made me wonder if he was just as stunned as I was. Then his brow furrowed slightly. "Are you so determined to think ill of me?" He asked sadly.

"I have no reason to think otherwise," she said as she stuck her chin out stubbornly.

He considered this for a moment and then nodded. The genjutsu was suddenly released and I fell forward since the position I'd been frozen in was off-balance. Natsume caught me and promptly steered me away. I resisted her tight grip on my arm but she whispered in my ear. "Let it go kid, he's not worth it."

I looked over my shoulder to see Itachi watching after us with a frown. I wonder why he didn't put her in her place. No one _ever_ talked like that to him so why did he let her? Once we were a few blocks away she hugged me tightly, trembling ever so slightly. "Oh Dei-Dei," she whispered against my neck. "Don't get yourself killed because of me. I could never forgive myself if that happened!"

I couldn't believe it. She had just faced down Itachi and all she could think about was my safety? I hugged her back. "But I'm supposed to protect you-"

"No you're not," she interrupted as she turned my chin to kiss me. "You're supposed to love me. That's all I need from you."

I gently kissed her back; her sweet lips were soft, full, and tasted divine. "I'm going to protect the one I love so consider it a packaged deal."

She smirked as she rolled her eyes. "Then don't be so obvious about it." She took my hand and we walked away. "Besides, I thought shinobi were supposed to be all about sneak attacks."

"So I lost my head," I grumbled. "But can you blame me?"

She sighed. "Not really."

"What were you doing with him anyway?" I tried not to accuse but I was upset at the idea of them being together.

"I didn't invite him, that's for sure," she said sarcastically. "He just showed up out of the blue and wouldn't leave me alone." Then she suddenly stopped and smacked her forehead as she groaned. "I forgot to buy those clothes too! Gaw! What a waste of an afternoon!"

"Don't worry about it, there's always tomorrow," I reassured her. "Let's grab a bite to eat, what'dya say?"

"I'd rather do delivery instead," she said as she wrapped her arms around me in a side hug and rested her head on my shoulder. "I just want to be with you."

I kissed the top of her head as I wrapped one arm around her shoulders. "I'd prefer that too."

Thankfully the rest of the day was uneventful. I tried to enjoy myself but in the back of my mind I worried about Itachi. Would he retaliate? What can I do to keep her safe in the future? Suddenly she grabbed my face and kissed me. "Only I can distract you," she teased.

"Yes you can," I chuckled as I pulled her onto my lap and kissed her back.

"I know you're worried but you shouldn't be," she gently chided as she lazily wrapped a strand of my hair around her forefinger.

"When it comes to Itachi-san I do," I said softly. "He's dangerous Natsume, you're lucky he didn't kill you."

"I don't want to talk about him," she said firmly. "He's not worth my time." Then she smirked at me seductively. "Do you remember when we first met?"

I nodded with a smirk of my own. "I bet you twenty ryo I can kiss you without using my lips." I whispered against her lips. "That kiss turned my world upside down and you had the gall to act like it was no big deal!"

She giggled. "You just stared at me with a silly look on your face, wide-eyed and bright red. Your innocence was simply adorable."

"I knew then that you were the girl for me," I murmured. Oh those lips drive me crazy. I wasted no time in tasting them again. They were soft, full, and eager as she kissed me back. This time I deepened the kiss and enjoyed how she groaned with pleasure. That's my girl. She arched her back, pressing into me as I ran my fingers along her spine. _Eat your heart out Uchiha_, I thought smugly as I lowered her onto the floor. _This is one girl you'll _never_ get your hands on!_

She wrapped her legs around my waist as her fingers ran along my chest. I slid my hand up the front of her shirt as I kissed her hungrily. I needed her so badly; her soft body, her passionate caress, that amorous golden gaze meant solely for me…

"SENPAI!"

Natsume and I sprang apart, completely embarrassed. Tobi was banging his fist on the window. Three stories up from the ground and he was outside the window…how is he doing that? "Senpai! We have to go!"

I threw the window open. "Your timing is terrible, you know that?" I growled as I straightened my shirt. "What are you talking about anyway, hm?"

"A mission Senpai," He explained. "We have to leave right now."

I frowned. "I wasn't briefed on any new assignments."

"You would have been if you had stayed at the base like you're supposed to," he teased as he poked me in the chest. Then he looked over my shoulder and saluted Natsume. "Sorry Pretty Girl-chan but duty calls!"

She nodded, still speechless with embarrassment.

"Wait for me outside," I instructed Tobi, then closed the window and drew the curtains. I rested my head against the windowpane and groaned. What a pain but Tobi's right, I have a job to do. My loyalty is also to Akatsuki. I turned around and pulled her into my arms. "I wish I didn't have to leave," I said sadly.

"I wish you didn't either," she murmured as she wrapped her arms around my neck. "Will it always be this way? You coming and going all the time?"

I nodded. "I'm afraid so."

She was silent for a time and I wondered if she was beginning to regret my affiliation with Akatsuki. I know that I'm beginning to. It was fun before…but now I just wanted to be with her. She gently kissed me. "Come back in one piece."

I chuckled as I kissed her back. "You know I will. I'll have Kisame keep an eye on you while I'm gone."

She made a face. "I don't need a babysitter. I've lived on my own before."

"I'd feel better knowing you were looked after," I said as I ran my hand through her hair.

"You're worried over nothing," she huffed as she pulled away. "I'll be right here when you get back. Oh and bring me back a souvenir too," she said with a wink.

"I will and I'll be back as soon as I can. Be safe and stay away from Itachi-san."

"Its not like I seek him out," she pouted.

"Just be careful, that's all." I said as I pulled her in for one last lingering kiss. "I love you Natsume…never forget that."

"I love you even more Dei-Dei," she giggled and then playfully shoved me towards the door. "Get going already. The sooner you leave the sooner you'll be back."

I was tempted to look back but that would only make it harder to leave. So I squared my shoulders and left. When I brought her here, I knew this was how it would be. My obligations to Akatsuki keep me on the move, but to leave her behind worried me. Not just because I would miss her, but I was worried about Itachi's intentions. I stopped to write a quick note to Kisame, telling him about my new assignment and asking him to watch over her. Then I created a clay bird to deliver it. Hopefully he'll do his part to keep her safe. When I walked out into the street Tobi looked impatient. "You took too long, Senpai," he whined.

"I'm here now so don't worry about it," I said off-handedly. "What's this new assignment?"

As he led the way he told me the details: it was to be the assassination of some government official. That kind of mission is quick and easy. With any luck we'd back in a week. After he finished he remained silent. That was very strange but I was grateful he didn't tease me about being intimate with her. It was embarrassing enough to be caught to begin with. Then suddenly he spoke. "Pein-sama was upset that you missed the briefing."

_I'll bet he was_, I thought ruefully. I really should have been more careful.

"He's concerned about you and so is Tobi." He was being uncharacteristically serious which is very unusual for him. Normally he'd relish any opportunity to taunt me. "It makes Tobi wonder where your _true_ loyalty lies."

"What kind of question is that?" I frowned at him.

"What kind of answer is that?" He countered back.

"It hardly deserves an answer, hm," I huffed. "I'm part of Akatsuki and will do as Pein-sama dictates."

He grunted unsatisfactorily. "It's just that you seem to be awfully distracted these days…" He trailed off meaningfully.

I knew he was talking about Natsume. "That's none of your business," I said firmly.

"She's just a girl, Senpai," he said as he waved his hand dismissively. "You're getting too attached."

"She's not _just_ a girl, hm!" I snapped at him. "She's _my_ girl!"

"Meaning what?" Tobi asked directly. His childish tone sounded eerie when spoken softly.

I frowned uneasily for a moment. I'm not sure if this is a conversation I want to have with Tobi. Yes we're partners and have developed a unique comradery over the last several months, but I would hardly call him a friend. "She's…important to me." I admitted. "I prefer to leave it at that."

Surprisingly he didn't take the opportunity to tease me again. He remained silent as if he were deep in thought. It's hard to think of Tobi being contemplative but what do I care? I have more pressing concerns. My thoughts lingered on Natsume as I looked over my shoulder. Again a nagging worry ate away at my insides. Will she really be alright on her own?


	33. Chapter 33: The Protector

[Natsume's Point of View]

I stood staring at the door as I tried to wrap my mind around what had just happened. So he was off on some terrible mission. How long will he be gone for? A few days? Weeks? Months? My heart tightened as I realized just how much I'm going to miss him. Then suddenly there was a knock at the door. Who could that be? I opened it to find a young man smartly dressed. He bowed respectfully. "Good evening miss; I've come to deliver your parcels from Kono's Store."

That was the store I had run out of with Deidara. "What do you mean?" I frowned.

He pulled out four large boxes from a cart and set them just inside my apartment. Then he bowed again. "Thank you for your business." And with that, he pushed his cart away down the hall.

I closed the door and looked down at those boxes. This didn't make any sense. Curious, I knelt down and removed the lid off the first one. I stared wide-eyed as I recognized the clothes I had left behind. But how? I didn't pay for these. So who did? There should be a receipt or something, which would have been signed by the purchaser. I went through all the boxes, surprised to find a few other clothes I hadn't picked out. But they were just my style and size, very impressive. In the very last box I found a rose with a note attached.

_Perhaps this gift will lessen your bad opinion of me ~ Itachi Uchiha_

I blinked in astonishment and then shook my head in exasperation. I'll never understand that man. Why is he wasting his time trying to change my mind? I brought the rose to my nose and breathed in its sweet scent. Alright so I'll admit I'm a little flattered; I still hate his guts though. I looked at the clothes thoughtfully for a minute. I'm tempted to throw them out because accepting them might give him the impression that I'm accepting him…and yet…I really like them. I sighed as I rested my hand on one of the boxes. There's no sense in wasting perfectly good clothes right? I turned away to go to bed. The hour was late and tomorrow the rest of the furniture would arrive. Tomorrow I'll be re-arranging my apartment to make it feel more homey. That'll keep me busy and that's a good thing, because otherwise I'd be missing Deidara too much.

I snuggled with his pillow, enjoying his faint scent as I drifted off into a deep, peaceful sleep. First thing in the morning the deliverers were at my door. I spent the better part of the day putting the furniture together. But dinner time I was done and completely starving. Too tired to cook, I just grabbed a snack from the fridge and then went to bed.

I slept in and strangely enough it felt great to wake up to a "regular" apartment. It felt a little more like home. After spending yesterday cooped up inside, I'm determined to get outside today and look up some night clubs. I think it's about time Golden Eye made a comeback. I've missed the stage, the lights, the riotous cheers and applause. I took a quick shower, styled my hair, put on make-up (oh how I've missed that!), got dressed, and sat down to eat a filling breakfast. Then I locked the door behind me and left with a spring in my step. I can't wait to audition; I wonder if any of the clubs here have heard of me before?

The street outside was busy; this city is bigger than any other I've ever been to. I purchased a map from some souvenir shop and sat down on a bench to inspect it. This map was especially handy with color coded labels for entertainment, stores, museums, theatres, so much more. This city really has everything!

"Hey baby, you new here to Nakashima?"

_Oh great_, I thought in exasperation as I lowered my map to find some random guy sitting beside me. His arm rested along the back of the bench as he brazenly checked me out, his gaze especially focused on my cleavage. Real smooth.

He leaned in close. "Let me show you around, you know, give you a more personal tour."

"One that ends in your bedroom I bet," I said dryly as I turned back to my map.

He chuckled as his hand on the bench came to rest on my shoulder. "Or we could start there instead, what'dya say babe?"

I glared at him. "I say if you don't let go of me you're in for a world of pain."

He grinned from ear to ear. What an idiot! Doesn't he recognize a threat when he hears one? "By all means punish me," he purred as his other hand rested high on my thigh. "I like it rough."

I punched him square in the gut and when he doubled over, I kicked him off the bench. He lay groaning on the ground as I walked away. I didn't look back at all; surely now he got the message to leave me alone.

"You sure showed him," Kisame's voice sounded behind me. I jumped in surprise and turned to face him. He folded his arms casually across his chest and grinned, flashing those terrible, pointed teeth at me. But he seemed friendly enough. "I don't think you'll even need my protection."

I grimaced as I remembered that Deidara had asked him to keep an eye on me. "Please don't bother Kisame-san, Deidara's worried over nothing. I don't need looking after."

"No you don't," he agreed. "But there's nothing wrong with me visiting as a friend, is there?"

I remained unconvinced. "That's a fine line. Besides you don't see me as a friend…all you can see is my mother."

His enthusiasm slipped away as his expression sobered. "It's hard to not see the resemblance," he confessed.

"There you have it then," I said as I bowed my head in parting. "Good day Kisame-san."

I walked away and I was surprised when he fell into step beside me. "But you are very different than your mother," he continued on. "She was more carefree than you, free-spirited and light-hearted. I can tell just by looking at you that you've suffered a lot."

I stiffened and looked at him warily. "What has Deidara told you?" Surely he didn't spill my secret!

"Nothing at all," he reassured me. "All I meant is that I don't see you a miniature Rin."

I frowned at him curiously as I processed this. "You say her name with such familiarity…"

He reddened slightly as he looked away. "We were…very close."

Again I felt a little curious about their connection. "How close?" I whispered.

"Are you sure you want to know?" He asked softly.

"No," I confessed. "But I still want to."

"I see," he said with a sigh as he ran his hand through his short navy hair. "Well, I married her before she met your father."

I stopped and stared at him wide-eyed. He looked worried about my reaction but I laughed and rolled my eyes. "Unbelievable. So she's a cheater through and through."

"No, she wasn't," he gently insisted. "We eloped. Her parents disapproved and dissolved the marriage. They arranged for her to marry Masanori-san, in part to save her reputation I think."

I took a step back. "Are you saying that I'm _your_ daughter?"

"Would that really be so bad?" He asked, slightly offended. I didn't know what to say to that but he laughed it off. "No, those golden eyes are characteristic of the Nadeshiko Clan. You're Masanori's daughter all right."

I sighed as I rested a hand over my racing heart. That was good to know at least. Silence stretched between us as we walked on with me still leading the way. What more was there to say? I thought about what he said. This certainly explains why Mom told me so many stories about him. I remember the way her eyes would light up as she animatedly told me of his great adventures. She still loved him even then, didn't she? That made me sick to my stomach. Did she ever resent the fact that I wasn't his daughter instead?

"I don't wish to make things uncomfortable for you," he began apologetically.

"You don't have to apologize," I said firmly. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I hope we can be friends," he said kindly with a gentle smile.

I couldn't help but smile back and nod. Despite his gruff appearance he seemed really nice. "Can I treat you to lunch then?" He offered.

I shook my head as I folded up my map. "No, I had other plans. Perhaps another time though."

He nodded. "Sounds good." He slipped his hand into his pocket, pulled out a scroll, and held it out towards me. "If you ever find yourself in trouble, break the seal. It'll summon me instantly."

"Thank you," I said uneasily. "But I really don't think-"

"Keep it on you at all times," he insisted. "You never know when you might need it."

I nodded as I put it in my pocket. He bowed in farewell and turned to leave. I watched after him curiously. It's weird that he's giving me so much attention. Is it because of my Mother? Or because of his friendship with Deidara? Well it's better to have a friend than an enemy.

I went to four or five nightclubs and was pleased to be recognized at each one. I booked several performances for the next two weeks. I was offered full time work but I like the freedom of working whenever I wished.

The next day I practiced new material. For opening night I chose a sexy scarlet dress. The top was a corset with a mini skirt in front but partly bustled in the back with a long train. The back of the corset was nothing more than strips of fabric, exposing my entire back. My hair was styled elegantly with strands of fake pearls and rubies weaved into it. Under the bright lights, they'd sparkle and shine like the real thing. The nightclub had advertised my up-coming performance and come show time the club was filled to bursting. The crowd went crazy the minute I stepped out on stage. The band accompanying me was fantastic which added even more energy to the show. I loved every minute of it.

But after the glitter and thrill ended, I returned home to a cold and dark apartment. It felt empty without Deidara around. I know this separation is only temporary…but I miss him terribly. I'm lonely without him here by my side. But I won't waste my time pining for what I can't have right now. He'll be back before long and we'll make up for lost time then. So I continued to sing at various nightclubs. On one of my nights off I sat by the window as I worked on some dress designs for an up-coming performance. This one was more unique. It was a duo act, specially requested by one of the nightclub owners. He thought a love duet would get rave reviews.

Suddenly the wind increased, curling my paper at the ends. A few fat raindrops stained my sketchbook and I looked out the window. The sun had just set but dark clouds ominously filled the sky. It started to rain harder and I quickly closed the window. Within the hour it beat against the window, slamming against the glass with torrential force. This was shaping up to be a bad storm.

I left my sketch pad out to dry while I set about making dinner. I'm in the mood for some miso soup, something warm that would stave of the chill in the air. Autumn was well on its way. The silence was beginning to get on my nerves as I sat down to eat. Its times like this that I miss Deidara even more. He's been gone for a week now. How much longer will he be gone for?

I sighed as I finished my soup and walked over to the window. The rain's fury was beginning to slow down. I sat on the windowsill and rested my head against the cool glass as I thought about Deidara. I hope he's alright and still in one piece. It's hard to trust that he will be when he's already lost his arms once. Seriously who loses an arm? And to have them sewn back on? I shuddered involuntarily, that's super creepy. But at least he has arms again so I guess I ought to be grateful.

I looked around in general when I suddenly recognized an Akatsuki cloak. I squinted my eyes to focus on it through the streaked glass. Someone was hiding in the tree. Then I stiffened as I recognized the long ebony hair. It was Itachi Uchiha.

He was probably soaked through. How long has he been sitting there? When he realized I had noticed him, he smirked at me. I groaned and jerked the curtains closed. I was furious. What is he doing there? Is he stalking me? What a moron! I hope he catches a deadly cold, it'd serve him right!

I went to the kitchen to make myself some tea. I always find tea soothing whenever I'm in a bad mood. I added some honey and drank it on the couch. It tasted delicious but I couldn't stop thinking about Itachi. Anger aside I was beginning to worry a little. I don't like the thought of him watching me. He's up to no good, I'm certain of it! Oh how I wish Deidara were here…

I'm not sure if I want to go to sleep. What if he's waiting for me to fall asleep so he can make his move? I quickly turned on the TV to distract myself. If I think about it anymore I'll freak out. So I surfed around a little, starting one program only to switch it to another one ten minutes later. Soon I felt drowsy and my eye lids grew heavy. I lay down the couch and stretched out. I closed my eyes mid-yawn and opened them to find Itachi kneeling over me. He pressed a finger against my lips to keep me from crying out. "I mean you no harm," he reassured me in his deep voice. I trembled from head to toe as he leaned down intent on kissing me.

I pressed a hand against his chest but I was so frightened that the pressure wasn't enough to stop him. "Don't…" I whispered in a shaky voice. "You can't-"

His lips gently tugged on my bottom lip. My breath caught in my throat. This was nothing like when he forced himself on me before. His touch was as light and soft as a butterfly's wing. Such gentleness should have been impossible for someone as evil as him. His lips then moved up to gently caress my upper lip, the pressure just as light. My heart pounded in my ears as he continued to gently taste my mouth. It wasn't a real kiss, more like a sample here and there, but it felt…_incredible. _I instantly felt guilty but I can't deny that I enjoyed it. His touch was so light that I barely felt it and yet it caused my senses to heighten as it naturally craved more. The sexual tension between us was so strong that I almost lost my cool. My heart leaped into my throat as his hand ran along my chest; his fingertips were amazingly delicate and soft. _I hate this man!_ I reminded myself but hatred was the last emotion I felt right now. A groan escaped from my mouth as his tongue outlined my lips. He took advantage of the opening to kiss me deeply. His tongue eagerly explored my mouth as he laid on top of me. My hands twitched uselessly as I was torn between throwing him off and grasping him tightly. Why is it so hard to resist him? I love Deidara; he's my boyfriend and means the world to me. But Itachi's passionate touch left me craving more of it. "Give yourself to me," He whispered, his breath was warm against my neck

"I…I…" I stammered but then I lost my voice as his lips wandered past my collarbone. I arched hard against him as I started to lose myself. His calculated touch made my senses scream for more. I tried to resist but my body started to respond to him. I grasped a hold of his hair, entrenching my fingers deep into those ebony tresses. It was even softer than I imagined it would be. His body deliciously intertwined with mine as he grew more passionate. All thought of resistance disappeared and this time when he kissed my mouth I kissed him back hard.

Then I suddenly jolted awake when I hit the floor. I lay there disoriented and confused as my heart raced. What…just…happened..? Did Itachi and I really…? I sat up and looked around. I was all alone with the TV still playing in the background. I pressed a hand against my aching head as I sighed with immense relief. A dream…it was just a dream…oh thank Kami-sama! But I still felt terribly guilty; it had felt so real. I shook my head to clear my troubled thoughts. It was a nightmare, nothing more. It didn't mean anything.

I rose unsteadily to my feet and turned off the TV. I started to walk out of the room when I passed by the curtains. I hesitated for a moment. Was he still out there? My shaking hands grasped a hold of the curtains. I had to know. He's probably left by now but I'll sleep much better if I know he's gone. I took a deep breath and opened them. I was startled to find him still there, staring up at me. My temper flared as my hands curled into fists. I threw open the window and stuck my head out. "Get lost you stalker before I call the police!"

He shifted his feet and suddenly vanished from sight. What incredible speed! How did he do that? Is he gone for good? _Ha!_ I thought triumphantly as I grinned from ear to ear. _I sure showed him! _"Good riddance!" I said as I closed the window with pleasure. Then I turned around and cried out in surprise to find him standing there. And this time it was the real deal. I pressed up against the window, good thing I closed it first or else I would have tumbled right out of it. My heart leaped to my throat but he held up a mug. I blinked in confusion as he wiggled it a little.

"You…want a drink?" I asked incredulously.

He nodded. "You owe me; after all it's because of you that I had to stand out in the rain. A cup of tea should warm me up, don't you think?

"What do you mean it's my fault?" I asked, raising my voice as my temper returned.

"That stupid kid left you completely defenseless. He doesn't deserve you if he doesn't know that a man is supposed to protect his woman." He was so calm and sure of himself.

I frowned. "So you're saying that you're protecting me?" That seemed weird and out of character for him. He only smiled with his eyes as he gestured with the mug again. I groaned as I took it from his hand. "Fine, one cup and then you have to leave."

I set about boiling some water and tried to ignore him as he watched me work. That dream continued to bother me…I bet my face was pretty red. Though I couldn't help but wonder if his hair really is that soft.

Once the tea was finished, I handed him back the mug. He held it in both hands as he brought it up to his lips. He took sip and smiled. "Very refreshing."

"Whatever just finish it already so you can leave."

"All in good time," he said simply as he turned to sit on the couch. He looked so at ease as he sat back. He's such a mystery to me. This man is a cold-hearted villain; selfish, arrogant, and proud. And yet he claims to be a man of honor and I have to admit that so far he's kept his word. I don't know what to make of him. He was perfectly calm but I could feel incredible energy emanating from him.

"You like what you see, don't you?" He smirked at me.

Wait a minute, when did he lose the robe? He was dressed casually. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. My heart leaped for joy. Deidara's back! And just in time! I turned towards the door.

"Don't!" Itachi said firmly but I ignored him as I reached for the handle. In a split second he caught hold of my wrist. "When I say something I say it for good reason."

I frowned at him but his attention was directed at the door. He remained absolutely still as he narrowed his eyes shrewdly. His serious gaze started to worry me. "Deidara-san is not behind that door." He informed me.

"How do you know that?" I asked in confusion.

"He would have used a key right?"

I nodded slowly. He had a point. The handle jiggled around and it sounded like someone was trying to pick it. That was really weird. Suddenly Itachi threw me over his shoulder and jumped out the window. I screamed as we flew through the air and he landed lightly on his feet. I pounded my fists against his back. "Put me down right now! I mean it I-" I gasped in pain as something grazed my cheek. I pressed a hand against it and found blood on my hand. "What's going on?"

"Keep your head down and shut your mouth," Itachi said firmly. "You'll give away our location."

I frowned at him. But then something whistled past me on the left side, causing me to flinch. Who's throwing things at us? I looked up ahead and stared at the sight. We were being chased by five men dressed entirely in black. A glint of metal flashed through the air towards us. Kunai! They're throwing kunai! They're trying to kill us!

Itachi raced forward; dodging, weaving, twisting, and turning as he raced out of the city into the woods where the base was hidden. Once we were concealed in the forest, he carefully set me down behind some bushes. "Stay out of sight. I'll take care of this."

I crouched down and peered through the leaves to watch the scene. Itachi stood there as all five touched down before him.

"Give us the girl," one of them said gruffly. "We have no problem with you."

"You are about to," Itachi purred as he slipped into attack position. I couldn't believe my eyes. He not only held his own against all five of them, but quickly gained the advantage. His movements were perfection itself as he silently moved with deadly accuracy. In less than a minute they were lying on the ground. Unconscious or dead I couldn't tell and I'm not sure if I wanted to know.

He knelt down and inspected one of them. "Ikeda Assassins. It's worse than we feared."

I stood up and nervously wrung my hands. "What do you mean? What's going on?"

He rose and turned towards me. "Kisame has been vigilant in his watch over you and detected signs that you were being followed." He explained as he approached. "We couldn't figure out who was spying on you which made us suspect a professional. Amateurs are so easy routed. To ensure your safety we took turns keeping watch until they made their move. Only then would we discover who they are and what their real intentions were." We were now toe to toe and he looked down at with such gentle eyes.

"And they want me dead?" I asked in a hushed tone.

He nodded. "The Ikeda Clan is a mercenary one, highly skilled and deadly efficient. They only work for the best at the highest price. Do you know anyone who would want you dead?"

I shook my head. "No! I haven't done anything wrong!" I trembled as I began to panic. Assassins? Someone out there really wants me dead? That doesn't make any sense. What did I do to deserve that? Oh what a time for Deidara to be gone! I wish he were here right now! What's keeping him? I don't know if I can wait any longer. Not if someone's trying to kill me!

Itachi pulled me into his arms and gently shushed me. "It will be alright Natsume-san. I won't let anything happen to you."

I shouldn't have but I hugged him back. I needed reassurance that things would be fine…even if it came from someone like Itachi. He held me tenderly as I trembled in his arms. It didn't feel as good as Deidara's embrace but it was soothing in its own way. For once I felt gratitude for this repulsive man. "You just saved my life…thank you Uchiha-san," I whispered.

"If you're really grateful I would rather you showed it instead…" he chuckled as he gently ran a hand along my side.

All kind feelings for him went up in flames and I angrily shoved him back. "You jerk!" I cursed him. "I should have known! I bet this was your plan from the very beginning! Those men were sent by you, weren't they? This was all staged!"

"No," he shook his head seriously. "Someone_ is_ after you…but I don't know who it is quite yet."

"You're lying!" I snapped.

"Be reasonable," he said in a slightly exasperated tone. "Why would I go to such lengths to impress you?"

Alright so he had me there. He's dangerous enough on his own; he wouldn't need to recruit a team of pretend assassins just to win me over.

"Listen to me Natsume-san," he said seriously. "It's important that you act as if the assassination attempt had not occurred."

"Yeah that should be real simple," I said sarcastically.

"I mean it," he said as he took a step closer. "Whoever is behind this means to work from the shadows. They don't want to be seen as connected to this. That means we have to draw them out."

"By using me as bait?!" I asked incredulously.

"Of course not," his brow furrowed slightly. "Kisame and I will protect you. But if enough assassination attempts fail, it will force them to act directly."

"Like the old saying 'If you want something done right, do it yourself'?"

He nodded. "Precisely. Just be careful from now on. Keep your door and windows locked at all times."

I swallowed nervously as I nodded. I tried to rally my spirits but the unknown frightened me. He reached for my hand. "Come, I'll take you home now."

I cautiously gave him my hand. I don't trust Itachi…but it looks like I'll have to if I want to survive this ordeal. He carried me back in his arms as we moved at that running-shinobi speed. I still don't understand how they can move this fast. He silently stared straight ahead as I gazed at his profile. He looked so young with his features softened in the moonlight. I thought about that picture Sasuke had shown me. He looked so happy then…what changed all that? _I wanted to be just like him when I was a kid_, Sasuke had said. _He was a prodigy, loved and adored by his clan and his village. He was perfection personified._ Itachi looked down at me and I quickly looked away. _What changed him then? What made him snap and destroy everything he had sworn to protect?_ I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Why do I care? I want as little to do with this man as possible.

He slipped in through the window and set me down. Then he tenderly held my face in his hands so I couldn't walk away. "Sleep well tonight…I'll see you in your dreams," he murmured as he gently kissed me. Before I could react he disappeared into the shadows and the curtains rustled in his wake.

"I better not," I scowled as I closed and latched the window.


	34. Chapter 34: Accidental Confession

[Deidara's Point of View]

At midnight I stormed into the Akatsuki base alone, completely furious. Curse that Tobi! He's done some stupid things before but THIS was the worst! He dragged out a mission that should have only taken a week to complete and turned it into a disastrous three week nightmare. He botched every instruction I gave him, accidentally gave away our position countless times, it's a miracle we weren't killed! I got so sick of his pathetic excuses and apologies that I threw a C3 bomb at him. I haven't seen him since then. I'll bet it blasted him to the next country over…it's only a shame that it won't kill him.

At least I'll be able to see Natsume again. I've missed her like crazy and hopefully the feeling has been mutual. But I had to get cleaned up first; I was covered in sweat and dirt from the long journey. I passed Itachi in the corridor but as always I ignored him.

"I must speak with you," he said quietly.

"I have no time for you, hm!" I said shortly and kept walking.

"It's about Natsume-san."

I stopped and slowly turned around. "What about her?" I asked suspiciously.

He gestured for me to follow him and I reluctantly did so. We walked down the hall in silence. Then he opened a door to one of the briefing rooms which are sound-proof so we couldn't be overheard. Kisame was waiting for us and I didn't like the worried look on his face. What's going on around here? Itachi locked the door behind us and gestured for me to take a seat. I remained on my feet. "Out with it already," I said impatiently. "I'm busy."

"Cool it kid," Kisame said abruptly. This surprised me so much that I remained silent.

"Natsume-san has been targeted by some unknown assailant," Itachi said bluntly.

I stared incredulously at both of them. "What are you talking about?"

They looked at each other for a moment. "Someone is trying to kill her," Kisame said softly. "By varying means totaling to five different attempts."

I stared at him open-mouthed. "You're kidding."

Kisame looked exasperated. "Why would I joke about something like that?"

Itachi shook his head sadly. "Truly your stupidity knows no bounds."

Normally an insult like that would have set me off but I was too busy panicking. "How can this be? Is she alright? Is she safe? Where is she now?"

"We've relocated her to your room so we can keep a closer eye on her," Kisame reassured me. "Since then all attacks have ceased, most likely because no one can infiltrate the base."

"Do you know anyone who would want her dead?" Itachi asked.

I shook my head in disbelief. This is impossible. This can't be happening…I sank down in a chair and held my head in my hands. The two were silent as I trembled, feeling nauseous with regret, panic, and worry. Who would want to kill her and why? I was on the edge of hyper-ventilating when Kisame placed a hand on my shoulder. "Take it easy now. We'll get to the bottom of this."

"You've known her for some time correct?" Itachi asked emotionlessly. Curse his methodical mind. I nodded. "Has she ever been targeted before?" I shook my head. "Then the logical conclusion is that your association with her is to blame."

I jumped to my feet. "Are you saying this is _my_ fault?!" I shouted at him.

He didn't even flinch. "Perhaps not intentionally but yes."

"That's harsh Itachi," Kisame scolded gently.

"The truth is often harsh," he countered.

"This isn't my fault, hm!" I snapped at them. "None of this makes any sense!"

"No it doesn't," Kisame sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "Especially since we still haven't figured out who's behind all this."

Itachi furrowed his brow. "Each attempt has been different and perfectly staged. And each attacker claims to be hired from some mysterious source. Now based on your information that nothing of this kind has happened before, there are two plausible theories. One is that someone is trying to keep her from you and the other is that someone is trying to keep you from her. Which sounds more likely?"

I considered this for a moment. I knew that Kazuhiko was very upset that I took her away…but he'd be more likely to kill me instead of her. Then Tobi's words echoed in my mind and all color drained from my face.

"What is it?" Kisame asked.

"Tobi said that Pein-sama was upset that I missed the briefing on this past assignment," I said as I swallowed with difficulty. "Do you think he's behind this?"

Itachi looked skeptical. "Not very likely. His attacks are not the kind that are easily diverted. No, if he wanted her dead she would have been long before now."

Silence filled the room for some time as we all tried to figure it out. But if these two haven't by now I wasn't likely to right now either. Besides they both knew more about each attack than I did. I was exhausted both by the journey and the terrible news so I excused myself and turned to leave. I hesitated at the door. "Thanks…for keeping her safe," I murmured. While I was grateful I didn't like the idea of being indebted to them. I wish that I had been the one to protect her…not them. Curse my job!

"We wouldn't have to if you'd bothered to place safeguards for her before you left," Itachi said simply.

I bristled at this and stormed out of the room, letting the door slam behind me. Oh how I hate the fact that he's stronger than me! I would have loved to have blown him to pieces! I raced down the hallway, pumping my arms as I ran. I had to make sure that she was really ok. I had to see her with my own eyes. I burst into my room and paused at the sight. She was fast asleep in my bed, her body curved beautifully with her hands resting up over her head. She looked like a vision. As I drew closer I noticed her eyelids tremble slightly. Those beautiful soft lips were slightly parted. I leaned down to kiss her. She stirred awake and saw me. "You came back," she murmured as she cradled my face in her delicate hands.

"Was there ever any doubt?" I chuckled as I knelt over her. I savored the taste of her sweet mouth. Oh the memory hadn't done them any justice. I started to kiss her harder as I eagerly pressed a hand against her breast. "Oh how I've missed you," I whispered along her neck. I enjoyed how her body arched against mine.

"Show me," she challenged in a breathless tone as her eye shone with seductive glee. And I did just that. Over the next several minutes I kissed her passionately, caressed her soft body, and made her groan with pleasure. She's my girl and only I can satisfy her. In return she made my body scream with desire. Her touch was expert and thorough. By the end we both panted softly and stared deep into each other's eyes. She kissed me again, her soft lips nibbled on my bottom lip. "You're getting better."

"I'm learning from the best," I teased as I ran my hand through her hair. "Mmm you're incredible and all mine."

She grinned from ear to ear. "You better believe it." I hesitated for a moment as I remembered what the others had just told me. She noticed my change of expression and tilted her head curiously to the side. "What's wrong?"

"Is it true?" I asked fearfully. "Is someone trying to kill you, hm?"

She made a face and groaned. "They told you, didn't they?"

"Of course they told me," I said defensively. "Are you saying that you wouldn't have?"

"I wasn't planning on it no."

I glared at her. "I deserve to know! Especially if it's my fault!"

"I wasn't going to tell you because it _isn't_ your fault," she said firmly. "Look I don't know what's going on any better than you do but this isn't your fault."

"And what if it is?" I asked whispered.

She snuggled close, her body pressed deliciously into mine. Her arm wrapped around my neck as her fingertips caressed the back of my neck, sending an exciting thrill down my spine. I closed my eyes as I sighed with pleasure and felt her lips against mine. "It doesn't matter. We're together again so I don't care about anything else."

I groaned softly as I ran a hand down the length of her back. Her skin felt warm and silky beneath my fingertips. I couldn't stop myself as I kissed her back. I've missed her so much, especially after all the lonely nights without her by my side. She smiled as her hand ran down my chest. "I love you Dei-Dei. I've made a lot of mistakes…but you were never one of them."

"But I can't let you risk your life by staying here."

"You want to send me away?" She asked in mild surprise.

I sighed as I ran my hand through her hair again. "I know that I should…but I can't."

She grinned. "Good because I'm not going anywhere."

"But I'm serious-" I started to protest.

"That's a change of pace for you," she teased with a wink. I frowned and she sighed. "Look I know what you're going to say. You're going to blame yourself; complain about how you weren't here to protect me, and all that other crap."

"It's not crap!" I snapped but she clamped a hand over my mouth.

"I wasn't finished," she said seriously. Then her expression softened sympathetically. "If I've learned anything it's that life is short. And I'm not going to waste it worrying about some mysterious killer."

"Does your life mean nothing to you?" I asked worriedly.

She regarded me thoughtfully with a sweet smile on her lips. "You _are_ my life Dei-Dei and I'll spend it with you for however long I can."

"Then marry me already," I smirked.

She rolled her eyes. "You're not going to give up on that are you?"

"Nope, not until you say yes," I chuckled as I cuddled her. "So give in already."

"Not a chance," she giggled as she tweaked my nose.

"Oh c'mon!" I pouted. "Don't you want to have kids one day?"

"Not really," she admitted.

I blinked in surprise. She looked completely serious. I wonder if it's because she's worried that she'd be as bad as her mother was. Then an idea hit me and I grinned wickedly. "For someone who doesn't want to have kids, you don't mind having sex."

She laughed at my cheeky remark. "Three words kid: birth control pill."

"There's still a chance though," I pressed.

"The odds aren't in your favor."

"Don't be so sure," I whispered as my eye-lids drooped closed. My former exhaustion was beginning to catch up to me again. "I feel like the luckiest man in the world with you in my life."

I was dimly aware that she replied but I fell fast asleep. The next morning I woke up to see her coming out of the bathroom wrapped in towel. She must have just taken a bath. She smiled warmly at me as she sat down to dry her hair with an extra towel. "Morning Sleepy Head."

I sat up and yawned. Looks like it's my turn to finally get cleaned up. I kissed the top of her head as I walked past. She playfully snapped me with her towel and laughed when I jumped. "Smooth reflexes there Master Shinobi," she said sarcastically.

I stuck my tongue out at her. "I'll get you for that, you'll see."

I really looked a fright when I gazed into the mirror. My hair was sticking up like crazy and there were bags under my eyes after all those sleepless nights. I took a long bath and when I came out to get dressed there was a knock at the door. "Who is it?" I asked through the door.

"It's your faithful sidekick Senpai!" Tobi's annoying voice trilled. "It's time to give Pein-sama our mission report."

"Yeah, yeah I'm coming, hm," I grumbled but quickly dressed. Natsume pulled me in for a good-bye kiss. "I'll be in the cafeteria."

"Can't you wait for me?" I asked worriedly.

"Nope, I'm starving. Don't worry about me. Kisame-san and Uchiha-san keep a _very_ close eye on me," she scowled a little and I bet she's given them a hard time about this protection thing.

"They just don't want to face my wrath should anything happen to you," I grinned wickedly as I sneaked in one last kiss.

I opened the door and we both walked out hand in hand. Tobi perked up. "Ah Pretty Girl-chan! Tobi didn't know you were here."

"I'm just visiting," she reassured him. Then she walked down the hallway without looking back. She looked pretty at ease. I wonder how long she's been here. Tobi and I watched after her.

Then he poked me in the side. "Don't get distracted again Senpai."

I nodded and turned to follow him. The meeting with Pein went worse than I thought. He was too forgiving of Tobi's disobedience and gave him a minor lecture on respecting his superiors. "You're part of a team now. And in order for the team to be effective you must prove yourself reliable and dependable."

Tobi bowed his head in shame. "Tobi is very sorry."

Pein nodded and that settled the matter. I was furious! He not only jeopardized the mission several times but nearly got us both killed! And this was his punishment? But there was no talking back to Pein, his word is absolute. So instead I bit my tongue so hard that it bled as I struggled to keep my temper in check. Tobi was excused and I was asked to remain behind. That wasn't good. Pein silently made a few notes in the mission folder and then rose to put it away. "Why were you not here for the briefing?" He purred inquiringly.

Now I was going to hear it. "I was in Nakashima."

"I see," he said softly. "I also understand that you disappeared the day before that as well."

I swallowed nervously. "Yes."

"You are aware that you're expected to remain _in_ the base a majority of the time in case you are needed?"

"Yes Pein-sama," I blurted out.

"And I understand that each time you left you were not alone." He slowly turned towards me, those Rinnegan eyes narrowed shrewdly. "But with that girl."

I nodded as I started to wring my Akatsuki robe in my hand, unseen from under the table.

"The girls provided are for pleasure…_not_ for personal relations." He said sternly.

"But she's not a prostitute!" I objected.

He blinked in surprise. "She isn't?" Oops, I realized too late that I shouldn't have admitted that. But it's too late to take back my words now. His expression grew flinty. "What is she then?" His voice startled to rumble angrily. I don't think he appreciated being tricked into thinking she was one of the girls.

"My girlfriend," I said softly.

"WHAT?!" His voice boomed like thunder. I cringed down in my seat as he towered over me. He just glared down at me silently for several seconds. "You dare jeopardize our organization by bringing an outsider here?" He asked scathingly.

"B-but she d-doesn't know a-anything! I-I swear, hm!" I stammered. I swear that my heart forgot how to beat.

He paused as he decided whether or not to believe me. If he didn't she could be killed over this. Then at last he spoke. "I will be the judge of that. Understand this Deidara-san: your place is here and her's is not. Personal ties to the outside must be severed to maintain professionalism. I trust that you know what to do now." I nodded vigorously. He considered me a moment longer. "Then see to it. You are dismissed."

I jumped to my feet and barely remembered to bow before hurrying out of the room.


	35. Chapter 35: The Unlikely Threat

[Natsume's Point of View]

I was in the middle of eating breakfast when suddenly I was seized upon by two security guards. As they led me away they informed me that I'm accused of espionage. Are they serious? What have I done to make them draw that outrageous conclusion? I did what Itachi and Kisame had instructed; keep a low profile. Apparently it hadn't worked very well. Their grip on my arms was tight and I squirmed uncomfortably. But I wasn't sure if outright resistance was a good idea. It might give credit to their claims so I opted for a more diplomatic approach. "There has to be some mistake. I'm not-"

"Shut it," one of the men said in a tone that commanded silence.

I grudgingly obeyed. Hopefully whoever leveled these charges at me would be more understanding. Surely they weren't just going to kill me…right? I swallowed nervously. Who am I kidding? Of course they could! I can't expect a society of S-Ranked Criminals to be all about fair trials.

Then I was shoved into a room and the door locked behind me. There was a solitary light overhead, shrouding the rest of the room in darkness. In the center stood two men, only one of them I recognized. Tobi stood strangely silent and still. The other was a man with red-orange hair and had an incredible amount of piercings. His expression was impassive as he gestured towards a chair in-between them. "Sit down."

I stood up. "Excuse me, but about these charges-"

He narrowed his eyes at me. "I _said_ sit down."

I felt a tugging sensation in the pit of my stomach as I was suddenly yanked forward. I flew into the chair and gripped it with white knuckles as it rocked back and forth. I can't believe it. What just happened? He rested a hand on the back of the chair and bent down to whisper in my ear. "I don't want to hear your excuses. What I am interested in…is inside your head." I flinched as his hand rested on top of my head, his fingertips squeezed tightly. "The truth will either free you or kill you. But either way, you will _never_ see Deidara-san again."

That startled me so much that I gasped audibly. What did Deidara have to do with any of this? I started to tremble as he withdrew his hand. "Proceed Tobi," he said authoritatively.

Tobi stood before me and lifted my chin up. "Relax Pretty Girl-chan," he said comfortingly. "This won't hurt a bit."

I was frightened but soon found my terror slipping away. I felt light-headed as I fell into some kind of trance. It was just like the time Itachi nearly over-whelmed my consciousness. Does Tobi also possess the Sharingan? He probed my memories especially all the secret moments I spent with Deidara. I wonder why Akatsuki is so interested in those memories. Despite the trance, my temper started to flare up. I don't like this intrusion on my privacy! They're _my_ memories! _My_ private thoughts! What gives them the right to invade it? It reminded me of what Itachi said once, just because they have the power to doesn't make it right. But I was powerless to stop him as he flipped through my memories as easily as one does pages in a book. I felt so violated. Curse them! Then I felt the power start to wane as my mind returned to the present. Tobi let go and looked at his superior. "No Pein-sama, she doesn't know anything about Akatsuki."

I leaned back in the chair and pressed a hand against my aching head. The repercussion of that Sharingan always left me feeling sick.

"Good," Pein said satisfactorily. "Escort her out then." He said as he walked out of the room.

Tobi offered me his hand. "Sorry about that Pretty Girl-chan. Just standard procedure, that's all." I took his hand and he pulled me to my feet. "Tobi will take you home now okey-dokey?"

"I have to talk to Deidara first."

He slowly shook his head. "Pein-sama would not like that."

I don't care what Pein would like, but I could hardly say that aloud. What worries me is being forcibly separated from Deidara. "But this is important-"

"It's just best that you forget about him," he said as he led me towards the door and opened it. "After all Senpai is part of Akatsuki now. He doesn't need distractions."

I hated the implication that I was considered a distraction but there was nothing to be done about it. I'll have to find another way to get in touch with Deidara so he could know what happened. Tobi kept hold of my hand as we walked down the corridor towards the entrance, his grip was firm. I was half-hoping we'd run into Deidara along the way. Surely then I could explain if we were face to face. But he was no where to be seen and I felt a deep sense of dread wash over me. This was too sudden and it's obvious that we're being separated on purpose. I resisted as we crossed the threshold to the outside. "Wait!" I protested. "I have to talk to him!"

"Hey check this out!" Tobi said excitedly as he pulled me into his arms. "Ninja Art: Flying Style!"

He went from standard shinobi running speed to super sonic. I felt like my stomach had been left behind at the base. I screamed as I held onto him tightly. He just laughed. "Isn't this fun?"

"No!" I screamed. "Stop it!"

"Ok," he said cheerfully as we suddenly did.

Feeling dizzy, I leaned on his arm as I tried to regain my balance. Then I realized that we were inside my apartment. How can that be? We left the base only five or six seconds ago!

"Pretty Girl-chan didn't like Tobi's new jutsu?" He asked disappointedly.

"Not really no," I said as I sank onto the couch.

"Let Tobi get you a drink," he offered kindly. "The kitchen is over there right?" He guessed and I nodded.

He left and I rested back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling. I frowned. What's going on around here? There was no problem with me staying at the base before. What changed all of that? Why are they trying to keep Deidara and me apart? Distractions…how am I distracting? So many thoughts ran through my mind: confusion, worry, and heartbreak. Was this meant to be our end? Was Akatsuki going to force us apart?

"Here," Tobi held out a glass.

"Thanks," I said as I sat up and took it from him. He sat beside me with a glass of his own.

"Are you alright?" He asked with concern.

I sighed as I looked at him sadly. I like Tobi, he's funny and makes me laugh, but I'm not sure if I want to confide in him. Not about something like this. I lowered my gaze and shook my head.

"What's wrong?" He pressed. "You can tell Tobi. He can keep a secret."

"Don't worry about it." I said as I took a sip of strawberry juice. I enjoyed the taste and smiled. "Ah that really hits the spot."

"Then let's have a toast," he offered as he held up his cup. "To Senpai."

"To Deidara," I said as I clinked my glass against his. We both finished our glasses and set them aside.

He rested back with his hands behind his head and whistled. "Tobi likes this apartment. It's so homey and roomy besides!"

I cracked a side smile. "Yeah it is. I really like it."

"Tobi can see why," he said happily. "Its so much better than those tiny closets of a bedroom back at the base."

I winced as I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my head but it left as quickly as it came. I blinked in confusion. What was that? Tobi didn't notice and continued talking about nonsense. Then the pain returned, even stronger this time. I hissed and pressed a hand against my forehead.

"Is Pretty Girl-chan feeling alright?" Tobi asked as he rested a hand on my shoulder.

"I-I'm fine," I said but my head started to pound so hard that I started seeing stars before my eyes.

"You sure?" He asked worriedly.

I nodded and forced myself to stand up. "It's only a headache. I just need an aspirin that's all."

As I walked the pain…the pain was so intense. What's wrong with me? I closed my eyes as I struggled to catch my breath. I trembled all over as I found no relief. What is going on? This is more than just a migraine. Something is wrong…I felt terribly weak and my legs wobbled unsteadily. I reached out to lean against a side table to regain my balance. But my coordination was even worse than usual and I accidentally knocked over a glass vase full of flowers as I collapsed. It shattered as I hit the floor hard, racking my entire body with excoriating pain. "Tobi!" I choked out. "Help me!"

The room was filled with ominous silence.

"No Natsume-san," a deep voice chuckled. "You'll get no help from me."

"W-what?" I asked in surprise as I looked over my shoulder. Tobi sat casually on the couch, perfectly at ease.

"You've interfered long enough," he said. The voice was deeper and full of scorn. So that is what his voice really sounds like? "I'll see that it ends here."

I groaned as my head dropped down again. I was too exhausted to support it any longer. I'm rapidly losing energy and feeling out of breath. "So it was you…the…the assassin..."

"Correct," he said smugly. "I don't know how you avoided all those other attempts but fell for the old poisoned glass trick. But I guess Tobi does have a way of making people lower their guard."

I frowned at that. "That's not…your real name?"

"It's one of them," he admitted. "But my real name is of no significance so don't concern yourself with that."

My heart ached painfully as it beat erratically. "But why? Why would you…want to kill me?"

"It's simple," he said as he stood up and approached me. His shadow fell over me as he towered above me. "You're in my way."

"How?" I asked in surprise.

"You're interfering with Deidara-san's progress. He won't achieve his true potential if you're around distracting him with your feminine ways."

I coughed, racking my entire body with pain. "You're just…using him?" I asked contemptuously as I glared at him.

"I _created_ him," he said proudly.

Then I remembered what Deidara said about Uchida, Ryo's advisor. The man who forced him to open the scroll, making the kinjutsu activate. So this was the man who had been pulling the strings…even now. I doubt that Deidara recognized this man for who he was. His mask and childish mannerism cleverly disguised that. "You jerk!" I growled but coughed again, this time blood trickled from the corners of my mouth. The poison's effect was getting worse. How much longer do I have?

He crouched down and patted my head patronizingly. "There, there, don't worry. I'll take good care of him. Toodles!" He finished in Tobi's sing-song voice as he stood up to leave.

My hands curled into fists. I can't let him go! I won't let him manipulate and corrupt Deidara! My shaking hand grabbed a shard of glass from the broken vase. I lashed out and stabbed him in the ankle. It didn't go through him like Deidara's attacks generally do. It pierced his skin and grated against the bone. He didn't cry out in pain though but stiffened in surprise.

My hand slipped away as I gasped for air. It's getting harder to breathe now. "I…I w-won't let you…hurt him…"

He turned and kicked me hard. I flew back into the couch and my head reeled as my vision spin. He straddled my waist as he held me down. "Deidara-san isn't the person you should be worried about right now," he purred threateningly.

"I'm…n-not dead yet!" I struggled underneath him. He grunted as he had a hard time keeping me under control. My movements were becoming erratic, more muscle spasms than planned attacks on my part. But I won't let it end like this! Surely Itachi and Kisame will come to my rescue like they always have in the past. I just had to buy them time. I had to survive until then!

"Your resistance is impressive given the amount of poison I gave you," he conceded. "But I have no time for you; you've wasted enough of it." His hands closed around my throat. I tried to pry his fingers off my neck with trembling fingers but I was growing weaker with every passing second. "I have the power of life and death over you," he said with sadistic pride. "I can do with you whatever I please."

I spat in his face. "Then do your worst! I'm not afraid of you!"

"I can fix that!" He said as he squeezed tighter. I gasped and coughed as I struggled to breathe. My fists beat against his chest but he just pressed me further into the couch. My chest heaved as my lungs burned, desperate for any trickle of air. The pressure he exerted threatened to snap my neck in two. My vision blurred as my racing heart pounded in my ears. I'm going to die. I'm really going to die here; either by strangulation or by the poison he gave me. This isn't how I envisioned my death would be. Not that I've ever thought about it before now.

Just as I was on the verge of passing out, he suddenly let go. I felt light-headed, my throat raw as I took in great lungfuls of air. I lay still, savoring the delicious taste of air once again. But the pain inside increased as the poison flowed freely through my veins, spreading its destruction throughout my entire body. He chuckled in amusement as his hands slid up to tenderly cup my face. "You forget that I've seen inside your mind…I know what it is that you fear most of all…" His hand came to rest on my breast. "Rape."

My breath caught in my throat as my eyes widened in horror. He knew my secret! Of course he would, he was aware of everything that happened between Deidara and I.

"The humiliation and shame of being forced upon by a man bigger and stronger than you. To be subservient to his passion as he takes away that virtue which is most precious." His fingers slipped down my collar as he ran his hand over my breasts. "You are beautiful…though not really my type. But then again you don't have to be. You're just a woman…equipped with everything that can satisfy a man…"

"Don't!" I pleaded as I tried to push him back. "Please don't!"

"That's not for you to decide," he said firmly as he grabbed me by the chin. "Like I said before, I'll do whatever I please with you."

My limbs started to seize up and within a matter of seconds I couldn't move at all. My hands fell limply by my sides. My vision blurred again as I felt my heartbeat start to slow…each beat grew fainter and fainter. This was truly the end…and still no rescue in sight. It doesn't matter anymore. It's too late for me to be saved now.

He chuckled with sadistic pleasure as he too realized that my end was near. "Finally!" He said triumphantly. My eyelids grew too heavy to keep open and my head felt fuzzy, numb to the pain that seized my body. I felt his lips against my mouth. "Goodbye Natsume-san," He whispered eerily. "And good riddance."


	36. Chapter 36: Soraku

[Natsume's Point of View]

The first thing I was aware of was warmth. And with that came other sensations: a comforting touch, the soft mattress beneath me, the blanket draped over me, the gentle sound of breathing tickling my ear. How did I get to this point? Am I alive? Dead? I took a deep breath and slowly let it out. I can sort out the details later. Right now I enjoyed the tranquility of the moment. I reached out and my hand rested against a man's chest. A hand carefully raised it to his lips, the pressure light and soft.

I smiled to myself, eyes still closed. Deidara! So he had saved me after all! I wish I could have seen him kick Tobi's butt. I should never have doubted, of course my hero would save me. The girl is always saved by her prince, that's how it goes in the story. I snuggled closer and his arms wrapped around me tenderly. In the stillness of the room, his closeness comforted me. I felt safe in his arms, the terror of the past faded in his intimate embrace. I have nothing to fear as long as he held me close. He didn't say anything but we didn't need words to feel connected as our hearts beat as one. I was content to lie in his arms as I kept resting. I didn't want to wake up yet and ruin the beauty of the moment. I felt achy and sore but nothing as intense as before. No doubt it was the result of the poisons toll on my body.

He moaned softly as he embedded his fingers in my long hair and kissed my forehead. I smiled as he kissed down my slender nose and then my lips. I kissed him back and wrapped my leg around his hip. He ran his hand down the length of my thigh, his fingertips gently dug in as he kissed me harder. It was more passionate and eager than usual but I wasn't going to complain. "Oh Dei-Dei," I groaned as I pressed into him, enjoying the heat his body gave off. "I thought I had lost you forever."

He stopped for a moment and stiffened. That was weird. Why would he suddenly hold back? I opened my eyes to see soft ebony eyes staring back at me, framed by long black bangs.

It wasn't Deidara. It was Itachi.

I screamed as I pulled away. He grabbed a hold of me before I could fall off the bed. His grip was firm but not painful. I struggled against him. His grip never loosened and I panicked. "Let go of me you pervert!" Suddenly a splitting pain exploded behind my eyes as my vision blurred and my head reeled. I collapsed back against the pillows and gasped for air. The pain returned…such excruciating pain…

He gently brushed my hair out of my face as he gently murmured. "Lay still or the poison will spread again."

He was right, my body started to tremble. The effect of the terrible poison was not forgotten. My head throbbed as my heart raced and I broke into a sweat. _What a mess_, I thought wryly to myself. _But at least I'm still alive._ Itachi gently rubbed my arm. His touch was so tender, not at all what I expected from someone as cold as him. It was even soothing in its own way but it wasn't whose touch I longed for. "Where's Deidara?" I asked.

He frowned. "You shouldn't concern yourself with him." He said with a hint of anger in his tone. It was very uncharacteristic of him.

I frowned back. "He's my _boyfriend_ remember?"

"And the reason you were nearly killed," he said firmly.

This startled me. "What are you talking about?" I asked in a hushed tone.

"He confessed to our Leader that you were his girlfriend. We're not allowed to have personal attachments, _especially_ those of a romantic kind."

"But the prostitutes-" I started to protest.

"Only meant to be a momentary pleasure," he said indifferently.

I glared at him. How dare he dismiss them so easily! "Is that what I am to you too?"

He paused at this and his eyes softened. "No Natsume-san." His fingers gently touched my lips and drifted down the length of my neck.

I flinched away, determined to stay angry at him. I didn't want to dwell on how good it felt. "So how is this Deidara's fault?" I reminded him.

He propped himself up on one elbow. "He tells the Leader the truth and then you mysteriously vanish just moments later. What other conclusion is left to draw than to blame Deidara-san?" He asked sarcastically.

"But he didn't mean for it to happen," I tried to defend him. Yes Deidara has a big mouth; I'd be the first to admit it. But I don't think he meant for things to turn out this way. "You shouldn't blame him."

His brow furrowed slightly. "I don't blame him entirely. I bear some of it as well."

"You?" I asked in surprise. This man doesn't make any sense. "How?"

"I lowered my guard because I foolishly thought he could protect you. I never should have assumed that," he said as he rested a hand on my side. "I went in search of you as soon as Deidara-san went looking for you. By the time I found you, you were hovering on the edge of life and death."

"_You_ saved me?" I asked in surprise. I didn't mean to sound ungrateful but I was disappointed that it wasn't Deidara who saved me. He nodded; his dark ebony eyes softened like velvet. He was very handsome the way his dark hair hung about his face and down his back. _Just my type_, I thought with a slight smirk. _Or rather the type I used to prefer. But guys like Itachi are a dime a dozen, each one just like the last._

"What happened to you?" He asked with a furrowed brow.

I lowered my gaze. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Yes I would," he murmured as he tenderly stroked my cheek.

I still hesitated but he looked sincere and concerned. "It was Tobi," I said as my voice caught in my throat. The memory of his cruelty still jarred me. I never imagined someone so happy-go-lucky could be so sadistic. "He tried to kill me. He was the mastermind behind the whole assassination plot." His eyes widened in surprise. My face fell as I pulled away. "I knew that you wouldn't believe me," I whined.

"No, it's not that," he quickly reassured me. "It's just that…I never expected he would reveal that side of himself to you. For him to take such action…is very unusual."

I frowned. "What do you mean? You know he's really like that?"

"Yes I am aware of who he really is. But what you did to provoke his wrath is still uncertain."

I told him that he was the one who forced the kinjutsu on Deidara and how he's been using him since then. I just blurted it all out. I'm not sure if I should be telling Itachi any of this but I had to tell someone. I couldn't keep this to myself. Itachi listened intently without interruption and then nodded in the end. "I see." Was all he said.

How could that be all he can say? Especially at a time like this? He was so calm and composed. My heart ached as I longed for Deidara. Yes sometimes he can be a bit much, but at least he showed what he felt and said what was on his mind. As grateful as I am to be alive, Itachi wasn't who I wanted to wake up to. Then it dawned on me as I realized that I'm lying here in Itachi's bed…I looked at him worriedly. "Why am I in your bed? Unless…" my voice trailed off as my voice caught in my throat and my eye widened. "You've taken advantage of me haven't you?"

He smirked and twirled a strand of my long blonde hair around his forefinger. "If we'd made love, you would have remembered."

"Not if you'd used a genjutsu. It'd be over and done before I even knew what hit me." I persisted as my heart raced. _Oh please tell me he didn't!_ I pleaded internally.

He looked a little exasperated. "Where's the thrill in that? Besides you deserve better than that."

I hesitated for a moment. His face softened as he looked at me. It was almost as if…he really cared about me. But I quickly dismissed the thought. That was impossible. He was a cold-blooded killer who cared only for himself. Thugs like him don't know how to love.

"Nothing happened," he assured me and then he flashed me a perfectly wicked grin. "Not until you want something to."

I glared at him fiercely. "That's never going to happen and you know it!"

He considered me for a moment. Then he lifted my chin to kiss under it and along my neck. It felt so good that I couldn't help but sigh with pleasure. His delicate touch set my senses on fire. It was every bit as intoxicating as it was in my dreams. Curse him! "You say that but you don't mean it," he whispered against my collarbone. "You continue to refuse me despite the fact that you're drawn to me." His caress combined with his traveling lips against my soft skin nearly over-whelmed me. I grabbed hold of the front of his shirt, on the edge of pulling him closer or pushing him back. "Give in to me…you know you want to…"

I pushed him back. Yes his touch was tempting, but that's all I would get. I wouldn't have his heart and he wouldn't have mine. Physical intimacy means nothing to me without that. I'm tired of empty sex which always feels euphoric at the time only to be empty and meaningless at the end. "Because I don't love you," I said firmly.

"You don't give me a chance," he pouted slightly.

"I don't have to!" I snapped. "Now get out of my bed!"

"It's mine remember?"

"Fine, I'll get out then," I grumbled as I struggled to sit up but soon exhausted myself and fell onto my back. My vision spun and I pressed a hand against my aching forehead.

"Like I said," he said as he sat up. "No sudden moves. Nekobaa has stabilized your condition for now but any sudden upset could be dangerous. You need to relax."

"And you really think I can with you this close?" I grumbled.

"No perhaps not," he said ruefully with a sigh. He climbed out of bed and tenderly tucked me in. "Try to get some rest. You're safe here Natsume-san." He said as he kissed my forehead. "You have nothing to fear from me."

I snorted in derision but was too tired to argue any further. He closed the door behind him and I fell asleep shortly after. I was later awakened by the sensation of a cool cloth lightly pressed against on my forehead. My eyelashes fluttered open to see an old woman sitting by my bedside. She was hunched over with wild graying hair sticking out all over her head. Her face was pleasantly round, her nose darkened, and her eyes so squinty I thought they were closed. Was she wearing car ears? It's hard to tell in the darkness. She smiled kindly down at me. "Ah so you're awake. Try not to move, you're not through the worst of it yet."

"Where am I?" I asked quietly. It was dark now except for a flickering candle on a nearby night stand.

"Sora-ku," She said as she dipped the cloth into water and carefully wrung it out. "You're lucky Itachi brought you here when he did. Your condition was horrific, almost beyond the point of redemption."

I grimaced. "Is he still here?"

She looked surprised. "Why do you make that face? Is he not your boyfriend?"

I chuckled grimly. "Far from it."

"Interesting," she murmured thoughtfully. "He thinks very highly of you."

Did he really? That surprised me but it didn't change the fact that he's nothing more than a shameless womanizer. I didn't really feel like talking anymore so I kept quiet and closed my eyes. I had nearly fallen back asleep when I heard footsteps enter the room.

"How is she?" Itachi's deep voice whispered by the old woman's side.

"Still in critical condition but I believe she'll pull through," she reassured him.

"That's good," he said in a tone that sounded relieved. He gently rested his hand on mine and I nearly pulled away. Instead I held still, wondering what else they'd say while they thought I was sleeping.

I heard the woman chuckle in amusement. "It's obvious that you care for her but she doesn't seem to like you at all."

He chuckled back, his merriment surprised me. "Not presently no."

"I must say I'm surprised," she went on as she continued to dab me with the cloth. "Most girls fall head over heels for you. She must be the only girl immune to your charm."

"So it would seem," he sounded just as amused as she was. Who was this Itachi? He sounded nothing like the arrogant man I knew. "But I hope that will change one day."

"I hope so, for your sake," she said encouragingly. "After all the pain and sadness you've suffered for your village's sake, you deserve the very best."

That so greatly surprised me that I coughed. And once I started I couldn't stop. I curled up on my side as it grew worse. It was a terrible rattling cough that racked my chest with such agony. I struggled to catch my breath but it only tickled my throat more, making me cough even harder. I coughed to the point that I couldn't breathe at all. Itachi caught hold of my shoulders and activated his blood-red sharingan. Through his hypnotic gaze my cough began to subside at last. I lay limp against the pillows as my chest heaved up and down. I closed my eyes as he released me from his spell. "I wish Deidara was here," I mumbled miserably.

"I know," he said softly as he let go. "Now try to rest and your body will heal itself in time." I trembled as I started to cry. I'm terrified of feeling so weak and left in Itachi's care. I don't want his help. I don't need it. I need Deidara! Itachi tenderly wiped my tears away with his fingertips. It only made me miss Deidara more. "You have nothing to fear from me," Itachi repeated.

I slowly shook my head. "Go away." I whispered.

He was quiet for a moment. "If that is what you wish."

The old woman sighed as the door closed behind him. "You ungrateful kitten," she scolded. "Why'd you do that? He's only trying to help you."

"I have my reasons to not like him," I said flatly as I turned my head to look at her.

"I don't care what your reasons are," she scolded. "You don't know anything about that boy. If you did you'd treat him with more respect."

I didn't know what to say to that and I fidgeted a little. "I'm sorry," I said. Not because I want to give Itachi a second chance but because I didn't mean to offend her. After all she's the one over-seeing my care. It didn't seem wise to upset her.

Her expression softened kindly. "Just keep an open mind dear. Things are not always what they appear, especially when it comes to Itachi Uchiha."

I still didn't really care but I nodded anyway. She finished cooling my forehead, gave me some medicine to drink, and left me for the night. I carefully rolled onto my side and hugged the pillow close. I wish Deidara was here…I sighed as I nuzzled my face against the downy soft pillow. It smelled like Itachi…which didn't make me feel any better. As I drifted off to sleep I recalled my last night with Deidara, especially the last words he said as he held me close. _I feel like the luckiest man in the world with you in my life. _He said that even though he knew the truth about my past and put up with my jerky boyfriends…sort of. He did have a hard time keeping his mouth shut about that. But I can hardly blame him, he knew that I deserved better than that. He was my best friend and now my lover, the change happened so gradually and naturally. I've changed a lot over the years and he has too. But one thing has never changed; his love, respect, and adoration of me. Perhaps in his eyes we were meant to be and now I'm inclined to agree. But what will happen to us now? How will we ever have a future as long as he's a part of Akatsuki?


	37. Chapter 37:Deidara's Breakdown

[Deidara's Point of View]

_Stupid alcohol isn't doing its job_, I thought groggily as I pushed my fourth glass aside. I rested my head on the table and groaned as I pressed a hand against my stomach. Great. Just great. Not only do I remember everything still…but now I feel nauseous besides. All around me the bar was boisterous and merry but here in a little table in the corner I felt the worst I've ever felt. Even the pain of leaving Iwagakure didn't compare to this. My hands curled into fists as once again I cursed myself. Why did I admit that Natsume was an outsider? WHY? If only I hadn't been so defensive of her honor and just kept my big mouth shut. Then she'd still be here with me.

Memories of the past haunted me even in my drunken state. When I had left Pein's office, I went immediately to the cafeteria. She wasn't there but Itachi and Kisame were. I quickly asked them if they'd seen her. They hadn't and naturally wondered why I asked. I confessed to them what had happened. Kisame looked exasperated at my idiocy but Itachi was furious. He didn't say a word but left with a face like thunder. Kisame offered to help me look. I checked my room, my studio, and throughout the base. She wasn't anywhere and the longer I looked the more I worried. Once I knew she wasn't in the base, I stepped outside to go into the city. Perhaps she had gone back to her apartment. Pein called me back. "Leaving so soon Deidara-san?" He asked serenely. "For what reason?"

"I'm looking for my girlfriend," I explained after a quick bow. "So I can say goodbye." That wasn't entirely true but he didn't need to know that.

"Don't concern yourself with that," he said as he waved his hand dismissively. "She has already been dealt with."

My heart dropped into my stomach as I stared at him. No…that can't be…what have they done to her? My mouth opened and closed uselessly.

"Besides you're needed here," he said. "Kakuzu-san needs your expense report and I believe you're due for an inventory assessment as well." For several seconds I remained rooted in place. I can't bother with minuscule work details when Natsume's missing! He narrowed his eyes keenly. "Forget about the girl and get to work," his deep voice said firmly.

I can't go against him; his word is law. I nodded curtly and with my hands curled into tight fists, I marched back into the base. I did everything that was asked of me, playing the part of an obedient member but inside I was seething. I'm just wasting time here when she's out there somewhere! Is she alive or dead? I worried all day about it and the guilt and anger continued to consume me. Finally I had a moment to myself late at night and snuck out. Her window was open and I snuck inside. It was empty but there were signs of a struggle: a broken vase on the ground and the couch had marks and scratches in the fabric. I fell to my knees in shock. What happened to her? Where is she? Is she alright? And more importantly how will I ever find her? It was like she simply vanished.

Just then Tobi came in through the window. "There you are Senpai!" He said cheerfully. "Tobi has been looking for you everywhere." He hesitated when he looked around. "Where's Pretty Girl-chan?"

I wearily stood up and shook my head mutely. I didn't want to talk about it. Not to someone as annoying as him. I walked past him and left through the window. Thankfully he didn't follow after me. I went back to the base to ask Kisame if he'd had any better luck. He shook his head sadly. "I'm afraid not Deidara-san. But Itachi hasn't come back yet, he might have had better success. I'll let you know when he returns."

"I don't care about his whereabouts, hm!" I scowled. "I'm worried about Natsume! I have to find her!"

I turned to leave but he clapped a firm hand on my shoulder. "Now hold on. Leave this to Itachi and I. We're seen as unconnected to her and are in a better position to search for her discreetly."

"It's not your place," I protested.

He frowned. "And it's not supposed to be yours either. That's how you screwed this up to begin with." I flinched and looked away. His tone softened. "Don't assume the worst until you have proof of it. Acting like this will only get you in further trouble so keep your head down and your mouth shut."

I sighed and nodded. He was right and I hated that. I left and went to my room for the night. The next day Pein kept me busy with new tasks. I get the feeling that he's keeping a close eye on me, curious if I'll slip up again. Tobi wasn't helping with his questions about Natsume. "Oh c'mon Senpai," he whined. "Did Pretty Girl-chan dump you or something?"

"No she didn't," I said tersely.

"Then where is she?" He persisted.

"I DON'T KNOW, HM!" I shouted in his face. "Now get lost before I blow your face off!"

He cringed and cowered. "Senpai is so scary when he's angry!"

I rolled my eyes and walked away. Now here am I trying to distract myself from my heartache. I'm not really a drinker but this time I'd hoped to forget about everything…get some rest from the terrible thoughts that plagued me. But no such luck, I still remembered everything. I remembered her merry laugh, her mischievous smirk, the way her eye would light up whenever she saw me…and above all I remembered how much she loved me. _I love you Dei-Dei_, she had said. _I've made a lot of mistakes…but you were never one of them_

_I wonder if she would still think that if she knew what was coming less than twenty-four hours later, _I thought gloomily as I poked at the empty glasses.

"Is that you Deidara-kun?" some girl asked behind me.

I roused myself and looked over my shoulder. I squinted at sight as I tried to keep the room from spinning. It was a girl with long blonde hair pulled back into an elaborate braid with shining brown eyes and a friendly smile. She clapped her hands in excitement. "It _is_ you!" She cheered and sat down beside me. "It's been ages!"

I frowned. "Who are _you?_" I blurted out.

She pouted. "How could you forget? Especially when we had such a connection back in Shimizu all those years ago."

She reached out and fingered the zipper of my travel cloak with a sultry smile and amorous eyes. My eyes widened in surprise. "Airi-chan…"

She smiled widely and nodded. "I knew you would remember!" It felt like a blast from the past. She was pretty back then, now she was nothing short of gorgeous. And like Natsume she wasn't afraid to show off her figure to full advantage. She scooted closer. "So what have you been up to? You probably think I'd forgotten all about you. I tried writing you in Yamato but I never heard back. Natsume must have given me the wrong address." A bar tender walked past and she ordered two drinks for us. I thanked her and took a generous sip. It was smooth with just the right amount of fizz and I set the glass down at the table with a pleased smile. She smiled sweetly as she leaned in closer; her sweet perfume filled my senses. "So tell me, what's new with you?"

Obviously she doesn't know that I'm an S-Ranked Criminal. Either that or she doesn't care. I just shrugged. "Oh you know, not much."

She giggled as she flipped her hair over her shoulder. "I doubt your life has been _that_ boring. You're an artist too right? I think I heard that once."

I nodded as I took another sip, it was delicious. "Yeah I am."

"You were probably the best in Iwagakure," she said as she rested a hand on my arm.

I smirked. "Naturally."

"It's a shame that we've lost touch over the years," she sighed as her fingertips drew lazy circles on my skin. She looked at me with adoring eyes. "I held out hope that you would return to Shimizu but you never did." She sighed forlornly but then smiled. "But we can always make up for lost time."

I smiled back. What a flirt but she was the perfect distraction. We reminisced about the past as we drank. I had forgotten how much fun Airi was. After a while the alcohol started getting to me. It was liberating to lose the pain. She rested a hand against my chest. She was very beautiful. "I've really missed you Deidara-kun."

I rested my hand over hers. "Look Airi-chan, I'm dating Natsume now."

She looked surprised. "Really? Where is she?" She looked around.

"She's gone. And it's all my fault." I sighed and drank a little more. I think I better stop; I'm having a hard time seeing straight.

"Oh Deidara-kun," she commiserated as she wrapped one arm around my shoulders. "It's not your fault. Natsume tends to do that, she's never with anyone for very long."

"It's not like that," I growled softly. "She didn't dump me, hm."

She turned my chin towards her and we were nose to nose. She gently stroked my cheek, her fingertips were soft and warm against my skin. Her closeness enveloped my senses as she whispered. "Does the reason really matter? You're here all alone and you deserve better than that."

She tilted her head ever so slightly and gently pressed her soft red lips against mine. I stiffened at first but as she continued to kiss me I soon forgot why I resisted in the first place. Her mouth tasted like cherries, rich and tangy. She giggled softly as I kissed her back. I pulled her onto my lap and greatly enjoyed how her soft curvy body felt in my arms. She wrapped her arms around my neck as the kiss deepened, escalating things deliciously. I felt such a rush as we kept kissing passionately. "I love you Deidara-kun," she whispered.

"I love you Natsume," I groaned in return.

She stopped abruptly and pulled back. "What did you call me?"

I blinked as I tried to focus my thoughts. My mind felt so fuzzy. Then I realized that it wasn't Natsume I'd been kissing but Airi. When I did make that mistake? I groaned and pressed a hand against my forehead. "I'm sorry Airi-chan but I can't do this. I love Natsume."

She looked crushed. "Even though she left you?"

"It's more complicated that than," I sighed wearily.

"It doesn't have to be," she said as her hand rested against my chest.

I gently placed her back in her chair. I stood up and adjusted my collar. "I'm sorry Airi-chan," I repeated as I pulled out my wallet to pay the tab for our drinks. "But you deserve better than to be my rebound."

She sighed disappointedly as she rested her head on her hand. "You're such a good guy Deidara-san."

I shook my head. "No. I'm one of the worst."

I turned to leave and didn't look back. Now I felt even worse. What was I thinking? I should have known that getting drunk was a bad idea. I weaved unsteadily as I walked down the street back towards the base. The neon lights of Nakashima were even more offensive to my sensitive eyes and just compounded my headache. I lowered my gaze to the ground as I forced one foot in front of the other. I felt so exhausted and tired but my anger and guilt drove me on. I hate myself for being so vulnerable and easy for Airi to take advantage of. She may have planned for that to happen but that didn't erase my responsibility for it either. It never should have happened.

The base was still quiet when I returned. The lights of the corridors were mercifully turned down low. Once I got to my room I collapsed onto my bed and fell dead asleep. I was roused awake later with a knock at my door. "Go away," I growled as I rolled over. Ugh my head felt even worse.

The knock grew louder and the sound rattled inside my head.

"Get lost, hm!" I snapped as I threw my pillow at the door.

"It's Kisame," his voice sounded through the door. "I have news about Natsume-san."

I bolted from the bed, tripped over something and slid across the floor into the door. I forced myself up and closed my eyes when my vision spun wildly. I pressed a hand against my nauseous stomach as I leaned against the wall for a moment. That's the last time I ever drink again. I opened the door and Kisame strode inside. "I just received this from Itachi."

"What does it say?" I asked as I stumbled on my way back and collapsed back onto the bed.

He frowned for a moment. "Are you drunk?"

"I was," I groaned as I rubbed my eyes. "Just hung over now."

He shook his head wryly as he chuckled. "Over did it huh?"

"Yeah, hm," I groaned as I rested a hand over my eyes. It was too bright in this room. Why do the lights have to be so stinkin' bright? "It'll be my last time too."

"Anyway, I just received this letter." He said.

"And what does it say?"

I heard the paper rustle as he opened it. I lifted my hand and watched his expression as he read. His face fell and I sat up. "What is it? Is something wrong?"

He swallowed nervously. "Itachi found her in her apartment, nearly dead. She was given a very large dose of Thylacore." I stared wide-eyed. I wasn't too surprised though; Akatsuki doesn't like to leave loose ends. That poison was one that Sasori created; its effectiveness is quick and painful. It's amazing she didn't die within minutes. Kisame continued on. "Her neck also bares signs of attempted strangulation." My heart caught in the throat. My poor girl…I've really let you down this time. Kisame went on. "She's still in critical condition but he's certain that she'll make a full recovery."

I rested a hand over my racing heart as I sighed in relief. She survived! Thank Kami-sama! "Where is she?" I asked. "I have to see her!"

He frowned. "He won't say."

"What?" I cried out. "Gimme that." I snatched the letter out of his hand and read towards the bottom. _I won't disclose our location at the moment. I won't have her safety compromised and we both know that idiot would blurt it out the minute he finds out. _"He just called me an idiot!" I protested. "What a jerk, hm!"

Kisame took the letter from him. "He has a point though. Didn't you read what it said before that?" I shook my head and he read from the letter. "'It's imperative that her survival be kept a secret. She has entrusted me with her name of her attacker but the name too must be kept secret. Needless to say it was an inside job."

I stared him. "An inside job? Like…someone in Akatsuki was behind it?"

He nodded. "That makes sense, since it was brought to the Leader's attention that she was an outsider. It's his job to keep the organization secretive. Now Itachi goes on to say, 'Speak of her to no one, show no connection or attachment. It would only alert the assassin that she lives. If he knew that, he would try again and surely succeed. Stress that particularly to Deidara-san. If he values her life at all he must get over her, or at least appear to.'"

Kisame then held it out in his hand and summoned a mini shark to consume it, effectively destroying all trace of the letter. Not a bad idea if her killer was someone here. "I trust you know what's expected of you then," he said seriously. "No more moping around and acting out of the ordinary. You must act like she never happened."

That would be impossible, but he was right. I'd have to do it, her survival depends on it. I nodded. "I will, I promise." Then I jumped to my feet. "Wait a minute, is she actually _with_ Itachi-san right now?" He nodded and my hands curled into fists. "The nerve of him! He's just going to seduce her and-"

"Give it a rest," he said as he turned on his heel to leave. "He's not going to take advantage of a sick woman. Besides, she's got spirit enough to resist him." He chuckled. "She has a shinobi's spirit even if she doesn't have its strength. She truly is something special."


	38. Chapter 38: Natsume's Unshaken Resolve

[Natsume's Point of View]

When I woke up someone was spooning me from behind, an arm draped around my waist with warm steady breath against my neck. I groaned loudly. "Uchiha-san if its you I'm gonna rip out your fingernails one by one."

He chuckled as he kissed the back of my neck. "Remember this is my bed. I get first dibs."

"Then I'm requesting a room change," I grumbled as I carefully pulled away, taking care not to strain myself. I felt achy but much better overall. I even risked sitting up and did so successfully. I cautiously stretched and it felt incredible. Itachi lay back without a shirt and watched me with a gentle smirk. "You've pulled through the worst of it now, which is impressive considering the amount of poison you consumed. But you've been asleep for about three days too."

I stared at him in surprise. "Are you serious?"

He nodded as he sat up and scooted closer, lifting his hand to stroke my cheek. "Three glorious nights with you sleeping in my arms…"

I blushed and pulled away. "You're such a pervert."

He chuckled and I climbed out of bed. My knees wobbled slightly so I take little baby steps. I slowly approached the window and parted the curtains. It looked to be mid afternoon and yet the streets were empty. That seemed weird. Lots of the buildings seemed to be broken down and abandoned. A chill ran up my spine as Itachi stood close behind me. "Where am I?"

"Sora-ku. It used to be a prosperous town but now is mostly abandoned. Nekobaa used to supply weapons for my clan."

"Nekobaa? You mean that old woman?" I asked as I looked over my shoulder. His handsome porcelain face was very close to mine, his dark eyes softened as he nodded. I backed up against the window and pressed a hand against his chest to push him back. He rested a hand over mine as his smile widened. "Please Uchiha-san," I pleaded. "I'm not comfortable with you being this close."

His face fell slightly but he turned away to pull on a shirt that hung on the back of a chair. "The bathroom is over there. I'll inform Nekobaa that you're awake and I'm sure she'll have something prepared for you when you're done."

"But wait!" I cried out as he started to leave. "I don't have any clothes to change into."

"Yes you do," he said as he opened the closet at the back of the room. "The left side is yours."

I frowned as I looked through the racks. "None of these are mine. They're all brand new clothes."

"Exactly, I took care of that for you. There's no need to thank me."

_I wasn't going to_, I thought sarcastically as I pulled something off the hanger and held it up to look at it closely. I hate to admit it but I really liked it. Since when did guys know how to buy clothes? "Take your time, there's no need to rush," he purred as he slipped his arms low around my waist and cuddled me from behind.

I flinched and tried pushed him away. "Don't take liberties with me. I'm _not_ your girl."

"Not yet," he chuckled as he turned me around to face him. His hands rested on the small of my back. "Oh you try even the greatest of my patience..." he groaned softly as he leaned in to kiss me.

Worried that he'd relent and use the Sharingan on me, I shoved him back and raced into the bathroom. I locked the door with a satisfying click. "Now go away and leave me alone!" I shouted through the door. There was silence. Had he left? I didn't want to risk opening the door to find out. So I took a long bath, enjoying how the hot water soothed my aching body. When I stepped out, I looked in the bathroom mirror. I grimaced when I saw how bruised my neck was. I gently touched the ugly purple marks and flinched. They still really hurt. His terrible words rang through my mind; _I have the power of life and death over you. I can do with you whatever I please. _That's the one thing I've never understood about Shinobi. They think the rest of us should worship them just because they're talented and powerful. What they seem to forget is that they're mere mortals too.

I wrapped myself in a large towel and cautiously peeked out of the door. The room was empty. I quickly locked the main door and turned back to the closet. There was a lot to choose from. Was that for variety's sake or did he intend for me to stay here for a long time? I'm not sure I like that idea. I know I can't go back to the base or my apartment…but I'm not going to be Itachi's pet either. I pulled out a high-necked sweater, mini skirt, and colorful leggings and quickly dressed.

Then I ventured out of the room, startling three cats that were sitting outside the door. They scampered down the narrow hallway and disappeared down a stairwell at the end. The floorboards creaked as I walked carefully. I could hear voices down below. I recognized Itachi's and Nekobaa's, but a few others that I didn't recognize. I paused at the top of the stairs, suddenly reluctant to go down. I felt uncharacteristically shy because I knew that I don't belong here. It was clear by the light, comical tone that they all knew each other well. How am I supposed to fit in? Should I even bother to try?

"How's Natsume-san coming along?" Nekobaa asked.

"I'd go and check but she threw me out," Itachi said in an amused tone of voice.

Nekobaa laughed. "She's strong-willed indeed if she thinks she can tell an Uchiha what to do."

To my surprise Itachi laughed in return. Who is this man? So cold, arrogant, aloof, and yet laughs so merrily? I'm beginning to wonder if I know him at all. Still I couldn't make myself move. Just then a teenage girl came around the corner. She had brown hair as long as mine. She wore a red tank top and sandy-colored pants, a little plain for my taste and not particularly flattering on her either. She blinked in surprise at first and then smiled. "Ah! You must be Natsume-san!"

I nodded uneasily. "I'm Tamaki," she introduced herself with a polite bow. "I'm Nekobaa's granddaughter. I'm pleased to meet you." She seemed to be a little shy but sweet too. I bowed my head in turn with a small smile in turn. She came up the stairs as she looked me over curiously. "You're very beautiful," she complimented. "I can see why you've captured Itachi-san's heart."

I made a face. "No, you've got it all wrong. I'm not with Uchiha-san."

"Oh?" she asked in surprise but seemed secretly pleased to hear that.

"No, I already have a boyfriend. Someone far better than him."

"That's hard to imagine," she said wistfully as her gaze wandered down the stairs. She loves Itachi huh? She looks young, probably fifteen or sixteen. "Anyway, come. Breakfast is ready and I bet you're starving."

I smiled back and nodded. She led me in to see the others seated at the table. It was covered with all kinds of delicious-smelling food. My mouth watered as my stomach growled loudly. It'd been days since I had a real meal.

"Ah there she is," Itachi sounded smug but of course I ignored him.

"How are you feeling?" Nekobaa asked. Her voice was smooth and young sounding for a woman of her years.

"Much better," I said as I bowed respectfully. "Thank you for caring for me."

"Any friend of Itachi's is welcome here," she said kindly.

I hesitated and looked at Itachi warily. "We're not really…that is…uh…"

"Sit down and eat," Tamaki broke the awkwardness as she pointed to an empty chair.

I quickly did so, even if it was right next to Itachi. I ignored him as I loaded my plate up with food. I eagerly ate and smiled at Nekobaa. "This is delicious!" She smiled with pleasure and I continued eating, filling my empty stomach.

Then suddenly something jumped onto my shoulder, startling me. It was a cat wearing a shirt. That's weird. "You smell of the sea," it said in a female voice.

I cried out in surprise, so startled that I nearly fell out of my chair. "It talked!" I squeaked.

"So did you but you don't see us freaking out about it," said another cat in male voice as he jumped into my lap.

I just stared. Talking cats? That should be impossible! What is this place?

"This is Denka," Itachi introduced as he referenced to the one sitting on my lap. "And this is Hina," he pointed to the one that made herself cozy on my shoulders. Her tail lazily flicked my ear. "They are Shinobi Cats."

I looked a little skeptical. Shinobi Cats? For real? Now I've seen everything.

Denka sat up on his hind legs and rested his paws against my chest. "Did you bring us a present?"

"I…uh…" I stammered.

"Of course she did," Itachi interrupted. "You'll find it in my knapsack upstairs."

He perked up and jumped off my lap. Hina, however, was content to sleep on my shoulders. She purred softly. I looked at Itachi. "What present?"

"Don't be so modest," he said as he took a sip of his drink. "You wouldn't dream of coming here without bringing a present for those two. They'd never forgive you if you didn't."

Just then Denka returned with a bottle of catnip in his mouth. "Well done human," he praised. "Nothing short of the best."

"Uh…you're welcome," I said warily. I don't know what to make of these talking cats.

Nekobaa laughed. "You're really out of your element here, aren't you?"

I nodded shyly. "Yeah this whole Shinobi thing isn't normal for me."

"So you're not one?" Tamaki asked curiously.

I shook my head. "No, I'm an artist. I paint, make pottery, sculpt, a little bit of everything."

"Ah so that's where your interest in Deidara-san comes from," Itachi surmised. "Well that makes sense then. No one would settle for him for intellectual reasons."

I glared at him. "When I first met him, he wasn't interested in art."

He kept his cool. "It's a shame then that he didn't maintain that viewpoint."

My hands curled into fists as I struggled to keep my temper in check. I hated his insults about Deidara. What right did he have to make fun of Deidara? "If you despise him so much then you shouldn't have recruited him," I said through my teeth.

"It wasn't of my choosing," he said as he looked at me sideways. "Pein-sama found his skills desirable and so I followed his orders."

I guess that made sense. I kept my mouth shut when I noticed how Nekobaa and Tamaki were staring at us. I let the subject drop; my dislike of Itachi shouldn't ruin a perfectly good meal. I turned back to my plate and finished it silently. The others talked a little but I tuned them out as I thought about Deidara. Does he think I've abandoned him? That I would really leave without saying good-bye? Was he out there looking for me? I hated to think that he was worrying about me. I have to find a way to contact him…or better yet to see him again. I looked out the window at the vivid blue sky. We'll find a way to be together again. I'm sure of it. I giggled to myself. How ironic, his optimism appears to be rubbing off on me. I yawned when I finished eating. Having a full stomach made me feel sleepy. "Thank you again for breakfast," I thanked my hostess. I stood up and yawned again. "I'm sorry but I…I think I need a little more rest."

She nodded. "Take it easy. Thylacore is a strong poison. Full recovery will take several weeks."

My face fell. "But I can't wait that long! Deidara's waiting for me-"

"He'll have to keep waiting then," Itachi said firmly as he stood up. "I won't have him compromise your safety."

I frowned at him. "I don't mean to sound ungrateful Uchiha-san, but it's not your job to protect me."

"You would rather have his shoddy attempts?" He asked with an arched eyebrow.

"I don't need his protection either," I said as I stuck my chin out stubbornly. "I can take care of myself." I turned on my heel and started to leave the room. I meant to carry myself proudly, show him that I didn't need his help anymore. I ruined that by stumbling and falling forward.

He deftly caught me and then hefted me in his strong arms. "You're too stubborn for your own good sometimes," he muttered as he carried me up the stairs. I blushed and lowered my gaze with shame. He carried me down the hallway and back into his room.

I resisted as he laid me down in his bed. "I can't stay in your room anymore."

"Why not?" He gently challenged as he knelt over me.

"It sends the wrong image," I said. It sounded lame, even to me. But it was true. I don't want him to think that anything is going to happen between us. And truth be told I'm afraid that something will if we're together for too long.

"Propriety has little to do with it," he said softly. "This room is ideally suited for you. It has the most privacy. It would be ungrateful to your hostess to demand a different one."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You just want to keep me under your control."

He smirked. "I can do that regardless of location," he said smugly as his eyes turned blood-red. I gasped just before I fell under his spell. He bent down to kiss me and under his hypnotic suggestion I kissed him back. The kiss was chaste but lingered with sexual tension. Then he stopped and looked at me, his mouth still very close to mine. "Forgive me Natsume-san, I know it was selfish of me but I couldn't resist." His fingers embedded in my hair as he rested his forehead against mine. "I care for you and would never let you come to harm. So despite your hatred of me, I'll protect you with my life."

As the Sharingan faded away his ebony eyes looked so sincere. He really meant what he said. And for the first time I saw something in them I've never seen before. There was hidden pain, like he too was holding back his true self. A prisoner within his own mind, plagued by his own inner demons…just like…I used to be…

I gently touched his cheek. "Who are you…really?"

"Someone very much like you," he murmured softly. "Who tries daily to rise above the horror of the past; wanting desperately to deny it but will forever be changed by it."

I didn't know what to say to that but I knew exactly how he felt. I still struggle with that torment but telling Deidara about it had relieved it immensely. We stared at each other in silence for a long time. Something passed between us, nothing of the romantic sense…not least not for me. I was suddenly curious about this man who wore an emotional mask similar to mine. Did he find closure too? Or does he carry the burden alone? He kissed my forehead and drew back. "Get some rest and save that stubbornness for when you have the strength for it," he gently teased as he tucked me in.

He turned to leave and I called after him. "Just for the record…if you _ever_ use that Sharingan on me again-"

He smirked. "Threat acknowledged. Now go to sleep."

I smirked back and turned over to fall asleep. It was nighttime when I awakened again. I saw up and looked around. I was alone. Where are Itachi and the others? I slowly climbed out of bed and felt my way along the wall towards the door. It was dark in the hallway but I noticed a light at the bottom of the stairs. I slowly descended on tiptoe and heard hushed voices.

"Do you really think this will fool him?" Nekobaa asked skeptically.

"It should," Itachi assured her. "The only thing I can't replicate is the chakra signal and Natsume-san does not possess one anyway."

"I don't like this," Nekobaa said suspiciously. "It's too risky. You have incredible talent but you don't stand a chance against someone like him."

They were talking about me and Tobi…but why? I peeked my head around the corner. My heart stopped when I saw me approach Itachi and wrap her arms around his neck. She looked _just_ like me! How is that possible? His strong hands went around her spine and pressed her body closer to his. I stormed into the room. "What's going on here?"

"Oh it's you," the girl said as she looked at me over her shoulder.

I approached her with a frown and looked her over thoroughly. She was my identical in every way. I glared at Itachi. "What do you think you're doing? Figured that if you can't have the real thing you'd make a copy of me instead? That's beyond disgusting."

He shook his head. "No, I wouldn't go that far. I'd much rather have the real thing," he smirked deviously. So he's up to his old flirtatious tricks. I glared at him and he explained that this was a shadow clone, a decoy.

"Why did you make it?" I asked

"By now Tobi will realize that you're not lying dead in your apartment," he said with a straight face. I wonder if death even fazes him. "He will know that someone has moved you and with any luck he won't realize that I did. But he will rightly assume that you're still alive and will come back to finish the job."

I stared at him wide-eyed and completely speechless. No…no…I can't go through that again! No! Itachi turned towards me and rested his hands on my arms as he stood close. "Don't worry, I won't let that happen. I'll bring an end to it by letting him destroy this clone instead. In the meantime, you _must_ stay here. You can't be seen by the outside world otherwise he will discover the deception. Promise me that you'll stay inside."

"But I need to see Deidara!" I protested. "He has to know that I haven't abandoned him!"

His face hardened. "How can you forgive him so easily? He nearly had you killed."

"It wasn't his fault," I insisted. "And besides I have to warn him about Tobi! He has to know that he's using him!"

Itachi shook his head. "Deidara-san can't know that. As long as he's in the dark, he will remain safe. Just like you were safe with Tobi until he saw you as a threat. Just forget about him altogether, it's for the best."

"I have to wonder how much of this is for my safety than it is for your convenience." I accused as I folded my arms defiantly against my chest. "So listen up; I'm not giving up on Deidara."

He narrowed his eyes. "Is that a threat?"

"I don't care what you think it is," I said stubbornly. Fire blazed in his coal-black eyes as his mouth hardened into a thin white line. He was angry now but I won't back down. "Deidara means everything to me!"

"Even at the cost of your life?" He purred contemptuously.

"He _is_ my life!" I said as I grasped hold of his shirt. "Can't you understand that? Haven't you ever had someone so precious that you'd give _everything_ up for them?" He was startled out of his temper and I pressed my advantage. "I promise to stay out of trouble if you promise to bring him here."

He frowned. "I'm under no obligation to promise you anything."

"Neither am I," I shot back.

Nekobaa's laugh interrupted our argument. "Ah she has spirit indeed, even to match that of the Uchiha!" She held her sides as she continued laughing. Embarrassed, I let go of Itachi and stepped back. I had forgotten she was even there. "Come now Itachi," she said as she patted him on the back. "It's a fair compromise; you'll both get what you want. You will be assured of her safety and she will see her precious Deidara-san."

"There's more at risk than that," he said firmly. "He'll blow her cover!"

"No he won't," I said just as firmly. "Not when he knows what's at stake. He won't make the same mistake twice."

He still looked unconvinced. "Very well," he said grudgingly. "But understand this," he said as he narrowed his eyes shrewdly. "If he _ever _compromises your safety again, I'll personally see to it that he _never_ will again."

"Is that a threat?" I asked as a shiver ran up my spine.

"I don't care what you think it is," he repeated my words coldly and with that he walked away, pulling on his Akatsuki robe as he left. The clone dutifully followed after him.

I stomped my foot. "Ooh how I'd love to wring his neck!"

"Let it go, my dear. You've already won." Nekobaa laughed again as she linked arms with me and led me to the kitchen. "How about a midnight snack while you tell me more about this Deidara-san of yours. I'd like to know what kind of man inspired you to stand up to Itachi for his sake. He must be nothing short of fantastic."


	39. Chapter 39: Bittersweet

[Natsume's Point of View]

The next morning I politely requested to have my own room; I hated the idea of staying in Itachi's. Nekobaa wasn't kidding about the recovery process either. I spent a full month just eating and sleeping. I didn't have energy for anything else and I soon grew to hate sleeping so much. The rest was very much needed but all I dreamed about was Itachi. The dreams varied from passionate to personal. During those times he was more candid, his expression softened, and he smiled more. "I want you to see the side of me that I hide from the rest of the world." He said once. He spoke fondly of his village, his parents, and especially his little brother. It was a tender side of him that I never suspected him capable of. Still it felt like an invasion in my mind. I don't want to dwell on him. I mentioned it to Nekobaa and Tamaki over breakfast one morning. Tamaki looked crushed and Nekobaa started at this. "How often do you have these dreams?"

"Every single night," I groaned. "It makes me NOT want to sleep ever again."

To my surprise she chuckled. "That sly Uchiha."

I frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"He is speaking to you through your dreams," she said as she rested a hand over mine and patted it. "Uchiha often form this mental connection with their beloved."

I blinked in surprise, completed stunned. Then my temper flared, I jumped to my feet, and slammed my fists onto the table top. "Do you mean to tell me that he's doing this _on_ _purpose?_"

The objects on the table rattled and she deftly caught her tea cup before it toppled over. She brought it to her lips to sip. "That's exactly what I'm saying. He is sharing with you the desires of his heart. It's a very sweet gesture-"

"Screw his desires!" I snapped at her. "He has no right to do that to me! I'm _not_ his beloved and I don't want to be!"

She considered this for a moment and then nodded. "It is wrong of him to do this without your knowledge or consent. I'll remove the connection if that is what you wish."

"Yes! Please!" I said desperately. Oh that Uchiha! I'm going to kill him for doing this to me!

She stood up and did one of those Shinobi hand gestures. I wonder why they do that. Is it a way to focus their power? Then she tapped the middle of my forehead. I felt a jolt run through me that startled me. Then she sat back down. "There, it is done."

"Thank you," I said as I pressed a hand against my forehead. No wonder Shinobi are so feared and respected, I had no idea they were capable of getting inside someone's mind. That night I slept peacefully and Itachi-free. I wonder if he knows that the connection has been broken. For a few days I feared some kind of retribution but nothing happened.

That was the case for a long time. Three full months went by with still no sign of him or Deidara. I was starting to go stir-crazy being cooped up inside for so long but as I grew stronger, I started to be of more use around the place. I helped Nekobaa with the store's inventory, helped Tamaki in the kitchen, and even groomed the cats. Denka and Hina loved that extra special attention and took to sleeping on my bed…a favor they apparently never bestowed on their owners. I don't know though, sometimes it was annoying to have them chatting back and forth while I was trying to sleep. Nekobaa kept me busy with chores once I was fully recovered. She had me clean up this old hotel across the street, refurnish it, re-paint it, and for what? It seemed like such a waste of time but I didn't want to appear ungrateful. She did after all save my life.

She had a few regular customers (who all knew to bring Denka and Hina presents). When they came I was expected to remain in my room. I couldn't afford to be seen, which is why one day I was surprised to be called down to help with a customer. I blinked in surprise at Tamaki who had come for me. She smiled sweetly. "It's a special exception."

I followed her downstairs and entered the store. Nekobaa was seated in her usual place, lazily smoking from her pipe. I approached her with a bow. "Yes Nekobaa? Is there something you need?" She smiled serenely and gestured with her pipe to something behind me. I turned to see Deidara staring at me in disbelief. Then his eyes lit up and he smiled warmly. I shrieked with delight and ran into his arms.

"Oh Natsume!" He gushed as he hugged me tightly. "I thought I'd never see you again." His voice trembled with relief.

In that moment the world faded away. I felt complete like I haven't in so long. He's here! He's finally here! I kissed him passionately and he responded back with a passion of his own. Nekobaa's laughter interrupted the scene, reminding us that there was an audience to our reunion. I giggled as I stopped kissing him. He looked a little embarrassed but kept his arms around me.

"There's no doubt about it," Nekobaa said wryly. "This is the boyfriend."

"Unfortunately," Itachi purred from the shadows before stepping into the light. He walked past us and bowed in greeting to Nekobaa. "I trust that things went well?"

She nodded. "Indeed they did. She kept her end of the deal and now you have."

He grunted in response and then looked at me over his shoulder. His expression was harsh but his eyes revealed his true feelings: he was jealous. Then his voice spoke inside my head. _Don't reveal Tobi's involvement. That is as much for Deidara-san's safety as it is for your own._ Then he turned away and entered the main part of the house.

I frowned for a moment. Did he reestablish the mental link? I guess I'll find out tonight when I sleep. Tamaki approached shyly with a sweet smile. "So this must be in infamous Deidara-san."

I nodded and introduce him to Tamaki and Nekobaa. "They saved my life and have cared for me ever since."

"Then I thank you both," he said sincerely with a deep bow.

"I imagine that you two have much to catch up on," Nekobaa said with a twinkle in her eye as she tossed me the key to the hotel. I smiled as I understood. So that's why she'd kept me busy renovating that building. She knew that I'd want some privacy when Deidara finally arrived.

I took him by the hand and led him away. Deidara followed silently but I smirked gently when I saw his amorous gaze. Once I closed the hotel's bedroom door behind us, I pulled him for another kiss. I leaned into him, pressing my body against his. He resisted when I tried to deepen the kiss. I pouted. "Why do you hesitate?"

He looked sad. "Why aren't you angry with me? It's my fault you were almost killed. You know that…don't you?"

I nodded warily. "But that doesn't matter-"

"Doesn't matter?" He blurted out in shock. "Of course it does, hm! It means that you're in danger just because we're together!"

I glared at him and grabbed hold of his Akatsuki cloak. "If you're trying to break up with me-"

"I'm not! I'm not!" He hastily reassured me. "It's just that…" his expression softened. "I'm sorry that it happened. And that I wasn't able to rescue you…I searched for you all over the base before I even thought to go to your apartment." He scowled darkly. "The very thought of Itachi-san rescuing you makes me sick. It's not his place! It should have been me!"

"Just forget about it. Besides it won't happen again as long as you keep me a secret this time," I gently scolded. "And come to me as often as you can without arousing suspicion."

He smirked as his hands rested low on my hips. "I think I can manage that," he teased and kissed my forehead. I tried to kiss him but he resisted again. "There's something else you should know."

I groaned. "Out with it then," I said impatiently.

He reddened and looked away. "I kissed Airi-chan."

I rolled my eyes. "Why should I care what you did years ago?"

"No, it only happened a few months ago, hm," he went even redder. "I ran into her in a bar in Nakashima-"

I laughed and shook my head wryly. "Say no more, I can guess what happened. She got you drunk and kissed you. That's her usual method for picking up guys."

"That's still no excuse!" He protested. "I shouldn't have done it!"

"And you wouldn't have if you weren't drunk right?" I asked. He nodded vigorously. He looked so guilty, poor kid. He really can be such a softy. He could have kept that secret from me and I never would have known. It meant a lot that he wanted to be completely honest with me; I liked that. "Then that's all I need to know." I giggled as I whispered against his lips. "Now if you're through blaming yourself and confessing then shut up and make love to me."

He grinned deviously as he slipped his hand up the back of my shirt. "You don't have to tell me twice." He kissed me back, deliciously soft and sexy. "I love you Natsume," he murmured.

I groaned as I pressed into him. "Say it again. I've missed hearing you say it."

"I love you Natsume," he repeated and continued to as he kissed all over my face and neck. Each time he said it, it made my heart soar with love and gratitude. How did I get so lucky?

"I love you even more Deidara," I kissed him back.

He chuckled softly against my lips. "That's impossible."

"I'll prove it to you then," I bragged as I pushed him back onto the bed and knelt over him. We spent the next several hours with great pleasure. It was fierce and passionate and I completely blew his mind; making him beg for more. That was a definite boost to my ego, its good to know that I'm better than him at something. But it also felt immensely satisfying to prove my commitment and my loyalty to him. I'm his girl, only he has my heart with all its light and dark sides. It felt even better to know how much he loved me in return.

It was well into the night when we ran out of energy and lay side by side with smug looks on our faces. He cuddled close, his skin hot against mine. I could feel his heart race through his chest, his breath warm in my face. He kissed me gently as his hand ran down the length of my back. "You're my girl, never forget that. You mean the world to me."

"You _are_ my world," I whispered back as I rested my hand against his chest. I sighed in contentment. "I wish that we could always be together."

He sighed too, though it seemed more disconsolate. "Me too, especially since I have to leave in the morning."

I gasped and pulled away. "Really? Why?"

Those vivid blue eyes were so sad as he gently reached out to stroke my arm. "My stop here in Sora-ku is only part of my assignment."

I was crushed. "You can't stay any longer?"

He shook his head sadly. "No, Itachi-san and I are on our way back to the base. Things have gotten stricter now, especially since I screwed up so badly before."

I frowned as I scooted closer. "How so?"

He took my hand and kissed it tenderly. "Us being together. It's the biggest taboo in Akatsuki. We're supposed to cut off all personal ties upon joining."

"Screw Akatsuki!" I cursed under my breath. "They shouldn't keep us apart and you shouldn't let them!"

"It's not up to me," he said sadly. "If I were ever to defect, they'd kill me."

I stared in horror. Would they really do that? He looked completely serious so I knew that he spoke the truth. It's just not fair! He pulled me in for another gentle kiss. "But morning is hours away. Let's enjoy the remaining time that we have together."

I nodded mutely. He's right, there's nothing to be done about it. To argue the matter would only waste what precious time we have left. We talked for a while longer and naturally he asked who had tried to kill me. He wasn't happy that I refused to tell him and quite frankly neither was I, but even I came to agree with Itachi. Deidara would be better off not knowing. If Itachi feared Tobi…then Deidara didn't stand a chance against him. Eventually I fell asleep in his arms, lulled to sleep by the sound of his steady heartbeat.

The next morning we rejoined the others for breakfast. Deidara went upstairs to shower and I help Tamaki set the table. I was in the kitchen getting plates and when a pair of hands rested on either side of me, pinning me against the counter. There was purple polish on his fingernails, it had to be Itachi. "What do you what?" I huffed.

"I hate to see you waste your time with that twit." He purred as his lips brushed the back of my neck.

"It's _my_ time to waste," I said firmly. "And I'm beginning to find your resentment towards him childish!"

"I don't resent him," he whispered. "I envy him." I paused at this. Just because I knew that he was jealous didn't mean that I expected him to admit it. I looked at him over my shoulder and saw his sad ebony eyes. "You still hate me," he said sadly.

I frowned. "When we first met you tried to rape me, you use your Sharingan on me just to prove your superiority, and you make fun of my boyfriend and our relationship. Not to mention the fact that you're a mass murderer who's traumatized your little brother beyond repair."

His eyes widened. "You've met Sasuke?"

I nodded. "So I think you'll understand my reasons for not trusting you. You hide behind a mask but through how many layers? How would I ever know which one is the real you?" He opened his mouth to speak but I pressed a finger against his lips to stop him. "You're welcome to keep all the secrets you want. I don't even want to know. Now if you'll excuse me," I said as I pulled away. Thankfully he didn't follow after me and Tamaki and I finished setting the table. We all sat down to eat; Deidara wasn't down yet, he must still preening upstairs. Sheesh, I swear he takes better care of his hair than I do. _What a girly man_, I thought with a smirk.

Tamaki served the rice and handed me a bowl of it. "Did you and Deidara-san have a good date last night?" She asked.

I opened my mouth to answer but Denka beat me to it. "I'll say they did, Hina and I saw them mating quite a few times."

The room turned deathly silent and I turned beet red. "Denka!" I snapped at him.

"You know for such a short male I never would have imagined such sexual stamina," Hina surmised casually.

I covered my face shamefully. I just wanted to die. "Please stop!" I begged. "No one wants to hear about that!"

"Agreed," Itachi said simply. "I should hate to lose my appetite."

I glared at him. "I bet you wouldn't have any objections if it had been you and me last night!"

He smirked deviously. "None whatsoever. And I know that you wouldn't have either."

I blushed and scowled as I turned back to my meal. "You're so full of yourself."

Just then Deidara came down to join us. He kissed the top of my head as he sat down beside me. Then he noticed everyone staring at him. "What? Did I do something wrong, hm?"

"Just forget about it," I said as I handed him a bowl of rice.

The rest of the meal went well, Nekobaa helped ease the awkwardness by asking Deidara's questions about how we met. "I've always been lucky with the ladies," he bragged with a sexy smile. He can be such a player. "Within two minutes of meeting her, she gave me the kiss of a lifetime."

I laughed. "Which rendered you speechless for the whole rest of that time! You were real smooth alright," I teased as I tweaked his nose.

He pouted. "Hey that's not fair! I'm the one telling the story so I can tweak it anyway I want to!"

"She wants to know the truth, not your interpretation of it," I teased again. "Besides our story isn't that exciting until we got together. Until then you were just a hopeless romantic wasting your time trying to win me over."

"None of it was a wasted time," he murmured as he pulled me in for a soft kiss. "I spent all of it with you."

I blushed with pleasure and gently pulled away. I love how sweet he can be, but not in front of an audience. Instead I turned towards Itachi. "Why do you two have to leave so soon? Are you sure you can't both stay just a little longer?"

"I'm afraid not," he said as he rested his chopsticks down and stood up. "Say your good-byes Deidara-san. We must leave very soon."

Deidara looked miserable as he led me away to the living room so we could have some privacy. He held me close and rested his forehead against mine. "I don't want to leave you Natsume. I don't want to say goodbye."

"I know," I murmured sadly. "I don't either."

He kissed me gently, the same kind of sweet lingering kiss that so tempted me when we were younger. Even though I had felt a connection, I had just been too afraid to own up to it back then. In retrospect _I_ was the one who wasted time. All that time we could have been together…why did it have to start so late only to be suffocated by Akatsuki's controlling grasp? I grasped hold of him tightly. "You don't have to go," I begged him. "Run away with me."

I could feel his hands tremble against the small of my back. "You don't know how much I want to." He confessed.

"But why can't you?" I persevered. "It would be just the two of us; we could be together all day every day-"

"Deidara-san, it's time," Itachi said from the doorway.

Curse him! How dare he interrupt us! Deidara sighed and pulled away. "Good-bye Natsume. I'll come back as soon as I can." Then he walked away and didn't look back. It hurt so badly and I felt my heart break. How much longer will I let him walk away? I know he doesn't want to go back, just like I'm aware of the threat against him should he desert. But we've beaten impossible odds before, why should this be any different? Why is he letting them win? Letting them say how it should be?

Itachi looked at me sympathetically. "As hard as this is for you, surely you know that it's even harder for him."

I glared at him. "How would you know that?"

"Because he's the one who's created the situation," he said smoothly. "He now knows he must keep his distance. It is not to hurt you…but to protect you."

"It shouldn't have to be this way!" I cried out.

"But it is so you will have to make the best of it."

My hands curled into fists as he coolly walked away. So he just wants to me accept that this was all there would ever be? I refuse to! I'm going to find a way for us to stay together!


	40. Chapter 40: Birthday Surprises

[Deidara's Point of View]

Hours later and Natsume's face still haunted me. _You don't have to go_, she begged as she clung to me. _Run away with me._ I stared straight ahead at the horizon, into the blinding setting sun. I so badly wanted to look behind me but I know that as soon as I do I'll turn back. It broke my heart to leave her behind. Not only that but to see someone so strong actually beg was unsettling. It wasn't an unnatural request though, I also longed for the same thing. It's not fair that we have to stay apart. She seemed happy with Nekobaa and her granddaughter…but to be abandoned in some long forgotten city doesn't sit well with me. She deserves better than that…so much more.

"You're silent Deidara-san," Itachi mused as we ran side-by-side. "That is not what I expected from you."

I scowled at him. "Like I care about your expectations, hm."

"I don't see what you have to be so glum about," Itachi said calmly, his expression composed. "You know that she loves you and will be waiting for you. Isn't that enough?"

I frowned at him. What a strange thing to say. "No it's not," I said firmly. That's all I could bring myself to say. My heart was breaking inside. I hate that we can't stay together. I long to hold her in my arms and breathe in her salty-sweet scent. I want to see the mischievous gleam in her eye, her devious smile, hear her laugh…I want to spend all day every day with her. But these weren't things that I wanted to talk about with Itachi, especially if he has any feelings for her still. Thankfully he kept silent after that.

We spent the night in some little village and I tossed and turned throughout the night. Growling in frustration I jumped out of bed and paced back and forth. My emotions were running high; love for Natsume mixed with anger at leaving her behind. Does she think me cold for leaving without answering her plea? Does she think I prefer Akatsuki over her? If only she knew the truth! If only-I stopped mid-step and turned towards the desk in the corner. There was paper and ink. An idea sprang to mind and I immediately sat down. It's been so long since I've written a personal letter but the words just poured out onto the paper at lightening speed. I told her how much I loved her, what she meant to me and how I longed to have a future with her too. By the end I had four pages and I read back through it. I grimaced a little at how sappy I sounded. But it was heartfelt and hopefully she'll find it romantic. In the end I added. _You remind me of all the best parts of myself…the parts I've lost through the years. I want to be everything you thought me to be. Besides obnoxious, I still can't believe you said that. I'll get you back for that one of these days. _

Just for a tease I signed it "Your future husband." One of these days I'll convince her to marry me. Then we'll really have the future we want together. I then opened the window and created a messenger bird. I've used the kind before for infiltration operations; I knew this wouldn't be detected or intercepted. I fed the bird the message and it flew off into the night towards Sora-ku. She should get it by dawn. I smiled with satisfaction as I closed the window. Now with my thoughts given release my fatigue caught up to me and I slept peacefully for the rest of the night.

The next morning Itachi and I set out again and within a few days we were within sight of the base. He then caught me by the arm. "One moment, Deidara-san."

I grimaced and pulled away. "What'dya want, hm?" Then I panicked as he activated his Sharingan. "What are you doing?!"

"I am going to erase all memory of your meeting with Natsume-san," he said calmly.

"Like heck you are!" I snarled at him. "Turn off those creepy eyes!"

He frowned. "Natsume-san may trust you but quite frankly I do not. I know that left to yourself you'll accidentally reveal her existence. I can't have that."

"You're crazy," I grumbled as I walked away.

Then he grabbed hold of me and pinned me against a tree trunk. Those blood-red eyes bore into mine. "Unlike you, _I_ don't take her safety so lightly."

I grabbed hold of his cloak and glared at him. "I don't either, hm!"

"Even if you found a way to keep your mouth shut the memory still remains. Were you ever to be interrogated it would be revealed," Itachi said coldly. I could feel his hatred which surprised me. What reason does he have to hate me? "Why do you selfishly cling to what could harm her?"

"Because it's all I have!" I snapped. Silence stretched between us. "I can live with the fact that I can't be with her…the memory is all I have left. So I can't lose that…I just can't." I whispered softly, embarrassed to be so honest with this jerk.

He considered this for a moment. "Very well, there is an alternative. I can block your memories from other's view as well as ensure your verbal silence."

I frowned at him. "Why should I even go along with this?"

He grabbed hold of my chin as he narrowed his eyes. "_I'm_ the one who saved her life and I'll do everything to keep her safe. Those are your two options so chose wisely."

The nerve of him! How dare he hold it over me that he saved her! It wasn't his place to anyway! Just like it wasn't his responsibility to protect her. His grip was tight and I'm familiar with his determined nature. He wasn't going to let go and unfortunately I wasn't strong enough to kick his butt either. I scowled. "Fine, block my memories from outside view."

He nodded and used that stupid Sharingan on me. It's so disgusting and violating…and even worse that I secretly envied its power.

"There, it is done," he said smoothly as he let go and turned away. Once inside the base, we gave our mission report and then were finally free of each other. Granted traveling with him was much quieter than it is with Tobi but that's the only thing I enjoyed about his company. He was also intimidating, demanding, and downright bossy. Just because he's my superior doesn't give him the right to boss me around.

As I walked down the corridor to my room Tobi suddenly hugged me. "Tobi missed his Senpai sooooooo much!" He sang cheerfully.

"Knock it off, hm!" I snapped as I pried myself free.

"You missed Tobi too, don't deny it!" He teased.

"Oh I do and I will," I scowled.

"You're so cruel," he whined as he looked dejected. "Tobi works so hard to please you."

"If you want to please me then let me rest in peace," I said as I stifled a yawn. "You have no idea how tiring it can be to work with an Uchiha."

He giggled childishly but I ignored him and entered my room. I threw my knapsack on the floor and collapsed onto the bed. Thoroughly exhausted I fell fast asleep.

Over the next few months I secretly sent Natsume letters and small gifts. I knew she wouldn't dare write back and for all I knew she probably only read half of them. But it was important to me to let her know how much I was thinking about her and looking forward to the next time we'd meet. The amount of time between each message varied because I had to be discreet. Especially since I still don't know who tried to kill her. I can't believe she won't tell me who was behind it. She really thinks she's protecting me, what a load of crap that is. She needs _my_ protection, not the other way around.

In the meantime I acted the villainous role to perfection. It was a necessary evil to keep suspicion off of me. And I'll admit that I loved displaying my art for the victims to appreciate and experience before their impending deaths. And yet part of me still felt that twinge of regret, that brief mourning for the loss of life. I haven't felt that in years…only since I've reconnected with Natsume. She reminds me often of who I used to be and at times it clashes with who I am. A person can't be so divided…and I wonder which side will win out. But apparently I was convincing enough because Pein praised me personally. "You've done well and exceeded all expectations," he said with a slight smile. "I must admit that I was concerned after your slip-up but now I am happy to be proven wrong."

I bowed my head respectfully. "Thank you Pein-sama."

"Why don't you take some time off?" He suggested as he clapped a hand on my shoulder. "Consider it a reward."

I smiled and nodded. As he walked away a brilliant idea sprang to mind and I turned away to make preparations. A week later I was ready to set out for Sora-ku. I set off alone, making sure to cover my tracks in case I was being followed. I'm not going to take any risks when it comes to her, I can't afford to. It took me longer than before but I had planned for that to be the case. I entered Sora-ku just before sunrise. Denka and Hina stopped me by the store's entrance. "Ah it's you again," Denka purred as his tail switched back and forth lazily. "Come to see Natsume, I take it?" I nodded. He narrowed his eyes shrewdly. "And what have you brought us?"

I reached into my side pouch and the mouth on my hand ingested some clay. Then I held my hand out, palm upward. The two cats perked up at the sight of my mini bird sculpture and meowed with delight when it flapped around them. They playfully batted at it and I left them to their entertainment. They didn't stop me so obviously the present pleased them. I found Nekobaa inside reorganizing some items on the shelf. She smiled at me. "Ah Deidara-san! What brings you here?"

"It's Natsume's birthday," I said with a smile. "I've come to surprise her."

"What a surprise indeed, on both counts!" She chuckled. "She never told us about her birthday."

"She doesn't really make a big deal about it," I assured her. "Where is she now?"

"Sleeping in her room," she pointed at the backdoor. "Just go up the stairs and it's the third room on the left."

I bowed my head in gratitude. The house was dark still so I quietly made my way up the stairs. I carefully opened her bedroom door and poked my head inside. She lay serenely in bed, the blankets wrapped around her curvy body. I rested my knapsack on the floor and climbed into bed beside her. She stirred slightly but didn't awaken. I was content to watch her for a while as I gently stroked her arm, her cheek, her luscious blonde hair…she was a masterpiece. My fingers lingered on her lips and at this she stirred awake. She blinked at me lazily with a vacant expression. Then she smiled and snuggled closer. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. "Happy Birthday," I whispered.

She answered with a snore and I chuckled. Apparently she was still asleep. No problem, I can wait. That long journey had tired me out so I too drifted off to sleep.

Then suddenly I was kicked off the bed. I slammed into the wall, cracking my head in the process. My vision spun as I heard her scream. "How many times do I have to tell you that-" Then she gasped in surprise. "Dei-Dei?"

I groaned as I sat up and pressed a hand against my aching forehead. "Who'd you think it was, hm?" I grumbled.

She looked embarrassed as she wrung the blanket nervously in her hands. "Uchiha-san," she whispered.

"What?!" I snapped as I jumped to my feet. "Is something going on between you two?"

She glared at me fiercely. "Of course not! He's just a pervert who sneaks into my bed whenever he comes to see Nekobaa." I felt ready to explode, hands tightly clenched into fists. The nerve of that Uchiha! How dare he think he can seduce her! She's _my_ girl! I was startled out of my temper when she kissed me. "Don't worry about it," she murmured softly as she wrapped her arms around my neck. "_You're_ the one I love. Nothing will ever change that." She squeezed a little tighter. "I'm so happy to see you again."

I hugged her back. "Me too. I'm sorry it's been so long-"

She interrupted me with another kiss; gentle, sweet, and deliciously slow. The moment was nothing short of magic and even better than my dreams. Content to leave it at that, she pulled back slightly. "How long can you stay this time?" She asked worriedly.

"A whole week," I said with a smile. "I earned some time off." She brightened at this which made my heart skip a beat. Her beautiful loving gaze still amazes me. How did I get so lucky? I pulled away to retrieve something from my knapsack. "I got you something for your birthday."

"You remembered?" She asked in surprise.

"Of course I did," I huffed, just a little offended. "What kind of boyfriend would forget his girlfriend's birthday?" I turned around and held out a long and skinny package.

She took it and sat on the bed to open it. She stared in surprise as she lifted the flute gingerly in her hands. It was made of Lunalite, a black and silver streaked metal found only in her hometown. I owe Kisame for providing that information. She stared at me in wonder, her beautiful mouth hung open. "I…I used to have something like this when I was a little girl…before we had to move." She looked down and gently stroked the polished flute. She was in complete awe, causing my pride to sky-rocket. Then she carefully brought it to her lips and played a sweet little melody. To my surprise the silver parts of the flute glowed as she blew into the instrument. I didn't know it could do that, but it made for an impressive performance. At the end she smiled at me. "Thank you Dei-Dei. I love it."

I sat down beside her as she placed it back in its velvet-lined case. She looked a little sheepish as she turned back to me. "Now I feel really bad that I didn't get you anything for your birthday."

"Don't," I reassured her as I pulled her into my arms. "You're the present I enjoy throughout the year."

She giggled as she kissed me. "You hopeless little romantic."

I kissed her even harder. Her lips were as sweet as ever, the taste was even more incredible. She laughed as I pressed her into the bed. "I'll make a believer out of you yet," I teased as I nibbled on her earlobe. I loved how her body arched against mine.

Just then there was a knock at the door. "Breakfast is ready Natsume-san," Tamaki called through the door.

"I'll be right down," Natsume called back. "Well you'll have to convince me later," she teased as she stroked my cheek.

I kissed her again. She felt incredible beneath me and I didn't want it to end. "Breakfast can wait."

"And so can you," she smirked as she pushed me back. "We have a whole week to ourselves. There's no rush."

I reluctantly backed off and she turned away to get dressed. Then we went down together, hand in hand. Tamaki was surprised to see me but pleased. Breakfast went well though Natsume had some explaining to do for not revealing that today was her birthday. "I didn't want everyone to make a big deal out of it," she said.

"But to deny us the pleasure of throwing you a party is very rude," Nekobaa said firmly, but I sensed she was teasing a little.

Natsume looked a little exasperated. "But Nekobaa-"

"Tut! Tut! I won't be swayed! You shall have your birthday celebration tonight."

"And she'll be very grateful too," I teased as I took Natsume's hand and winked.

She sighed in defeat and wore a wry smile. "Alright, you all win."

"How old are you today?" Tamaki asked.

"Twenty-four," she said as she took a bite of food. "So it's not like it's that special of an occasion."

"A birthday is a birthday and each one should be honored," Nekobaa said as she took a sip of tea. "Are there any customs or traditions you have on this special day?"

She quickly shook her head but I nodded. "I have the cultural part taken care of."

"What cultural part?" Natsume asked nervously.

"You'll find out tonight," I said coolly as I took a sip of tea.

"Unless I make you spill sooner than that," she said coyly as she ran her hand up my thigh, the gesture thankfully unseen by the others.

A thrill of pleasure ran up my spine but I caught her hand and smirked. "Nice try, but it won't work on me."

She smirked back. "Not yet anyway."

Oh what a vixen! But it's that sexy spirit of hers that entranced me from the start. "You'll just have to wait, just like everyone else." I said firmly.

Nekobaa insisted that I keep her out of the house until dinner time. So we spent the day outside. She tried all day to get me to spill the secret, pulling out all her tricks, but I remained steadfast. I know this will be a surprise she won't easily forget. She was pretty put out by my stubbornness but I wrapped my arm around her shoulder. "It'll be worth the wait…trust me."

Just then Denka came to retrieve us and we returned to see that Nekobaa had really gone all out. She and Tamaki had created a fantastic feast with all of Natsume's favorite foods. Natsume's cheeks were pink as she felt a little self-conscious. Still she seemed to enjoy herself. They even had presents prepared: Nekobaa gave her a kimono, Tamaki gave her some nail polish, and even the shinobi cats gave her catnip. Not like she needs any, but it's obvious that they meant well. Just as Nekobaa was about to cut up the large frosted cake, I stood up and called for everyone's attention. "There is a tradition in Kirigakure, a special song that is sung before the cake is cut."

Natsume's smile faltered as she grew apprehensive. I took her hand in mine and smiled warmly.

"Just as the tide ebbs and flows,

Here's what every child knows,

That life is full of blessings to seek,

The sum of which will make you unique,

So remember for days to come and for days that have passed,

Treasure the moments that forever will last."

The others were delighted but Natsume remained deathly silent. She slowly stood up and looked me right in the eye for several tense seconds. I held my ground, prepared for whatever response she had. After all this was a song that her parents used to sing to her when she was young, it probably stirred up some unpleasant memories. But just because her mother turned out to be a jerk doesn't mean that she has to hide from every reminder. I stared right back, straight-faced, but sweat trickled down the back of my neck. Then she suddenly hugged me tightly. "I've forgotten how much…I've missed that song," she whispered against my neck. "Thank you."

* * *

A/N Be sure to check out my deviant art page for art from this story...especially a new Itachi/Natsume one...


	41. Chapter 41: Crushing Reality

[Natsume's Point of View]

I stirred awake in Deidara's arms. His eyes remained closed as he snored softly. I smiled and kissed his nose. The corner of his mouth lifted in a smile as he snuggled closer. He didn't wake up though as evident by his continued snoring. I gently stroked his cheek as my heart swelled with love. It's been amazing to have him here this past week. I enjoyed everything from his quirky little smile to his tall tales that served only to boost his ego. He made me laugh, he made me swoon, and I've never been happier. Despite his age, he was very much the boy that won me over years ago. My heart ached at the prospect of him leaving…but I quickly changed my thoughts. I'm not going to waste time thinking about the inevitable. He's here right now…I can touch him, taste him, and feel his heart beat for me alone. I kissed his still lips tenderly. He groaned softly as he slowly kissed me back. "Now this is my kind of wake-up call," he chuckled as his arms wrapped around me.

"I love you Dei-Dei," I whispered into the corner of his mouth. "Please don't forget that."

"Now's not the time for goodbyes," he grumbled slightly. "I don't have to leave until tomorrow and I indeed to enjoy every minute I have left."

And that we did. After breakfast we spent the day walking around Sora-ku. It's a shame I'm not allowed to leave it; I'm beginning to get tired of this big empty city. I want to see wide-open spaces and feel the wind on my face without smelling the staleness of it. But it can't be helped, it is the way it is…for now anyway. All we did was talk, like the good old days. We even played the Question Game again, and it was interesting to see just how much has changed since those carefree days. We've both grown and matured so it makes sense. When he held me close, his lips close to mine; it reminded me of what was to come. A thrill of anticipation ran through me. We'll find a way to stay together…we just have to bid our time. It had been a fun day but soon it had come to an end. This was to be our last night together…for who knew how long.

That night we lay up on the roof, side by side and hand in hand as we gazed up at the stars. "This reminds me of the night before you left for Yamato," I said softly. "I remember worrying what would become of us…if our friendship would last…"

He grunted. "Back when the world was impossible for another reason," he teased as he rolled onto his side. "You stubbornly refused me, no matter what I did."

I grinned. "I'm not so easily won over, you know."

"Oh I do," he chuckled as he pulled me in for a kiss. "But I succeeded in the end. Though it really was just a matter of time. After all-"

"You're practically perfection itself," I finished for him.

"And don't you forget it!" He laughed and kissed me again. The kiss slowed down to gentle tastes making my heart leap into my throat as he leaned over me. "Oh how I wish that you'd marry me," he groaned softly with such amorous eyes.

I groaned in a non-romantic sense and rolled my eyes. "It's not going to happen so give it up already kid."

"I'm not giving anything up," he whispered as his fingertips massaged the back of my neck, causing it to naturally tilt back. "Most of all you," he whispered along my neck. "I'll wait for however long it takes…"

"I'll never get married," I gently challenged. It was hard to sound defiant when his lips wandered past my collarbone. I gasped with pleasure and my fingers grasped hold of his shirt. "You're only wasting your time," I said softly.

"It's not wasted time as long as it's spent with you." He reassured me.

My senses reeled under his now expert touch and I let his love over-whelm me. He's mine and I'm his. Matrimony wouldn't add anything to that. What we have is enough.

The next morning, my heart broke as we said good-bye. The week had ended much sooner than I would have liked. I didn't want him to go and I knew that he didn't either. He created a bouquet of clay flowers as a parting gift. I didn't really know what to make of it at first and my hesitance didn't go unnoticed.

"It's ok if you don't like it," he mumbled as his cheeks reddened.

Oh he looks adorable when he blushes. I giggled and kissed his nose. "I have to say I've never had anything like them before." He lowered his head shamefully but I lifted his chin and gave him a quick kiss. "They're beautiful," I reassured him. "And I'm sure no one else has ever received anything like it."

"You can be sure of that," he smiled at last as he kissed me back. Then he hugged me tightly. "I'll be back before you know it." He sounded firm but I detected a faint tremor in his voice. It sent a shiver down my spine. He was worried…afraid almost and I hugged him back. I wanted to ask him to stay…to run away…but I knew that he wouldn't…he couldn't…I sighed. "Don't worry," he reassured me. "Next time…I won't leave. I'll find a way out so we can be together. So please wait for me…no matter how long it takes."

"I will. I promise." I said as I squeezed him even more so. I was so happy to think that'd we be together soon. Really together! No more distance, no more waiting…

He squeaked. "Uh…N-Natsume? I…I…c-can't b-breathe…"

"Sorry about that," I said sheepishly as I let go. "It's just that," I blushed. "I'm really happy that…" my voice caught in my throat. It was hard to find words to express how I felt. "I…I love you so much…and well I-"

He smiled as he gently kissed my cheek. "You hopeless little romantic."

I smiled back and kissed him one last time. "I'm glad I'll only say this once more: goodbye Deidara."

"Goodbye Natsume," he whispered. Then with a wink he turned around and left. It still hurt to see him leave, but my heart felt lighter knowing that he was leaving for the last time. I can hardly wait for his return, but I will…I promised I would.

For the next month I tried to wait patiently. I reminded myself that it was bound to take longer than a month for him to successfully defect from Akatsuki. Still, it was hard not to get my hopes up and each morning I rose with optimism only to have those hopes crushed by sunset. He still sent letters and small gifts from time to time, reminders of his love, but they couldn't replace him. As flattering as they are, I'd much rather have him here instead.

I think the waiting started getting to me after awhile because I fell sick. For several weeks I was bed-ridden and unable to eat. Everything made me feel so sick. Nekobaa worried that I had relapsed and was baffled that her old cures had no effect. I found no relief and had constant nausea that made it nearly impossible for me to sleep. I felt so terrible and was nearly delirious from so many sleepless nights. Tamaki often sat at my bedside with a gentle smile, soothing words, and optimism that this would only be temporary.

I wore a tired side smile. "You're like Deidara…you have foolish optimism in the middle of a harsh reality."

"Surely you're not giving up?" She asked with concern.

I snorted softly. "I'm not going to die over this, no. But it's a giant pain in the butt."

"For someone who makes fun of such optimism, you sure seem to long for his company," Tamaki said as she wiped my forehead with a cool cloth.

I thought about that for a while. My eyelids started to grow heavy. "Maybe…it's because…I'm jealous of him. I wish…I were like that too…"

Then she left to me fall into a fitful rest. My groaning, aching stomach kept waking me up. I curled up on my side, hugging the pillow tightly. At one point during the night, I felt slight pressure on my arm. I awakened to see Itachi lying beside me, big surprise. How he gets in without me noticing never ceases to amaze and irritate me. He reached out to stroke my cheek. "I hear that you've been unwell," he said sympathetically.

I glared at him, ready to snap when I suddenly stopped. What was that? I gingerly sniffed the air again. A soft cinnamon fragrance, mixed with vanilla…where was it coming from? He leaned in closer, his brow knit with genuine concern. "Is something wrong?"

It was coming from him. I smiled and closed my eyes as his scent enveloped me. I never realized before how good he smelled. It was soothing and relaxing to my frazzled senses. I grabbed hold of his shirt and breathed in his rich scent. He stiffened at first. "What are you doing?" He asked warily.

I moaned softly, taking it in deeply. "You smell…_incredible_," I whispered. He was silent, probably because he didn't know what to say to that. Who would? But I focused solely on the rich scent that settled my nausea. I was…oh so tired…and as I drifted off to sleep his strong arms held me close. I fell into a very deep and peaceful sleep.

I later awakened to feel his hand gently massaging my spine. My nose was buried in his chest, my hands still grasping his shirt. I gasped and pulled back. "I'm sorry Uchiha-san! I didn't mean to-"

"Don't ruin the moment by apologizing for it," he murmured as he kissed me.

I gasped, surprised by his forwardness. But what did I expect? I had just spent the night pressed up against him. Of course he'd get the wrong idea by that. His lips tenderly tasted mine and it was every bit as intoxicating as it had been in my dreams. Even without his Sharingan I felt him ensnare my senses as they heightened at his gentle caress. I groaned in spite of myself. His kiss grew more eager as it ate away at my resistance. I reached up to loosen his hair tie and entrench my fingers in that angel soft hair. His scent, his taste, his touch…it felt so very good and was almost impossible to resist…but I must.

I firmly pushed him back. "No," I said resolutely. "I can't do this."

He sighed dejectedly, his handsome face looked disappointed. "So very close," he said almost to himself.

"You can't keep doing this," I said exasperatedly.

He held my chin and looked deep into my eye. "Why do you continue to resist? It's obvious that you're attracted to me." I swallowed nervously. I couldn't bring myself to speak. He smirked and tilted my chin to the side. I flinched as his lips ran along my jaw line and down my neck. "Then why do you still hesitate?" He whispered against my racing pulse.

"I said no and I mean it!" I said firmly as I sat up. My head reeled momentarily and I pressed a hand against my aching stomach. I groaned as I bent forward. "Ugh when am I going to feel better already?"

He sat up and gently rubbed my back. "What appears to be the trouble?"

I pushed his hand back. "Don't touch me," I said, my voice lacking the bite it usually has. I gasped as the nausea swelled inside me. I ran to the bathroom and immediately threw up into the toilet. Afterward I felt much better and sat back with my head against the wall. I frowned as his shadow fell over me as he stood in the doorway. "Why are you here anyway?" I grumbled softly.

"Nekobaa informed me of your condition," he said as he knelt beside me. "She's worried about you and so am I." I looked at him dubiously. "Do you really find that so unbelievable?"

"This coming from the guy who tried yet again to seduce me," I said dryly. "I don't know what to make of you sometimes."

"Oh don't pretend like you didn't enjoy yourself," he chuckled softly.

Normally I would have had some biting retort…but I grimaced as my stomach ached again. I took deep breaths as I tried to suppress the urge to vomit again. "What's…wrong with me?" I whimpered. Itachi was quiet for a moment. He gently reached out to wipe sweat from my brow. I looked at him, my bottom lip trembled. "I'm…scared…" I confessed.

"Of what?" He gently asked.

"How will I ever get better if I don't know what's wrong with me?"

"Is it the flu or something similar?" He asked.

I shook my head. "If it were it would have gone away by now." I sighed as I rubbed my tired eyes. "Though I guess I should be grateful that I didn't get sick when Deidara was here."

He frowned thoughtfully. "He was here? When?"

"Last month he came for a week," I explained with a faint smile at the pleasant memory.

"Last month..?" Itachi's voice trailed off meaningfully. Then he abruptly grabbed hold of my arms and turned me towards him. His Sharingan activated and I struggled a little fearfully. But he didn't look into my eyes…instead he stared at my stomach. He went very still with the atmosphere growing more intense by the second.

"What?" I asked in confusion.

He continued to stare silently as his expression saddened. Then he looked at me. "You're pregnant."

I blinked in complete shock and slowly shook my head back and forth. "That's…not…p-possible."

He narrowed his eyes shrewdly. "There is no mistaking it. I can see traces of Deidara-san's chakra concentrated in the womb."

"But that can't be!" I protested as I grabbed hold of his shirt. "That's impossible! I take bir-" Then I squeaked in horror as I realized something. When Itachi brought me here, he didn't bring any of my possessions. I haven't taken birth control since I left almost a year ago…so it's very possible that…

"No…" I said in a hushed tone as I let go of him. My hands fell limply onto my lap. My trembling fingers anxiously twisted the fabric of my nightgown. Pregnant? I'm pregnant? Is that..? Big fat tears welled up in my eyes and spilled down my cheeks. I was scared, upset, angry, and felt terribly vulnerable. Itachi pulled me into his arms and gently shushed me as I cried into his shoulder, soaking his shirt.

"Is it safe to assume…that this was unplanned?" He asked softly as he gently rubbed my back.

I nodded mutely. I couldn't find words to express the terror that threatened to choke me. Now I'm _really_ afraid! What am I going to do? Oh what am I going to do? And Deidara? What will he think? I was so wrapped up in my panic that I'd forgotten that I was bawling in Itachi's arms. I blushed and pulled back. "You don't need to-"

He pulled me back in. "There's a time to be strong and a time to be weak."

I sniffled slightly. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's ok to cry…and to feel fear," he said soothingly.

I cried, letting the tears flow freely down my face. He continued to hold me silently and gently rubbed my back as I expressed my dread, panic, sorrow, and devastation. His sensitivity was similar to Deidara's and while it wasn't what I preferred at the moment, it was a nice substitute. "H-have you ever…you know…cried…or were afraid?" I mumbled shyly as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Yes," he said in a voice barely above a whisper. "I have." That startled me so much that I stopped and stared at him. He looked a little exasperated as he tenderly tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "Really Natsume-san, I'm only human." I smiled a little at his joke and he smiled back as his fingertips gently traced my mouth. "Now that's the girl I know; fearless, defiant, and strong."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head wryly. "Don't bother flattering me at a time like this."

"It wasn't pure flattery," he said as he carefully helped me to my feet. "It has to be centered in truth to be effective." I leaned on his arm as he led me back to the bed. I sat down wearily, pressing a hand against my aching forehead. "Rest now," he instructed as he gently tucked me in. "I'll speak with Nekobaa and inform her of the situation…with your permission of course."

I looked out the window sadly. "Go ahead…it wouldn't stay secret for long anyway."

The door closed quietly behind him and I sighed miserably. Pregnant. I can't believe it. Dread washed over me as well as regret and shame. _I can't be a mother. I don't know the first thing about being a mother…other than how to become one_, I thought wryly, allowing myself to joke a little. But all joking aside the crushing reality remained. Now what am I going to do about it?


	42. Chapter 42: Intervention

[Natsume's Point of View]

Nekobaa and Tamaki were so caught up in their enthusiasm about the news to notice my lack thereof. I just smiled and played along as I choked back tears and they didn't suspect a thing. I'm good at playing the part expected of me; I should be after all these years. But in some ways it was rather sweet of them. It just showed how close we've become over the past year. Still it wasn't making me feel any better so I excused myself for the night. Nekobaa made me a special tea to help ease the nausea and I took it up to my room. I set the teacup on the nightstand and stripped off my clothes to change for bed. I paused for a moment and pressed a cautious hand against my abdomen. My stomach was flat so it still felt unreal. Was there really a life growing inside me?

I swallowed nervously and quickly pulled my nightgown on. I didn't want to think about it right now or it would keep me up all night. I drank the tea slowly and was pleased to feel the nausea subside. That's good. I was afraid for a second that I was going to need Itachi in order to sleep again. I curled up on my side and hugged the pillow close. The wind stirred through the open window, gently cooling my face in the middle of the summer heat. It felt so very peaceful and soothing to my troubled heart and I feel asleep soon afterward.

Then suddenly I woke up in the middle of the night. Feeling terribly thirsty I tiptoed out of my room to get a drink of water from the kitchen. Then I noticed the light on. That was strange, who else was up this late at night? I was surprised to see Itachi helping himself to a drink. He casually leaned back against the counter as he drank. He wore a loose pair of pants but nothing more, even his hair hung loose around his shoulders. I paused in the entryway, suddenly feeling shy. His dark eyes gazed at me over the rim of his cup but soon lowered indifferently. He said nothing as I poured myself a cup. In fact he acted like I wasn't even there. I suppose I should be grateful that he's keeping his hands to himself for once but the silence was beginning to annoy me. "What's wrong Uchiha-san? Cat got your tongue?"

Denka hissed in protest and I apologized. I didn't notice him before but I should have known better than to use a cat idiom. He found those very offensive and I guess that makes sense. He jumped onto the counter and sat beside Itachi who gently scratched behind his ear. Denka purred satisfactorily. "Why shouldn't he be upset?" Denka asked me flippantly. "After all someone has impregnated his territory."

I blinked in confusion. "Territory?"

"You," Denka said as he pointed his tail at me. His tone was a little impatient as if it should have been obvious.

"She's no such thing, now off with you." Itachi gently scolded him. Denka nodded and left without protest. It's obvious that he considers Itachi the alpha male here. It's weird but another cat thing I suppose. Itachi set his drink on the counter. "You'll have to forgive him. He doesn't understand that humans have a more singular and personal view on sexuality."

I blushed despite his delicate phrasing. It's true that cats are more promiscuous about it. Then I realized that Denka had said that Itachi was upset, is he really? Could it be because… "Does it bother you that I'm pregnant?"

"It downright sickens me," he growled softly.

"What?" I blurted out in surprise. I didn't expect him to be so blunt.

His expression hardened. "I don't like the idea of you carrying his child."

"And what? You wish it was yours?" I challenged as I got in his face.

He frowned down at me for a moment and then softened. Those usually cold ebony eyes were suddenly filled with such sadness. Something about this subtle vulnerability entranced me. He reached up to gently run his fingertips down my cheek. A slight smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as if he entertained the thought. But then it returned to a thin grim line as the light died out of his eyes. He was shutting himself away, just like I do. "No…" he whispered. "I do not." And with that he turned around and left the room. I frowned after him. That Uchiha doesn't make any sense. But I don't have the energy to try and figure him out. I just want to go back to bed.

Then next morning Nekobaa brought me a salty snack. "Eating something like this first thing in the morning will help with the nausea." And she was right. After I dressed for the day, I joined everyone for breakfast.

"So what will you do now?" Nekobaa asked curiously. "You're welcome to stay here for however long you want but I imagine you'd want to be close to family right now."

I hesitated for a moment. Yes I can see the wisdom in that and I've really missed Dad…but will he really want to see me like this? I nodded, deciding it was worth the risk. Despite the great company I've really grown tired of hiding in this secret city.

"I'll escort you then," Itachi said demurely as he drank his tea.

I bristled at this. "I don't see why you need to get involved."

"Tobi thinks you're dead remember?" Itachi asked with an arched eyebrow. "He must continue to think that."

"Ah," I said as I blushed like a fool. "I see."

"And so it's imperative that we leave as soon as you are well enough to," he said as his gaze returned to his plate.

"Not to rush you but you should consider doing so in the next few days," Nekobaa said kindly. "The further along you are the harder travel will be."

My stomach felt queasy at the thought of all the bother of travel but I nodded. "I'll need to send a message to Deidara first and-"

"No!" Itachi snapped.

This outburst startled us all, especially me. I stared at him open-mouthed. "What did you say?"

He rose slowly from his seat and towered over me. His coal-black eyes blazed with fire. "His involvement ends here."

I stood up and jabbed a finger in his chest. "That's not your call to make!"

He caught my hand and held it firmly. "His inconsideration and impulsiveness got you into the mess you're in right now," his tone was icy. "Because of him you now carry a child you did not wish for or even want."

"Oh Natsume," Tamaki said as tears sprang to her eyes. "Is that true?"

I ignored her question because I didn't have the heart to answer it. Besides I was a little preoccupied with Itachi's attitude. "It's none of your business, now is it? And I'm tired of you sticking your nose where it doesn't belong!" I succeeded in snatching my hand away. "So just stay out of my way. I don't need your help!"

I stormed out of the room. I don't know how he gets under my skin so easily. He doesn't matter and never has. He's just…well…I don't know. I wouldn't call him a friend, but he's not really my enemy either…He's…I sighed as I closed my bedroom door behind me. I slid down to sit and held my head in my hands. Tears of frustration spilled down my cheeks. I hate being so emotional but I was too over-whelmed with all these feelings. I'm so used to being in control but now it was spiraling away from me. This baby has changed all that. I pressed a hand against my stomach, my fingers trembled fearfully. How is it that something so tiny can cause so much chaos?

Just then there was a knock at the door. I knew that it couldn't be Itachi; he wouldn't bother with such formality. "May I come in?" Nekobaa asked kindly.

I couldn't refuse her so I stood up and let her in. I sat down on the bed and sniffled slightly. "Oh my dear," she said sympathetically as she pulled me in for a hug. It was a little strange but very comforting. I hugged her back. "Please don't be angry with Itachi. He's only-"

"I don't want to talk about him," I grumbled. "Not when there's…other things to worry about."

She patted my back reassuringly. "I know. Do you really not want this baby?"

Normally I would have considered this an impertinent question but she was far from the prying kind. She was only concerned about me. "No I don't…" I confessed as I pulled away to stare down at my hands. "Besides it deserves a better mother than me."

She wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "What makes you think you won't be a good one?"

I sighed. "My mother…well, she…wasn't the best example." I couldn't bring myself to explain more.

"I see," she said and part of me wondered if somehow she did. "But isn't that all the more reason to be who she wasn't?"

"I suppose so," I said doubtfully.

"And what about Deidara-kun?" She asked softly. "What do you think he'll say? Will he want the baby?"

I giggled softly. "Of course he will. He'll be absolutely thrilled. After all it's part of his impossible dream."

"And what dream is that?"

"The one where we get married, have a family, and all that other happily-ever-after crap." I couldn't help but laugh. "It's pretty ridiculous huh?" I started to laugh a little harder at the irony. So the kid got his wish after all…well part of it anyway. I wouldn't just marry him over this.

"Is it really though?" She asked softly, which made me stop.

"What? Are you suggesting that I marry him?" I asked in surprise.

"I can't make that decision for you but I see nothing wrong with such a worthy dream." I fell silent at her gentle rebuke. She patted my hand. "Why don't you get some rest? Itachi wishes to set out tomorrow."

"But that's too soon!" I protested. "I won't have time to pack and-"

"Tamaki and I will send your things when you get settled," she smiled and kissed my forehead. "I will miss you, my dear. It's been a pleasure to have you here."

I wore a small grateful smile. "Thank you Nekobaa, you've done so much for me. Even though I was just a stranger."

"Think nothing of it," she said as she rose. "I do hope you will keep in touch, discreetly of course."

I nodded with a bigger smile. "I would like that."

She closed the door behind me and I lay down to get some rest. That night Nekobaa and Tamaki threw a little going-away party for me which was really sweet of them. Itachi was there but distant and brooding. That was fine by me. The next morning I packed a small knapsack and said my last good-byes. Itachi waited for me outside, his expression cold and stony. He curtly asked where we were going and when I told him, he turned on his heel and set off at shinobi running speed.

"I can't run that fast, you idiot!" I yelled after him.

Then suddenly he reappeared behind me, scooped me up in his arms and set off again. "Very well then, I'll have to carry you."

I blushed and lowered my gaze. I wasn't happy about it but there was no helping it. Itachi was silent for a long time and so was I. The scenery rushed past us. It all blended together which left me feeling dizzy so I closed my eyes and rested my head against his chest. I could hear his heart beat faster due to the exertion and it surprised me in a way. Sometimes he's so bizarre that I forget that he's human too.

"I wasn't not trying to interfere," he said softly in an apologetic tone. He looked down at me sadly. "I was only trying to protect you."

I frowned slightly. "Why do you bother?"

He smirked gently. "Do I need to have a reason?"

"It'd make me feel a little better," I grumbled slightly.

He was silent for a moment and I figured he wasn't going to answer. Then he suddenly spoke. "You remind me of a girl I once knew."

I made a face. "So I'm just a replacement then?"

"Of course not, for one thing she absolutely adored me."

I smirked. "Unlike me."

"Yes, unlike you. Unfortunately. But she did have the same independent spirit that you have. It's…something I haven't seen in a long time." He said nothing more but his pensive expression spoke volumes. Whoever this girl was…was no longer in his life. And it was obvious that he had cared for her very much. To be deprived of that kind of love was heart-breaking.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

He looked amused. "Do you pity me Natsume-san?"

Just then the piercing cry of a crow split the air. He immediately stopped and looked up. It flew right at us and I cried out in fear as I worried that it was going to attack us. But instead it landed lightly on his shoulder and I noticed that it had Sharingan eyes. Animals can have it too? The Shinobi world will never cease to amaze me. Itachi's face went deathly pale as he stared at it. It was almost like they were communicating telepathically or something. His head jerked towards the west when it faded away. His cool composure was destroyed and he looked absolutely devastated. It scared me to death.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "What happened?"

"My brother is fighting Deidara-san," he said in a hushed tone. "He'll be killed…"

"Not Deidara!" I cried out.

He shook his head slowly, his eyes still fixed on the horizon. "No, not him. Deidara-san has the advantage in this fight."

I paused for a moment as I considered him curiously. "Are you worried…about Sasuke-kun?"

"Of course I am," he said, simply. "He's my little brother."

I frowned. "But you hate him!"

"No I don't," He gently contradicted as he looked down at me. "You said before that you met Sasuke, so I imagine he's told you what I did." I nodded mutely. "I won't deny that I was cruel to him but that was to make him stronger. He had to be in order to survive on his own. And now he has found purpose in his life and will avenge the clan and restore honor through my death."

He didn't seem to be worried about that, in fact, it sounded like he meant for it to happen. I stared in wonder. "You're going to let him kill you, aren't you?"

He nodded. "Then I will pay the price for my sin."

His expression was calm but his voice trembled with regret. The haunted look in his eyes reminded me of the first time I saw through his emotional mask. _I am someone very much like you. Who tries daily to rise above the horror of the past; wanting desperately to deny it but will forever be changed by it. _This was not a man who was not proud of what he had done. "You didn't want to kill them…did you?" I whispered.

"No I didn't." He confessed softly.

"Then why-?"

"It doesn't matter. The politics of Konoha don't concern you."

"Don't give me that crap!" I snapped. "I want to know what happened!"

"Why?" He asked with a frown. "What difference does it make to you?"

"I want to see you for who you really are," I said firmly as my heart pounded nervously in my ears.

He considered this for a moment and then finally spoke. "Do you swear to speak of this to no one?" I nodded eagerly and he continued. "My clan was planning to overthrow the village. Even if they succeeded, Konoha's allies would have intervened and a fourth Shinobi War would have started. I accepted the mission for the greater good and because Sasuke's safety was guaranteed if I did."

Incredible…truly unbelievable…but his tone was serious and his expression sincere. If he was telling the truth, he saved his village…at the expense of his own honor. I can't even imagine how that must feel. Part of me worried that he was lying but for some reason I believed him. And if that was all true...then it shattered _everything _I thought I knew about him.

"I have to stop this fight without getting directly involved," Itachi interrupted my thoughts. "Sasuke has to survive; he must win."

"But you can't let Deidara die!" I gasped as I grabbed hold of his shirt. "Please Uchiha-san," I pleaded. "Let me talk to him. I'll get him to back down."

He frowned darkly. "I can't let you, Tobi will be there and you'll be spotted."

The ground trembled like an earthquake and his temper crumbled as he worriedly stared up ahead. I could feel his very nerve tense and tremble with anticipation as he desperately wanted to help his brother. "But you can't leave me behind either," I reminded him softly. He nodded reluctantly and my heart went out to him. "Then let's go together. He needs you and Deidara needs me. We can stop them both."

"It's too risky," he protested as this time his worry was directed at me.

I cupped his face in my hands. "It will be worth it. I promise."

Again he hesitated but then the ground shook more violently. He took off at the speed of light. "You had better be right or I'll never forgive myself," he muttered.

"Don't worry about it," I assured him. A strange feeling came over me. Despite the odds against us I'm confident that we'll prevail. Or is it because I'm desperate to see Deidara again at all costs? As we got closer, the ground trembled more frequently and Deidara's art became visible. It was incredible to watch what looked like a dragon soar through the skies. It was truly art in motion.

At a safe distance he put me down and pulled off his Akatsuki robe. "Wear this and stay close to me until I give the word."

I wasn't very interested in wearing his sweaty robe but now wasn't the time for argument. Maybe Tobi would think I was Deidara and leave me alone. I quickly pulled it on and felt ridiculous in how big it was on me. He straightened the collar and then reached up to cup my face in his strong hands. "I may never see you again Natsume-san," he said softly. Normally that declaration would have pleased me, but now I didn't want him to leave. Especially now when I realized that he wasn't such a bad guy after all. Yes he was a pervert but he stopped whenever I asked and never again forced himself on me when he very well could have. He protected me, saved my life countless times, and saw to it that I was cared for in Sora-ku. And how did I repay him? Through sarcasm, anger, and hatred. This isn't how I wanted to leave things between us. "Be happy…be safe." He said as he kissed my forehead.

I caught hold of his shirt to keep him from pulling away. "Uchiha-san…thank you."

"If you're really grateful you should show it instead," He gently teased.

Then I surprised him when I pulled him in for a kiss. I didn't do it because I love him or because I owed him, but because I wanted him to know that I was sorry for being an ungrateful jerk. That probably doesn't make any sense but he seemed to understand. His kiss in turn was gentle and chaste and I appreciated that. "Thank you," I repeated when I broke the kiss. He smiled warmly as he stroked my cheek. He looked very different when he smiled genuinely.

Then the ground shook so terribly that I lost my footing. He caught hold of me and we hurried into the cover of the forest. We crawled through the underbrush, his movements were fluid and soundless but I made all kinds of noise. I don't have shinobi stealth but thankfully it didn't attract attention. We soon heard Deidara's triumphant voice overhead and followed after it. Then I was startled by the sound of branches snapping and leaves flying through the air. I looked up to see a blonde-haired figure falling from the sky. It was Deidara! We hurried to get closer and heard his ragged laughter that bordered on hysterical relief. "My art wins!"

Then I saw him. He looked the worst for wear; cut up, bleeding, and drenched in sweat. Then suddenly Sasuke appeared behind him. His fist slammed into Deidara's face and sent him flying. "Now!" Itachi's voice whispered behind me as he headed towards Sasuke.

I broke through the cover of the bush and hurried towards Deidara. He lay on his back, groaning softly. It hurt to see him looking so battered and bruised. And here Itachi was worried about Sasuke's well-being? It looks like he was more than capable of taking care of himself. Still the sight of Deidara in such pain left me speechless. I started to run now and reached out towards him.

Then he suddenly jumped to his feet. "Die already you stinkin' brat, hm!" He screamed as he hurled several explosives in my direction.

I panicked and tripped in my effort to retreat. I scrambled backward but it was too late to avoid them now. They bore down on all sides with frightening speed and crackled with lethal energy. "Don't Deidara!" I cried out but it was too late. Only in the light of the initial burst of detonation did he realize his mistake. I saw his eyes widen in absolute horror just before all was swallowed up in the destructive power of his jutsu.


	43. Chapter 43: The Burning Secret

[Deidara's Point of View]

Oh what have I done? I cursed aloud as I charged towards her with a miraculous burst of adrenaline. I won't lose her this way! The intense heat of the initial explosion singed the hair on my arms, stinging my skin. I ignored the pain as I pulled her into my arms and we rolled to safety. The rest of the explosion shook the ground and a rush of hot air swept over us. Had I been a few seconds slower we both would have been goners.

The adrenaline was short-lived and my exhaustion returned. I lay on the soft grass with her in my arms. She was unconscious but was still in one piece. "Natsume? Are you alright?" I asked as I gently shook her. She groaned softly but didn't awaken. I kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry, so very sorry. I would never forgive myself if I'd killed you."

"Neither would I," a familiar voice growled softly. I looked up to see Itachi standing over us with an angry look on his face. "You really are an idiot."

I glared at him. "What are you doing here?" I looked around. Where was Sasuke? Then I noticed him off a ways with a vacant look in his eyes. Itachi must have used Tsukuyomi on his own brother. I wonder why.

"There's no time for explanations!" He said as he yanked me to my feet. "You have to make a choice. Are you loyal to Akatsuki or to Natsume-san?"

"Her of course!" I scowled as I pulled away.

"Then finish it," he said seriously. "Fake your death and run away with her to Shimizu." I blinked in surprise. Was he seriously suggesting I defect _right now?_ I've been carefully planning it for weeks now, so naturally I doubted I could do it so easily now. And why was Itachi trying to help me? Why was Natsume here and not in Sora-ku? I groaned as I pressed a hand against my aching forehead. Forget it, I'm too tired to ask any more questions, let alone try to make any sense out of this. Itachi's temper seemed to lessen a little. "There will be no better time…and…she needs you now." He reluctantly admitted as he looked down at her as she lay supinely on the ground. He looked resigned but a little sad at the same time.

I frowned. "Why are you doing this?" It wasn't like him to be so helpful. In fact he usually went out of his way to stay away from everyone else.

He sighed as his gaze remained on Natsume. "I'm not doing it for you." The unspoken implication being that he was doing this for her. My frown deepened as my hands curled into fists. I don't like that and was about to tell him so when he looked me in the eye again. "Do it. End it with a bang."

I smirked at this and nodded. I'll leave my mark on the world and all will remember my name. I summoned a clone and sent it over to where Sasuke was. He will die by my ultimate art but first we had to get out of the blast radius. I gathered Natsume in my arms and took off running. I didn't look back to see what Itachi did but I no longer cared. Natsume is all that matters. She moaned softly as her head rested against my chest. Once we were a safe distance I signaled to the clone to activate the C0 jutsu and the brightness of the explosion rivaled that of the sun. I grinned from ear to ear with pride. That would have been a spectacular way to die. Then I looked down at Natsume and kissed her forehead. But it was much better to live for her sake. I hated to admit it but I probably would have been a goner if Itachi hadn't intervened. Sasuke was far stronger than I had originally thought. Those cursed Uchiha are too talented for their own good. Hopefully I took Itachi out at the same time. It would be so satisfying to take out both brats at the same time. Though it was a shame to kill Tobi off. He didn't turn out to be so bad after all.

Still I had to put such cares behind me. I have nothing to do with Akatsuki now and it felt so liberating. I turned east and set course for Shimizu. I stayed off the main road to avoid being seen but later took a slight detour at some farm and stole a few changes of clothes for me. Naturally I destroyed my old ones; all trace of me had to disappear if it were to fool Akatsuki. I then noticed that she was wearing Itachi's Akatsuki robe and I destroyed that too. Not to remove evidence but because I don't like her wearing something of his. That didn't sit well with me at all.

When I was thoroughly disguised, I risked going into town that night to find a hotel. I found the most inconspicuous one and when I paid I requested that dinner be delivered to our room. Once inside I gently lay her down on the bed and went to the bathroom to bathe. I scrubbed away the dirt, blood, and grime off my sore skin; wincing the entire time. But there was no helping that, it had to be done. I was in the middle of drying off my hair when I heard Natsume stir awake. I quickly wrapped the towel around my waist and hurried out of the room.

She sat up and rubbed her eyes sleepily. She looked even more adorable, sleep seems to soften her beautiful features. I approached her with a broad smile and she seemed confused at first. "Dei-Dei?"

I nodded as I sat down beside her. She frowned slightly. "Am I dreaming?"

"You tell me," I chuckled as I pulled her in for a kiss. She stiffened at first but soon she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me back. Those soft full lips tasted even better than I remembered. Oh how I've missed this; her touch, her taste, her smell. I'll never get enough of it. Then suddenly she shoved me off the bed and I hit the floor hard. "That's for almost killing me!" She growled at me as her golden eye narrowed murderously.

"I'm sorry about that, I really am," I assured her as I stood up and held my hands out defensively. "It was a mistake. I was in the middle of a battle if you recall."

She nodded as her temper started to fade. I stood before her with my arms folded across my chest. "What were you and Itachi doing there? Why were you two together?"

"We were going on a picnic," she said sarcastically. "C'mon Dei-Dei, what do you think happened?"

"I don't think anything," I said seriously. "That's why I'm asking."

She lowered her gaze as she rested her hands on her lap. She was quiet for a while and then spoke. "I want to go home. I miss my Dad and Chieko. Uchiha-san was escorting me there so that my would-be killer would still think I'm dead."

I observed how she rung the hem of her dress. She only did that when she was nervous. What was there to be nervous about? Naturally she missed her family and the idea of an escort made sense too…and yet I sensed that she was holding something back. "What's really bothering you?" I asked gently.

It hurt that she wouldn't look me in the eye. I lifted her chin to kiss her. "Please don't hide things from me. Don't you trust me?" I whispered against her lips.

She blushed slightly. "I do…it's just that-"

Just then there was a knock at the door. I groaned as I stepped back. "That will be dinner. Why don't you answer the door and I'll finish getting dressed." I returned to the bathroom. When I came out she was sitting at the table eating quietly. I sat across from her and lifted the cover from my plate. Warm steam billowed into my face with a mouth-watering aroma. This was gonna be so good! And just the thing after a long journey. I just about shoveled the food into my mouth, forgetting my manners for a moment. It's not like Akatsuki prides itself on its etiquette. Natsume didn't really notice, she seemed pretty preoccupied. "Are you going to tell me what's bothering you or not?" I grumbled.

"Not," she said simply. I knew better than to force it out of her, even though I really wanted to.

I sighed in resignation. "Fine, then will you tell me when you're ready?"

I expected her to tell me to mind my own business but instead she nodded with a small half-hearted smile. "I will," she said softly.

I felt a little better after that. At least she'll tell me eventually. That's progress…in a way. Still I can't imagine why she'd suddenly be so secretive and homesick all of a sudden. After all we've only been apart for a month. How much can change in a month? When it was time to turn in for the night I snuggled close. "I love you," I said with a kiss.

To my surprise her golden eye glistened with tears as she tenderly stroked my cheek. "I know," she whispered. "I love you too."

Now I was really worried. "Natsume please tell me what's wrong," I pleaded. "I want to help."

"There's nothing you can do," she said. Then she gave me a quick kiss and rolled over to sleep. "Goodnight Deidara." She said in a tone that closed the matter. And that was that.

* * *

[Natsume's Point of View]

I'm such a coward and I'm ashamed of myself. Even after traveling for an entire month, Deidara still has no idea what's going on. He thinks I have the flu or something. He's so naïve. I feel bad making him worry so much about me. I know there's no sense in delaying the inevitable but whenever I saw his worried face it reminded me of how young he really is. He's not ready to be a Dad, just like I'm not ready to be a Mom. Then things got worse when I started refusing his sexual advances. I just felt too guilty from keeping the secret. And besides how could I enjoy it when it's what got me into this mess in the first place? The first few times he figured I was too tired or sick or something. But after a while it was obvious that none of my excuses were genuine. This put an obvious strain on our relationship and he was hurt by my refusal. After another failed attempt he angrily punched his fist through the headboard. I cringed underneath him and waited for him to yell at me. But instead he looked devastated. "What have I done wrong Natsume? Hm? Just tell me and I'll fix it!"

Tears came to my eyes. He was so innocent and good at heart. Even in the heat of frustration and anger…he didn't blame me. He should have though since it was my fault. I tried to swallow the lump that had hardened in my throat. "It's not your fault Dei-Dei." I said in a shaky tone.

"But it has to be!" He insisted desperately. "There's no other explanation!" He climbed out of bed and pulled his shirt on. He sighed and looked at me over his shoulder. His beautiful blue eyes were filled with such pain that it made my heart ache. "You don't have to be with me if you don't want to. I can leave you in Shimizu and would never bother you again if that's what you wanted. Don't…force yourself to stay with me."

My heart jumped into my throat and I reached out towards him. "It's not like that!"

He didn't look too convinced and I honestly didn't blame him. He turned away to pull on his travel cloak and left the room. I cried into my pillow and cursed myself for being so stupid. It's not like it changed anything. I'm still pregnant and there's nothing I can do about it. The secret was burning on my lips and yet I contained the fire. But it was beginning to eat me up inside. I can't live like this anymore and Deidara deserves to know the truth even if he's not ready for it. Steeling my nerves; I wiped my tears away, got out of bed and ran outside. "Dei!" I cried out as I raised my hood. "Dei where are you?" I ran up and down the streets and searched desperately. I had to find him and explain why it wasn't his fault. Other than telling him the truth I wanted to let him know how important he is to me. He has to know how much I need him…especially now. But he was nowhere to be found and I had looked everywhere. I panicked as I wondered if he had just left town, never to return. He wouldn't! Would he? But I had to admit that if I were him I would. I've been such a moody selfish jerk and I don't blame him for not wanting to put up with that. I reluctantly gave up and returned to our room. I sat down on the bed and cried again as I felt sorry for myself. How could I screw things up so badly? Instinctively my hand rested against my stomach. I've done that a lot lately and I wonder why. I assessed my feelings. Was I angry at the baby? No…but I felt powerless. I'm usually so sure of myself and what I want…but for the first time I was at a loss. What should I do now? A baby is a responsibility I never planned on having. I didn't want to have kids…ever. To be pregnant felt like a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from.

Just then a strong pair of arms wrapped around my shoulders and hugged me from behind. I recognized his scent and his warmth anywhere and I smiled. "Dei-Dei," I whispered with relief. I turned around and hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry," I sniffled into his shirt. "Please forgive me. I don't want you to leave. I really don't."

"Then please tell me what's been bothering you," he said softly. "I hate to see you suffer like this. You don't have to, you've got me."

I took a deep breath to summon my remaining courage. "I'm pregnant."

"You are?" He asked in surprise and I was afraid to look into his eyes. What shock there must be in those sexy sapphire eyes? But instead I was the one who was surprised. He whooped for joy as he stood up and spun me around in his arms. I held on tightly as my stomach lurched nauseously but he was laughing for joy. "Put me down!" I begged and he immediately did so.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier? This is the best news ever!" He grinned from ear to ear.

"You're…happy about this?" I asked like an idiot. I knew in theory that he probably would be but he was positively beaming.

"Are you kidding?" He laughed at my surprise. "It's all I've ever wanted."

"Which is what?" I asked softly.

"To have a family with you one day." He kissed me gently. "I love you Natsume. I always have." His kisses then grew longer. "From that first moment…I've loved you." He then kissed me so passionately that it sent a thrill throughout my entire body and left my toes tingling with pleasure. I pressed into him, longing to feel that closeness that I've been denying us this whole time. He pulled me down beside him and I relished his sweet kisses and tender touch. I sighed with pleasure as I melted in his arms; his passion soothed my troubled soul as we become one. I was overwhelmed with gratitude and appreciation. When did this boy become a man? How did this annoying brat become my ardent and sensitive lover? It had happened so gradually and the connection between us felt so natural that part of me wondered if this really had been meant to be. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

"Thank you," I whispered as I kissed him. My cheeks glistened with new tears.

"No more tears," he said as he wiped them away. "There's no need to be sad anymore."

I cracked a side smile as I stroked his cheek in turn. The hour was very late now and we soon drifted off to sleep.

The next morning my heart felt lighter than it had in so long. And even better, we'll be in Shimizu tomorrow. I can't wait to see Dad, Chieko, and my new half-sibling. He or she had to be at least a year old now. Deidara insisted on packing for me and I refused. After all, I didn't want him to think that I needed him to do this for me. "But I want to do this for you," he insisted as he pulled out a chair for me. "Please, I want to help."

So I agreed to stay put for his sake and watched him pack. "So I was thinking," he continued on. "You know, about some names for the baby-"

"Now stop right there!" I said firmly. "I haven't even decided if I want to keep it yet."

He stopped and stared at me. "What do you mean? Of course we'll keep it!"

I shook my head stubbornly and again my hand rested against my stomach involuntarily. He frowned as he left the knapsacks on the floor. "That's not a decision you can make alone," he said seriously. "This baby is mine too."

I blushed and lowered my gaze. Again I was being selfish. Of course he has every right to have a say in this too. We were both silent for a moment and the tension in the room was suffocating. "Do you not want this baby?" He asked. His tone was sensitive but I also heard the secret longing in his voice. He already loved this baby, even to be thinking of names already. I envied that so much. Why didn't I feel the same way?

I sighed. "I don't know…" I confessed.

"Is it because you're worried that you'll be like your Mom?" I nodded mutely, embarrassed to be so childish. He knelt down before me and took my hands in his strong ones. His eyes shone with such love. "You're so incredibly amazing. You can do this; I believe in you."

"You really think so?" I asked with a faint blush.

He smiled as he leaned in to give me a sweet kiss. "I really do. I wouldn't settle for less than the best when it comes to the mother of my child." He then hugged me close. "So what do you say? Are we in this together?" I nodded as I hugged him back. "Good," he said satisfactorily. "Then let's head out."


	44. Chapter 44: One Big Happy Family

[Natsume's Point of View]

It felt unreal to be back in Shimizu. I've changed and gone through so much…and yet it seemed like nothing has changed here. Everything was still the same from the cobblestone roads to the red-tinted roof tops. I stopped and stared at all the familiar sights. Deidara's hand slipped into mine and squeezed it reassuringly. He gently smirked as if he too treasured the memories we'd made here. After all, it was here where we became best friends. Shimizu has always been special to me, but even more so now that Deidara was a part of it.

I smiled back and we continued on. We passed people in the streets, several that I knew, but we spoke to no one. With dusty travel cloaks and hoods raised, we had to blend in. When my Dad's villa was in sight, Deidara caught me by the arm. "Wait Natsume," he whispered in my ear. "Go on without me."

"What? Why?" I asked worriedly as I started to panic. Surely he wasn't going to leave me now!

His gentle smile reassured me. "This moment belongs to you and your Dad; you should take advantage of that."

"And tell him I'm pregnant?"

"And bond with him," he emphasized. "It's been three and a half years since you've seen him so go have your fun. Reality can catch up later." He kissed my cheek in farewell. "Leave your window open tonight."

I smiled and nodded. I turned towards the house and he faded into the bustling crowd. In the shadow of the villa's entrance I risked removing my hood and knocked on the door. The door opened and I was surprised to see Chieko. Normally it was the house-keepers duty to answer the door so I had assumed the new housekeep would have taken over the role. She cried out for joy and hugged me tightly. I laughed along with her and hugged her back.

"It's so good to see you!" Chieko said as she led me inside. "Why haven't you written for so long? Your Dad's been beside himself with worry, me too of course, but it's so good to see you!"

I smiled at her rush of words; I've missed that. "I've missed you too. Where's Dad?"

"He's in town for the day, working at his new pottery shop. He'll be back for lunch."

That surprised me. "What about the old one in Iwagakure?" Dad had been very attached to that dinky little shop.

"He sold it to Tamotsu-san when we moved here. They're now business partners." That didn't surprise me either, they're such great friends. "Would you like to meet your little brother? I'm about to wake Taizo from his nap."

I nodded and followed her. There was an extra bounce to her step, a twinkle in her eye; she practically radiated visible happiness. I smiled secretly. I'm happy for her; she deserves someone like Dad just like he's deserved someone like her. They compliment each other very well. I wonder if the same could be said of Deidara and me.

I could hear Taizo crying softly through the door just before she opened it. The toddler's grumpy face burst into a toothy ear to ear grin when he saw his mother. He grabbed hold of the bars to pull himself up to stand and eagerly reached out for her. He was about the cutest little baby I've ever seen. He looked like Dad with Chieko's hair and slightly tanned skin.

"How's Momma's big boy?" She cooed as she picked him up and kissed him on the nose. He squealed with joy as he swatted at her turquoise curls and called her Mama over and over. It melted my heart to see his adoration and I wonder if my baby will ever feel that way about me. She turned towards me and looked at me curiously for a moment. Then she smiled knowingly. "You're expecting as well." It wasn't a question. It was a statement.

I panicked. "Am I showing already?"

She shook her head and pointed down at my stomach. My hand was resting against it again. Where is that habit coming from? I blushed and let my hand fall to my side. "I did the same thing when I was pregnant with Taizo," she said as she approached me. "Congratulations, Kazuhiko-san must be proud."

I flinched; of course they'd assume it was his. I stopped writing after I left with Deidara. I was worried about Akatsuki tracking my letters. "It's not his," I confessed. "I haven't seen him for a year."

"Oh?" She asked curiously, thankfully not accusingly.

"It's Deidara's," I whispered in her ear.

Her eyes widened in shock before her expression crumbled sympathetically. "Did he know before his death?"

"Oh he's not dead," I reassured her. "He faked it so he could defect from Akatsuki. He's here in Shimizu."

It took her a moment to process all of this. "Then why isn't he with you now?"

"He wanted to give us time together before he shows up. I think he's worried that he won't be accepted because of what he's done." She still looked confused and I sighed. "It's a long story…longer than I feel like sharing right now."

She nodded in an understanding way. "How far along are you?" She asked kindly.

I blushed again. "I don't really know. I've only known for a month."

"Follow me," she instructed as she walked out of the room and handed Taizo off to a nursemaid with instructions to give him lunch. She then led me to my old room and I was happy to see that nothing had changed here either. "I'll call for my midwife, she'll be able to determine the progress as well as answer any questions you may have. And you don't have to worry about her telling anyone, she is discretion itself."

I nodded. "Thank you Chieko."

She smiled and leaned forward to kiss my forehead. "I'm happy for you. I know how much you liked him." I blushed and her smile grew wider. "Get some sleep and I'll come back in two hours with the midwife."

I was about to protest, insisting that I didn't need sleep, but a yawn escaped. Ok, maybe I'm a little tired. So I nodded and lay back. She closed the door quietly behind her and I enjoyed the warm breeze that came through the open window. I smiled as I savored its rich salty scent. I've forgotten how much I missed it. Shimizu had always been a retreat, an escape from the grimy city of Iwagakure. My hand rested against my stomach as I wondered if this place would still be safe once Dad learns what happened.

Despite my worry I still fell into a deep sleep. Chieko wakened me with a gentle shake of the shoulder. I blinked in confusion at first but then remembered and sat up. The mid-wife was a petite woman with navy hair that was piled on top of her head. Her smile was soothing, her words reassuring, and her hands moved expertly across my flat abdomen. Chieko remained by my side the entire time and squeezed my hand reassuringly. When the mid-wife finished her examination she explained that I was two months along and assured me that it was developing normally. I just nodded at the appropriate times, still not trusting myself to speak. I'm still really nervous, this is still so new to me. She gave me her card. "Please feel free to call me day or night if you have any further questions. And congratulations again, my dear."

Chieko thanked her and saw her to the door before turning back towards me. "You don't seem very happy," she observed.

"What's Dad going to say when I tell him that I'm carrying Deidara's child? How will he see past the wanted poster?"

"I see what you mean," she said sympathetically as she sat down beside me. "I don't know what he'll say either." She rested a hand on mine and smiled. "But you're an adult now Natsume. If you're truly happy with your life, then you don't need his approval or disapproval."

I nodded. "I know."

"And are you happy with your life?" She asked hopefully. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

Her question caught me off guard though it was perfectly natural for her to ask. When I left…I had been a very different person then; insecure, hurt, lonely, and looking for a fresh start. I looked out the window at the gently rolling waves as I allowed the memories of that hard time to wash over me. "When I left, I only meant to escape the memories of Deidara that haunted me. Anywhere seemed preferable to Iwagakure." She listened intently and silently. "I had a lot of time to think about what I wanted and who I wanted to be. It wasn't easy, but I finally found the courage to be who I should have been all along."

She smiled proudly. "I'm very happy for you."

"Now where's that sexy wife of mine?" Dad called out playfully from down the hall.

She looked pleased but blushed modestly because I was there. "Come and say hello," she said as she helped me up. "Don't worry about telling him about the baby yet. Just get reacquainted first."

I nodded and followed her out into the hallway. Dad smiled warmly at Chieko, his eyes twinkled affectionately. He's much happier now that I've seen him in a long time. Then he saw me and just stared. I wasn't sure what to make of that; I had been expecting a different reaction. Then he charged towards me, picked me up, and swung me around like a child. He laughed. "You're back! FINALLY!" Then he gave me a big bear hug that took my breath away. "Welcome home Natsume."

"Thanks Dad," I grinned as I hugged him back.

"Through with adventures then huh?" He winked as he set me down.

I shrugged. "That remains to be seen. So Chieko told me that you have a new shop in Shimizu."

He nodded. "Would you like to see it?"

"Maybe later," I said. I didn't want to have to explain why I couldn't be seen in town just yet. "I could really use some lunch."

"Of course," he said as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and steered me towards the dining room. "So did you come alone or did you bring Kazuhiko-san? I've been waiting to see my future son-in-law."

"They're not together anymore," Chieko whispered by his side.

"We never were," I corrected further. "He was just my friend and manager. That's all it ever was."

He groaned as he snapped his fingers. "So close and yet so far."

"Close to what?" I asked in confusion.

"To seeing you married and settled down already. I want to see my grandchildren before I die, you know."

Chieko hid a secret smile behind her hand and I smirked. "It'll happen before you know it Dad. And besides it's not like you're elderly yet anyway."

We had a great lunch with some of Shimizu's prized fruits and sweet juicy meat. We caught up on old news (everything that didn't involve Deidara of course). Dad told me about his business with the store and his involvement in the vineyard now. I told him about my art and shared some stories from my travels. Chieko listened and served…or rather tried to. Dad caught her hand and pulled her onto his lap. "You're not the housekeeper anymore remember? Let her do her job and you stay here with me." He kissed her gently and I smiled at the sight. It's sweet to see their love. Taizo soon joined us and walked around the room on his wobbly little legs.

"How old is he now?" I asked as he tugged on my sleeve.

"Fifteen months," he said. "So what do you think of your little brother?"

"He's pretty cute," I said as I ruffled his hair playfully.

He giggled and held his hands up. "Up! Up!" He cooed. I picked him up and sat him on my lap. To my surprise he hugged me and rested his head against my chest. "Sissy," he said softly.

I looked up in surprise. "He knows I'm his sister?"

Dad grinned. "Of course he does. We've got pictures remember? He knows all about you."

I looked down at this little boy and stroked his soft curls. He was such a little sweetie. I smiled with pride. Growing up I had wished for a little brother or sister to play with. Obviously it wouldn't be the same with such an age gap but it'd still be fun. Suddenly my lap felt warm and wet. I quickly picked him up and yelped. "Gaw! He just peed on me!"

"My apologies miss!" The nursemaid said quickly as she took him from me. "I'll change him right away." I stood up and quickly wiped my lap with several napkins.

Dad laughed at my expression. "Oh come now Natsume, don't be so dramatic. A little urine is no big deal."

I stuck my tongue out at him and thankfully Chieko came to my defense. "Why don't you change and meet us in the courtyard for dessert?"

I nodded and left to get changed. We spent the rest of the day out in the courtyard playing some games with Taizo and talked some more. It was like we were one big happy family and it felt really nice. Just before going to bed I opened the window. "Dei-Dei?" I whispered as I looked around. "You there?" All was silent and I enjoyed the warm breeze that blew my hair back. The moon was round and full, shedding its soft blue light on the ocean below. The sound of the waves crashed lightly against the shore. It was a beautiful sight.

I gasped when a pair of arms slipped around me from behind. "You scared me!" I said as I looked at Deidara over my shoulder. "How did you get in without me seeing?"

"Because I'm sexily sneaky that way," he smirked as he kissed the back of my neck. "It's a shame you're already dressed for bed. I was hoping to help you with that."

"You can be such a pervert sometimes, you know that?" I giggled as I turned around to kiss him.

"Hey I can't help it if you're so gorgeous that I can't keep my hands off of you," he teased as he leaned into me, his hand pressed against my lower back.

"Its part of being a Nadeshiko," I teased back. "To have beauty that is both a blessing and a curse."

"Then by all means put me under your spell," he murmured as he kissed me again. We enjoyed a delicious kiss and gentle caress. Before long we continued that in the warmth of my bed. He was gentler than ever before since he worried about hurting the baby. My sensitive body responded eagerly to this. It was like nothing I've ever experienced before. "Admit it, you wished for this when we were in Shimizu last time," he grinned wickedly afterward.

"No I didn't!" I laughed at him. "But I bet you did."

"Of course I did," he whispered along my skin. "You were all I ever wanted." I smiled and snuggled close. "Did you tell your Dad about us? About the baby?"

I shook my head. "No, but Chieko knows."

"And what did she say, hm?" He asked curiously.

"She was a little worried but seems happy about it."

"Then we'll tell them together," he said resolutely as he kissed my fingertips. Oh how I love those shining sapphire eyes that are for me alone. I nodded and gave him one last kiss before falling asleep in his arms.


	45. Chapter 45: All Together Now

[Deidara's Point of View]

I waited until Natsume was asleep before climbing out of bed. I'm not sure what she had in mind for re-introducing me to her Dad but I'm determined to handle it on my own. She has enough to worry about; this shouldn't be one of them. During the day I came across Masanori's shop and discreetly left a message on his desk asking for a private meeting. I signed it "Natsume's Hero" and hopefully he won't think its Kazuhiko or someone else.

I looked down at her sleeping figure as her sweet scent enveloped my senses. She smiled in her sleep; her expression was so calm and warm that it took my breath away. I reached out to caress her cheek with my fingertips. She moaned softly and leaned into my hand as she instinctively followed my touch. I knelt down and continued to admire her. She's usually so fearless and independent, but in sleep she seemed fragile and delicate as a flower…my flower…my Kuchinashi. I've lost her once but I'll never let her go now. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with her. I want to marry her one day and so I'll need Masanori's blessing. Even though Natsume hasn't said anything, I know she's worried that her Dad won't approve of me anymore. She may be right but after I explain everything he may change his mind about me.

I gently kissed her cheek and turned away to get dressed. Then I slipped out the window and melted into the shadows of the night. I was mindful of all, just in case Masanori had involved the police. But all was silent and still. He was waiting in his office with a lone light on when I slipped in through the window. He looked up as I threw back my hood and we stared at each other. Naturally he was very surprised. "Are you a ghost?" He asked reverently.

I shook my head. "No. I didn't die fighting Sasuke Uchiha. It was a cover, an escape, so I could desert Akatsuki."

He was silent for a time and then looked a little sad. "And why are you here?"

"I'm dating your daughter. I thought you should know that."

He looked surprised at that and slowly sat down in his office chair. "She didn't mention you earlier…"

"I asked her not to," I explained. "I wanted to tell you myself…and to explain things."

His brow furrowed slightly but he nodded silently. I took a deep breath and summed up the past few years, focusing mainly on my supposed betrayal of Iwagakure and touched lightly my involvement in Akatsuki. I have no doubt that he knew of all my crimes…even if Natsume had been oblivious to them. I then told him about my reunion with Natsume and a little of our life together. I left out the part of her being in danger since…well…I was afraid that he'd kill me then and there over it. He just sat there stone-faced and silent as I spoke, a departure from his usually easy-going nature. It made me feel terribly self-conscious but I forced myself to continue on. As her father he had every right to know the dealings of her boyfriend. In the end I concluded, "I'm not asking for your forgiveness. I've done many things I'm not proud of, sir. But after seeing Natsume again…she reminds me of who I really am and wanted to be. I love her even more now than I did then and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I don't expect you to approve of that but please don't be angry with her. Take it out on me, I can handle it."

I waited with bated breath for his response. Then he slowly stood up and approached me. He towered over me with his bulging muscles and hands curled into fists. He narrowed his eyes menacingly at me. I swallowed nervously but held my ground, waiting for the first punch. Instead he laughed and pulled me into a big bear hug. I squeaked in surprise. "Masanori-san? What are you-?"

"Oh Deidara-kun, it's so good to see you again!"

I was completely shocked. Yes we were close before, but I didn't expect him to forgive me so easily. "You know, for some reason I thought this was going to be much harder."

"I really had you going there for a second huh?" He laughed again as he let me go.

I was so confused. "Aren't you angry with me?"

"For what?" Now he looked confused.

"For everything I've done, hm!" I snapped.

He shrugged. "You're a good kid. I always knew you were. While I didn't approve of what you were doing, I figured that eventually you'd come around."

So he's chalking up my entire career as an international terrorist and S-ranked criminal to normal teenage rebellion? I couldn't believe it and just stared at him in a dumb-founded manner.

He grinned as he ruffled my hair playfully like he used to. "Don't look so surprised. After all life's too short to harbor grudges. So tell me, how serious are things between you and Natsume?"

"Pretty serious," I said. "I've asked her to marry me a few times."

His eyes wrinkled mischievously. "Meaning that she hasn't said yes."

I sighed and nodded. "Pretty much. Hopefully one of these days she will."

"I doubt it's a personal thing," he reassured me with a hand on my shoulder. "If it were, she would have dumped you without a second thought."

"Yeah I guess," I grumbled. "But still I wish she'd say yes."

"Why don't we talk about it over a drink?' He proposed as he walked away. "Besides I've always wanted to drink with a ghost," he said with a laugh. I raised my hood and followed after him. He took me the local bar and ordered us each a drink. We talked about Natsume but then he suddenly asked. "Do your parents know that you're still alive?" I hung my head with shame and shook my head mutely. "Really? Now that surprises me," he surmised.

"It shouldn't," I said as I took a sip. "They're better off thinking I'm dead. After all, I've disgraced the family name. I could never be welcomed back."

"Well you'll find out tomorrow," he said off-handedly.

I coughed and choked on my drink. "What? They're coming?"

He nodded. "We're business partners after all so naturally we see each other often. And don't you even think of going into hiding. Face them like the man you are."

I groaned and pressed a hand over eyes. "It's not that simple, hm."

"It's not that hard either," he countered. "Just tell them what you told me and it'll be just fine, I'm sure of it." I was still a little skeptical but he rested a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "They're your parents and they love you Deidara-kun. Yes they'll probably be hurt and upset but very much relieved that you're alive and back to how you used to be."

I sighed and lowered my gaze. "I won't ever be who I used to be. Too much has changed for that to happen."

"I suppose that's true in a way, we all grow up and mature. But you're trying to make things right again and that's all that matters. It'll all work out, trust me."

"And if it doesn't?" I asked worriedly.

"Then that's just a part of life too."

Wow, so unhelpful, but he's right. Either way I should face my parents and accept their forgiveness or condemnation. We returned to the villa a short time later. He offered me the same room that I had used when I stayed last time. I accepted gratefully, not sure if it was a good idea to tell him that I was staying in Natsume's room. Once I closed the door, I climbed out the window and made my way carefully to her room and slipped inside. She was still asleep, her gorgeous body elongated as the sheets molded to her figure. She looked beautiful in the moonlight as it softened her sexy curves. Again my heart swelled with joy to know that she was carrying my child. I quietly climbed into bed beside her and gently pulled her close. She groaned softly as she stirred but nestled against my chest as she continued to sleep. I kissed her forehead. "I love you Natsume." I whispered. Her breathing remained slow and even. I was content to hold her like this until I too fell asleep.

The next morning I felt her lean body stretch against mine. I opened my eyes to see her beautiful golden eye shining back at me. I loved seeing her witty smile with its full lips, already I longed to kiss them. I leaned in to kiss her and relished the kiss and how her soft body felt in my arms. She's so incredible. In many ways I still can't believe that she's mine.

"I love you Dei-Dei," she whispered as she wrapped her arms around my neck. "More than you could ever know."

"Then show me often," I smirked deviously as I slipped my hand up the front of her shirt.

She laughed; it was a light-heartened and mischievous sound. "You're such a tease."

I laughed back and as I pulled my hand out I paused for a moment as my fingertips rested against her abdomen. I looked down with a soft smile. "What?" She asked curiously.

I gently stroked her flat stomach. "I just can't believe how lucky I am," I whispered reverently. "I'm going to be a Dad. I can hardly wait!" She went very still and I looked up to see her start to cry. I panicked. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head as she quickly wiped her tears away. "Nothing's wrong. It's just that…this baby means so much to you already."

"Of course it does," I said as I kissed her nose. "It's a manifestation of our love together. What's not to love about that?"

She sighed as she snuggled closer. "I'm glad you feel that way."

"Don't you?" I asked as I slid my hand down the length of her spine.

"I do now," she smiled as she kissed me tenderly.

"By the way I think we should name him Tomiichi."

She pulled back and looked at me in an exasperated manner. "What makes you think it'll be a boy?"

"Because I want him to be." I said matter-of-factly.

She just laughed at me. "I don't think it works that way, kid."

Just then there was a knock at the door. "Breakfast is ready Natsume-san," a servant called through the door.

I was reluctant to let go of her but she was eager to eat. Also I think she was nervous about "re-introducing" me to her Dad. I didn't want her to worry so I told her about last night. She was upset that I went behind her back. "What if Dad had called the police on you?"

"I've eluded the ANBU of every country over the years. I'm not that easy to catch."

"I caught you fairly easily," She grinned wickedly as her hand wandered down my chest.

I smirked as I pulled her in for another kiss. "Yes when it came to you I immediately surrendered. I know superiority when I see it, hm."

"And don't you forget it," she said with a flirtatious wink as she turned away to get dressed. What a sexy little vixen!

Breakfast went well and Masanori gave her some grief for not accepting my marriage proposals. "That's none of your business Dad," she said firmly. "Marriage just isn't for me."

He sighed melodramatically. "You enjoy dashing my dreams first thing in the morning, don't you?"

We all had a good laugh at that and enjoyed the rest of the meal. I've forgotten how succulent the fruit is here, so tropical and bursting with exotic flavor. I hope we can stay in Shimizu for a long time. It was also fun to meet her little half-brother. He was pretty darn cute but I know that ours will be even cuter. After all he'll have me for his Dad and the sexiest woman in the world for his Mom.

After breakfast Masanori pulled me aside. "Your parents will be arriving in an hour. I'll go over business with them but will bring them back for lunch. I'll send them to inspect the clay inventory, be there waiting for them."

"I'm still not sure this is a good idea, hm," I said warily.

"It'll be alright." he said encouragingly.

Natsume caught me as I walked out of the dining room, curious about what Masanori and I had talked about. I told her and she was very sympathetic. "Would you like me to be there with you?"

For a second I was tempted to accept her offer but instead shook my head. I can do this on my own. Those next few hours were terrible as I waited in the art storage room. I paced back and forth as I ran over in my mind what I was going to say. This was even more nerve-racking than it had been when I talked to Masanori. For one thing I never intended to get in touch with my parents. I figured that they had disowned me by now. Then the doorknob rattled and I dove behind a pile of bins. Yes it was completely cowardly of me, but I panicked! Can you blame me?

"This is my latest shipment," Masanori said as he closed the door behind him. "I decided to try a new type of clay; something more elastic but with the same durability of the other."

"Most impressive Masanori-san," my Dad said. "You truly have an eye for quality."

"Please feel free to look over the rest. I must have a word with the cook about lunch. I'll come for you when it's ready."

"Thank you," my mom said gratefully. I've forgotten how soft and sweet her voice sounds when she's not angry. My heart started to beat so fast that I thought it'd burst right out of my chest. My mouth went dry and I panicked. What if they don't want to see me?

I sneaked a peek when Masanori closed the door. My heart stopped when I saw them. I felt light-headed as my heart swelled with emotion. My parents…they've always been there for me…would they still be? Even now? I blinked back rising tears that started to blur my vision as my heart continued to race.

Mom had grown her hair out down to her back and styled it in an elaborate braid. Dad stood beside her with his hand resting on her hip as together they examined some of the boxes. They were always so close and affectionate. My heart ached as I realized just how much I've missed them. But now I realized that I did want to make peace with them. During those years of loneliness, I tried not to think about them because the memories hurt too much. I took a deep breath, gathered my courage, and stood up.

They turned when they heard me. Mom gasped and covered her mouth in surprise. Dad looked wary and I suddenly felt tongue-tied. What can I say that will make up for what I've done to them? What can I say to ease the heartache and disappoint I've caused them? In truth…there really wasn't. No words could make up for the treachery of the past. I stood there, too afraid to move or even breathe. This was the critical moment: will they accept or reject me?

To my surprise Mom ran towards me with open arms. "Oh Deidara!" She gushed with emotion. Her expression lit up with relief and the sight touched my heart. My eyes filled with tears again as my breath caught in my throat. She hugged me tightly around the neck and it felt like the world stopped. I've forgotten how warm and gentle her hugs are. I wasted no time in hugging her back. "I'm sorry Mom."

She cried and her tears soaked my shirt. I looked up to see Dad approach. He was more composed than Mom and a little hesitant. "I'm sorry Dad," I said sincerely. "I know I've really let you all down."

He leaned in to kiss my forehead and wrapped his arms around Mom and me. "It's good to see you again son." He said with a gentle smile. Now I started to cry harder, unable to stop the tears of relief and happiness. I wasn't expecting them to be so welcoming and forgiving. I really don't deserve them. We held each other like that for awhile and the silence was peaceful this time. Afterward they took a seat as I explained what had happened. They listened without interruption.

"So you mean to say that this whole time you were under a genjutsu?" Dad asked hopefully.

I sighed and shook my head. "I was for the bombing of Iwagakure but I joined Akatsuki freely and served willingly." At this they were startled and I flinched. "I'm not proud of what I've done. I'll admit I've really screwed up this time. I lost my way for a long time."

Dad nodded thoughtfully as his blue eyes narrowed keenly. "What changed that?"

"Natsume," I said with a smile. "Our paths crossed along the way and…well…we reconnected."

Mom blinked in surprise but somehow Dad didn't seem all that surprised. "I see," he said with a knowing smile. When I was growing up I once asked Dad why he married Mom. All kids ask that question at some point. He told me that he knew she was the one when he realized he wasn't complete without her. She had become a part of him. _She motivates me to be the man I should be. _Only now did his words make sense to me. Natsume is that dear to me.

Just then the door opened and Masanori and Natsume entered. She ran into my arms and gave me a quick kiss.

"Well I've gotta say it's nice to all be together again." Masanori smiled at us all. "Just like old times."

"You knew!" Mom protested as she blushed modestly. "You knew Deidara was here and you didn't tell us?"

"Forgive me but I felt that it was his place to tell you," He said apologetically. "Now lunch is ready, I hope you're all hungry."

"Just a minute," I interrupted as I turned Natsume around so that her back was to me. "There's something we want to tell you all." I felt her stiffen in my arms. Was she worried about their reaction? I wasn't. The worst was behind us, now was the time for joy. I rested my hands low on her abdomen. "We're going to have a baby!" I said proudly.


	46. Chapter 46: The Next Chapter

[Natsume's Point of View]

That idiot got ahead of himself. We should have waited for a better time to tell everyone but instead he just blurts it out. Then again it's adorable in a way; he's so proud and excited at the prospect of being a Dad. His announcement was followed by silence as our parents stared incredulously at us.

Yukiko moaned as she fainted on the spot. Tamotsu caught her before she hit the ground. Tamotsu looked a little worried too but Dad was thrilled. "A grandchild! FINALLY!" He roared with laughter as he thumped Deidara on the back. "Well done!"

Deidara reddened modestly and I glared. "Real mature dad, sheesh!"

He just laughed off my biting retort and hugged us both. "You two are in for the ride of your life but it'll be a blast!"

"What's going on down here?" Chieko asked as she poked her head into the room. "Lunch is getting cold." Then she panicked when she saw Yukiko unconscious in her husband's arms. "What happened?!"

"The shock of being a grandmother over-whelmed her," he said with a wry smile as he approached her. "Do you have a room ready for us?"

"Of course, right this way," Chieko led the way and he followed.

The rest of us went to the dining room to start eating. Tamotsu joined us later.

"Is Yukiko-san alright?" I asked worriedly. "I'm sorry if-"

He smiled and shook his head. "It's not your fault; the news just caught her by surprise that's all."

"That's why we should have waited to tell them," I said pointedly as I narrowed my eyes at Deidara.

He shrugged. "I don't see what difference it makes, hm."

"We should throw you a baby shower when you get closer to your time," Chieko said with a smile. "All your friends and probably most of the town will want to come-"

"No!" I cried out as I stood up and slammed my hands on the table. "No one else can know about this! Deidara and I have gone into hiding. We're supposed to be dead!" This was followed by another round of absolute silence and I blinked in surprise. "What?"

Deidara groaned. "I didn't tell them about you pretending to be dead,"

"Why not?" I asked furiously as I blushed.

"Because your Dad would kill me if he knew!" He hissed quietly.

"Enough!" Tamotsu interrupted authoritatively. "It's clear that there's more to the story but let's finish it at a later time."

We all agreed and returned to eating. I however couldn't eat another bite. I felt terrible. Everything was unraveling and was bound to get worse when I tell them about the assassination attempts. I can't do that. Then I realized that Tamotsu and Yukiko haven't said anything about me being pregnant. Was their silence meant to be a sign of their disapproval? I felt very self-conscious as I started to worry. If they didn't accept their grand-child, does that mean they don't accept me either? Do they disapprove of our relationship? I was on the verge of hyper-ventilating as my heart pounded loudly.

Coming here was a mistake after all. I should have known that this was a bad idea. I quickly excused myself from the table and Deidara soon followed after me. I ignored him and pulled out of his gentle grasp. "Now hold up," he said as his grip tightened. He turned me around to face him. "What's wrong?"

My resistance crumbled in his arms and I cried into his shirt. "Oh it's a disaster!" I sobbed. "We shouldn't have come here! What were we thinking?" I trembled in his arms as I wailed. What's wrong with me? I'm not used to this emotional rollercoaster and I feel so foolish.

"We need our family right now," He said soothingly. "Especially you." I didn't know what he meant by that. "So don't worry about it ok? Why don't you get some rest?"

"I don't need to sleep," I frowned. "Beside that won't solve anything anyway."

"It doesn't have to," he said simply as he carefully picked me up and carried me down the corridor. "But you need to take it easy."

I sighed and rested my head against his chest. I still felt over-whelmed with worry. "How can I?" I mumbled miserably.

"Because you have me now," he said gently as he kissed my forehead. I couldn't help but smile at that. He really can be very sweet sometimes. It was comforting to be carried in his strong arms. His heartbeat sounded gently in my ear; steady, sure, and confident. My anxiety started to slip away as I felt grateful to have Deidara in my life. Meeting him had been a turning point in my life; loving him had given me a new start. He really is my samurai in shining armor, saving me from myself.

He carried me silently as I started to feel a little drowsy. He carefully tucked me into bed and gave me a slow and tender kiss. "I'll see you in your dreams."

I smirked gently as I sneaked in one last kiss. "I look forward to it."

I fell asleep before he left the room. By the time I woke up, the room was dark and a tray of dinner was left at my bedside. I had no idea I'd been that tired. I sat up and stretched, then started to eat. Towards the end of the meal I heard voices outside my window. It sounded like Deidara and Tamotsu. Curious, I went to the window and quietly opened it. Leaning carefully out, I saw the two sitting outside on the patio.

"So you disapprove then, hm?" Deidara asked sullenly. My heart jumped into my throat. Were they talking about us?

"No, of course not," Tamotsu assured him. "It's every parent's dream to be a grandparent. Natsume-san is a wonderful girl, almost like a daughter to me. I am happy for you both…" at this his voice grew hesitant. "But I'm concerned about how you'll support a family if you're supposed to be dead."

Deidara sighed and bowed his head. "I've thought of that already and I need your advice." Tamotsu nodded and Deidara continued. "I'm considering turning myself in to the Tsuchikage."

I gasped and gripped the windowsill in horror. He can't do that! "You'd be killed if you turned yourself in," Tamotsu reminded him for me. "Why would you do such a thing?"

"Because the bounty on my head alone would provide for Natsume but it's more than that. I don't want her to spend the rest of her life hiding away from the world. You know how she is; she needs freedom to spread her wings. Seclusion would stifle her independent spirit and she'd slowly slip into depression. I can't do that to her Dad. I'd never forgive myself."

I've never seen Deidara be so serious before. He's really matured in some ways. Tamotsu sighed as he ran an uneasy hand through his close-cropped blonde hair. "I know what you mean and yet-"

"Perhaps they would find me more useful alive than dead, especially if I reveal Akatsuki secrets. Do you think they'll spare my life and lessen my sentence if I did?"

"It's possible. But would it be worth the risk?"

Deidara nodded stubbornly. "My future with Natsume depends on it."

"And what exactly is the future you have in mind?" His Dad asked gently.

"I want to marry her," he said firmly.

He seemed surprised by this. "Marriage is a big commitment that shouldn't be rushed into. Is this because of the baby?"

Deidara was very offended by that. "Of course not! I've been proposing to her for months! Long before she got pregnant!"

"Then obviously she's refused you," he surmised correctly. "If she doesn't want to be with you why do you still persist?"

I bristled at that. How could he say that? Though I guess it's a reasonable assumption. Most men wouldn't stick around after a refused proposal.

"She's not saying no because she has a problem with me," Deidara explained. "It's because of her Mom." He suddenly slammed his fist into the wall. "Just once I'd like to give that woman a piece of my mind!"

"Now Deidara," his Dad gently scolded. "Natsume-san was very close to her mother-"

"Which is all the more reason why I hate her, hm!" He spat angrily, surprising both Tamotsu and I. "It's because of that that her betrayal runs so deeply! That woman thought only of herself and deserted them. She isn't wasting her time thinking about her family or how they feel about what she did. So why will Natsume spend the rest of her life dwelling on it? Her Dad's gotten over it and she was his _wife!_ So why hasn't she?"

His angry words knocked the wind out of me and I slumped onto the floor. His words broke my heart…how could he say that? He doesn't understand what its like to be abandoned. To spend your life looking up to and admiring a parent…only to have it go up in flames. I loved my Mother, we were inseparable it seemed. Then why did she so easily walk away? That kind of pain doesn't disappear with time. And yet…the rational part of me agreed with Deidara. As hard as it was in the beginning, Dad did eventually get over Mom. He married again and now has a son…and yet I know that his pain was even worse than my own…then how? How was he able to forget her and move on when I couldn't?

Just then there was a knock at my door. "Natsume? You awake yet?" Dad asked through the door.

I opened my mouth to speak but my voice cracked. Thankfully he still opened the door and looked surprised when he saw me. "What are you doing on the floor?" He asked as he hurried to help me up. Then I startled him further by hugging him tightly as I started to cry. He quickly hugged me back. "Oh Sume," he whispered his nickname for me when I was a child. "What's wrong?"

"Is something wrong with me Dad?" I sobbed into his shirt. Where are these stupid tears coming from? I've cried more in one day than I have in months. I had no idea being pregnant would make me so moody.

"Of course nothing's wrong with you," he assured me. "Why do you ask?"

"Mom broke your heart and yet you've moved on. I haven't. Why is that?"

He sighed and sat me down on the bed. He sat beside me and clasped his hands together in his lap. "I can only tell you why I have. Only you can answer for yourself," he said seriously.

"Please tell me," I pleaded.

I then noticed him twist his wedding ring on his ring finger absent-mindedly. "For a long time I blamed myself for Rin running away. I couldn't accept the fact that she would willingly do that. I figured that it had to be my fault so for a long time I beat myself up over it. Do you remember that time I nearly died of alcohol poisoning?"

I shivered involuntarily. How could I ever forget that day? It was that scare that prompted me to go job-hunting in Iwagakure. That entire nightmare took place while Dad was in a coma at the hospital. His eyes glazed over as he too remembered that terrible memory. "When I came out of that coma, you were the first thing I saw." He said as he took my hand in his. "I'd never been so happy to see you before…not since the day you were born. Then I realized that while I had lost Rin…I had almost lost you too. I couldn't let that happen. So then I decided to be the father you deserved. Over the years I came to realize that I wasn't responsible for Rin leaving. I had done everything I could to please her and treated her well. It hurt to accept that I meant so little to her in the end but I was determined to move on. I deserved to be happy too. She wasn't wasting her time thinking about me, so I wasn't going to waste my time either." He paused for a moment as he waited for my response to that.

I had a hard time finding my voice. "But if I let go of my feelings…then I'll lose her for good."

"She's already gone Natsume," he said sympathetically. "Nothing can change that."

Tears dripped onto my lap as I sniffled. I know he's right and yet it hurts so badly. He hugged me close again. "Don't get so caught up in your grief that you lose sight of what you still have," he whispered. "Don't lose him to things that are already lost."

Clarity came to me as I realized what he was really saying. My grief and despair for the past could rob me of the future I could have if I put my mind to it. In the comforting arms of my Dad I wondered what it was that I really wanted. Obviously I'm going to be a mother. I'm still getting used to the idea but it was an unavoidable reality. But there was one thing I knew that I wanted for sure. I want to be with Deidara. I love him so very much and can't imagine my life without him…so then…what _is_ holding me back from marrying him? He's already proven to be true and I know he won't desert me like Mom did.

Just then Deidara entered the room without knocking. He stopped short when he saw us. "Am I interrupting something?" He stupidly asked.

I couldn't help back laugh as I pulled back. "Not really, come on in."

Dad kissed the top of my head and silently left the room. Deidara pulled me into his arms and wiped my tears with his sleeve. "Why are you crying this time, hm? I don't think I've ever seen you cry so much before."

I giggled softly. "Tell me about it! I guess…well I've not been feeling myself lately." His clear blue eyes gleamed expectantly as he waited for me to elaborate on that. He was always willing to listen to me. "I've just been doing some thinking." Again he waited silently. "About what I want." I clarified.

At this he started to look a little concerned. I considered him silently as I recalled everything we've been through together. I love him more than I've loved anyone before. He touched my heart in a way that no one else has in years. I dared to recall all those childhood fantasies I had about getting married and those fairy tales I used to read about where everyone lives happily ever after. I remember those carefree days when it felt like everything was perfect. Life isn't perfect however and not every story has a happy ending. But the loss of Mom didn't have to define me. It was a painful ending but Deidara was the beginning of the next chapter. My story had plenty of blanks pages left…so what will I write next?

By now the poor kid looked green as he worried. I smiled and kissed him slowly and tenderly. He relaxed as he kissed me back. My heart raced as things grew more passionate. His former naivety was replaced with the confident touch of the experienced. Before long he pressed me into the bed and I gasped with pleasure as his lips tasted my sensitive neck. "Ask me again," I murmured.

He paused for a moment to look at me curiously. "Ask you what?"

I slipped my hand up the front of his shirt. "_The_ question."

He looked confused for a few seconds longer and then grinned from ear to ear. "Have you finally changed your mind?"

"Ask me," I repeated as I massaged his defined abs. "Don't make me beg." I whined softly.

His smile grew softer as his face glowed affectionately. "Will you marry me Natsume? Will you be my wife?"

"Yes!" I grinned. "Though you should know, I won't wash dishes."

He rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah because I was _totally_ looking for a wife who'll wash dishes for me." We both shared a laugh over that and then he brushed my bangs aside and looked at me so affectionately that my heart swelled with joy. "It's official then. I'm now the luckiest man in the world. I love you Natsume," he murmured.

"I love you too Deidara," I whispered back and then closed my eyes as he kissed me again. As we made love I let go of _all _my ties to the past. From this moment on, he is part of my future. What does the past matter in comparison to the promise of the future?


	47. Chapter 47: What Makes a Shinobi

Sorry for the wait! Here's the long awaited chapter. Two more before the end so stay tuned, my faithful readers!

* * *

[Deidara's Point of View]

Never before had making love felt so heavenly, it even surpassed our first time. Even though her body responded to mine, I had always sensed that she was still holding back a little. Her heart was vulnerable and I knew she feared to give it completely. She still maintained that sense of reluctance. I didn't blame her for that. The scars she carries still have their sting after all these years. Yet I did hope that one day she'd realize she could trust me when I tell her how much I love and adore her beauty, wit, and spirit. She is perfection itself in my eyes. How can she not see that? I held out hope that one day she would…and now she has. Her last bit of resistance melted in my amorous embrace as I expressed my love to her.

The next morning my heart swelled with pride to feel her soft body pressed against me; her arms wrapped possessively around my chest. I gently kissed her forehead as I listened to her deep, peaceful breathing. My beautiful fiancé…Then suddenly Dad's words ran through my mind: _I'm concerned about how you'll support a family if you're supposed to be dead. _Curse him! My euphoria quickly evaporated as I started to worry. He's right, even if I revealed Akatsuki secrets its unlikely I'll be pardoned altogether. I would be treated like the S-ranked criminal I've become…and what of my family then? Could I really abandon Natsume and our son just so that I could provide for them? No…no I can't do that…and yet…how can I make an honest living while hiding in the shadows? I sighed wearily and closed my eyes as I felt a headache coming on.

"What's wrong?" Natsume stirred.

I opened my eyes again and frowned. "What makes you think something is?"

She smirked gently as she dragged a lazy finger along my bare chest. "Your aura is tension itself."

I chuckled in spite of myself and then confided my worries to her. Normally I would have insisted on keeping them to myself, but since this concerns her I felt she ought to have a say. She listened without interruption and at the end she finally spoke. "You can't turn yourself in, not as long as Tobi is alive."

I frowned again. "Tobi? What does he have to do with this?" She went incredibly still and turned deathly pale. Now I was worried. "Tell me," I insisted.

Her mouth twitched as she struggled to speak. "He was the one…who…tried to k-kill me."

I burst out laughing at the bizarreness of it. "What? That's impossible."

She glared at me so fiercely that it immediately shut me up. "Do you _really_ think I'd joke about something like that?" She hissed.

I reddened with shame. "No! It's just that…this is Tobi we're talking about here."

She narrowed her eyes coldly. "I know what you think he is…but trust me. You have_ no idea _who he_ really_ is."

This time I listened in silence as she explained the attack more fully. It hurt to hear that my trusted comrade would do this to someone he knew was important to me…only to realize that was exactly why he did. Then to hear that he was Uchida, the scumbag who forced me to bomb Iwagakure…words can't describe how angry that made me! I can't believe that this whole time he's been playing me! Using me for some unknown end! So my entire life outside of Iwagakura was just orchestrated by him? Had nothing been done of my own choosing? Hatred swelled within my chest as my temper threatened to explode.

Just then Natsume stopped talking and pulled me in for a passionate kiss. I resisted and tried to push her away. Normally I don't mind her distractions but this time I wasn't in the mood. Still she wasn't easily deterred. She just kissed me even harder until at last I gave in and kissed her back. I can't resist her for very long, she's just too dang sexy. "I know how you feel," she panted as we were both out of breath. "But just let it go. He can't hurt us anymore. He can't stop us now. So please…" she leaned in to kiss me again. "Let it go."

I groaned softly as I ran my hand down the length of her side. "You're asking for too much."

"I know," she murmured softly as she rested a hand over my heart. "But I won't lose you again," her voice cracked with emotion as tears gathered in the corner of her eye. "I…just I can't. I need you Deidara." I kissed her softly as my heart swelled with pride. It made me so very happy to hear that my stubbornly independent girl needed me after all. "Stay with me…promise me that you will," she pleaded in a whisper.

"I promise," I said immediately. I can't deny her anything.

Her face glowed with happiness, softening her beautiful features. Perhaps she's right. Confronting Tobi would satisfy my pride but it could also risk my future with her. Nothing was worth that…not even revenge. She is my life now. I pulled her on top of me and kissed her deliciously slow, intent on confirming my commitment to her again beneath the sheets. She giggled as she grew more amorous in return.

Just then there was a knock at the door. "Natsume-san, Deidara-san, your parents are expecting you in the dining room." A servant called through the door.

"Keep quiet," I whispered along her skin. "Then they'll think we're still asleep."

She giggled as she gently pushed me back. "Not at this time of morning. C'mon they're waiting for us to tell them the rest of the story so we might as well get it over with."

I pouted but she still climbed out of bed. I followed after her and cuddled her from behind. Her stomach was flat but hard against my palm. "I wish that I could feel Tomiichi inside your stomach," I wished wistfully.

She laughed as she pulled away. "What still makes you think we're going to have a boy? And even if we were I wouldn't want to use such a lame name."

"What? No it's not, hm!"

"Yes it is!" She said as she tweaked my nose. "And besides I'd rather have a girl instead."

"Well then I guess we're going to need to have another baby after this one," I gently teased.

She hesitated for a moment and I waited for her to tell me off. But instead she wore a small smile and blushed prettily. "I suppose we'll have to."

I stared at her in surprise. "Really? You mean-? WAHOO!" I crowed as I picked her up and swung her around in my arms.

"Put me down you idiot before I throw up!" She gasped and I quickly obeyed. She leaned on me for a moment and pressed a hand against her stomach, taking deep breaths.

"I'm sorry," I said quickly as I hugged her. "I'm just so happy to hear that you want to have more kids with me."

"Well don't make me regret it," she grumbled as she pulled away. But then she laughed it off and set about getting dressed. I quickly dressed as well.

Our parents were waiting for us and all conversation died away as we entered the dining room. Natsume opted to speak for us, the assumption being that I'd just screw things up again. I resented that a little but she insisted on it. She told about how we met again and mutually decided to stay together. Masanori looked on the verge of a panic attack when she explained that she stayed at the base. "With all those villains?! Have you lost your mind?!"

"I did what I felt was right," she said firmly as she narrowed her eyes, not willing to back down. "I later moved into my own place nearby but more for comfort reasons than for my safety. Besides, some of the members weren't so bad…in fact…they saved my life numerous times." A hush filled the room as she lowered her gaze thoughtfully. "Especially Itachi Uchiha."

They gasped but I noticed the small smile in the corner of her mouth. "You hated him, hm!" I snapped as I jumped to my feet. "I know you did!"

She looked at me in exasperation. "I know I did…but I was wrong about him. He didn't turn out to be so bad after all. He risked so much to keep me safe, I owe him for that."

"You owe him nothing," I grumbled as I sat back down. "It wasn't his place to begin with, stupid little womanizer."

She ignored that and continued with her story. Thankfully she wasn't too descriptive with the part concerning the murder attempt. Our parents listened with wide-eyes and white knuckles. When she finished she turned towards my parents. "This pregnancy was unplanned," she confessed as she placed a hand on her stomach self-consciously. "I'm sorry if that bothers you. I'm sure you were hoping for better for your son-"

"Nonsense!" Yukiko protested as she hurried to give her a hug. "We love you Natsume as if you were our own daughter. Only you could restore Deidara to us and we're happy to have both of you again."

I considered that for a moment. Restore? That seemed like an odd thing to say…and yet it wasn't in some ways. After all Natsume had reminded me of who I really was and gave me the courage to regain that part of my humanity again. I'll never be exactly who I was before but I was pretty close to it. Dad came up to give her their blessing as well. Natsume teared up again with hopefully happy tears. It's still unnerving to see her cry so much. Who knew that pregnancy can make a girl so emotional?

Then he looked at me expectantly. "What will you two do now?"

I hesitated for a moment but then Natsume spoke for me. "Natsume and Deidara are dead," she said firmly. "That's a fact…but that doesn't stop us from creating new lives…new identities…" Her voice trailed off meaningfully and I perked up at the thought. New identities…then there would be no need to hide in the shadows. She gently took my hand in hers. "Then we could have the life we've always wanted….and stay together. What do you say?"

I smiled as I rested my hands on her hips and kissed her softly. "Yes, let's have the life we've always wanted."

Over the next few weeks our family helped us create new identities with proper documentation. It felt a little weird to start an honest life through such dishonest means but it was a necessary evil. Natsume changed her name to Kaneko and I changed mine to Yoshino. We kept our last names seeing as how the resemblance to our families was too strong to dismiss, so we claimed to be distant cousins to our parents. By far the hardest part of the process was the physical change. I hated to part with my long blonde hair but it was essential to complete the new identity. My hair was cut close-cropped and dyed black. I looked like such a freak and flinched every time I saw my reflection in the mirror. Natsume assured me that I was still the sexy beast I was before…but I wonder if she was only saying that to make me feel better. She took cut her hair short and styled it differently but I begged her not to dye it. In the end we compromised and she streaked it with a little bit of black. It's not fair that she still looked every bit as amazing as before and I looked like such a doofus. But in the end, what does it really matter? We still have each other and a baby and marriage to look forward to. I'm excited for what the future has in store for us.

* * *

[Natsume's Point of View]

After the paperwork verifying our new identities were finalized, I wanted to get married right away. Deidara grinned deviously at my request and pulled me in close. "You just can't wait, can you? Neither can I," he chuckled as he kissed me tenderly.

Naturally he'd think it was because I couldn't resist him, which is hardly the case. He's already mine; being married won't make any difference. My reasons for hurrying were rather vain. After three months, my pregnancy was starting to show. My clothes were beginning to feel a little tight. No one had noticed yet but it was very obvious to me. The last thing I wanted to be was a fat bride. So I kept my reasons to myself and wedding preparations were made.

Two weeks later we made our wedding vows in a Shinto Shrine overlooking the ocean at sunset. Only our parents attended of course but the small wedding party made it feel more intimate and comfortable. After all, we were all in this together. Deidara made a handsome groom in his wedding robes, even more so with his short ebony hair. It made his sapphire eyes really stand out. His face radiated happiness and his eyes shone with tears of joy which made my heart swell with emotion. All of those childhood dreams of mine didn't compare to the sacredness of the moment as we made our vows, swearing eternal love and loyalty.

We honeymooned in Kiyomizu in a little beach house by the lake. To think that the last time I was here I despaired of ever seeing Deidara again. Now he's my husband; attentive, affectionate, and still occasionally obnoxious. I guess that can't be helped, he's still so young. But it was bliss to wake up in his arms and feel his love for me through his gentle touch and tender words. It was nothing short of euphoric to be with him in this real live fairytale that we've written together.

We spent the first few days solely in the bedroom but eventually we ventured out to enjoy the majestic beauty of the woods and crisp, clear lake. One night we walked barefoot along the beach, hand in hand. The moon glowed with ethereal beauty overhead and the breeze was warm. Even the stars seemed to shine brighter than before. Or was that because I'm still on a honeymoon high? Eventually things will go back to normal but I'm in no hurry to change things. I want to enjoy the moment as it is. Just then Deidara stopped and I turned to look at him. His expression softened as his lips curled into a gentle smile. "You look so beautiful tonight," he murmured softly.

I laughed and shook my head in amusement. "You tell me that every night."

"And I will continue to every night," he promised as he drew closer. "I want you to know everyday how much I love and admire you." He was quiet for a time and silence stretched between us. He leaned in even closer, his mouth so very close to mine. A thrill ran through me as my heart started to race. It still amazes me how easily he breaks through my defenses, envelops my senses, and fills my heart with joy. Itachi thrilled me physically but Deidara's soul resonates with mine. He completes me in every sense. Perhaps there is something to be said about soul mates after all. His lips parted as he whispered, "I've changed Natsume, been through hell and back, but one thing that's never changed is the way I feel about you." His hand pressed against the small of my back and I leaned into him instinctively. His lips rested against my mouth, tickling it as he continued to whisper. "From the first time we met…I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you."

"How can you know something like that?" I scoffed in exasperation. "Now you're just being silly."

"No," his deep voice took on a more mature air. "I've never been more serious before in my life. Some things are really meant to be and I _know_ that we're one of them."

I hesitated for a moment as I wondered if he too felt the magic of the moment…perhaps it wasn't just for the moment. Perhaps it was…what had been there all along? I giggled softly. "I think you're right," I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"What? Agreeing with me without argument?" He teased as his eyes lit up mischievously. "Marriage has made you more compliant than I expected."

I threw my head back and laughed. "Dream on kid. It was a one time thing. Don't expect me to agree with every bit of nonsense that comes out of your mouth."

He pouted as he took offense but it made him look super adorable. I laughed again and kissed him. A chuckle sounded in his throat as he kissed me back. I love our playful banter. It's so much fun to tease him.

For the next few days we did all sorts of things; shopping, eating out, and went swimming together, though the water was much too cold for his taste. His lips would turn purple within minutes but he'd stubbornly insist that he was fine and that I was imagining things. What stubborn pride but I'm used to it now.

After two weeks our honeymoon was coming to an end and on the final morning I felt a little forlorn about it. We'd been having such a good time and I didn't want it to end. But it wasn't just that, I was also a little worried about living a different life. The plan was for us to be artisans, but would Deidara be able to give up the Shinobi lifestyle so easily? Once when he was sixteen he told me that being a Shinobi was in his blood. _Its part of who I am, _he said then. _Chakra flows through my veins and creates such an adrenaline rush that it compels me to act_. _It's purely instinctive._ If that's the case, then why is he settling for the calm lifestyle of an artist? I know why he's doing it, so we can stay together. But what if he comes to resent being caged in and held back from his true identity? Then he'd be angry and blame me…could I live with that?

He stirred awake and I felt his lips brush against the nape of my neck. "Mmm, you taste _so_ good," he groaned softly as his hand slipped around my waist.

Not feeling in the mood for romance I climbed out of bed and slipped on a robe. Securing the tie around my waist I went to open the window. The newly-risen sun was starting to make its way through the sky, its warm yellows rays beautifully reflected off the rising waves. It was a wonderful sight but it failed to lift my spirits as I continued to worry. Will there ever come a day that we'll regret this? I know that I won't…but I couldn't bear the thought of Deidara hating me for tying him down.

I flinched when he slipped his arms low around my waist and he pressed into my back. "Is something wrong? Please don't shut me out again."

I looked at him over my shoulder to see his worried face and pleading eyes. "Is this what you want?" I whispered fearfully. "I mean _really._" He looked confused so I explained further. "Can you so easily give up being a Shinobi when it's such a part of you?"

He lowered his gaze thoughtfully and my heart pounded to see his expression fall a little. Apparently this had been on his mind as well. I felt panicky until he looked up at me with shining eyes. "Yes being a Shinobi is part of who I am. But it's not the only part." He kissed me gently, his lips soft and warm. "I'm a husband, father, son, son-in-law, and artist. I don't need to be in active service to satisfy my Shinobi instincts. There's more to being a Shinobi than just fighting. Loyalty, resolve, and commitment make up a Shinobi. I still feel all of those things…but towards you now." I smiled gently and leaned into him as his hand rested on my slightly bulging abdomen. "I am _your_ Shinobi, Natsume. Use me as you will," he chuckled as he nibbled on my earlobe.

I giggled and turned to kiss him. "You're such a tease sometimes. But seriously are you sure-"

"Yes I am," he said firmly. "So don't worry about it. Do you really think I'd marry you if I wasn't?"

I hesitated for a moment and blushed with shame. I should have known better. He's young but he's not a boy anymore. He can be intelligent…when he puts his mind to it. He smiled warmly. "I love you Natsume and I can't wait to start our lives together. At last…things will be just as they should be."

I wore a small smile and nodded. He kissed me again and I wrapped my arms around him as I kissed him back. His kind words banished my remaining fears and joy filled my heart with anticipation. Instead of dreading the return, I now looked forward to it.


	48. Chapter 48: Mrs Uchiha

[Deidara's Point of View]

I have to be honest; being normal is the hardest thing I've ever done. Yoshino isn't just a new name; it's a new lifestyle in every respect including temperament. I had to work hard on keeping my temper in check. There's not much that artists have to be angry about, at least not to my usual degree of rage. I wore black gloves to cover my hands, my poor Kinjutsu talent now laid to rest. Part of me mourned for that loss. I can now see what Natsume meant about being really sure. I loved being a Shinobi and to now lay that part of me aside was harder than I ever imagined it would be. Natsume seemed to sense that and was very supportive, patient, and encouraging.

With help from our parents we bought a little art studio with an apartment over it. Normally I would have preferred to save up the money myself but time was of the essence now. We needed to have a home of our own to welcome our little son in six short months. It was incredible to see her stomach start to swell and to feel the first few gentle kicks. It filled me with a sense of immeasurable pride to hold my sexy wife in my arms and feel my son's quiet movements.

Every morning I would kiss her good morning and then kiss her stomach and wish Tomiichi good morning too. Usually she found it touching but this morning she rolled her eyes. "C'mon Dei-Dei," she said, using my nickname in the privacy of our bedroom. "We're not going to have a boy, let alone name him Tomiichi."

"And what makes you he's going to be a girl, hm?" I teased her with a smirk as I propped myself up on one elbow.

"I don't know anymore than you do," she admitted as she lay beside me, her hands up behind her head. "I just want to disagree with you."

"It's nice to know that you're on my side," I said sarcastically as I leaned down to give her a quick kiss.

"It's not like we need to agree on everything. Disagreeing makes for more variety." She grinned.

"No it doesn't!" I laughed. "It just makes you stubborn!"

"Then stubborn I will be!" She said as she tweaked my nose. We both enjoyed a good laugh over that. "But I'll tell you what, let's make a deal. I'll let you name our son Tomiichi if we can name our daughter Akiko."

I cocked my head to the side curiously. "Why Akiko?"

She lowered her gaze and blushed faintly. "When I was a little girl, I dreamed of giving that name to my daughter. It…has special significance to me." She confessed in a soft voice.

"I see," I murmured with a secret smile. It's nice to hear some of her long-forgotten dreams. I love the fact that she allows herself to dream again and that she now has the freedom to live them. "Then we have a deal."

In the stillness of our room we silently cuddled together, my hand coming to rest on her stomach. Two swift movements pressed against my palm, bringing a smile to my lips. _My son…I can't wait to meet you in person. So hurry up already and grow big and strong. _Natsume's hand came to rest over mine and our fingers intertwined. No words were exchanged as I'm sure she felt as over-whelmed with joy as I did. For now it was just the two of us, but in a few years time we'll have the laughter and chatter of children echoing throughout the place. I can hardly wait but sadly I must.

I heard her breathing slow and deepen as she drifted off to sleep in my arms. She's going through a tired phase in the pregnancy where she spends most of the day taking naps. The village's midwife had assured me that this is all quite normal. _It takes great energy for a fetus to grow so it's important that Kaneko take it easy and rest often to replenish her strength. _She warned as she looked at Natsume for emphasis. Natsume scowled in response but kept her mouth shut. They often clashed because Natsume's pride wouldn't allow her to admit that being pregnant changed her ability to do things.

Now after a long night of deep and peaceful sleep she was already asleep again. I quietly climbed out of bed, tucked her in, and kissed her forehead in farewell. By now the sun had risen and it was time to work in the studio. I'll admit that I've really enjoyed being an artist full time, to spend each day doing what I love best. Obviously I can't use my usual style since it's too distinctive and recognizable. It took awhile but eventually I developed a whole new style and already it's starting to gain recognition in Shimizu. I'm now earning more income than when I had started and it feels good to be able to provide for my family.

It wasn't quite time for customers to come with their requests and commissions. I don't work solely for one patron, I like the freedom to accept or reject any consignment I don't like. It was too early to open up shop but I enjoyed prepping the clay and organizing my tools for the day. The solitude gives me time to go over ideas and make plans. So naturally I was surprised when I realized that there was someone else in the room. I stiffened and instinctively took a defensive position with a chisel gripped tightly in my hand. "Who are you? How did you get inside, hm?"

A deep, gravely chuckle sounded in the shadows. "It's you all right. Although usually you'd act first and then ask questions later." A large mass emerged from the shadows and I recognized him. My jaw dropped and the chisel slipped through my fingers. "Kisame no Danna…" I whispered hoarsely. He smirked and nodded. "But what are you doing here?" I burst out. "How did you know where to find me?"

"Itachi has been keeping tabs on you ever since you 'died.'"

I scowled darkly. "Why doesn't that surprise me?" I grumbled. "Don't tell me he's still trying to seduce Natsume too."

He chuckled. "No, he has admitted defeat at last."

"If you're just going to talk about that scumbag then just go already, not that I'm not happy to see you again," I said, careful to not insult him as well.

His smile grew, was he happy or amused by me? "I'm afraid that he has to be mentioned. He's the reason I came."

I frowned suspiciously. "What do you mean by that?"

"Itachi is dying," he said reverently. I stared in surprised and he continued on. "He felt that he couldn't part from this world without giving Natsume-san this." He reached into a Shinobi pouch he wore strapped to his left thigh and pulled out a scroll. Instead of handing it directly to me, he set it down on a nearby table.

"Don't leave that here, hm!" I snapped as I stormed towards him and made to grab it so I could give it back. I resented Itachi for thinking he had the right to contact her. He's done enough and I want no more of his meddling influence! To my surprise my fingers hit the table underneath. I blinked in surprise and tried again only to realize that my fingers literally slipped right through the scroll. I wasn't able to grasp it.

"He knew you wouldn't allow it so he's placed safeguards to keep it from you," Kisame explained sympathetically.

I curled my trembling fingers into a tight fist. "I hate him!" I seethed. "I don't want Natsume to have anything to do with him, hm!"

"Relax kid, this will be the last time you hear from him."

"What's in the scroll? Why does he want her to have it so badly?"

He sighed as he looked down at it. "I don't know but he assured me that she will not be harmed by it. It is meant only to be a parting gift."

I scowled down at it as I cursed Itachi mentally. I hope he dies a slow and painful death! How dare he interfere with our lives still! He shouldn't have anything to do with her! Then I flinched when Kisame rested a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "So how are you these days? Are you happy to be free?"

I stirred myself from my dark and bitter thoughts and looked up at him. This will be the last time I see him again. I wore a small smile and nodded. "Yeah, but its more than just being free from Akatsuki. It's a new chance to be who I used to be, but it's also even better than that! In a few months I'll be a father!"

He blinked in surprise and barked a laugh. "Ah! So she's pregnant? Congratulations, I'm happy for you."

My smile broadened. "Thanks."

"Well you'll certainly have your hands full then," he winked with a gentle smirk. "Take care of yourself, kid. And if you want to, tell Natsume-san I said hi."

I nodded. "I will. Take care Kisame no Danna."

He bowed his head in farewell and slipped back into the shadows. Within seconds I no longer felt his presence. I sat down on a nearby stool and stared at where I saw him last. Thoughts turned over in my mind as I contemplated his visit. It was great to see him again; I had looked up to his wise advice during my time in Akatsuki. But it was hard to separate my happiness at his visit from the anger of its purpose. I glared down at the scroll and spat on it. It too went through it and hit the table. Curse that Uchiha!

"Why didn't you wake me?" Natsume whispered as she came through the backdoor. I looked over my shoulder to see her rubbing her eyes sleepily. "I was going to help you open up shop remember?"

"I know but I didn't want to wake you," I said as I stood up. My eyes involuntarily rested on her stomach. It still fills me with a sense of pride that she carries my child. "The mid-wife said it was important that you rest remember?"

She scowled at this and opened her mouth to make some biting remark when she hesitated and stared down at the worktable. I felt an incredible wave of energy and was horrified to see the scroll glowing red. Her presence seemed to activate whatever power Itachi had infused with the seal. I have to get rid of this stupid thing! But before I could do anything, a beam of crimson light shot across the room towards her. She cried out in terror, taking a step back but escape was impossible. It hit her square in the chest and her scream gave way to eerie silence.

"NATSUME!" I cried out as I ran towards her with arms out-stretched.

She slowly sank to the floor and I caught her and held her close. Her golden eye was glazed over, evidence of being trapped within a genjutsu. My heart raced in my chest as I was on the verge of having a panic attack. I can't release it when she doesn't have chakra to disrupt! What has Itachi done?! Is he so jealous that he's going to keep us apart this way? Curse him! She lay still in my arms but her chest moved up and down rhythmically. Her serene countenance proved that she wasn't being tortured but to be so powerless to save her was torture _for me_. "Oh Natsume," I murmured, my voice thick with emotion as I leaned down to gently kiss her. "I'm sorry. This is my fault."

Then a spark of clarity came to me and I quickly summoned a clone to keep watch over her. I ran out the door with arms pumping and feet flying as I ran down the street. I'm going to need help with this and I know just the person for the job.

* * *

[Natsume's Point of View]

A gentle hand ran along the length of my side as a pair of lips gently pressed against mine. "Wake up, my love," a deep voice murmured amorously.

I groaned slightly as I stirred awake. Lying beside me was a shirtless man with long dark hair that hung about his shoulders and dark soulful eyes that lit up as he smiled handsomely. I blinked slowly as I processed this sight for a few seconds. My head feels foggy like I'm in some sort of trance. I have a faint feeling that something is wrong with this scene but I didn't know what. He snuggled closer and I felt his warmth through my nightgown. "My love…my wife…" he murmured again as he kissed me again. His eyes turned crimson and drew me in. Soon all doubts were cleared from my mind as I remembered our childhood. I remembered the first time he held my hand on the way home from school and our first kiss under the old oak tree during a rainstorm where he first told me that he loved me. We've been through so much together and I now recognized my best friend and lover.

I smiled and kissed him back. The gentle kiss soon deepened pleasurably as his hand ran slipped up the back of my short silky nightgown. His fingertips massaged along my spine, causing me to press into him. His lips wandered down my neck and I groaned softly as I arched it. My sensitive neck was susceptible to his roving lips and my eyes rolled back in my head as he continued his amorous intentions. He carefully rolled me onto my back and lay on top of me. The fabric of the nightgown was so sheer that I felt the rising heat from his muscled body. He paused for a moment, panting softly, his breath warm on my face. I gently brushed his long ebony bangs from his face so I could better admire his handsome face. A smile pulled at the corner of his mouth as he gazed down at me. "You are so very beautiful." He whispered. "And I can't believe you're mine." I giggled softly as I blushed modestly. He stroked my cheek with his slender fingertips. "Only you give me the courage to be the man I ought to have been. Thank you Natsume."

"If you're really grateful I would rather you showed it instead," I teased as I pulled him in for another kiss. No further words were spoken as we made love. He was sensitive and precise in his caress. His light touch drove me wild and made me scream for more. Never had sex felt so exhilarating. By the end I felt weak but my skin still tingled with pleasure. I snuggled close to his side as he held me close. He spoke to me of his dreams, ones that were more than just being a famous Shinobi. He had always wanted to be a medical-nin, caring for others and truly making a difference for the cause of peace. "I've seen the dark side of the Shinobi World and even furthered its terrible agenda," his tone sounded grave. "For that I will never forgive myself. Peace will not be achieved through war. It goes against the very definition of it. To be at peace is to be at one with yourself."

"Are you one with yourself?" I asked curiously.

He let out a large sigh, my head gently bobbed on his chest. "Not as often as I would like. Sometimes…I wish I could forget the past…erase the sin…be cleansed…" He was silent for a while and I started to worry.

"Itachi, please don't," I said as I looked into his pensive face with its haunted eyes. "Don't hide yourself behind that mask of yours. Please," I gently stroked his cheek. "I accept your light and dark side, the good as well as the evil."

He considered this for a moment. "Why?"

"Why do you have to ask that?" I asked in exasperation. "Because I love you, you idiot."

At this he chuckled. "I've never been called that before."

"Well I just did," I laughed merrily. "So what are you doing to do about that?"

"You're not going to get away with it, that's for sure," he grinned deviously as he suddenly pinned me back against the feather pillows. Again we made love, this time more fiercely but every bit as pleasurable as before. My head reeled as my senses overloaded. Nothing could ever feel this good…nothing! I cried out his name numerous times which pleased him greatly. I was completely breathless by the end and he kissed my forehead. "Consider yourself punished."

I giggled softly as I dragged a lazy finger down his chest. "I'll never behave again."

He laughed; the sound full of mirth. "Oh how I love your spirit. There's no one else quite like you." He climbed out of bed and started to dress for the day, strapping on light ANBU armor.

"Off to work again?" I asked dismally.

"Of course, I go every day."

"Take the day off and spend it with me," I pleaded as I took hold of his hand and pulled him closer. "Please?"

He considered this for a moment and then nodded with a smile. "Very well."

We spent the rest of the day together and passed the time pleasantly. His smile was warm, his touch affectionate, and his eyes sparkled with joy. He was enamored with me and so grateful to have me in his life. The feeling was mutual. The days slipped by, each one as happy as the last. It wasn't perfect all the time; we had differences to negotiate through. I can be very stubborn and set in my ways sometimes but he was very compromising and eager to please me. Every night I fell asleep in the warmth of his embrace. Before long we learned that I was pregnant and he was absolutely thrilled. He kept track of the progression and took great pride in the fact that our love now had a physical manifestation. He'd stroke my stomach with a wide smile, his gaze lowered affectionately. "Of all my accomplishments…this is the one I'm the proudest of. I…" his voice cracked with emotion. "I have always wanted to be a Father."

"And you'll be the best," I promised as I lifted his chin to give him a tender kiss. "I'm sure of it."

"How can you be certain of that?"

I was surprised to hear uncertainty in his voice. "Because you _are_ the best Itachi. You're strong and gentle. I wouldn't have settled for less than the best for my children."

"_Our_ children," he smiled as he kissed me back.

And so the years passed and together we brought three children into the world. They were such spirited and lively little boys; and every bit as talented as his father. Together we worked hard to raise them right. He was firm or gentle when needed, always sensitive to the times when either one was required in any given situation. He continued to be praised as an excellent Shinobi by the Leaf Village, but he clearly took greater pride in being a father. He was a great provider and affectionate husband. I was so grateful to have him in my life. The children grew up all too quickly and moved away, making the house feel quiet and empty. But my life wasn't, even in our elderly years we still felt like newly-weds. Our lives were enriched by years of compromise, love, and hard-work.

Then abruptly it started to fade away and I opened my eyes to find myself lying in bed with two men sitting on either side of me. One had ebony hair with brilliant sapphire eyes and the other had blonde hair but bore a family resemblance.

"Natsume!" The younger man cried out with relief as he kissed my hand repeatedly. "Oh Natsume you're back!"

I frowned slightly as I didn't recognize him. Where is Itachi? Just then he appeared above me, hovering in the air like a ghost. He very well may have been for the two men didn't seem to notice him. He was in his early twenties form and smiled affectionately. He kissed me, but it felt like a gentle breeze against my lips. "Forgive me Natsume-san," he said softly. "But for once…I wanted to truly live. Even if it could only be a dream…it was enough for me. Thank you for that."

With that he faded away and with his disappearance I remembered all: that scroll, my real life…my real husband…

"I'm so sorry Natsume," Deidara sniffed as his eyes filled with tears of regret. "This is my fault."

"No it isn't," I whispered as I hugged him close and gently shushed him. He trembled in my arms and I felt guilty. Is it infidelity to cheat on your husband in a dream world when you didn't know that you were really married to someone else who wasn't in the dream but in the real world? Now that sounds so ridiculous that I've decided it doesn't count. Instead I'm grateful to be back with my husband again, in the life that I've chosen to live.

It turns out that shortly after I succumbed to the genjutsu, Deidara had gone to get his dad who was actually a retired Shinobi himself. He apparently was once called the Steel Grip of Iwagakure, a legend in his own right. How is it that I never knew that about him? Apparently shortly after marrying he decided to appease Yukiko's worry and live a quiet life. He did so with no regrets but it was no surprise later that their son turned out to be just as powerful as his father. He had been renowned for his ability to unravel genjutsu and did so with the one that ensnared me. Apparently Itachi's was more powerful than he was used to so it took some time to free me from it. I thanked him for his help and he smiled kindly. "Think nothing of it. I'm glad to be of assistance. Although…I do hope you don't plan to make a habit out of this." He gently teased.

"Dad!" Deidara protested, offended that he would joke about something so serious.

I laughed anyway and shook my head. "No sir, I certainly do not!"

He smiled and kissed my forehead in farewell. Once Deidara was reassured that I suffered no ill effects from the genjutsu he demanded to know what I experienced. I flinched at his reasonable request, not sure if it's a good idea to talk about it at all. It's only going to make him mad. But I had long since resolved to be completely honest with him so I confessed it all. He went red in the face and exploded with rage and a string of curses. In his fit he inadvertently talked about Kisame's surprise visit to leave the scroll behind. I tuned Deidara out as I thought about that. _He felt that he couldn't part from this world without giving Natsume-san this…_What an interesting thing to say. Why is that? Itachi no doubt lives with many regrets and it makes sense that before his final battle he'd want to lay many of them to rest. But why this one in particular? I remembered the night he told me that it sickened him to know that I carried Deidara's child. While he denied being envious, he had hesitated for a moment first. I could see the jealously behind those usually cryptic eyes. And those final words before my real memories returned. _Forgive me Natsume-san but for once…I wanted to truly live. Even if it could only be a dream…it was enough for me. Thank you for that._

I bowed my head in thought. Of course I'm angry that he did this to me but I also feel sorry for him. The Prodigy of Konoha and the feared S-Ranked criminal in Akatsuki…wants nothing more than to be a normal man. That was what the dream had been...it was the life he wished he could have lived. And no doubt the life he could have had if he hadn't accepted that terrible mission. And because of that one choice he will never have the family that he longs for. My heart broke for him and in that moment I shed a tear for my fallen friend.


	49. Chapter 49: The Final Masterpiece

[Deidara's Point of View]

For weeks I was in a state of constant worry, terrified that Itachi would try something else. It bruised my pride that I had been powerless to protect my wife. Natsume ironically wasn't worried at all. In fact she seemed to pity the jerk. Pity? PITY?! Clearly it was some subliminal message that he had implanted after the genjutsu was released. I created safeguards around our place and kept a shadow clone on guard until his death was reported in the local newspaper. At last the world is rid of that womanizing scumbag. She however continued to feel sorry for him and scolded me for celebrating his death. "You don't know him Deidara, you never even tried to."

"And why should I have?" I frowned back. "He was a sick murderer and tried to seduce you numerous times. I have all the reason in the world not to like him, hm!"

She lowered her gaze for a moment. "Yes he's guilty of all those things, but there's more to him than that…"

"I don't need more reasons to hate him," I grumbled as I threw the newspaper away. "I'm happy with the two I've got."

She wisely let the subject drop but remained a little sad. I hated to think that she was mourning his loss so I suddenly decided we'd take the day off and go to the beach. We spent the day collecting sea shells, swimming, and walking along the shore. We ran into Masanori and his family. Chieko and Taizo were making sand castles and Natsume knelt down to help. Masanori and I watched on.

"How is she doing?" He whispered quietly. Dad had told him about the genjutsu, the whole experience had left the rest of us a little rattled.

I sighed. "She appears to be fine, but she still seems to feel sorry for him. I don't get it."

"There must be a reason for it," he murmured softly. "But now that he's dead things should be ok."

I nodded slowly. Yes, the threat ended with Itachi…and as long as Tobi doesn't know that we're still alive things should be alright. I smiled at the sight of Natsume playing with her little brother. And to think that soon she'd be chasing our little son around the beach. I can't wait. We were invited to eat dinner at the villa that evening, which invitation we accepted. I told them about my thriving business and Natsume complained that I let her sleep all the time. We all had a good laugh about that. When the conversation turned towards the recent grape harvest production at the villa I silently watched my wife. Her face radiated happiness; there was a sparkle in her eye and a wide smile on her face. She was interacting with her family, really being a part of it. That was so very different from the girl I met all those years ago. Then she kept people at a distance, watching from the sidelines and secretly envying their happiness. Now she was comfortable enough with herself to really open up to others. She's changed a lot, and all for the better. I'm so proud of her. I took her hand and winked. She smiled and winked back. I'm so very happy to be here with her and be a part of her family.

The next few months seemed to fly by as her pregnancy continued to progress. Her stomach swelled impossibly large, to the point that she waddled when she walked. I laughed once and only once because she punched me over that. I guess I deserved that. Towards the end the pressure our son exerted on her back caused her a lot of pain. Some days the only way she could get comfortable to was lay down. I did all I could to ease her discomfort: giving her spiced cider, massages (I loved any excuse to touch her), read aloud her favorite books. Naturally it fell upon me to handle the household chores. It was definitely a lot of work combined with running a business but it was worth it. Unfortunately those gentle kicks in the beginning now grew in force and amount. Sometimes I'd be kicked awake with some little fist or foot slamming against my spine. I'm surprised he hasn't managed to kick his way through her stomach just yet. Poor Natsume seemed defeated and exhausted. It didn't help that strangers made comments that she ought to be grateful now for the peace and quiet because it was only going to get worse when he's born. One night she cuddled close soon after we'd climbed into bed for the night. "How am I going to do this?" She murmured. "I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired," she groaned softly as she fidgeted to get comfortable. "Will it really get worse?"

I rolled onto my side and kissed her forehead. "No, it'll only get better." She looked at me curiously and I continued. "Before you know it your body will be your own again and we'll have a beautiful little boy-"

"Or girl," she smirked.

"Or girl to love and cherish," I conceded with a smirk in return. "I know it's hard to imagine that now when you feel so terrible but I promise you it will get better."

She smiled sweetly as she looked a little more hopeful. "Thank you Deidara," she murmured, her lips gently pressed against mine. "Thanks for everything you've done for me. I know that it hasn't been easy for you."

"I've been fine," I reassured her.

"There's no need to be brave about it," she giggled softly. "It's been just as hard for you as it's been for me but it's nice to share the burden together. I couldn't do this without you, you know. So thank you," she whispered.

"You're welcome," I said softly with a proud smile spreading across my face. "Good night, my dear." Then I grunted as our son kicked me hard in the stomach. "And good night to you too Tomiichi. Now settle down and give your mother some peace."

"Yeah you tell her Daddy." She teased.

"Hey don't disrespect Daddy Power," I teased back as I tweaked her nose. "See? He's quieted down. I've got skills."

She threw her head back and laughed. Oh how I love hearing her laugh and I laughed along with her.

Her appointments to the mid-wife were now once a week instead of once a month, focusing on dilation (whatever that has to do with being pregnant) and the size and position of the baby. But everything was coming along nicely she assured us and was confident that everything was as it should be. My parents came to stay with Masanori's family so they would be here to help when our son finally arrives. Dad and Masanori helped with the store while Chieko and Mom helped with the chores. All of this was so I could spend more time with Natsume. Surprisingly she found the assistance a little annoying. "I don't like it," she grumbled. "It's like everyone's waiting for me to have this baby any second now. I don't like the pressure."

"It's not like that at all," I reassured her. "They're only trying to help so there's no reason to be ungrateful." I lay beside her in bed and nuzzled my face against her neck. "Besides, I like any excuse to be by your side. Just you and me…like the good old days."

"In those days I wouldn't allow you in my bed," she reminded me with a giggle.

"Unfortunately," I sighed dramatically. "I had to settle for wet dreams instead."

"Deidara!" She cried out in surprise before bursting into a fit of laughter. "You little pervert!"

I laughed along with her. "Hey I can't help it if you're so sexy that you take over my dreams."

"Oh I love you kid," she said as she settled down. "You always find a way to make me laugh and forget my troubles."

"You shouldn't have any more troubles," I gently scolded. "After all you've got me now."

"I do indeed," she smiled gently. "And I'm grateful everyday for that."

Shortly after she fell asleep again. Seriously I doubt that even cats sleep as much as she does. I carefully climbed out of bed and tucked her in. Then I went downstairs to find Dad down in the kitchen cooking dinner. "Hey can I help?" I offered.

"Can you hand me some sesame seeds?" He pointed at the spices cupboard. "I thought I'd make some Chazuke for Natsume. You know, something light that should agree with her stomach."

I nodded and I handed it to him. "Sounds good."

I watched as he prepared the dish with his custom culinary flare. It's so weird to think that he was once a respected Shinobi too but he seems happier in the kitchen than on the battlefield. He looked at me sideways. "Something on your mind Deidara?"

I wore a side smile and nodded. He's as perceptive as always. "Natsume's due date is coming closer." He nodded. "And I…well…were you worried when Mom was expecting me?"

He chuckled softly. "I didn't sleep for days. Every time your mother fidgeted in her sleep I would bolt wide awake. I was so panicky that she found it more peaceful to _not_ have me around. After so many sleepless nights the one time I fell into a deep sleep, she went into labor. By the time she managed to wake me up it was too late to summon the mid-wife. I delivered you myself on the kitchen floor."

I made a face. "I really hope that doesn't happen to us."

"Neither do I," he commiserated. "But I doubt it will so don't worry about it."

"But I do," I confessed to him alone. I had to be strong for Natsume's sake; she's relying on me and looking to me for comfort. I can't be weak and admit my fears to her.

Dad set the meal aside to cool and turned towards me. "I know and that's perfectly normal. I'd be worried if you weren't a little scared about it."

"So what do I do?" I asked desperately.

"Keep a cool head and focus more on helping your wife. Let the mid-wife deal with the complications of labor. Your job is to help Natsume. She'll be looking to you for support and comfort so give her what she needs." I nodded slowly. That made a lot of sense and laid some of my fears to rest. "Feel a little better now?" Dad asked and I nodded. "Good, I'll prepare the dinner tray then for you to bring up to her."

He set the tray with the Chazuke displayed creatively on the plate with some rice, stir-fried vegetables, strawberry daifuku for dessert, and a steamed mug of cider. I carefully carried it upstairs and set it on her nightstand. I gently tapped her awake. She groaned as she blinked wearily at the food and made a face. "I don't feel like eating," she grumbled as she rolled away from it.

"Are you not feeling well?" I asked worriedly.

"I never feel well these days," she chuckled grimly. "I'm sorry you went to the trouble of cooking for me…"

"Don't be sorry," I reassured her as I picked the tray up. "I'll bring it back when you're ready to eat." I took it downstairs and explained to Dad what happened. He put it away for me and I went back upstairs to turn in for the night. I tried to gently cuddle with her but she pulled away. "Please don't touch me," she whimpered softly. "I hurt so bad."

"Are you going into labor?" I panicked.

"No I'm just really uncomfortable," she reassured me. "Makes sense when I'm carrying a huge baby inside my usually small stomach. It's like some hostile alien take over. I feel so bloated and I'm covered in stretch marks. I just know that I've lost my figure for good," she bemoaned.

"You look like the mother of my child and you've never been sexier." I reassured her as I kissed on her cheek.

She wore a small tired smile as she blew me a kiss. Then she closed her eyes and fell back asleep. The next morning she felt even worse with such pressure built up in her back that she couldn't even get out of bed. Chieko perked up when I announced this to the others in the kitchen over breakfast. "Has she experienced anything this severe before?" I shook my head. "Then call the mid-wife immediately. Some women experience labor pains in their back so it should be looked into."

Dad and Masanori went to fetch the mid-wife while Chieko and I went upstairs to check on Natsume. She was writhing in bed, complaining of feeling wet and experiencing waves of pain. We pulled back the blankets to discover that her water had broke. I carefully picked her up and held her as Chieko changed the sheets and blankets. Natsume trembled in my arms. "Is it finally happening?" She asked fearfully.

"Most likely," I said with a comforting smile. "It'll be ok. Our Dads have gone to get the mid-wife so she'll be here soon."

Natsume nodded and then hissed as she experienced another contraction. Her breathing grew shallow as her panic made her short of breath. "Take deep calming breaths or you'll hyper-ventilate," I reminded her.

Chieko set down warm blankets and towels and I laid Natsume back down on the bed. By then the mid-wife arrived and preformed a quick check-up. "She's dilated to seven centimeters, things are progressing very quickly. Yoshino-san please sit beside her and keep her calm. And Miss-?" She turned towards Chieko inquiringly.

"Chieko Nadeshiko," she said with a bow of the head.

"Chieko-san, would you be comfortable assisting me? My regular assistant wasn't able accompany me today."

"I'd be glad to help," Chieko said with a smile. "What can I do?"

I tuned them out as I focused solely on Natsume. She looked terrified, drenched in a cold sweat and was on the verge of hyper-ventilating. My poor girl…my heart went out to her. Natsume gripped my hand tightly and squeezed it until my knuckles popped painfully. "I can't do this," She said as she shook her head back and forth. "I…I c-can't!"

"Yes you can," I said firmly but gently. "I know you can."

"I can't!" She disagreed and then gasped with pain. I caught her face in my hands and looked her right in the eyes. "Focus on the sound of my voice," I whispered. "Block everything else out and focus solely on me. Look into my eyes…listen to me…trust me…" She stared back with wide disbelieving eyes. She probably thought I was crazy but I persisted. "It's just the two of us…no one else…just us two." I spoke of our fondest memories, explaining all in vivid detail. I spun a tale so descriptive that she was distracted enough to be dimly aware of the pain. That combined with the powerful painkillers the mid-wife had quickly administered set Natsume's panic and pain to more manageable levels.

When it came time to push the mid-wife instructed me on how to encourage her while counting between rest periods. Chieko remained at the mid-wife's side and carried out her other instructions. Natsume gritted her teeth as sweat broke out anew at her exertion. She pushed with all her might and let out a loud cry. The mid-wife deftly caught the infant and set about cleaning him. Natsume collapsed back against the pillows as she gasped for air. I gently dabbed her face with a cool cloth. "You did it!" I congratulated her with a wide smile. "It's all over. You're going to be alright now."

She wore a tired smile. "I couldn't…have done it w-without you," she said in a breathless voice. Her hand trembled weakly as she pressed it against my cheek. "Thanks."

"That's what I'm here for," I reassured her as I leaned down to kiss her mouth.

She giggled softly as she gently kissed me back. "So is it…a boy or girl?"

I looked up at the mid-wife who held out a pink bundle towards me. She smiled warmly. "Congratulations. It's a little girl."

"A girl?" I asked in shock.

She nodded and placed the bundle in my arms. "A very beautiful girl."

I looked down at the red squishy-faced infant in my arms. She blinked up at me as her tiny blue eyes adjusted to the bright light of the room. I'll admit I was initially disappointed. I had been so sure that we were going to have a boy but it looks like I was wrong after all. Then disappointment was replaced with curiosity as I studied her delicate features. She had my defined eyes and chin, and her mother's nose and mouth. Her head was covered with soft blonde hair that wisped out in all directions. I couldn't help but smile. Next to her mother, she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. "Look Natsume," I whispered as I lay the infant beside her on the bed. "It's our Living Masterpiece."


	50. Chapter 50: Epilogue

**Epilogue**

* * *

Sixteen year old Akiko stirred awake to the sound of something bouncing off the window. She lifted her head with a frown. In her sleepy stupor she couldn't make sense of what was making that noise. There it was again, a rock had hit the glass. That's a weird thing to happen to a second story window. Again it happened and she climbed out of bed and looked out the window. She smiled as she recognized the figure on the sidewalk below and quickly threw open the window. "Hideharu-kun! What are you doing here?"

"I've come to set you free dear princess," he smiled as he chakra-leaped onto the window sill. He crouched down so he could lean in to kiss her. She giggled. What a little flirt but she loved him all the same. He surprised her by deepening the kiss but it was a welcome surprise. She leaned into him, embedding her fingers in his tousled auburn hair as she kissed him back. This was a new experience and she allowed the moment to over-whelm her.

Just then a cough sounded nearby. They turned to see that they were no longer alone. Deidara leaned casually on the window sill right next to her.

"Dad!" Akiko cried out as she blushed fiercely and jumped back. Her heart beat wildly with panic. How did he get in without her hearing him? And how did he even know that Hideharu was here? Deidara effectively ignored her and turned his chilling gaze on the youth. He folded his arms firmly across his chest and his fierce gaze gave a sense of authoritative animosity. Hideharu gulped nervously under those condemning eyes. He stuttered a greeting, his lame attempt to ease the obvious tension in the room. Deidara silenced him as his eyes narrowed. "Go," his deep voice rumbled threatening. "NOW."

"Yes sir! Good night sir!" Hideharu blurted out and jumped down onto the sidewalk.

Akiko leaned out the window and stretched out a hand towards him. "Hideharu-kun! Wait!" He didn't look back but ran away like a bat out of hell. She growled as she slammed the window shut. Odds are she'll never see him again, just like all her other boyfriends. Stupid Dad, what's he got against them anyway? "Why do you _always_ scare them away? This town is only so big and I'm beginning to run out of guys to date!"

"He's a coward," Deidara said smoothly as he turned to face her. "You deserve better than that."

"He's not a coward!" She protested as she stomped her foot for emphasis. "He's a great guy if you'd only bother to get to know him instead of jumping to conclusions!"

"Great guys don't sneak into their girls' rooms in the middle of the night," Deidara looked unconvinced. "I was young once too, ya know."

She looked exasperated. "Then you should understand-"

"I do," he said firmly. "And that's why I do what I do to keep you safe."

"But it's embarrassing!" She cried out. "No other Dads do what you do!"

"That's because they don't love their daughters enough," he said firmly. She made an angry little pout but he smiled affectionately as he kissed her forehead. "Now go back to bed. We can talk more about this in the morning."

"I don't see why I should bother," she grumbled as she sat down on her bed and folded her arms across her chest. Her blue eyes blazed defiantly, strongly reminding him of himself as a teenager. Oh how he had hated his parent's seemingly patronizing lectures of "it's for your own good." Now that he was the father of four daughters he understood what his parents had tried to do.

He said down beside her with a gentle smile. It's hard to believe that she was once his little girl. Now she's well on her way to becoming a woman, every bit as free-spirited as her father before her. "I know you think I'm over-reacting but I love you very much." She softened at his gentle tone and nodded silently. "As your father I take your happiness and well-being very seriously."

"Then why do you scare them away?" She whined a little.

"I only chase away the ones less deserving of you." He said. "When the right one comes along I won't stand in his way."

"And how would you know which is the right one?" She asked in exasperation.

"Because the right one won't run away. He won't resort to secret midnight visits and take liberties with you. He'll do things right and treat you with the respect you deserve. He will have my permission when he can appreciate you for the princess you are."

She wore a small smile as her eyes shone with pride. She threw her arms around his neck. "I love you Dad."

"I love you too," he said as he hugged her back. Then he kissed the top of her head. "Good night." And with that he left the room and she crawled back into bed for the night. He closed the door quietly behind him and took a moment to verify through his tiny clay spiders that fourteen year Chiharu, thirteen year old Jun, and six year old Kokoro were sound asleep in their beds. Satisfied that all was well he walked down the dark hall back to his bedroom. He took the safety of his daughters very seriously, especially since they had no brother to protect them.

Natsume sat up in bed when she heard his return. "Where did you go?"

"A pervert was sneaking into Akiko's room," he said as he threw off his night robe and climbed back into bed.

She giggled softly as she cuddled close. "You mean her boyfriend?"

"I mean a pervert," he said firmly.

She laughed a little more. "If I recall correctly there was a time when a certain pervert snuck into my room and into my bed," she said deviously as she ran her hand down his chest.

"Yeah I guess I was a little bit of one," he confessed as he rolled on top of her and kissed her. "You sure drove me wild then and it was nearly impossible to keep my hands off you."

"And now other young men feel that way about our girls," she concluded.

His expression hardened. "I'd rather not think about that, hm," he grunted.

"But it's the reality," she said seriously. "And before we know it they'll all be grown up and move out to start families of their own."

He considered that for a moment and his gaze softened as he took in his wife's beautiful features. She was every bit as incredible and sexy as the day they'd first met. It made him very happy to spend each and every day with her. He loved her with every fiber of his being and was so very grateful to have a second chance to life. After the 4th Shinobi War the threat of Akatsuki had been destroyed. The dawn of a new World that Uchida/Tobi had prophesied never saw the light of day. If not for Natsume Deidara knew that he would have died along with his S-Ranked comrades. She was his angel of mercy, forgiving his wicked youth and shaping him into the man he should have been all along. "I love you," he murmured affectionately. "So very much."

"I love you too Dei-Dei," she whispered as she cradled his face in her incredibly soft hands and pulled him in for a kiss. He inhaled her sweet and salty scent as he enjoyed her rich taste. She curved beneath him instinctively which drove him wild. He loved the fact that he could do be with her today, tomorrow, and for years to come. She had given him a new life, a new family, and most importantly herself. Now he can look to the future with hope knowing that she'd continue to be a part of it.

* * *

Originally this was going to be the sneak peek for the sequel but I've decided against writing one in the end. I've been working on this story since April and just feel ready for other writing projects. But please add me to your Author Alert so you can stay current on future Naruto fanfics! Also I've drawn a picture of all four daughters and will post it on deviant art soon so be on the look out for that.

*Special thanks to:

1. My co-writer Miko Hayashi. We've collaborated on some great stories together (also including Hearts Desire and Hearts Obsession). Sadly this is our last collaboration so I'd like to give her one final shout out about how awesome she is.

2. Nyght Elf who's not only left faithful reviews on each chapter but taken time out of her busy schedule to help me brainstorm ideas and read some drafts to help add additional insight and inspiration. Her and I will collaborate on the next fanfic "The Violet Thread of Fate."

3. The rest of you readers and reviewers. Thanks for making this my most reviewed fanfic ever! I bow to your awesomeness!


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